This is my first ever song fic, or at least my version of one. Hope you guys enjoy!
Kagome knew this time was different. She'd felt the build up. Sesshomaru's touches had grown more heartfelt somehow, maybe he just dared touch her longer.
This wasn't like the first time. The first time Kagome had nearly run off the edge of a cliff when she went to find somewhere to be alone. Inuyasha was off with Kikyo again. It had broken her heart. Kagome hadn't fallen off the cliff, she saw the edge just in time, and then she sat down on the grass and just stared down at the valley below her, waiting for some kind of revelation.
She'd sensed Sesshomaru approach her long before she heard him.
"Why so sullen?" Sesshomaru had asked in a tone that seemed to suggest that uttering the question alone was a bother to him. "Miko?"
"I think you know why." Kagome folded her hands, one on top of the other, on her knees and rested her chin on her forearms. She didn't get to rest long. Sesshomaru had pulled her up by her arm and Kagome found herself pressed back against his chest. Kagome's heart thudded in her ears.
He had been warm though and Kagome leaned back into him, only a little.
Sesshomaru chuckled.
"Is it because you want his touch?" Sesshomaru trailed his clawed fingers down her arms. Kagome stopped breathing. "He'd rather be touching the dead miko."
Kagome nearly tore herself away from him but Sesshomaru had anticipated the movement and his arm snaked around her waist, holding her in place.
"It is a waste to pine after him," Sesshomaru said. His mouth was right by her ear and Kagome shivered as he spoke. His hands roamed over her body, back up her arms, up her neck, into her hair. Kagome could hardly breathe. Her body was on fire. She had always thought she desired Inuyasha alone, that one day he would stop loving Kikyo and they could be together. Kagome had thought that was her only path to happiness, but now... She hadn't expected her reaction to Sesshomaru's touches. She'd never entertained the idea that he even would touch her. Mr. Distant, Mr. Untouchable, Mr. I Hate Humans.
Sesshomaru had taken her from behind that night. Both of them were still mostly clothed. Kagome had never felt anything so intense.
After that they'd found each other again and again, but only in times of need, never anything else.
This time felt different. Sesshomaru nuzzled his nose in her neck, breathing in her scent. Kagome knew he liked the way she smelled, he'd told her.
"Why do you want me today?" Kagome rasped. His hands travelled up her skin under her shirt. "Am I fun to play with?"
Sesshomaru smirked against her neck. He kissed a trail up her neck and along her jaw. Kagome tilted her head back from the pressure. This was new too, the kissing. He had yet to kiss her on the lips but he'd begun kissing a lot of other places.
Sesshomaru stopped his wet trail at the corner of her mouth. "You have become my favourite toy miko." Kagome smirked and her lips slid over his. Sesshomaru grabbed the back of her head and her lips met his with force.
Kagome knew he liked the way she smelled. What else had she come to know about Sesshomaru? She traced his lips with her tongue. She knew he liked it when she fisted her hands in his hair and pulled a little. She knew he liked it when she played with the shell of his ears. Kagome pulled him down closer so she could do just that. Sesshomaru growled against her lips.
She knew he liked how short she was. She knew his sense of humour was dry and sarcastic. She knew he didn't hate his father and only slightly resented Inuyasha. She knew all these things because he had told her. They talked now, after.
Sesshomaru pulled back from her lips. He undid her skirt and it fell to her feet. "What did the half-breed do this time?"
Kagome sighed. She watched Sesshomaru lower his hakama. "He called me Kikyo during a fight. I was in trouble and he shouted her name before coming to my rescue."
Sesshomaru picked her up and entered her. Kagome gasped with pleasure. There was a tree nearby that Sesshomaru pushed her up against. He started up a steady rhythm and he watched her. That was new too, the staring. Sesshomaru looked into her eyes while he thrust into her. He held her hips, claws digging in, both painful and pleasureful.
"I have told you not to waste you feelings on him," Sesshomaru said. His face contorted with pleasure. Kagome like to stare at him too.
"You like it when I come to you though. And you like that you make me feel this way, not him." Kagome's gaze didn't leave his. There was something Kagome couldn't quite read in his expression, and Kagome thought she'd become pretty good at reading him.
"True." Was all Sesshomaru said after a moment. One of his hands found the bundle of nerves between her legs and Kagome lost any conversational ability she had left. Sesshomaru watched her face as she came undone, panting and clinging to him. He followed her shortly after. It was like watching her was enough to get him off and that sent a thrill through her whole body.
Later that night, while Kagome sat around the fire with her friends, Sesshomaru long gone, she poked at the ashes with a stick. I'm at his beck and call, Kagome thought. She was beginning to become depend on these... meet ups with Sesshomaru. We're not the first to fall, to feel unknown [1].
She missed him when he was gone. That was new. Kagome wished he could stay with her, stay with her friends, sit by the fire with her. She glanced across the fire at Inuyasha. The first dozen times she'd run to Sesshomaru it had been because Inuyasha hurt her. He'd run off with Kikyo or said something that cut into her soul, but that was starting to feel like a secondary reason. Perhaps even a twentieth reason next to missing his scent, missing his touch, missing the way he smirked when she managed to humour him. The reasons had started to go on and on. Crap. I think I'm falling for Sesshomaru. Kagome frowned. No one in their little miss-matched family knew about him. Kagome was sure Sango would be fine, Miroku too, but she worried about Shippo and Inuyasha. Shippo would go along with anything she said, but Kagome was well aware that the tiny yokai was afraid of Sesshomaru.
Inuyasha was another matter. Kagome couldn't imagine it would go well when she eventually told him "hey your brother and I have been hooking up and now I think I'm in love with him." Inuyasha would destroy her, and Sesshomaru, the best he could.
Another thought crossed her mind. Just because you like him, doesn't mean he likes you back. Kagome sighed. She picked up a flower and started to pick off the petals. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.
Sesshomaru sat around his own fire with his small miss-matched family. He rested his chin on his folded hands and stared into the flames. Kagome often came to him when his idiotic half brother had hurt her. That motive had started to bother him lately. I want her to want me of her own desire, Sesshomaru growled at himself. Stupid. He hated the sentiment. That he, the great inu-yokai lord of the west, had fallen at the feet of a human.
He found himself wondering why do you want me today Kagome? Is it because you think you are worth less than nothing at all? [1] When Kagome found him it was usually with fresh tears in her eyes. What did Inuyasha do this time? What memory was she trying to erase using his body? I am at your beck and call.
"Lord Sesshomaru you're frowning lots," Rin said.
Sesshomaru relaxed his face and looked over at the little girl. "I am fine Rin."
"Are you frowning because of Kagome?"
That surprised him. "And what do you know of Kagome?"
"She came looking for you a few days ago," Rin smiled. "I told her you were out hunting. She looked sad that you weren't around."
"I see."
"Do you like her Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin had this easy way with which she spoke that made it hard for Sesshomaru to ever take offence to anything she said. Jakken always rose to the occasion.
The toad croaked. "How dare you say such a thing about Lord Sesshomaru. He would never love a human."
Rin frowned. "He loves me."
"That's different! Sesshomaru would never love a woman like Inuyasha's wen-"
"Enough Jakken," Sesshomaru growled. Jakken sucked in a breath and remained quiet. "Rin, it is complicated."
"Adults are weird," Rin said. She turned the skewers of fish that leaned over the fire.
Sesshomaru smiled a little. "We are."
"I like Lady Kagome. I hope she come around more often," Rin said. It wasn't a request, it was just a statement.
"We'll see," Sesshomaru nodded.
"Here." Rin picked up a flower and plucked the leaves. "She loves you. She loves you not."
Two days later Sesshomaru pushed Kagome roughly against a wall. They were behind an abandoned hut, the walls might not hold up if things got too rough.
Kagome's gasp, one of pain and pleasure, as she hit the wall with force made Sesshomaru's whole body shiver. He'd been reacting more strongly to her lately. Just her breathing alone could set him off. He loved listening to her moans, especially at her most worked up.
Sesshomaru lifted Kagome's shirt over her head. Once she was bare to him he wasted no time in trailing kisses all over her chest. He bit down on her nipple, careful of his fangs, and Kagome arched her back with a cry of pleasure. "Sesshomaru."
He could smell her arousal. She was ready for him. Sesshomaru pulled her underwear off and then freed himself. They were never been completely naked around each other. Sesshomaru sensed it was a level of intimacy Kagome couldn't deal with. Then it wouldn't be just sex.
Sesshomaru pushed into her and Kagome cried out. "Yes!" she hissed. "Please. Please."
"You said you came to talk."
"I forgot what I was going to say."
Sesshomaru could tell she was lying.
"Why did you come here today? You really think there's something more to say or do you just need saving? [1]" Sesshomaru rasped as he thrust into her.
"What do you want me to say?" Kagome panted. "If you want me, I'll be waiting. If you don't, it's okay. [1]" Liar. Kagome seemed to lose her breathe for a moment before continuing. "I know what this is Sesshomaru. We're not the first to fall. To feel alone. To feel unwanted.[1]"
"Is that how you feel?"
"I- not right now, no, I don't." Kagome looked into his eyes. Her eyes glazed with pleasure. Her body shook with every thrust. Sesshomaru grew drunk on the sight of her. He kissed her and with each thrust he played his own game of she loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Kagome hefted her giant yellow bag over the lip of the well. What was even on that math test? It couldn't have been anything from the text book. I'm doomed. Kagome had thought she'd be better able to manage her studies and her duties in the feudal era but she felt like a fish on land.
"So doomed," Kagome said as she pushed herself over the lip of the well.
"About time you returned," Inuyasah said. He was there waiting for her. Not helping her with her backpack.
"Yeah, yeah." Kagome rolled her eyes. Kagome's eyes scanned the forest. She wasn't sure why or what she was hoping for. Sesshomaru had never come to meet her when she returned to the feudal era before. Besides, he wouldn't venture anywhere close if Inuyasha was there. Still she searched for him. She missed him. It'd been over a week since she last saw him.
"Missing my half-brother?" Inuyasha said.
Kagome whipped around, eyes wide. "You- you know about that?"
"Kagome you reek of him."
"I- I-."
"Don't bother," Inuyasha sighed. "I know it's not like I've been treating you very well. I can't be mad if you've found someone else."
"That's... very mature of you Inuyasha," Kagome said. She relaxed a little. To say she was surprised would have been an understatement.
"But SERIOUSLY Kagome, SESSHOMARU! I'll kill you!" Inuyasha launched at her. She knew he didn't mean it, yet she still shrieked and ran from him. She managed to evade him for about three seconds before he was right behind her. "Sit boy!"
Inyasha hit the ground. "That really adds injury to insult Kagome." His voice was muffled in the dirt.
"Sorry," Kagome helped him up. "You're really not mad?"
"No."
Kagome smiled and hugged him. "Thank you."
"Bleh, gross. It's like I'm hugging him when you stink so much like him." Inuyasha pushed her away gently.
"Sorry." Kagome picked up her bag. She'd been given Inuyasha's blessing... sort of. She grabbed her bag and headed towards Kaede's village.
Later that night she found Sesshomaru close to the village. She'd sensed him lingering for over an hour before she could slip away. She wasn't ready to tell the others yet.
He looked so good, leaning against a tree, bathed in moonlight.
When they'd started this whole thing there had only been confusion. And now she'd found love within the confusion. She was at his beck and call. Kagome hoped he'd have mercy on her.
"I missed you," Kagome didn't bother to wait for him to respond before she fell into his arms. She inhaled his scent and instantly felt more relaxed. She looked up at him. His yellow eyes bore into hers.
"I noticed your absence," Sesshomaru said. Kagome scoffed. She kissed the corner of his mouth, where his lips were upturned in a smirk. He turned his head so their lips met. Kagome melted into his embrace. Her lips moved over his in a desperate way, like someone might take this moment away from her.
She'd thought she'd have to tell him, to confess her love but by the way Sesshomaru grabbed onto her hips and held her to him, she knew he knew. The way they moved now was completely different. Kagome stripped until she was completely naked. Then she helped Seshomaru do the same. She pushed him down into the moss on the forest floor and her hands roamed over her chest. Kagome enjoyed every ridge of hard muscle. And she loved that she dominated him.
Sesshomaru stared up at her, his golden eyes never leaving hers. Kagome sunk down onto him and rode him until she came. He just watched her and Kagome had never felt so powerful.
Sesshomaru flipped the both of them over so he could finish on top of her. He collapsed onto her, panting and growling.
"That was..." Kagome breathed.
"Hn."
He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me.
[1] "Beck and Call – July Talk
Why do you want me today?
Is it because you think you're wonderful?
Am I fun to play?
Why do you want me today?
Is it because you think you're wonderful
or is it because you think you're worth less than nothing at all?
At your beck and call
We're not the first to fall
To feel unknown
Still we jump at your beck and call
What do you want me to say?
If you want me, I'll be waiting
If you don't, it's okay
Why did you come here today?
Do you really think there's something more to say or do you just need saving?
At your beck and call
We're not the first to fall
To feel unknown
Still we jump at your beck and call
(He loves me, she loves me not)
We're not the first to fall
(She loves me, she loves me not)
To feel alone
(He loves me, he loves me not)
To feel alone
(She loves me, she loves me not)
To feel unwanted
He loves me, he loves me not
She loves me, she loves me not
Blind love in dark bedrooms
Find love within confusion
At your beck and call
(He loves me, he loves me not)
We're not the first to fall
(She loves me, she loves me not)
To feel unknown, still we
(He loves me, she loves me not)
Jump at your beck and call
(He loves me, he loves me not)
We're not the first to fall
(She loves me, she loves me not)
To feel alone
(He loves me, he loves me not)
To feel alone
(She loves me, she loves me not)
To feel unwanted"
Hope you guys enjoyed that. I'll get back to zoo dairies soon. Happy Holidays!
My e-book/paperback The Priestess and the Yōkai by Lindsey Merril: www amazon com/dp/B07G74GWRK