Author's Note: Hi there! I'm new to the whole epic Naruto fandom and this is my first fan fiction from this archive, so my apologies in advance for any mistakes and such. This is just a humorous little one-shot but I worked pretty hard on it. And oh yeah I tried to get a blend of the English and Japanese versions, but I don't really know why. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it :D
Obsession Of An Avenger
"Oh man, why do we have to do this stinking mission, dattebayo?"
Kakashi sighed witheringly. "Because you were told to. You want to be a great ninja, don't you Naruto?"
"Well, yeah, of course I do" the blond-haired boy replied, nodding his head enthusiastically.
"Then get to it" Kakashi said, tossing him a wicker basket. Naruto clumsily snatched it from the air and glared into the empty bottom, muttering under his breath.
Team 7 and their sensei had been assigned a simple D-Ranked mission that day. They were standing in the shade of a rustic farm at the edge of Konohagakure, with chickens pecking at the dust at their feet and the old farmer's wife sweeping the porch of the house nearby. Behind the farm and down a gentle slope, a vast plantation stretched out as far as the eye could see (unless you had the Byakugan, of course), the vivid green of fresh harvest melting into the horizon and brushing the cerulean sky. Naruto shaded his eyes against the glare of the sun and squinted ahead. In the ocean of swaying crop, he could pick out clusters of tiny specks of red – tomatoes. It was these juicy fruits that he and his team had been told to help gather for the farmer. It would have been a simple task if it wasn't that the field was ridiculously big. Even if he created an army of kage bunshins, Naruto reasoned that it would take until nightfall to complete the mission.
"We'll be here all day!" Naruto protested. "And I have training to do and ramen to eat!"
"Stop complaining, Naruto" Sakura scolded him, clutching her own basket. But secretly she suppressed a weary sigh as she scanned the field. Naruto was right: they would be here all day.
Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and regarded the field with a stoic glare. This was pointless, a waste of time. He was an avenger, damn it – he wanted to know how to fight to the best of his ability, not pick fruit. When he faced Itachi-san one day he doubted throwing a tomato at his older brother's face would kill him.
"OK, Team, let's get to it" Kakashi said, walking off in the opposite direction.
"Hey Kakashi-sensei," Sakura called after him. "Aren't you going to help us?"
"I am helping you" the jounin replied, turning around and smiling with his one visible eye. He held up his prized copy of the latest Icha Icha Paradise, its vivid blue cover depicting a woman kicking an unfortunate guy between the legs. "I'll be observing your work. From far away, of course."
All the genin's shoulders sagged.
"Yeah, right, more like taking the easy option out of manual labour" Naruto grumbled.
"Good luck" the silver-haired jounin said, and in a flash he disappeared.
"Come on," Sasuke murmured. "The sooner we finish this, the quicker we can get out of here."
"You're totally right, Sasuke-kun" Sakura beamed, but he ignored her compliments as usual and carried on walking down the slope.
"You wanna work with me, Sakura-chan?" Naruto offered, his wide blue eyes hopeful.
"Sure, whatever" Sakura sighed resignedly, glancing down sadly into her empty basket as Naruto walked alongside her with an overly-cheerful spring in his step.
A few moments later, they were surrounded by a sea of sun-drenched, green plants brushing their waists. Huge bundles of swollen tomatoes clung to thick stalks, their thick red skins shiny and smooth in the sunshine.
"Wow, these are the biggest tomatoes I've ever seen!" Naruto exclaimed, hunkering down to examine one.
"Yeah, you're right," Sakura nodded in agreement. "I wonder if there's something in the soil here that makes them grow so big." She glanced down at the dusty ground at her feet.
A neat snap made both their heads swivel around. Sasuke was standing not too far away from them. He gently tugged the fruit from the vine and tossed it into his basket, which was already half full. Naruto stared at his team mate in surprise: he was almost done and they'd only been here for a couple of seconds! And what's more, Sasuke had a weird look about him. His onyx eyes were almost painfully focused on the next fruit target, his jaw clenched in determination, his hands trembling ever so slightly as he reached out to seize the next tomato.
Naruto frowned and turned away. There was no way Sasuke was going to beat him this time. Sure, it was a dumb mission but it was a mission nonetheless. Sasuke was always better at him at everything and Naruto was always left humiliated. But not this time. No, this time Naruto was going to prove that he was just as good – no better! – than his team mate!
"Alright," Naruto growled, pushing up his orange sleeves. "I'll get this done in no time, dattebayo!"
Sakura pushed her soft pink hair out of her face and sighed. She couldn't understand the deep competition between her fellow team members. Why was everything a contest to be the best all the tine? And who exactly were they trying to impress?
Naruto grinned as he reached out for a particularly large and ripe tomato. He could see his own reflection in its moist crimson flesh. He pulled it sharply, but it refused to let go. He jerked it again and again but it wouldn't move.
"What the heck is wrong with this thing, 'ttebayo?" he growled.
"Come here, baka," Sakura said, leaning over to his side. "You do it like this, see?" She twisted it to one side and swiftly yanked down, and with a satisfying snap it fell free from the stem.
"Ah, thanks" Naruto said. He took the fruit from Sakura and popped into his basket. One down, about a couple of hundred to go.
As soon as Naruto clasped his fingers around the next tomato, he knew something wasn't right. It was squishy and had little resistance under his touch, and suddenly the fruit exploded in his face.
With an astonished gasp he stood staring at where the tomato had been a moment before. He blinked and stared down at his hand, which was covered with strips of wet red mush. The mush was also splattered over his whiskered cheeks and in his hair.
Sakura bit her lower lip to smother a laugh as she watched Naruto wipe the muck off him in disgust.
Sasuke glanced up from his work and scowled in disdain. "Loser" he muttered softly.
Naruto snarled and glared at the tomato plant as if it were an enemy ninja. "That's it, you've asked for it!"
He lunged at the nearest tomato and ripped it from the stalk, but the exact same thing happened and once more he was adorned with tomato flesh and juice. Again and again he attacked the poor plant but each tomato ended up in tatters.
"Naruto! You're destroying them all!" Sakura said, smacking him around the back of the head. "You're supposed to do it gently!"
Naruto huffed and turned back to Sasuke to see his progress. His eyes widened: his basket was full to the brim! And now Sasuke was standing up and about to walk back to the farm with his harvest. Naruto could have sworn he saw a slight smirk on his lips.
"Stupid Sasuke-teme," Naruto scowled. "I'll beat you, believe it!"
Team 7 were there for a long time. As the sun rose to its zenith in the stark blue sky, the intensity of the heat tripled and beat down an unbearable wave of fire. The ground turned hard and crumbled instantly, and the moisture in the mud seemed to evaporated before your eyes.
Naruto tugged at the thick white collar of his jacket, feeling a bead of sweat dribble down the curve of his flushed neck. His blond hair had darkened where it had been drenched with perspiration, and it was messier than ever with the addition of twigs and leaves decorating his spiky locks. He panted and ran his sandpaper-like tongue over his cracked lips, his throat begging for water. Too bad he'd already drunken it all. He moaned with fatigue and swiped off the sheen of sweat from his dirt-streaked forehead and rolled up his sleeves, reluctantly getting to work again.
"Man, who'd have thought it would be this hard, 'ttebayo?" he said to himself.
He looked up to see Sakura returning, just as weary and dirty as he was. She'd delivered 15 basketfuls already. Naruto had achieved pitifully less – only three basketfuls. And he was not happy about it at all. He was in an even fouler mood when it turned out that Sasuke had collected countless bucket loads of tomatoes.
Naruto froze halfway through pulling a fruit from its vine.
"What is it?" Sakura asked in wonder.
"Where'd Sasuke-teme go?" Naruto said, scratching his head.
Sakura blinked in surprise. "You're right! Where is he?"
They'd not seen sight or sound of Sasuke for at least half an hour. He had just vanished, swallowed up by the plantation.
Naruto dropped his basket and started walking off in the opposite direction.
"Hey, where are you going?" Sakura asked.
"To go find Sasuke-teme," Naruto replied. "You help too, Sakura-chan."
After a hesitation, Sakura too left her basket and began weaving through the tomato vines in search of the young ninja.
Sakura had scoured most of the field when she thought of giving up. The first twinges of concern nagged at her. Was he alright? Was he in trouble? Had he been captured by enemy ninja? She scolded herself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts, but there was always the chance…
No, Sasuke had probably got lost. That must be it.
When Sakura rounded the next line of plants, that was when she heard it.
She froze, alarmed and confused. She strained her ears.
It was an odd, gulping, slurping, snorting sound. She frowned. What on earth would make such a disgusting noise?
She ducked down low, the plant leaves obscuring her actions, and sneaked forward. As she edged towards the source of the mysterious sound, an outline appeared through the foliage. She stopped and carefully brushed the leaves aside.
She stiffened and stared.
"What the…?"
She almost shrieked in alarm when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"There you are Sakura-chan!" Naruto beamed. "I-"
"Shut up and get down, baka!" she hissed, grabbing his collar and tugging him down.
"Hey, what's the big idea, Sa-?" he began to protest. The rest of his sentence was cut off when Sakura clamped a hand around his big mouth.
"What part of shut up don't you understand?" she whispered angrily. "You don't want him to hear us!"
Naruto frowned and pulled her hand off him. "What's going on?" he asked, a lot more quietly than before.
Sakura's lips twisted strangely, as if she was confused and embarrassed and trying to contain a laugh at once. Silently, she pulled the leaves apart and pointed ahead. Naruto followed her gaze. His mouth opened and one eyebrow rose.
A few feet away, there was a clearing in the rows of plants. A hoard of dozens of buckets littered the grassy area, some stuffed full of bloated red tomatoes, others empty and tossed aside. And sitting in the middle of the ring of baskets, with his back to them, was a young boy in a dark blue T-shirt with a high collar.
It was difficult to tell from the angle what Sasuke was doing, but it was clear the awful sounds were coming from him.
"What the hell is Sasuke doing?" Naruto asked quizzically, his voice a little too loud.
The two hidden ninja quickly ducked down when Sasuke's back straightened. They saw him tilt his head to one side, his long black hair concealing his face. After a long moment, Sasuke turned around again and the freaky noises resumed.
Sakura turned to face Naruto. "I – I don't know" she whispered.
"I'm going in for a better look" Naruto said.
"No, wait!" Sakura said, but it was too late.
Naruto stood up and tripped over a root, and with a yelp he tumbled over and through the leaves, rolling to a stop beside Sasuke's behind. Sasuke leapt to his feet and spun around in one graceful movement, whipping out a kunai. Naruto glanced up. In one hand, Sasuke held a kunai, and in the other…
Naruto looked at Sasuke's face and exploded into laughter.
Sasuke's cheeks were comically swollen and round like when a hamster's mouth his full of nuts, but in this case it was full of tomatoes. Watery red juice dribbled down his chin and down his stained fingers. He clutched a half-eaten fruit in his other hand, which had large chunks ripped greedily of it. The whole sight was uncharacteristic and hilarious enough, but when Sasuke scowled angrily it only made it funnier.
Naruto curled into a ball and clutched his ribs, tears streaming down his face as he pointed at Sasuke's fat face and laughed.
"What's so funny, dobe?" Sasuke snarled, but he blinked and his shoulders sagged when he realised his words had come out ridiculously muffled through his mouthful of fruit. This only made Naruto chuckle harder and pound the ground in hysterics.
Sasuke's head snapped around when he heard more laughter, this time form Sakura who had emerged from her hiding place.
"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun," she forced out between chuckles. "But, your face, it's so…" She couldn't end her sentence.
"Yeah, and what was with those weird noises you were making when you ate them, Sasuke?" Naruto smirked. "You sounded like a pig or something!" He and Sakura giggled together.
Sasuke swallowed fiercely and turned his head to one side, his hair flopping into his face. "I like tomatoes," he murmured, attempting to keep his voice steady. "That's all." When his team mates began laughing yet again, Sasuke tried on vain to stop the blush that was creeping up his pale cheeks.
Suddenly, Kakashi pushed through the vines, hands in his pockets and head cocked o one side. Sasuke's blush deepened: not his sensei too!
"Hey guys, what's so funny?" the jounin asked in his usual relaxed voice. "And what happened to all the tomatoes you picked?" he added, looking at the empty baskets scattered around the clearing.
Both Naruto and Sakura pointed wordlessly at Sasuke, grins on their faces.
Kakashi blinked. "Wow, Sasuke, you must have been pretty hungry."
Sasuke snarled and swiped off the tomato juice from his chin. "Just leave me alone! Find someone else to poke fun at!" He sniffed; they didn't realise there was some sensitivity hidden deep beneath his cool exterior.
"Aww, come on Sasuke-kun," Sakura smiled. "You have to admit it was pretty funny. And… and I thought it was kind of sweet too."
Sasuke stiffened, and then huffed. "Whatever." He glanced back and saw all three of them still looking at him.
"I'm out of here," he mumbled. "Get away from all you jerks…"
Halfway across the clearing Sasuke paused and turned back around again. "Not a word" he threatened, his dark eyes flashing.
And with that, he stalked off. What he didn't notice was his team mates desperately trying to suppress laughs, their eyes fixed on Sasuke's white shorts that weren't quite as white as usual, what with a squashed tomato smeared all over it.
"Remind me never to forget this" Naruto said.
"Sure thing" Sakura answered.
"Same here" Kakashi agreed.
Yeah, that was it. I miss those good ol' D-Ranked missions, back when there was no avenger business and everyone was friends with each other… kinda. So, was it lame? Because if it was, please tell me. But if you enjoyed it, great! :D