*Bella*

A dim glow lights my living room as I flip through the channels on TV. It's all I can do just to push the button on the remote. I have no energy anymore. I have no desire to even move anymore. So I sit here, on the couch, in the dark, with a blanket wrapped around me, trying to provide me some sort of comfort, comfort that does not make up for the comfort that I've lost.

The comfort that skanky bitch stole from me.

Tanya.

The whore.

And I was such a fool, such a fool to think I could ever compare to her – blonde hair, big boobs, and that damn high-pitch giggle.

"Oh, Edward," giggle, giggle. "You're so funny," giggle, giggle.

What-freaking-ever.

If she was here right now, I'd shove this remote down her throat. Giggle through that, bitch.

"What did the remote ever do to you, huh?"

Alice. When did she come in?

She pries my fingers from around the remote, apparently I'm holding it a bit too tightly now, and sits down next to me. Jasper follows behind her and sits in my dad's old recliner. "Ooh, wrestling. Good choice," he says, staring at the TV.

Alice sighs and quickly changes the channel. "I don't think violent programs are the best entertainment at the moment."

Really? Because I think they are. I really need to learn how to put somebody in a choke hold.

"Why aren't you dressed? I told you to be ready by 10:30."

"Alice, how many times do I have to say it? I don't want to go to a party tonight."

"Bella, you can't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself all the time. You have to get out there and show him he hasn't hurt you, show her she hasn't broken you, show them they didn't win."

And I agree with Alice because that sounds like a fabulous idea, absolutely remarkable, except for one thing. They did.

I curl up into a ball in my blanket and lay sideways on the couch, wishing it would just swallow me up whole. Alice slides closer to me, then drapes herself over my body, hugging me the way a best friend would. The tears are starting now, then the sniffles, and soon enough, there's a wet patch forming on the couch.

"That is so hot. Move over, Alice, I want to be in the middle." Jasper leaps on top of the two of us, and the next thing I know, the entire couch is rocking. "Come on, Swan, come to the party. I'll even let you wear my cowboy hat. Alice doesn't even get that privilege."

"Jasper, get off!" Alice yells.

"Oh, you know I will, baby!"

The rough fabric of the couch rubs against my cheek, and I feel myself starting to get rug burn. I already look bad enough. I don't need a facial rash to add to it. "All right, all right, I'll go. But for the love of sweet baby Jesus, Jasper, please stop humping me!"

We pull up to the house, and my stomach turns. Cars pack the street, and it's like the entire school has shown up. I step out of the car but hesitate for a moment, reconsidering whether or not I really want to deal with this tonight, when Jasper comes up beside me and places his cowboy hat on my head with a smile. "Not even Alice gets to wear it," he says.

I turn, take it off, and hand it back to him. "I appreciate it, Jasper, but I really don't want to draw any more attention to myself tonight."

He fakes a hurt look and puts it back on his head. "Huh, well, you just lost the privilege, Swan. Don't expect to ever get that opportunity again."

A smile creeps into the corner of his mouth, and he gives me a friendly hip bump before heading toward the front door. Alice takes my hand, and we follow. "Come on. It'll be okay."

A pile of jackets sits on the floor in the corner by the stairs, and Alice and Jasper throw theirs in with the rest. I leave mine on and pull it even tighter around me.

"Well, ladies, shall we get a drink?" Jasper asks.

I glance through the living room and see a group of people hanging out around a keg in the kitchen. I really don't want to have to be social with anyone tonight, so I pull away from Alice and Jasper. "I think I'll just wait here. You guys go. Have fun."

Alice shakes her head at me in disapproval. "Fine, but we're grabbing some beers and coming right back. I'm not leaving you to stew alone all night."

They head toward the kitchen, and I hang back by the empty dining room behind the stairs, just watching as more and more people walk into the house, preparing myself to make a run for it if Edward or Tanya show up.

The door swings open again, and I'm slightly surprised when Edward's younger sister walks in with a boyfriend. I like her. She's a good kid, a bit boy crazy, but what fifteen-year-old girl isn't? Edward wouldn't be happy to know she was here, but his lack of consideration toward me lately makes me not really give two craps what he thinks, so I pretend not to notice her.

I hear a loud commotion coming from the kitchen and realize it's been a few minutes since Alice and Jasper left to get drinks. I can't help but wonder if they've forgotten about me now, too. I begin to feel a little self-conscious just standing here by myself, and I quickly consider my options. The door is right in front of me. I could leave and no one would even notice. Or I could stand here alone and miserable all night, watching everyone have fun. Or I could do what Alice suggested, join the party and at the very least try to make everyone think I'm all right, that I'm having fun. Maybe that information will get back to Edward and Tanya, and they'll think they failed at trying to hurt me, even though they'd actually succeeded.

I take a deep breath and push myself out into the crowd. As I wander through Lauren's house, I notice the looks of pity people are shooting at me, some are people I don't even know, but by now everyone has heard, and they know what I know, what I knew all along - I'm not good enough for Edward Cullen.

"What's up, Bella?"

I hear the familiar voice from behind me. I turn, and he looks at me eagerly, like always.

I force a smile. "Hi, Mike."

"You look lost. Can I get you a drink or anything?"

"No, I don't really want anything. Thanks though."

"Okay, but if you change your mind..."

I nod and quickly try to walk away before things get too awkward. Mike's always been overly nice to me. I've never been sure if it's just because he wants us to be friends or if he has other feelings about me, but he and Edward are good friends, and following recent events, it's not so apparent where anyone's loyalties might lie anymore.

I turn, but he lightly reaches for my arm before I can get far. "Bella, Edward's an idiot." He smiles at me. I can see he's trying to be reassuring, so I smile back, a little more genuine this time.

"Thanks, Mike."

He nods and heads off, back to his group of friends.

I continue my pace through the house until I find an empty corner in the living room. I lean against the wall, taking in the activity that surrounds me when Jasper and Alice finally come back from the kitchen. Jasper hands me a red plastic cup, and I take it, not because I want to drink, but just to have something to hold onto, something to make my hands not feel so empty anymore.

"Sorry we took so long. Some jackasses were doing keg stands," Alice huffs and shoots Jasper an annoyed glare.

Jasper shrugs. "What? It's a party! God forbid anyone has fun." Then a smile spreads across his face and he looks at me. "Swan, you should do one!"

I look at him, unsure of what he's talking about. "Do what?"

"A keg stand!"

"Oh, hell no!" I shake my head at him.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I'll get dropped!"

"No you won't! You're so tiny, I could hold you up with my pinky."

I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of his suggestion. It feels good to laugh again. "Uh uh, no way, Jasper!"

I try to back away, but he grabs my hand, and before I know it, I'm in the kitchen, surrounded by a bunch of drunk high school boys and Alice.

"You don't have to do this, you know?" she says, but I can tell on her face she wants me to do it just as much as Jasper does.

Just as much as I do.

I step up to the keg and look at Jasper. "So, what do I do?"

"Hell yeah! Hey, Emmett, we got a taker here," Jasper says to a big guy who seems to be guarding the keg.

The big guy looks at me and gives me what seems like a nod of approval.

"Just hold on to the keg," Jasper says. "I'll hold your legs up, and Emmett will hold the tap. When you've had enough, just give us a sign of some sort."

"Don't drop me."

"I promise I won't drop ya, darlin."

I nod and grab onto the keg, and without warning I'm completely upside down, my legs straight up in the air, my shirt threatening to reveal a bit too much, and my hair falling into the spilt beer all around me. Alice quickly adjusts my shirt then gathers up my hair and ties it back for me.

"Thanks, Alice."

"Mmm hmm."

"All right, Swan, you ready?

I take a deep breath and answer. "I'm ready."

The big guy puts the tap into my mouth, and I wonder for a second how many germs I've probably just ingested before he pushes down on the lever.

Ice cold beer begins to fill my mouth, and once I can't hold anymore in, my swallowing reflex seems to take over on its own. All of the blood is rushing to my head, and I'm starting to get a brain freeze, but everyone is cheering me on now, and I continue to chug for as long as possible. I want to show these boys, show everyone what I'm made of. This is probably not the best way to do it, but I have to admit it's pretty fun.

Finally, my stomach feels like it can't hold any more liquid, and I shake my head. Immediately the flow of beer stops, and I gasp to catch my breath. The big guy reaches around me, and I'm turned upright on my feet again.

"My God, Swan! Like a champ!" Jasper congratulates me on my newfound ability and puts his cowboy hat back onto my head. "Guess I spoke too soon."

I'm covered in beer. It's all over my clothes, my hands, my face, and in my hair. It's sloshing around in my stomach and freezing my brain, and I'm starting to get dizzy as the blood is rushing back down from my head.

I feel completely giddy, and I can't stop laughing.

Until I turn around and see Edward, his face void of any emotion, staring at me.