Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
War Wounds
By: ChoCedric
As Harry Potter walked up the stairs to Gryffindor tower and the quiet and safety of the common room, he reflected on all that had happened. It was hard to believe the war was over; it hadn't all sunk in yet. He had seen countless people die, walked willingly to his death himself, come back, seen his Ginny almost die, seen Molly practically kill for her, and faced Voldemort all in a matter of hours.
And now, he thought to himself as the Fat Lady silently let him into the common room, it's all over. The burden had been lifted from his shoulders; the prophecy had finally been fulfilled. The fact that he could now have a normal life circulated around his brain, and it was a hard thought to chew on.
Harry had just sat down on one of the fluffy couches, remembering all the times that he and his faithful friends had spent here, when the portrait hole opened again. Harry really didn't want company; he wanted to spend some time in solitude, to just think about the ramifications of the war. But his heart constricted when he saw who it was that had entered the common room. It was her.
What he expected was for Ginny to run to him and embrace him, for that was what it had looked like she wanted to do when they were both in the Room of Requirement. But instead of doing so, she didn't even look at him, and proceeded to go to the couch which was the furthest possible distance from him.
Wondering if Ginny was somehow angry with him, Harry's heart grew heavy. Did she blame him for Fred's death? Because Harry definitely blamed himself. If only he'd gone to the forest earlier, given himself up earlier, Fred would not be inert and lifeless, the vestiges of his last laugh displayed on his face. There wouldn't be a horde of grief-stricken Weasleys gathered around him. It was all Harry's fault.
Knowing that he had to face Ginny's wrath sooner or later, he quietly walked over to the couch she was sitting on. "Gin?" he said gently.
Ginny didn't answer, but continued to stare into space, her eyes glazed over.
"Gin?" Harry repeated a little louder, putting a hand on Ginny's shoulder. To his horror, Ginny pulled away from him, and the briefest flicker of something played across her face.
"Gin, I'm so sorry ... for everything. Please talk to me," Harry begged, knowing for certain that the girl he loved was angry with him.
This was proved true when Ginny suddenly blanched, her face going a tomato red. "You want me to talk to you?" she said in a low, dangerous voice. "When you wouldn't bloody talk to me all year?"
"Gin, I ..." Harry started.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Ginny shrieked. "MY NAME IS GINNY, NOT "GIN!" I'm not just some alcoholic drink you can get your jollies from and then just leave!"
"Ginny, what are you on about?" asked Harry, shock coursing through him.
"I'll bloody tell you what I'm on about, you big wanker," Ginny yelled. "You wait till now to say you're sorry, when practically my whole family's been waiting for you to pay your respects to someone who thought of you like a brother, but instead you just walked away from the battle like it was nothing! You don't care, do you, that Fred's gone? All you care about is coming back here to brood! You are a selfish, egotistical prat, that's what you are!"
"Ginny, I ..." Harry tried again, feeling a lead weight settle in his heart. He honestly had no idea that this was how Ginny felt.
"LET ME FINISH, POTTER!" Ginny spat. "I've had it with you! I know you don't like crying girls, is that why you didn't come over to even offer me one iota of comfort? Just because I wasn't snogging material right then? Just because I was mourning my freaking brother?"
"Ginny!" Harry exclaimed. "That's not ..."
"Not true?" Ginny interrupted. "I've heard all about your experience with Cho Chang. That's why I've tried to be strong, to not cry in front of you, because I knew you'd run away like the prat you really are! Can you not think of anything besides your damn self?"
"Ginny, I had no idea ..." Harry mumbled, completely cowed. It was true; crying girls made him uncomfortable, not because he didn't care, but because he didn't know how to deal with them. Cho constantly talking about Cedric two years ago had made him feel completely guilty; he had had a major hand in the seventeen-year-old's death, and her mentioning it all the time only made the guilt grow bigger. Now he was going through the same thing with Ginny, and her words hit him like an axe to the gut.
"No idea that girls have tear ducts?" Ginny scoffed disgustedly. "Have you any idea how the last year has been for me, Harry? And as far as keeping me safe? Bah! You claimed that you wanted to keep me at Hogwarts because of my safety, but do you have any freaking idea what the Carrows did to me? Here!"
She pushed up the sleeves of her robes, and Harry, horrified, saw wounds on both of her arms, scars that would stay with her forever. "Oh, Merlin," he breathed. "Ginny, I'm so sorry."
"It's too late now," said Ginny flatly. "The damage has already been done." Angry tears filled her eyes, and Harry found it hard not to look away because of the sight of them. It was he, Harry, who had caused all this hurt, all this pain.
"Ginny, you've got to listen to me," Harry pleaded, trying his best to explain himself.
"No, you listen to me!" Ginny shouted, adrenaline coursing through her. "I don't have to listen to a word you have to say now! You had time to talk to me last summer! I'm the girl you "supposedly" love, but you wouldn't tell me any of your plans! All you did was tell Ron and Hermione! You think I'm nothing but a stupid little girl who can't take care of myself! You even talked to Neville freaking Longbottom before you went to give yourself up, he told me! And do you have any idea what it was like for me to see Hagrid bringing in what I thought was your DEAD BODY? Do you have any inkling of what that was like, to think I'd never see you again?"
"I heard you screaming my name," Harry said softly, sitting on the arm of the couch and feeling a huge knot constrict his soul.
"Yeah, and you just kept letting me think you were DEAD!" Ginny howled.
"I had to, Ginny!" Harry cried exasperatedly. "If I'd opened my eyes and sprung out of Hagrid's arms, it would all have been ruined! Voldemort would have probably decapitated me or something, to be sure I was really gone this time!"
"Don't you dare talk like that, Harry!" Ginny hollered. "I ..."
"Please, listen to me," Harry said, his voice getting desperate. "You think that walking to my death wasn't hard on me as well? Do you think it was an easy thing to do, knowing that I'd never see you again? It was the only way, Ginny, the only way to end this war once and for all. I couldn't talk to you, I just couldn't, because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to go through with my plan."
Ginny wasn't saying anything now, but was staring at Harry with a hard, blazing look in her bright brown eyes.
"And as to me not telling you all my plans," said Harry, "it's not because I think you're stupid and can't take care of yourself, or that I don't care about you. The fact is, I care too much for you. If Voldemort or his minions would have gotten a hold of you, it would have broken me, Ginny. I couldn't lose you, you're the person who completes me. It hurt me, it hurt me so much to keep all of my plans from you, but I had to do it to keep you safe, don't you understand?"
Ginny remained silent for a few more moments. Then, all her anger seemed to subside, and she said, "I just wish things could have been different."
"I know," Harry sighed. "And as to the crying girls thing, you have every right to call me a selfish prat. It's not that I didn't care about Cedric or Fred. I know Cedric and I hardly knew each other, but I felt so guilty about his death that it was hard for me to talk to anyone about it, let alone his heartbroken girlfriend. And Fred ... Ginny, Fred was like a brother to me, the same as I was to him. And I saw it happen and was able to do nothing to stop it. After the battle, I had to get away for a while. I wouldn't have been able to deal with all of your family's grief, knowing it's my fault."
"Harry," Ginny said, her voice softening a little. "Fred's death was not your fault. He knew the risks. He wanted to fight for you, and no one, not even Mum, could stop Fred from doing anything he had his heart set on. Please don't blame yourself for this. None of us, especially Fred, would want you to."
Harry looked into Ginny's eyes, and saw the truth in them. "It'll take some time," he admitted quietly.
"I know it will," Ginny told him. "I know it will."
"And do you know whose face I saw when I thought I was really going to die?" Harry asked softly, picking up Ginny's hand and holding it in his own. Ginny didn't pull away, but let him intertwine her fingers with his. "When Voldemort pointed his wand at me and said the killing curse, do you know who I thought of? Not Ron, not Hermione, not Dumbledore, not even Sirius. It was you."
All at once, Ginny's face crumpled, and she finally succumbed to tears. Even though Harry hated seeing any girl cry, let alone the girl he loved with all his heart, he vowed that he wouldn't make the same mistake he'd made with Cho. He pulled her into his arms, letting her lean against him and cry into his torn robes. "It's okay, Gin," he soothed her over and over again, and he realized she no longer minded him calling her that. He stroked her fiery red hair, knowing that the past year had been extremely hard on them both.
"I'm s-sorry," Ginny hiccuped when her sobs finally began to subside. "I know you d-didn't like that."
"Don't worry about it, Gin," Harry said gently. "I'm going to do my best to treat you better. You're absolutely right; you're allowed to cry when you want to. You shouldn't have to be strong just because I don't like it."
"Oh, Harry, you're such a prat," Ginny said, but this time she said it teasingly.
"I know," Harry said, smiling a little. "But I'm YOUR prat, right?"
"Yeah, that's right," Ginny chuckled. "I'm sorry I said all those things earlier, I didn't mean them."
"Even if you did, it'd be alright," Harry comforted. "I know this year's been very difficult for you. I'm really sorry that Hogwarts was such hell. I would have taken you with me, believe me, I would, but you wouldn't have been safe there either. To be honest, you probably wouldn't have been safe anywhere."
"I know," Ginny sighed, nuzzling his neck. "Harry, it's going to take a bit of time for me to trust you completely again, but I'm not saying it'll never happen."
"I realize that, and it's also going to take me a while to get over what's happened tonight," Harry confessed. "But I need you, Gin. You're the one thing that's kept me going all year. Did you know that at night, while I was keeping watch, I used to take out the Marauder's Map and stare at your dot for hours?"
"Really?" Ginny asked, raising her eyebrows. "And what was I doing?"
"You were often in the common room," Harry answered, kissing the scars on Ginny's arms. "Or sometimes I saw you in the Defense classroom. Were you in detention?" he asked gently.
"Yeah," Ginny admitted. "Once, Amycus Carrow told me to practice the Cruciatus Curse on Ernie McMillan. I wouldn't do it, so I was punished."
"Oh, Ginny," Harry said sadly. "I'm so terribly sorry. But you're a very brave young woman, standing up to him like that."
"I learned from the best," said Ginny proudly, squeezing Harry's hand. "Tell you what," she then said. "I'll tell you all about my year if you tell me all about yours."
So for the next few hours, Harry and Ginny shared their exploits from their year apart, and as they poured out their souls to each other, they felt more and more content. The weight of Fred's death was still heavy on their hearts, and Harry's near-death was also on their minds. But as they snuggled into one another and smelled the familiar scents of warmth and love, they knew everything would be alright. There were wounds, but they weren't too deep to heal.
And when Hermione and the Weasleys found them later that night, asleep in each other's arms, they smiled and let out sighs of relief.
All was well.