I just wanted to put a short one shot out there after seeing the latest episode of Bones. This one takes place immediately after the episode as Booth is being wheeled into the operating room. In this one, Bones does some serious thinking as she is there for the surgery as Booth asked her to be. I hope you like it. It's serious as opposed to the humorous ones I've been writing lately. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Bones watched as Booth was put under, his eyes holding hers as he succumbed to the anesthesia. She had placed herself in such a spot that he could see her at this moment, but when the surgery began, she could see it all, both directly as well as on the monitor. Booth had asked her to be there to make sure that nothing went wrong, and she was not going to let him down. The look of pure confidence in her, despite the possibilities of his demise, was so open and telling, that she had almost lost what little emotional control she had left at that point. The tender caring that her friends had shown towards her in the waiting room had almost unhinged her as well, though she had hid behind her usual wall of statistics and denial that this was in any way about her. She knew differently, though.
Despite all that was going on, and with his life in the balance, he had thought only of her. He had as much as told her that he loved her, and she somehow knew that he had almost said it aloud when he had halted them on the way to the O.R. and said that if the worst happened that he wanted her to have his things for the baby. He'd also told her that she would be a great mother. It was right then that she realized all that everyone, even Booth, had been trying to tell her the entire time since she had announced in Sweets' office that she wanted a baby. She had been going about it all wrong. It shouldn't be about a simple medical procedure to produce pregnancy. It shouldn't be about Booth simply being a sperm donor and that was it. It should be about the one person she cared about more than anyone in the world being the father of her child and being there right with her from the first moment of conception. Sweets had been right. A lot of discussion was needed, and she was now able to acknowledge that fact.
The shrill sound of the drill being used to open a part of Booth's skull made her focus her attention on that activity. She noted the minor blood loss that accompanied the small aperture being produced and nodded to herself. So far so good. Looking at the monitor, she could see the small, but evident, tumorous growth. She also noted the surrounding brain tissue and concluded that while difficult, it was a relatively easy tumor to remove. Sometimes scans were unreliable and surprises were found when the tumor was exposed, but not this time.
"Dr. Brennan?" the surgeon called to her.
"Yes, Doctor?" she replied and stepped forward.
"As you can clearly see on the monitor, the tumor does not present any difficulties beyond what we were expecting from the scans," he informed her. "However, I am slightly concerned by this area of darkened tissue here," he said, pointing out what appeared to be some dead tissue. "There is the possibility that the tumor disrupted enough of the normal blood flow that some damage may have occurred. I am going to expand the zone of the exploratory surgery and make sure that only a small portion of tissue has been damaged. If so, then there should be no residual effects."
"What residual effects would there be if the tissue damage is severe?" she asked. She was comfortable with the specialized subject matter, but she was not a specialist herself, hence her needing to ask questions.
"The hallucinations concern me," the surgeon responded honestly. "The size of this tumor is minor and should not have caused such integrated hallucinations into his conscious mind. Yet there were such hallucinations and he remained functional to a heightened degree. If the tissue damage is severe, then the hallucinations could well be permanent."
"Thank you for informing me Doctor," she said stoically.
For the next hour and a half, Bones watched the whole procedure. The tumor was excised and a sample was sent to the lab to confirm that it was benign which was what the Doctor expected. The exploratory surgery was showing very little tissue damage, but a minor aneurysm was discovered and easily repaired.
During the surgery she continued with her soul searching. Was she in fact ready for a child? Yes, she was. She knew somehow that she was. Despite the naiveté she had displayed recently since the subject had been brought up, she had been listening, especially to Booth. His confidence in her, despite his finally admitting that if he couldn't be a full and integrated part of her and the baby's lives then she shouldn't have the child, showed her that she was ready. She just needed to stop and learn to approach this with her heart and soul (assuming she could bring herself to accept such subjective ideas), not her logic. It couldn't be about schedules, procedures, and regimented structure. It had to be about family and what was best for the individual child.
But what of her feelings for Booth? This incident had almost destroyed her. More so than a year before when he'd been shot. This time words had been said, and the all encompassing emotional storm that always hovered around them had been exposed and both had felt it. The look in his eyes as he saw her just outside the surgical pre-op room had been so open and warm that she hadn't been able to help the smile that came to her lips. His look of utter trust and confidence when he'd asked her to be in the surgical ward with him to watch over his surgery had also been as deep an emotional connection as she'd ever felt. The plea that she accept his things if he didn't make it was also revealing. He'd told her he had confidence in her. Not the nanny idea, or all the people who would undoubtedly be there to help her when she eventually had a baby, but her. Putting it all together, not only that, but all the patience, friendship, and genuine trust he'd bestowed upon her added up to the one development in her feelings that she hadn't ever thought possible. She loved him. She didn't know if she deserved all he did for her, but she had it, and was now able to admit to the feelings she'd been feeling since a short while after she had met him. She was in love with Booth. It had only taken nearly five years and this horrifying scare to make her see it.
"Dr. Brennan?" the surgeon called her over again. "I've completed the exploratory and found nothing more than minor tissue damage. The lab report came back benign, so I am ready to finish the surgery. Would you care to assist in the bone reattachment?"
"Yes, thank you, Doctor," she said with a deep sigh of relief. She moved in close and leaned in to begin to assist.
One hour later, she came out of the recovery area, making sure that once she had completed her task, she could come back and sit with him while waiting for him to wake up. She entered a quiet, peaceful room with benches and an altar. Over to one side she saw several rows of candles, some of them lit. Moving over to them, she did as she had once seen Booth do. She lit a candle, and whispered something. Only one who was close by would have been able to know what she'd said. "Watch over him," she'd whispered. "He's someone needed here and he's special. He's shown me what love is." Quickly, before she broke down in complete relief at his being okay, she left the hospital chapel and made her way back to the recovery room. She took a seat by his side and focused her attention on him. "When you wake up, Booth, we have a lot to talk about," she said as she settled in for a long wait.
A/N: I hope everyone liked this one. I wanted a short introspective piece that sets up a possibly relationship and some serious growth for Brennan. Let me know how it worked. Gregg.