Disclaimer: Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love is owned by DC Comics.
This is a parody of shows like Dark Shadows, and it's based on an old anthology series DC Comics published during the 1970s entitled Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love, which after four issues was renamed Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion. The series was made up of gothic horror stories, following other such titles as Ghosts and Witching Hour. While I've never actually read the series, I'm still looking for a first issue that's both readable and not twenty dollars, I came up with this as a spur of the moment. I might do more, I don't know. Those of you who watch Pepper Ann might know the reference I'm making.
During our last installment of Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love, THE MOON SHONE RED ON MY RED HOT POKER. conjoined sisters Charmaine and Camonella took their revenge on the dreaded alien-plant-people family, the -Ryans, for their parts in the death of their forbidden love, werewolf Yensington McSwingt, heir to McSwingt Steakhouse Fortune and husband of That Which We Avert Our Gaze From, in a showdown in the burning mansion of Old Lady Groober (who STILL won't buy any of your crazy magnets!). And tonight, on Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love…
HE CHOSE BRAINS OVER ME!
Lynissa: I love you, but it is forbidden for me to admit my feelings and how I really feel!
Henry: Really?
Lynissa: Really!
Henry: Hush, my pet, and kiss me with your lips of passion!
Lynissa: You know just what to tell me. W-wait, what is this? Your nose, it's fallen off.
Henry: Oh! That's…nothing! A little rest and I'll be as good as new.
Lynissa: But, your ears, they have fallen off as well!
Henry: That, that was an old wound I got in the war!
Lynissa: And your eyes, and your mouth, and your forehead! Why, you're a zombie, aren't you?!
Henry: Don't talk such braaaaains foolishness my darling.
Lynissa: I can't love a man who won't admit that he is a zombie!
Henry: I am every bit the man who you brainssss fell in love with!
Lynissa: Oh, you are right. Hold me! Hold me and never let me go with your mighty arms of everlasting love!
Henry: I would, except…
Lynissa: Except?
Henry: My arms have fallen off.
Lynissa: Oh, Henry!
Henry: Lynissa!
Lynissa: Henry!
Henry: Braaaaaaaaa-
Henry's jaw falls off.
Tune in Next Time, For…KISS OF THE SEA WOLF ON THE NAZI DEATH SHIP
(Or not, I don't know if I'm coming back after this)