Rating: T+
Warning: Eggnog abuse, redhead abuse, and some mildly dirty mouthed exorcists
Pairings: NONE (or atleast, I didn't mean for there to be, but we do have some partners in crime)
Day One
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHRISTMAS IS ONLY A WEEK AWAY?!"
Supervisor Komui dropped his coffee mug in surprise, sending it crashing to the ground, the brown liquid soaking the papers on the floor, making them stick to the porcelain shards. Staring in amazement, he watched Reever clean his ears acting like he didn't give a crap just how close Christmas was. Hopping over the broken container, he dashed across his office. Grabbing the other man by the collar of his shirt, he shook him, dramatic tears streaming down his face as he wailed.
"WHY?! Why couldn't you have said something sooner?! We're nothing near ready for the holidays!"
Sighing, he waited for the Chinese male to stop joggling his brain. His supervisor was a loony (this anyone would tell you) and really needed to go audition for the stage, with no doubt his dramatics would blow away the judges. He never knew when the man would be serious and attentive or suddenly burst into total fruitcakey-ness. When Komui Li was like this, the only thing he knew to do was give the crazy, caffeine-hyped official his ideas and let him take credit for them.
"So, why don't we make everyone some cute costumes and force them to help us decorate? It will go much faster that was as well."
Instantly, his eyes lit up as he stuck his tongue out in mock concentration. He had to admit that his subordinate was actually really helpful sometimes. Slowly, silly little images began to form in his mind, everything from redheaded elves to dressing Allen and Bookman up like snowmen, even an angry Japanese reindeer popped into his head. Oh! I know, we'll even invite the Noah on a week-long truce! Grinning, he nearly bit himself in his holiday-induced glee. Patting the un-enthused Wenham on the shoulder, he gave him a thumbs up before skipping off.
"Go tell everyone in the department to drop what they're doing and start making costumes!"
Day Three
"NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY!!"
He tossed the reindeer outfit to the ground, going to stomp on it but stopping only at the horribly sad expression the redhead wore. Changing his position slightly, Kanda socked the Bookman heir in the arm. His indignant expression growing as the other just laughed, rubbing the his arm at the pain.
"STOP LAUGHING SO DAMN EASILY BAKA-USAGI!"
Lavi finished buttoning up the bright green shirt after the pain subsided. Actually, he didn't mind the pointy shoes… Or the tight, eh, tights… The shade of green and the red frilled edging going well with the crimson of his mane. Smiling evilly, he nodded his head at the raven-haired male, liking the way the bell at the tip of his hat jingled with every decline of his skull. Motioning for the Allen to cross the room and help him, he grabbed one of the Asian's arms, holding tightly so he couldn't wiggle out. When the boy got a hold of the other arm, he happily announced his plan in a tone that just pissed their victim off to no end.
"We'll help you put it on, Yuu-chan!"
Struggling, he threatened the lives of his two companions as they re-dressed him in the costume. Kanda ground his teeth together, restraining himself as they laughed, strapping the horns to his head and the red bulb to his nose. The flashes that emanated from the light blinded him temporarily, causing him to put his (now) free hands over his eyes, yelling in displeasure.
Grinning, he held a bit of fabric out for his partner-in-crime to see while the Japanese male was blinded. Hearing the redhead snicker, Allen waved it around happily finally having answered the question everyone wanted to know.
"Do I want to know what that is?"
He pointed a gloved finger at the cloth in the blue-eyed boy's hand. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he slapped it, not wanting to hear what his brother had to say. Redirecting an elegant, cocked eyebrow at the pair with the white twist of something being waved around like a truce flag. If not for his curiosity about the object, he'd most likely be unable to ignore the silly outfit the samurai-like exorcist was wearing. The eye-patch wearing boy gave him a once over before coming over to greet his little party of three.
"Oh, hello Tykki! By the way, that is Fundoshi. Rhode, and… Um?"
The Noah glanced at his niece, who had dashed across the room, joining her object of affection in laughing at the poor man in the Rudolf costume. Tykki grimaced, un-amused by the fact that he was left to introduce his brother despite their prior agreement. Gesturing at the older male, he attempted to clear the lump that formed in his throat.
"This is… Sherrill."
He shook the junior Bookman's hand before bowing lightly towards the other two innocence user's. Turning toward his sibling, he stuck his lower lip out in a pout, willing tears to come to his eyes as he flung himself at him. He fell flat on his face to the checker-patterned tile floor, having been swiftly dodged. Rubbing his nose, he sat up, being sure to put his fist by his chin, covering most of his mouth in a pose that they assumed he thought was cute.
"Oh, why must you abuse me so little brother?"
He ignored the idiot the best he could, unable however to keep his eyes off of the man he (now) assumed to be a moron. Watching the Lavi extend his hand toward Sherrill, he rolled his eye at the pause the dark haired man created, obviously enjoying his view. He'll ruin the plan if he stares at those, eh, tights too long. Seeing his sibling brush himself off and thank the exorcist, he began to wonder if he should pray that they don't "team up" and run a complete muck through the rest of the week.
"Oh, since you three are here… You should go get sized by Johnny! Be warned, he's expecting two women and a man instead of your group. Why didn't Lulubell come?"
"She wished to stay behind and keep the Earl company while we're here."
Sure, the story may have come out of his ass but did they really need to know that she was actually perched on the rooftop?
Day Five
"Aaaallleeeennn!"
He continued to run as fast as he could, cutting quick corners and using every trick he knew to loose the pair of lunatics that chased him through the corridors. There wasn't a way in Hell they were getting him to put on that retarded snowman costume! It just wasn't happening! He'd seen the way one looked on Bookman and swore then and there to avoid them at all costs, even if it meant running from and trying to kill Lavi and his new best friend of a Noah. Turning, he ran straight into Marie, falling backwards onto his ass. The man had been dressed in a Santa costume, carrying his large load (which they'd put in a bag, ho ho) with some difficulty due to his missing fingers. He stopped examining the man when he realized three seconds too late that his hunters had caught him sitting on the job.
"Ah, thanks Marie!"
Sherrill and Lavi hoisted Allen up by his arms, dragging him off, both whistling the same terrifying tune. His cries were in vain, the sound drowned out by the rustling of packages and the people bustling around. There was a constant, echoing noise of bells as they jingled out of synch with each other, the Science Department having found an excuse to work at least one into every outfit. "If there's anything I hate more than Christmas, it's ELVES!" He entertained the thought of beating his captors senseless once the holiday was over, but alas, he most likely wouldn't be seeing the Noah for a very long time.
"We all have to be in costume Allen, you know you can't get out of it."
He huffed out his denial at that statement. He could have gotten away with it if these two hadn't have been made the head elves by the Santas. Cross, Komui, Tiedoll, and Marie were going to get it, he swore on his false carrot nose. Oh how he'd rather of gotten to run around in sheets and fake angel wings like Rhode, Bak, and Link or even a reindeer costume would've been better than this large, puffy white thing.
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Komui went through his list of very pissed off reindeer, calling them by their character names instead of their real ones.
"Dasher!"
"Oi!"
Timothy ran to start the line on the other end of the room. The antler strapped over his innocence made him twitch with displeasure, earning him several scoldings from the Santas.
"Dancer!"
"Present."
Rolling his golden eyes, the Noah went to go stand next to the small child. Pain seared in different parts of his head as the antlers pulled on his long black tresses.
"Prancer!"
"Here!"
Lou Fa ran over to the two men before her, tripping and nearly falling flat on her face in her embarrassment of almost forgetting her reindeer name.
"Vixen!"
Fou huffed out her reply, grumbling as she kicked a couple of idiots out of her way to get to her assigned spot.
"Comet!"
"Present."
Llevier marched over to the group. His posture was perfect as he stood in the line, making the afore mentioned look like slobs.
"Cupid!"
"Right…"
Reever pulled his hands out of his pockets that had been fiddling with a few gadgets of his. He let himself be pushed over into the line by the muscle bound Zokalo (a.k.a: Donner).
"Blitzen!"
"Ack!"
Choaji Han stumbled forward, hitting the ground as his name was called. His fellow victims glared at him, as always, he was holding someone back. The swift kick in the ass he got from Cross Marian's boot had him up in a jolt and his best ever attentiveness.
"You will all remember your names for when you're called! We will have absolutely NO SCREWUPS! I'll feed you to that fucking tawdry porker myself if you so much as BLINK the wrong way!"
Komui, Froi, and Marie just shrugged off the pleading looks everyone sent in their direction, everyone but the very unwise pair of Tykki Mikk and Zokalo Winters.
Day Seven: Christmas
The elves all toasted at the table when the unwilling ornament hung himself, along with the star, on the giant Christmas tree Hevlaska had helped him decorate earlier. Krory cried out hoping someone would get him down as he tugged on the end of his cape that had gotten caught on one of the fake evergreen branches. Everyone laughed in at the poor blonde angels had to go get him down, showing everyone just what was up their togas about half way up the ladder.
An eggnog drinking contest was held, two representatives from each group (forced into participating) faced off in a battle of the 'please don't let me up chuck in front of everyone'.
Cross glared at blond across the table from him, attempting to intimidate the Asian Branch head, who was already broken out into terrible hives as it was. Grinning like an idiot, Sherrill waved at the boy with white mane from down the table, the boy already looking sick with out the eye-patch wearing moron making gagging sounds behind him. Bookman didn't even bother to take his eyes off his glass to look at the dotted, long haired servant of Llevier's. Johnny and Miranda blushed at each other from over the edges of their nog, neither feeling that well. Froi smiled weakly at his fellow general, who had to leave her monkey behind for a fear of cheating. Chaoji slid a look over at the short haired Asian guardian who wasn't the most pleased with the stench of her drink.
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Two hours later…
"MY GOD WOMAN!"
Cross looked down in his lap where the blonde woman had spewed, complete disgust all that showed on his face as the other three laughed passed their glasses at him. Everything grew dark as he deeply inhaled the scent, the last remaining objects in his sight spinning as he passed out backwards off of the bench, splashing the last of his drink to soak in the wood.
Sherrill shot a thumbs up at his redheaded partner that was being beaten to death by Tykki and Kanda for just not 'STOPPING THE DAMN VOMITTING NOISES', his distraction had helped get rid of at least five of the competitors. Watching the man down a few spaces on the bench, he saw the Bookman lean his head against his wrist, the empty glass slipping from his hand as he became unconscious. Feeling quite queasy and tired himself, he slid a quick glance at the only remaining opponent. The spiky-haired male didn't looked phased, though his face was a bit flushed and his large fingers cracked the cup as he sipped the eggnog slowly.
"Hmm… You're pretty good."
"T-thanks."
Shocked, his eyes widened as he saw that the redness of the man's face was merely because he was blushing. His gut must… Must be like… Iron. The contents of his glass began to twist in front of his eyes, his vision growing dim. He welcomed the darkness, a sigh of happiness escaping him as he laid his head on the table.
"Ah. I can take it no longer."
That dumbass! He wasn't supposed to pass out! Shaking his head, he let go of the hair he'd fisted when forcing the Bookman heir's head against the wall. Our plan didn't count on this… Straightening himself out, he brushed a bit of debris off of his brown reindeer suit. Flashing the signal, he waited for Rhode and Lulubell to come crashing down on his little bit of merry making.
Minutes passed and still nothing happened, he moved to signal again but saw that his niece was fast asleep, leaning against one of the boxes beneath the tree. Sighing he shook his head, but instead of feeling disappointed, he was glad they didn't have to ruin this occasion for everyone.
"We're leaving, thank you all for your hospitality."
"Please take these with you… I hope we spelled your names right."
He bowed to Komui, who handed him some a bag filled with different sized boxes. Sickeningly warm fuzzy feelings invaded his stomach as he thought about how much fun he'd had despite being ordered around and annoyed to the brink of insanity. He smiled to himself, calling the ark to open up in the large dining room. Slowly dragging his passed out brother, he threw the man into the ark, going to get Rhode and the cat that was perched in her lap. Smiling once more, he tossed a box to Lavi before stepping into the portal.
"That's my payment for troubling you."
The conscious members of the Black Order waved at the departing Noah, large smiles on their faces calling out before the ark could close and disappear.
"Merry Christmas!"
A/N: I kept it all in one chapter instead of a few mini chapters because of the hassle it is to seperate them later on different websites (Sorry!) so if it's hard to understand what's going on between the odd days, that might be why. I left days two, four, and six out of the week ON PURPOSE! So no asking about it. Merry Christmas, late Happy Yule, Happy Kwanza, and whatever else I'm missing/missed.