The Ways Of The Nanny
Artemis twiddled evilly on his computer. Just then Holly came into the room carrying two cups of tea.
"There you are dear," she said, handing one to Artemis and kissing him on the cheek. "I need to discuss something with you. How would you like to be a daddy? You see I'm pregnant, and when I went for a scan I found I had 73 kids growing inside me!"
"Crumbs," said Artemis and started running around the room like a headless chicken. When Artemis calmed down they started to discuss names.
"I know," said Artemis, not having much imagination, his suggestion was calling all the boys Artemis the II, Artemis the III, IV, V etc. and all the girls Holly the II, III, IV etc.
Holly punched Artemis in the nose.
"Oh sorry, I actually think that's quite a good idea. Butler, Butler!" Butler came into the room and waggled his fingers at Artemis's nose.
"Whammo, Zammo, Kablamo!" He said and Artemis's nosebleed melted away, but so did his nose, fortunately it grew back in a few hours.
Over the next nine months Artemis bought a penthouse with 74 bedrooms and spent his days painting them blue and pink. Holly then went shopping to buy dummies in packs of 73. She met her old friend Foaly. He was pushing her old commander Root in a wheelchair.
"Oh hello Holly," said Foaly, "Say hello commander".
"GOBBLEDIGOOK!" Root yelled.
"I'm sorry Holly, Root tragically lost his mind in a troll accident and I've been looking after him ever since, he also bought 43 penthouses on Pent Street.
"That's where Artemis and I live, and I'm pregnant with 73 kids."
"Ok…" said Foaly "Goodbye then."
"GOBBLEDIGOOK!" Root screamed as Foaly wheeled him away.
The kids arrived and Butler learned to look after the kids by himself. He also taught Foaly the ways of the nanny. And the all lived happily ever after…except Artemis the 27th who was eaten by Root who turned to cannibalism…