NECROPHILIA

AN OEDIPUS COMPLEX

KAMIKAZE PILOTS

There was a dramatic blow of wind, followed by the crashing of thunder as a tropical storm blew in from the south. People seeked shelter, one after another hiding in their bathrooms or storm shelters. The world seemed to be flipping upside down. Everything was wrong. Like the Bible said, the world was coming to an end. Jesus! Jesus Christ was going to judge everyone! Each country was hit with horrible storms. Thousands, no, MILLIONS died within the first few hours.

While this happened, a World Meeting was held. Only the main Axis Powers and Allied Forces were there. Everyone else was hiding in their homes. Germany stood at the head of the long, round table. Every nation in one way or another was jostled and/or in pain. The blonde man coughed lightly into his arm. He had no paperwork prepared for the meeting. Everything was so abrupt that there was little to do with preparation in general. "Everyone, please calm down. This is very serious!" Even he was having trouble keeping his cool.

Italy was crying, and Japan was trying to comfort him. France was trying to look strong and remain calm, but he was very clearly shivering. England was bruising, as was Japan. The island nations were really taking heavy blows. China seemed more to himself than usual, and wore a heavy scowl. Russia hid the bottom of his face with a scarf, his arms wrapping around himself. America, aside for a cramp here or there, seemed serious, but also excited. He clearly wanted to save the world.

Germany continued with, "I'm glad all of you are still alive. Right now we must discuss how to save the world from infinite destruction. I won't bother with time limits. Just no interruptions. We need all the ideas we can get. Any ideas? Raise your hands."

America raised his hand and before Germany could formally recognize him, he said loudly, "I don't even know what the hell is happening, dude, but I have a great idea! We should build a giant storm shelter that can shield everyone from the end of the world and then we can fly on a big space ship onto mars and I have NASA so I'll be the hero! Everyone can help."

England scowled, face-palming and making a bruise on his forehead even worse. "Really? THAT'S the best idea you can come up with? For god's sake, the world is ending and you suggest making something impossible!"

"Why are you the hero?" Russia asked, speaking up quietly. "I have an idea. Why don't we kill God?"

"No! You can't do that!" Italy shouted, wiping away his tears. He angrily pointed at Russia, fear seeming to dissipate. "This is judgement day! If you suggest something so awful as to get on God's bad side, all your people will end up dead. Why don't we go see if the pope has any suggestions, si?"

"If it is judgement day, then God is the enemy, da?" Russia looked at the Italian, his face darkening. Italy sat back in his seat, lips quivering.

"We are fighting again." France frowned. "This is not the time."

Germany sighed. "Any logical ideas?"

"I'm leaving." Italy sniffed, standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home to be with my fratello. Maybe I'll talk to the pope and pray one last time? I don't know. I just don't know what to do and being here isn't helping anything."

Germany was about to say something, but Italy was already out the door.

England stood up. "He's going to get himself killed in that storm. Why don't you go after him?"

Just then the lights in the building went out. Everything was pitch black. No one could see anything. "Well that's just great-aru!" China whined.

*.*.*

Italy, while walking teary-eyed in the hallway, panicked when the lights went out. He wondered, Maybe I should go back to Germany? but then realized he wouldn't be able to find the door into the meeting room, so he sat in the hallway and waited. And he waited, and waited for the light to turn back on, and they didn't, so he started to freak out.

"We're all God's children, right? So should we even be scared?" Sure a ton of his people included had already died, but the pasta lover wished for some kindness in the world, some safety to put his mind off things. "Judgement day sure came fast. I've been an honest man. I go to church and pray. I'm pals with the pope. Romano is too, so he's safe. Si, we're both safe."

He heard a loud crashing noise, like a window shattering from down the hallway. He got onto his knees and began to pray. "Dear God, please forgive me on my si- HOLY CRAPOLA!"

A glowing woman all in white and blue appeared in front of him, startling the Mediterranean nation. "I am Mary." She smiled sweetly. "I am the mother of Jesus Christ."

"Wow!" Italy's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Really."

"Mother of Christ is mother of god, so you're everyone's mother! That's so cool~"

Mary blushed. "Thanks."

Suddenly everything was awkward. There was a real Oedipus complex going on, because Mary was smoking. She was 16 or 14, but she was hot as hell. Italy wasn't sure what to think of this. "What made you decide to come here, Holy Mother?"

"God had a message to give you. He wanted me to come give it to you. I don't know why."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"That's what he said when he got me pregnant." Mary scoffed, pulling a note out from the inside of her robes. "Check out this shit."

Italy blinked at her swearing and then took the note. It glowed too, so he could read it when he opened it. He blinked again, trying to read the horrible handwriting. The note said:

' So hey, this is God. Yeah, you talk to me often, but here's the thing, your pope is full of crap. You don't need a pope to talk to me, cause I'm here for you, son.

So you may have noticed the world is ending. Guess what; it's not judgement day. I'm not even mad. I'm really a chill guy. Hell isn't real either, btw. Your life is a lie. lol

I've decided it's about time I make you countries do some work. I'm going to curse you Axis and Allies with children, because kids are the opposite of war. You're going to learn to be responsible, like terrorists, and take charge of your lives and others. You're all gonna get little girls, your children, and they'll be your daughters because I say so, and they'll also be the countries you all are, the ones that you get. In three days they will arrive.

PS. idk about the storm. It looks like everything's just going to crap in your world. Well, I'll fix it tomorrow. I have to rest at least a day after writing this long, well explained and explainable letter.

And btw, I think there are vampires in your world too that come out every hundred years to feast on people's blood. You should watch out for those.

See you later,

God. '

The lights turned back on and Mary disappeared, the note disintegrating in Italy's hands. He was silent for a moment. "Um…" He stood up and walked back to the meeting room.

"What just happened?" Japan asked, looking over at his friend who walked back into the room.

Italy lifted his hands, which were covered in the note's ashes. "I was visited by the virgin mother Mary." He said weakly, "There is no hell. It's not judgement day. My life is a lie."

"That's good." America laughed heartily. "I was worried that the Kamikaze Pilots chose to target this meeting place instead of warships!"

"Could you not?" Japan asked irritably.

Someone was missing. They all could tell. France finally pointed it out, somewhat worriedly. "Where's England?" They all looked around. The Brit was nowhere to be seen.

*.*.*

England had snuck out just as the lights turned back on. Now England walked outside in the rain. By now, there were hurricane conditions. "Oh God this is horrible." He held an umbrella over his head, which didn't help much. He had sensed something in the distance, something dark and deadly. He was walking to a cemetery.

There was moaning coming from inside the mausoleum. "What the bloody hell is that?" he asked himself, narrowing his eyebrows. He carefully opened the mausoleum door, dropping the umbrella to his side, which was harder than it looked. "Is someone in here? Are you okay?"

He opened the door and didn't see anyone. He heard more moaning from just down the cold, rocky, slippery steps. The place was dark, but he had his camera light to guide him. "Hello?" Behind him the mausoleum door closed. He startled, turning back and slipping in the process, falling down the stairs.

He landed at the bottom of the winding staircase with a 'boom'. He was flat on his back, rubbing his head. He bruised more easily since the storm started, so that didn't help his aching limbs. A low, growling noise came from his right, echoing throughout the chambers. He couldn't see what was there because the fall had broken his phone, which also fell into a puddle in the mausoleum, which then died.

England went silent, trying to sit up, which hurt. A hand suddenly went around his mouth, and one hand on his chest, pushing him back onto the cold floor roughly. He felt someone get on top of him; a man. "Let go of me!" England yelled, punching the stranger in the mouth. He felt his hand get punctured by two sharp teeth. He sensed death again. "Oh, you're a vampire." he said, mostly to himself. He wanted to get out of there.

The man hissed, "Yes." and then reached and grabbed England's wrists, holding them over his head. The monster bent down and licked England's lips as the nation struggled to break out of the man's incredibly strong grasp. It was like reverse necrophilia.