Disclaimer: I will own Naruto when the world suddenly becomes overrun by youkai, and Sesshoumaru is their prince. Obviously, it's not happened, so neither have I owned Naruto.
Summary: It's just another day with the Akatsuki, who provide me with constant random comic relief. I hope they do the same to you. By the way, this is what happens when you're bored watching horror films. And, for your information, in my world, Naruto joins the Akatsuki, so he's here, and our resident troublesome teenager. He's 17 here.
Just Another Day With The Akatsuki
"Augh! What the heck did you do, Naruto?!"
Naruto let out a giggle at the yell, silently laughing from his position under a king-sized bed. That prank had been the absolute best: drench blue-skinned Kisame in black paint mixed with tar when he walked into the cafeteria!
"Naruto! I swear that when I get my hands on you, you'll be so dead!" Kisame, the always-hotheaded member, only raised his voice louder, causing it to ricochet throughout the whole Akatsuki compound.
Deidara paused in slurping his soup, before suddenly giving in to the urge to laugh like a madman at the shark man, who was currently dripping in black paint/tar in front of him.
Tobi didn't bother trying to hide it; he was holding his stomach, his face red, cackling at the picture in front of him.
"That kid is so dead!" Kisame growled, wincing when some paint made its way into his mouth.
"Calm down, Kisame. It's just a childish prank." Itachi's calm voice came from behind Kisame; he appeared to be the only one unaffected by the pretty picture Kisame made.
"B-but Itachi! How can you say that?! Look what your stupid pet did to me!"
Kisame was about to say more, but stopped himself when he was suddenly met with a furious, red-eyed Uchiha. He'd learned earlier to never mess with an angry Uchiha, and he'd never make that mistake again.
"That's right, un! It looks...it looks fine, un!" Deidara smiled, nodding; he'd finally gotten control over his giggles.
His lover, Sasori, who'd been sitting quietly the whole time, glanced up, taking in the newest prank of their youngest member. His lip twitched; a snort escaped.
Everyone looked at him as he suddenly started laughing, something they'd never expected from the usually calm and collected missing-nin.
After that, the others let loose, all laughing at the expense of their hotheaded friend. All except Kisame, who merely growled, shaking his head furiously.
"Ah, un! No! You're getting paint on me, un!" Deidara cried, hiding behind Sasori, who was shaking.
"That's what you get! Now face the wrath of my chakra-eating sword, you bastards!" Kisame shouted, drawing his sword from his back.
Even if it, too, was drenched in paint and tar, it still worked perfectly fine to shut up teasing members of the Akatsuki, none of which noticed Itachi quietly stealing out of the cafeteria.
"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Help me!!"
"Aaahhh, un! Stop it!"
"Naruto! You're going to pay for this!"
Naruto gulped at the loud screams that reached his ears, flinching. Crap. I didn't think he'd get that mad.
Yes, you did, Kit. That's why you did it. Kyuubi informed him, although he was cackling inside. He loved the pranks his little kit played.
"Shut up, Kyuubi." Naruto laughed, crawling out from under the bed.
"Now, Naruto, you shouldn't talk to your youkai like that." A deep voice chided, and Naruto looked up into warm black eyes. "Hi." Itachi smiled; a rare occurrence for him.
"Uh, hi! I guess Kisame was really mad, huh?" Naruto laughed nervously, doing his shifty eyes ability.
"Yes, but that's alright. I'll protect you."
Itachi suddenly picked Naruto off, carrying him off into the black abyss known as his room.
Oh, no! I don't know which is worse: Kisame's anger, or Itachi's protection!
Naruto wailed in his mind, clutching Itachi for dear life. They'd been together for over three years now, but Itachi had certain times where he scared even the Kyuubi container. Now would be one of those times.
"Godmother Deidara! Help meeeeee!" He wailed, clutching his love tighter.
Farther away, in a cafeteria, a bloodied mass twitched, letting out a groan.
"Sasori, un. My precious child Naruto seems to be in danger, un!" Deidara groaned, trying to drag himself out of a puddle of blood.
"...Itachi probably has just kidnapped him. Nothing to worry about." Sasori commented, hiding himself more in his robe.
"My poor, innocent Naruto, un!"
Sasori shifted, wincing in pain. "You know, he's really not that innocent, Dei."
Deidara didn't say anything for a while, conflicting emotions arising in him. Then, suddenly, another yell.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO, un! Itachi, you meanie, un! You corrupted my godson, un!"
Far away, Itachi chuckled darkly over the writhing mass that was Naruto. Yes, yes he did corrupt Naruto.
Heheheheheh.
"I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GUYS DON'T SHUT UP I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!"
Every single Akatsuki member sweat dropped; who knew Zetsu had such a loud voice. It was kind of creepy, and very scary.
Well, what'd ya think of my little humor there? Just a little bit of randomness that I just had to write. Um, please review; I'd be very happy if you do!
Ayame