Disclaimer: Irisis written for personal motivatation. No infringement on characters or situations is intended.

Note 1:When I was deciding whether or not to submit another story whilst having another one only vaguely started, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls was playing in the background. The words seemed fit how I pictured this fanfic progressing.

Note 2: Irisdoes not follow the plot development of NCIS, it's an AU story that might borrow characters and situations from the TV show. It is an exercise in creative writing and should be read as such

Current situation - - -

To Gibbs, it seemed that having aimlessly driven around the Washington DC area for the better part of the early evening, in fact had not been a pointless pursuit, instead it had brought him to a bar he knew Kate would be in. Whilst driving he realised the months he had observed Kate withdrawing into herself made sense – she was protecting herself; she didn't know how to deal with the situation she had been drawn into. Yet Gibbs was still angry at her, she had kept vital information from him and the rest of the team; information that could have made them better prepared, united, a force to be reckoned with. The new team motto could have been "Bring it on Ari – we're still going to kill you", but no she didn't tell the team Ari had been contacting her, she went to the FBI. Bloody Tobias Fornell knew before him, the smug bastard literally trilled to him that the current intelligence they had about Ari's whereabouts had come from an NCIS agent – HIS agent.

Gibbs parked and locked-up his car in the space beside Kate's car, he looked through her driver's side window; she had left her car unlocked and a large brown unopened envelope, addressed to her sat on the front passenger's seat. "Damn it Kate", seemingly Ari's return had unsettled her more than he had realised as basic self-protective strategies had been ignored; he walked to the bonnet and felt that it was stone cold, figuring she had been inside long enough to ensure that she would be in no fit state to drive home, he locked the car before walking to the entrance doors leading to the main bar-room.

Gibbs walked into the bar and looked around, he didn't see Kate sitting in the corner booth on his first survey of the room, but she had seen him and tried moving out of his line of sight, only to be caught in his peripheral vision. Having been caught, Kate quickly signalled to the waitress that she wanted a repeat drinks order and swallowed the rest of the liquid in her glass in one swift motion; the need to shore up her defences becoming much more imperative.

Gibbs stood still, critically appraising the state he had found his agent and literally couldn't breathe; in three years of knowing and working closely knowing her, he had never seen her so broken, not when cases become emotionally and physically challenging, or after he had stupidly ended a relationship between them before it even had the chance to begin. When Gibbs left that morning before Kate woke, he convinced himself he taking the right course of action for both of them – he was an honourable man, and this is what honourable men did. Except, a few hours later Gibbs realised what a rash and selfish thing he had done and it scared him to think of how much he would willingly give up to change what had happened. Gibbs had contemplated calling Kate to beg her forgiveness and ask for another chance, before he remembered he had granted her two weeks annual leave and her flight was due to depart soon. He had hoped Kate would reconsider going on holiday with her friends and come to him; instead she had left and acted like nothing had happened when she had returned. Gibbs had analysed, dissected and reflected on her behaviour after her return from holiday and realised she was behaving how she though he would want – pretend nothing had happened and therefore team dynamics would not be affected. Had he not been so caught up in the return of Jenny Shepherd as Director of NCIS he would have challenged Kate, put simply he would have fought tooth and nail to get her back. Instead, an uneasy calm had settled in their relationship and the inoperable damage had resulted in Kate hiding the truth to those people she was closest to.

Kate, having realised Gibbs had no intention of talking to her for a few moments thought back over the past couple of months. She and Gibbs had almost started something, they had acted on what she had at the time believed to be mutual desires, only to have woken up to the sight of him walking out of her bedroom. She had accepted at that moment she had only been a one-night stand to him and didn't call out to him, she waited for her front door to close before getting up, starting her morning routine and last minute preparations for a holiday during which this whole mess started. Kate had considered going to his house to talk to him on her way to the airport, but decided it would be a pointless pursuit; she knew Gibbs was a bastard but hadn't realised just how much of one he could be. Suddenly a baseball bat didn't seem like it would inflict sufficient physical damage to reflect the emotional anguish she was in. During her holiday, before the ill-fated initial contact from Ari, Kate decided that for her sake and Gibbs', she would act professionally on her return; she knew that a man like Gibbs would not appreciate any complications to the carefully constructed world he had created, plus she really did like working with the team. At that time, Kate didn't know if she would have been strong enough to deal with his rejection and the loss of people she really did consider family; unfortunately, due to her actions she had probably jeopardised the relationships she had built and nurtured with her friends.

Kate was drawn out of her self-reverie by the twin arrival of the waitress with her drink and Gibbs, he ordered two strong black coffees; when they arrived, he replaced Kate's alcohol with one of the coffees, and put the untouched glass on the waitress' tray; disregarding her quizzical look, he dismissed her from their presence with a glare and grunt to keep the change from the money he shoved in her hand. After wrapping his hands round the coffee cup and taking a gulp, Gibbs looked to Kate: "Explain"