Chapter 1

April's eyes cracked open under the harsh bright white walls of her room. She was exhausted and her body felt old and creaky. She and Raph were patrolling the Foot the previous night when they were caught and they barely made it out alive. She struggled to even roll over. Her hand reached over for Raph, but she didn't feel him. Her head lolled over and his side of the bed was empty and cold.

"What the hell?" April thought out loud.

She slowly sat up and examined her arms and legs that were covered in bruises. She slowly massaged her neck and wished Raph was here to do it for her. When did she start to feel so old? It was like the six year difference between twenty-one and twenty-seven on a drinking binge. Twenty-one you could get up and go jog the hangover away. Twenty-seven you might as well wake up in a body bag. The mutagen used to take away all the next day pain, but now it felt like it was fading. She was beat up and tired.

Last night was a close call and it was becoming more and more frequent. The two of them had been working endlessly for months patrolling the Foot and taking down small time operation that funded them. But it seemed like lately they were losing steam. April felt like she was losing control. Of her mission and of her relationship. She felt like Raph was becoming distant and regretting leaving his family. Neither of them had seen any of the guys or Splinter since Raph had made his crazy decision to come be with April. There was a tap at the door.

"Come in."

Vern slipped in with a mug for April, "How ya feeling?"

"Like hammered dog shit." April groaned and accepted the coffee from Vern, "Have you seen Raph?"

He nodded, "Yeah, he slipped out early this morning."

"What? Where?" She asked jumping out of bed.

Vern threw his hands over his eyes, "O'Neil, you're in your underwear!" He said as he peeked through his fingers.

"Oh, shut up, Vern. Where did he go?" She asked as she slipped on her jacket and threw her hair up in a pony tail.

He tilted his head to the side and rolled his eyes, "You know where he is."

Mikey was in the kitchen cooking a huge breakfast. The smell of eggs and bacon wafted through the lair when there was the sound of the lair door closing.

"Leo, Donny, I'm cooking breakfast so don't leave the lair." When he didn't get a response, he turned his head to see Raph standing there. Mikey dropped his spatula, "Oh, my God!" He ran to Raph and wrapped his arms around him. Raph winced in pain, but he didn't push Mikey away. He returned the hug as best he could, "Raph, what are you doing here? We haven't heard from you in months."

Raph felt his heart breaking because he could tell Mikey was crying, "I know, Mikey. I'm sorry. 'S been crazy taking down the Foot left and right."

Now, Mikey was openly crying as he held onto Raph and it never dawned on Raph just how much Mikey depended on him for one sided conversations, silent video game bonding sessions, and talks about what sex is like.

"Raph?"

He turned his head to see Leo and Donny in the living area, "Sup, bro's?"

"We thought you were dead." Leo choked on the words and he and Donny joined the hug.

Donny could feel the tension in Raph's body, "You're hurt, aren't you?"

Raph played tough as always, "Just a little beat up. Me and Ape had a close one last night with the Foot."

"Where's Angel Cakes?"

"She's back at the base. She doesn't know I came. I'll be in serious shit for this, but-" Raph paused as he felt the lump rise in his throat as he thought about how much he missed his brothers.

"It's okay, Raph. We know how you feel." Mikey assured him.

There was a knock at the door and all four heads turned. Leo looked at the three of them and went to open the door. April walked into the lair and stood in front of her four turtles. Her four favorite guys and the love of her life. Raph's jaw damn near hit the floor. For the first time in a long time, his April stood in front of him. Her hair was pulled up from her face, she was in jeans and knee high boots with a t-shirt, and her yellow leather jacket. She looked at each one of them before landing her eyes on Raphael's.

"Babe, I know you're pissed-" He began.

She shook her head fervently, "I'm not pissed off. I'm worried, but not pissed… Why didn't you just tell me you needed to be here instead of sneaking off?"

Raph felt bad now. April's voice was calm and collected, "Let's go talk. Mikey, I think your eggs are burnin'." He led April down the hall to his old room and closed the door behind him, "Sit down." April did so and waited frightened at what he was going to say, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you, but I knew if you were hurtin' half as bad as me, you needed sleep. I just- I just woke up this morning and realized it had almost been a year since I left my family… A year is a long time. And I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I miss 'em." Raph was trying to compose himself because now that he was home all he wanted to do was break down and cry. He looked at April who sat patiently as she always did for him and a sorrowful grin appeared on his face, "You. You look so damn beautiful right now. Do you know that? I have not seen you look like this in so long. I didn't even know you still had that yellow jacket… That jacket. That's how I always think of you. Wavy hair and a yellow jacket. That's my April." He sat on his knees in front of her so he could face her and April was so scared and confused she began to tear up.

She put her hands on his neck, "Raph, what's wrong?" Raph just shook his head and let his face bury into her hands, "Do you regret leaving here to come with me? Do you want to leave?"

He looked back up at her, "Not without you I don't."

"I can't leave, Raph. They made me and they protect me from the Foot. I can't just go back to reporting. I'm dead."

Raph held her hands in his, "I'll protect you. They didn't make you. You're April and you don't owe them anything else. You've done your part."

"And what am I supposed to do? They won't let me walk away. I'm stuck and I told you this is how it is and this is why I told you to stay here because I knew this is the day that would inevitably happen. That you would be torn between me and your brothers. I know you love me, but I also know you are one-fourth of a whole and without you your brothers can't be whole just like you can't without them."

"Stop talking like that. I'm not leavin' you there." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "I'm not losing you to them. I'm gonna find a way and I'll make it happen. I swear I will."