Disclaimer : I own nothing but the plot. No copyright infringement was intended by writing this. I just want to exercise my English and have fun with the characters.
Pairing : Hameron maybe.
Timeline : Somewhere between the episodes when baby Rachel get adopted and Huddy became canon.
A/N : A ficlet, to satisfy my House withdrawal.
== CRY BABY==
"Cuddy!." House stormed into Cuddy's office, dramatically throwing a file-folder on top of her desk. "I'm not going to sign that. Not before you promise me a plasma TV and cable for my office." He flopped down on the couch only to realize that there was no Cuddy sitting at the desk.
"Cuddy!" he craned his neck, searching for his buxom boss. She was definitely not in the room. No saucers eyes glared at him, no trademark sigh and scowl, no Cuddy.
"What a waste of energy." House rose on his feet only to spot something very unusual at the other end of the couch. It was a car-seat; a black and pink car seat, complete with a sleeping baby in it.
He glanced at the baby suspiciously and then glanced at the open door as if he was weighting his options. Another second passed and he decided to flop back on the couch.
"Hey you, where's your mommy." He gestured at the sleeping infant with his cane. Its tip nearly touched Rachel's button nose. "I think it's against the law to abandon a baby. We could sue your mom and make her pays for my new plasma TV."
He let the cane making contact with the tiny shoes she's wearing and the baby stirred. A wicked grin was on her face.
'Wakey-wakey, cry and call your mother, I need her to argue with her about extra clinic duty." He poked Rachel's arm with his cane. It seemed like Rachel was a very good sleeper, she stirred and yawned but didn't even open an eye. "I never understand why, but your crazy mom loves to torture me with nonsense patients in the clinic."
Seeing that the baby was not responding, House inched closer and hovered over the car-seat, blowing Rachel's closed eyes. "Wake up, you poop-factory."
"House what are you doing?"
House looked over his shoulder to see Cameron, her hand on her hip, glaring at him.
"Waking her." He poked the baby again, this time using his forefinger.
'Stop it, she'll wake up and cry." Cameron stepped in and put a stack of paper on Cuddy's desk.
"Gees, that's the main goal here." He poked again.
"House, stop it!"
"Make me." He grinned and poked again. Poke, poke, poke.
"House!" His former duckling pursed her lips at him as she stepped closer to the couch. She glanced at the sleeping baby before glaring at House. "Go harass some adults out there, she's just a baby."
"What? You may cast a storm in this office and she won't even open her eyes. See!" He poked again, this time his target was Rachel's button nose. "Let's make louder noise and see if Cuddy's baby is deaf." He scooped two or three hardcover books from Cuddy's desk and prepared to drop them on the floor. "Ready duckling?" He lifted the books high.
"No, House!" Cameron tried to reach for the books but tripped over House's feet. Their bodies collided and stumbled onto the desk. Cameron was on top of him and House grinned manically. "You always want to be on top huh?"
"Just give me the damn books." Cameron reached again and knocked the books off House's hands. The books fell to the floor with a loud thud along with Cuddy's keys and stationary.
The noise did the trick. First, Rachel opened her eyes. Then, she whimpered for a moment before letting out a full blown cry.
"Shit!" House propped himself with his elbows while Cameron straightened herself.
"I told you not to wake her!" She scolded him.
"You were the one who knocked me out!" House yelled back; trying to be louder than the shrill cry. "Just shut the baby up! So we can continue the desktop make out session." He winked suggestively.
Cameron huffed and got the baby out of the seat, awkwardly cradled Rachel in her arms. "Shhhhhh." She tried to soothe the red faced infant.
It didn't work. Rachel wriggled, kicked, and cried out louder.
"House, give me her bottle."
"What bottle?" He was already at the threshold, preparing to bolt away.
"Baby bottle House, milk bottle. Check the bag."
House checked the bag he hadn't realized was there before. He had to dig among diapers and baby clothes before finding out that the bottle was on top of Cuddy's desk, empty. He saw Cuddy's coffee mug and started to fill the bottle with the black liquid.
"House, that's coffee." Cameron hissed.
"I know. It tastes almost the same." He handed the bottle to Cameron, but she swatted his hand away.
"Are you out of your mind?" Cameron walked away from House and walked closer to the window. "Shhhh Rachel, it's okay. Mommy will be here soon. Ssssh." She swayed on her feet, rocking the baby in her arms.
To House's amazement, Rachel's cry was slowly subsided into hiccups.
"Yeah, that's a good girl. Sssssh." She cooed and swayed until Rachel calmed down. The office fell into silence and Cameron looked back at House. He sat on the edge of the desk, staring at Cameron.
"You look good with the baby." He commented rather absentmindedly, his eyes followed her as she moved across the room.
"What?" Cameron was about to put Rachel back on the car seat when House stopped her. His hand was on Cameron's arm while the other was caressing Rachel's foot.
"Have a baby with me." His eyes stabbed into hers. For a moment, Cameron thought she had saw that old fire lit up again. The same fire she had saw years before. The same fire from their first kiss. It reminded her of their first date, of a warmth night when everything was simple, innocent, and true.
"Can't do." She straightened herself up and clasped the safety belt over Rachel's tummy. "I don't want a drug-addict as the father of my child."
"And I will never give up my Vicodin." The fire was replaced by the blistering coldness of familiar blue eyes. "So, desktop sex only then. Come on, pounce me again." House leaned onto the desk and playfully popped out one button of his shirt.
"Yeah right." Cameron rolled her eyes. "Don't disturb her again." She nodded at the sleeping baby. "And tell Cuddy that those are my monthly report." She gestured at the paper stack on Cuddy's desk before stepped out of the office.
House sighed, thinking how good it would be to have Cameron as the mother his child. Children, he corrected himself as he started to poke at Rachel again.
FIN
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