You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you...
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
there's nothing we can do,
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon...
'Oh, my heart… this is most definitely what dying feels like. But how can I keep her from leaving?' Tarrant Hightopp held his singed and bedazzled hat in his hands as he stared at Alice. She was going to leave, and it was uncertain whether or not she'd be back. That thought terrified the already muddled hatter. She had only been here but a smidge of time, and now she wanted to take off again. When she was young, she could not control where her dreams took her, but this time she had had a choice in the matter. Even in her youth Tarrant had felt deep emotions for her, and when she had left, he felt like a blade had run him through; the very same feeling he had felt when his village was wiped out. How could he lose what he'd loved for so long, and longed for so lovingly. He started in surprise when she spoke again.
"I'm going to miss this place." He smiled crookedly at her words, but his eyes held a tint of misery at them as well.
"Alice, dear... you don't have to miss it, if you don't want to…" She raised her clear blue eyes to meet his glassy hazel and green ones. His words left her in a state of wondering. It was her choice was it not? Who was she trying to please?
"Do you remember," she mumbled dreamily, "what I told you…before I faced the Jabberwocky?" Tarrant tilted his head confusedly, and reached for Alice's pale hand. She let him take it, as it was a gesture he only rarely initiated, and she liked the feeling of his rough, ink stained fingers.
"Let me think… something about breakfast, yes?" he asked, and scratched his head comically. She giggled, and Tarrant let the smile he had been holding back break through. He loved making her laugh. It gave his insides a warmer feeling than making hats or sugary tea ever did. Alice tapped his nose teasingly, and he went crossed eyed trying to see her slender finger.
"Sometimes I belive in six impossible things before breakfast," she clarified, and gave him a sweet smile. Tarrant swallowed thickly, and his eyes followed the movement of her lips. The movement shocked a warm feeling into his chest, and he coughed into his free hand nervously.
"A-ah, yes, that seems like a well deemable practice in my book." He gave her hand a tentative squeeze, and tried to calm the racing beat that his heart had picked up. There was moment of silence between them, and his mind wandered toward the ever present darkness that was latched onto his sanity. When he was with Alice, the coldness of the inky darkness seemed to take on a cozier feeling and it felt more content with letting Tarrant think clearly. It was almost like a cat in that it was only content with certain people, and apparently even his insanity fancied the adventurous beauty that held his hand.
'Please. Don't leave, my dear Alice… You're the most fiery creature in my world. I'll lose my sunshine when you go…'
"-arrant…Tarrant!" He was suddenly jerked out of his stupor by the strong clarity of her voice. He shook his head, and focused on her wondrous blue orbs.
"Y-yes? What is it, sweetling?"
"Tarrant…" she hesitated, but then plunged on quickly, "how do you know if you love someone?" He almost crumpled to the ground in astonishment. The darkness had even roused from its contentment to prowl at the forefront of his mind. They both thrilled at the implication of her words, but then he remembered what she had told him about running from some sort of proposal, and how she had found the rabbit hole. Immediately the darkness reared its dangerous head, 'That bugger she left in the upstairs...who the hell else could she be refferin' to? Why would she be thinkin' of you? To us? Why do we even hope of happiness…" Alice saw his eyes go from a joyful yellow, to a deep hateful red in less than a second. She took his other hand, and tighten her hold on him.
"You see," she said calmly, trying to sooth his emotions, "my first impossible thing this morning was my question… I wanted to know how you know if what you feel is love… and I was wondering if you could give me some clever insight?" She noticed his eyes beginning to calm to a muted but still vibrant orange, and she let out a small sigh of relief, as his eyes completely rolled back into his head. She knew that he did this as a way of trying to rein himself back into a peaceful state of mind. The miffed hatter took in a deep breath as his eyes cooled into a soft shade of maroon. He fixed his gaze on her, and she gasped at the intensity of it.
"You're really wanting me to answer, Alice?" she nodded, and her eyebrows came together at his grave tone of voice. The only other time she had heard him speak that gravely was when he had recounted his tale of the Jabberwocky. Tarrant surprised her when he slowly lifted his arms to lay them heavily on her shoulders. She sucked in a sharp breath as his hands came into contact with her lace covered shoulders. His eyes shone with more clarity than she had ever seen them, and as his tongue flicked out of his mouth to lick his lips, and Alice couldn't help but follow the movement with her eyes. She flushed involuntarily when his rough Scottish brogue came seeping out of his mouth instead of his sweet, lilting drawl.
"Alice," he groaned, "when a bein' is in love... you can't stop thinkin' of 'em. They become your every thought, they infect yer every whimsy, they are yer livin' poison, they invade the shatter'd pieces of yer heart and make 'em whole again…they shouldn't 'ave the power to do tha', but...they do…"
He searched her eyes with earnest, and leaned closer toward her flushed face. Her pupils dilated at his close proximity, and she was very aware that his hands had left a tingling trail of fire as they had traveled down to rest at her waist. The calculative system that made up her mind was a scrambled mess. No one had ever laid hands on her like this, and she knew that her whole face and neck must have been tinged pink at his touch and words. She swallowed the saliva that had amassed at his doings, and she felt his eyes following the movement of her neck. When his gaze met hers again, he smirked at her pinkness, and leaned close toward her ear.
"You drive me mad, lass." He laid a gentle kiss upon her ear, and she let loose a breathy gasp and a small shudder to which he chuckled at. Tarrant's mind had somehow collected into a strong bout of confidence, and he had let the darkness co-pilot his actions. A sense of pride overcame the hatter when he stepped back from Alice, and she bit her lip at the loss of contact. He smiled warmly at her, and took her hand again. His eyes had returned to back to a glassy hazel and green hue. When she opened her mouth to say something Tarrant quickly placed a finger over her lips.
"Alice, dear. I want you to be aware of my love for you, and whatever your feelings for this mad hatter may be… this friendship will carry on." Alice gathered her courage, and laid a kiss upon his palm. At the simple sign of affection, Tarrant closed his eyes in bliss. He knew that she reciprocated his love, and that was all he needed. If she left, so be it, but he knew that he would see her again. Love was a sickness, and they were both mad with it...
Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around
I'll see you when I fall asleep...
