Disclaimer: You know…I don't own Final Fantasy IX, yadda yadda yadda…
Author's Note: I seriously don't know what to say. It's Vivi's thoughts on life. This is my first time making a "deep" story, so don't blame me if it sounds a bit shallow. (Hahah)
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LIFE
By Vivi Orunitia
Written by Spirit
Life. Hah, what a word. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd finally understand its meaning. It's a word people take for granted. Some people brush it aside and ignore it, like Kuja. Some people live it to the fullest and enjoy it, like Zidane. And some people question it and look for its meaning.
Like me.
I now see why people enjoy it, why people love it so much. But I don't understand…why do people feel the need to destroy it? Without life, we wouldn't exist…
…Unless we already don't.
But why do people like Kuja seek to destroy life? The very word gives you new spirit. Maybe these people who seek to disrupt life have had bad lives themselves. On purpose or accidentally? I'm not sure. I never was…
I don't know how I got to understand life. When I was nine years old, I didn't even think we existed, let alone lived. But we did. I got to see life with my own eyes. I got to experience life to the fullest on my adventures with my friends. They helped me see it. That's what makes them the greatest friends I could ever want.
Most of them, anyway…
But I understand it now, I guess. …No. It's not "I guess". It's either I do, or I don't. …Hah, that's what Zidane told me at Madain Sari. I either do, or I don't. It's that simple. At least, it is now. Back then, I couldn't stop thinking about "stopping". I couldn't stop thinking about…about death.
But my friends helped me find my meaning. Zidane told me to stop thinking so hard and to "do, or don't". Dagger was always there for me, like a big sister. Mister Steiner…well…he encouraged my use of black magic. Quina rekindled the memories of my past…in a way. Freya taught me how to move on after tradegy (without intending to teach me). Eiko told me to be honest with myself. And Amarant…well…he didn't really teach me anything. But he was there, helping us, and that's what mattered.
I remember thinking that I was the only one in the world. I remember thinking that I was just a mindless puppet and that I wasn't meant to live. But my friends told me otherwise. They (actually, it was mostly Zidane and Dagger) told me that I was an individual, that I was special, that I was "different in a good way". That gave me new hope and allowed me to live on. I remember when Mr. 288 told me that Black Mages live for only a year. I was terrified. But I found out the meaning of my life and lived past that one-year limit. Hah, that's why I feel so proud when the little ones call me "Grandpa Vivi" and ask me to tell of my adventures.
And now that I understand life, I have no fear of death. I believe that death is the first step of another life, a life where souls can be free. And so I wait for the day when I'm taken away from this world to enter a new one. Then I can finally rest in peace.
I'm sure Grandpa Quan would be proud of me for living this long. I might be the last Black Mage alive that was produced during Queen Brahne's time.
I am Vivi Orunitia. I am the last "produced" Black Mage.
And I'm happy.