Karin: Hey, here's another oneshot from me
Karin: Hey, here's another oneshot from me. Just something I thought up on a whim here because I've been wanting to do something like this for awhile now.
Title: Thank You
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Implied Peter/Susan/Caspian
Genres: Family/General
Summary: Susan realizes why she's still alive.
Disclaimer: The day Narnia will be mine is the day that I will like spinach… and I hate spinach with every fiber of my being.
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Thank You
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Susan Pevensie let out a breath of exhaustion. Her face was covered with sweaty precipitation as her body ached all over. She laid her messed up curls upon the white pillow and continued inhaling and exhaling deeply.
She felt tired and worn, but despite the weak state her body was in, she couldn't help but smiling in satisfaction. No matter how drained she was at the moment, she couldn't wipe that grin off her face as she lied on the now dirty once white sheets of the bed.
A nurse gazed upon her with a smile and wiped some sweat off her forehead with a cloth. After five hours of nothing but pain and anxiety, it was all finally over.
"You did wonderfully, Ms. Pevensie" the nurse told her. "In a few moments, you'll see the results of your hard work"
Susan gave her a smile in thanks. The nurse, Rachel, had stayed by her through the whole thing encouraging Susan as she suffered through probably the most painful thing in her life.
Their attention was turned towards the doorway when the door opened to see the doctor holding a bundle. He approached Susan and Rachel with a tired smile. He then directed his gaze towards Susan and gently handed her the bundle. He too, looked tired like Rachel, and yet stayed with her through the whole ordeal.
"Perfectly healthy" he said to Susan with a smile, "Nothing wrong at all. However, you'll both have to stay over night since you're obviously not in condition to leave" he chuckled at the lame joke at stating the obvious.
"Thanks Doc" Susan said appreciatively. She held the bundle in her arms securely as the doctor nodded and left the room since his job was done. Rachel sat beside Susan as they both looked upon the bundle.
With a shaky hand, Susan uncovered the blue blanket to see a slumbering face. Tuffs of dark chocolate hair like her own peeked out from the covers. Her face lit up as she looked upon the result of her labor.
"So this is the cause of my trip to the hospital, eh?" she muttered out as she stroked the baby's forehead softly. "Quite worth it, if I do say so myself" Susan grinned out.
"You're going to have trouble with him when he gets older" Rachel spoke out causing Susan to give her look of indignant. Rachel saw her look and finished her explanation, "I meant with the ladies, Ms. Pevensie. He's going to be a real lady killer when he gets older"
Susan had to laugh at that. Yes, she also had the feeling women would be chasing after him when he was older. However, even if he was the ugliest thing in the world, to Susan, he would be the most adorable thing she had ever seen.
Must be the maternal instinct kicking in, Susan thought with a teasing smile at herself. Even now as she held her child in her arms, she never thought she would be a mother. In her younger teen years, she was sure she was too absorbed into parties and looking good than raising a child.
And yet, here she was, holding her new baby boy in the hospital where she spent five hours of long painful labor. She felt herself glowing as she gazed at her offspring's face.
It was a very strange feeling. As Susan fixed her eyes on her son, she felt something inside her change. She had felt the change earlier while she was still pregnant, but now it came upon her in full swing.
She didn't care about parties or being beautiful, she realized. She didn't care about the latest gossip or who was the most handsome bachelor as she once did. None of it mattered to her now and she doubted it ever would again.
Her child changed her.
"So, when's the father getting here?" Rachel asked her excitedly pulling Susan from her revelation. "I mean, I'm sure he'll want to look at his son and tired wife"
"He's not coming" Susan cut her off from her ramblings of the father who was never going to walk through the hospital door. "He left when he found out I was pregnant" Susan told her nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders. Rachel paled at her mistake and began to apologize.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I mean, I know you're only seventeen, but I didn't think that you were a single mother! With your looks, I'm sure you would've had someone—"
"Don't worry about it" Susan cut her off with a wave of her hand. "His loss anyway! I get this tyke to myself" she gave off a grin as she lightly tickled the baby's cheek with her index finger. "Besides, he wouldn't have made a good father so I guess it was a good thing he ran out"
"Oh… well, um…" Rachel began obviously still feeling awkward for saying something offending, despite the fact that Susan wasn't offended at all. "I'm going to go now, holler if you need me" Rachel told her and made her way towards the door. Her cheeks were pink with embarrassment until she shut the door behind her making Susan chuckle to herself.
A ruffling drew her attention to the bundle in her arms. Her newborn was moving his limbs now awaking from his peaceful slumber. His blue eyed gaze looked up at Susan almost making her melt into a pile of goo. She gave a hesitant smile in greeting and touched one of his hands with her fingers.
He responded by grasping one of her fingers gently but firmly. His soft skin brushed against her moist skin making Susan's smile grow.
"Hey there, squirt" she greeted. "Did you have a nice nap?" she teased. A yawn and an irritate look answered her causing her to laugh. "Sorry. Guess I woke you up, huh?" she asked him.
He then stuck his tongue out as to reply to her question. Susan let out a full laugh at that. He was so cute. She couldn't believe she had produced this adorable child. He was her child. Her son.
"I'm Susan Pevensie" she introduced herself. "I'm your mom, and you're my son" she said with pride in her eyes. When she said that last statement, her body felt so rejuvenated, so invigorated.
She wished her parents were here. They would love to be grandparents, she knew. Always trying to spoil their new grandson and spending time with him. That's something they would definitely do if they were still alive.
Her best friend, Jacob, who had become like her brother and had helped her throughout her pregnancy, would probably sulk about how her child would be taking all the good-looking women away from him now. But even so, he would congratulate her for doing a great job on bringing junior into the world. Would've; he died in a fire a month ago.
Her siblings; they confused her though. She wondered how they react to her having a son and being a single mother. Would they expect her to whine about it like she have in her younger years? Would they offer her support even though she wouldn't want to impose on them?
It has been more than a year since she had lost her whole family in that dreaded train crash. She remembered how vain she was and what their last moments were together. She felt so horrible when she thought back on how she had argued with them. She remembered how she told them that Narnia was just a game they used to play and that's all it was ever going to be.
But she knew she was wrong. She knew that she shouldn't have said those things. But her damn pride always got in the way and she refused to believe in Narnia. She recalled her last visit to Narnia where she and her siblings had met a runaway prince who had been forced to abandon his throne. Maybe she wanted to forget because he was unattainable to her. Maybe that was the reason.
She was selfish. She had always been. Even after the death of her siblings, she was too concerned in her woes to care about others' lives. Susan scrutinized her face as she thought back on how selfish and horrible she was. Her selfishness for comfort had leaded her to become pregnant in the first place.
And yet, as she glanced at her son, she didn't feel one ounce of regret. She loved her son, she realized. She loved him more than anything in the world. He was her world now. A world she promised to herself that she wouldn't have end up like her. She would make sure he had hopes and dreams. That he would know right from wrong. That he would know that no one could bring him down except himself. She would raise her child and love him throughout the remainder of her life.
There would be tough times, she distinguished. She knew that there would be times in which she might be mad enough to hit him. However, she would apologize to him, and continue to hold him as she explains why she had done it and what he had done wrong and explain why it was wrong. To always make sure he understood that she loved him and he was the most important thing in the world to her.
She would tell him stories. Stories of her siblings and their adventures in Narnia. She wanted him to believe in Narnia. To believe in Lucy the Valiant, Edmund the Just, and Peter and Magnificent.
"They would love you" Susan told her child as he played with a strand of her hair, "I know they would love you even if they don't love me anymore" she said to him.
Lucy, her youngest sibling, would coo at her son. She would tell him stories of Narnia instead of Susan and take care of him if Susan was ever busy. She would play with him and give him hope.
Edmund, her younger brother, would teach him how to play chest. He would make sure her son had a good head on his shoulders and know that doing the wrong thing never brings happiness. He would teach him philosophy and help him to gain knowledge.
Her thoughts then drifted to her older sibling. Peter. To be honest, she didn't know how he would fare with her having a son. Peter was always protective of her. If he found out about her being a single mother because the father left her, he would probably make it his life's mission to hunt down to guy who got her pregnant in the first place and castrate him. That thought make her chuckle.
"Now that's not nice, Susan" she told herself, "You know that even if you aren't married and had a child, Peter would still love him after beating the crap out of the father" she chuckled again as she said that.
Peter would be a good surrogate father. He would teach her son that no one could tell him what to do. That he was his own man. He would hold her son like his own and love him like a son. He would help him with his homework and play catch with him. Yes, he would've been a good substitute father to her son.
"Oh man" Susan muttered with a goofy smile, "I just realized I'm going to raise you the way I think my siblings would if they were alive" she then turned her gaze back to her child who was looking back up at her with a curious expression. "Well, that's okay, isn't it? That means that you're aunt and uncles will be with you in some way, doesn't it?"
He just blew some bubbles with his drool as an answer. Susan sighed and began rocking him gently. Her voice in a soft hum as she did so.
"The Narnians would love you too" she whispered. "They would tell you stories and teach you their customs. Hell, you'd probably like them better than me" she gave a bitter smile and stroked his hair.
His blue eyes opened and looked at her with offense as if saying he would never think that. She laughed causing her chest to vibrate.
"You're right, sorry" Susan apologized to him, "But I mean it when I say that they would love you. Lucy, Edmund, Aslan, Trumpkin, Reepicheap, Trufflehunter, Peter, Caspian. They would all love you so much"
Her heart prickled as she said the last two names. She wondered if they were watching her right now. She wondered if Caspian took her for a whore for being unmarried and having a child. At least he was married when he had a son. Perhaps when she left Narnia for good, he was glad to not be in her repulsive presence anymore. Maybe he hated that kiss she gave him before parting even though she treasured that memory for her first kiss.
"You look like neither of them" Susan said at last. "But that's a good thing I'm sure. I don't know how I would deal if you looked like either of them" she smiled.
"I'm glad you don't look like either of them. That means I will love you for you and not because you look like two people I could never reach"
"But then again, why would you look like any of them? Your dad was a good-for-nothing son of a bitch who couldn't deal with the prospect of being a father!" she laughed out. She then looked down at her son with a look and continued "But don't ever say that, okay?"
Her son gave her a look of mischief causing her to grin despite herself.
"I mean it. You can't ever say those bad words until you're twenty, maybe thirty" Susan told him with a smirk. "Don't be like your mom when it comes to foul-mouthing, alright? Or at least don't mouth out when I'm around, okay?" she said as she poked his nose causing a small giggle to erupt from her son's lips. A breathtaking sound to Susan. He then started playing with her finger again.
As her son preoccupied himself with his mother's finger, Susan thought long and hard while staring at him.
"Hmm, I wonder what I will name you" she said at last. "I want it to be something not really common, but not something exotic that you would grow up to hate me for" she grinned as she said that. "I'm not going to name you after anyone in my family either because I want you to have your own name and not something from another family member"
Her son just sucked on her index finger while Susan was thinking. Her expression shown that she was thinking through her options and weighing the pros and cons.
"Man, this is hard" she muttered. She turned her attention to her son and he looked back at her. "How about Edwin?"
Her answer was a look of disbelief and squirming clearly saying "No way". Susan nodded in agreement at his implication.
"You're right. Edwin's a nice name, but it's not for you" she said with a nod. "How about Richard?" before her son could decline, she said "Wait, forget that one, it doesn't suit you either"
It was a moment of silence before Susan broke it with a verbal thought.
"I always liked the name Alphonse" murmured Susan. "It's always been a dream of mine that if I ever had a son, I would give him the middle name of Alphonse meaning 'Noble and ready'. But that doesn't solve our problem of your first name" she said as she looked at her son.
He looked at her with eyes that said that he agreed with her statement. Susan sighed and laid her head back to stare at the ceiling. Alphonse was a great name, but Susan felt it wasn't enough for her son to have as a first name. It had to be something that would have a great meaning to him. That something people would remember him for. She wanted him to be proud of his name.
Her blue eyed gaze looked at the ceiling as she pondered. She wondered what Aslan would name him. He would give him a great name for sure. Something that defined her son as everything she looked at him as.
As she thought of Aslan, she had to wonder: was this Aslan's course for her from the start? Was this the reason why she had stayed behind and chose to forget about Narnia? Was this wonderful child her purpose for living on in this world while her whole family was taken away by the angel of death?
She then felt the room get warmer. As if it was breathed on by a fresh warm breath of life. Her answer was clear in that moment. She knew her purpose as to why she was still here. It was because Aslan had given her a chance to be a mother. It was because she had to grow up and raise this child.
She didn't die because this child was waiting for her to bring him into this world.
And with that thought in mind, Susan smiled in gratitude towards the ceiling where she felt the majestic lion's presence watching over her and her son. She felt the pride radiate off of him as he gazed upon the newborn child that Susan had brought into the world.
"Thank you, Aslan" Susan said with grateful tears in her eyes. "Thank you for giving me the chance to meet my salvation" she cracked a sob from happiness.
She then brought her child up to her face buried her nose into his small shoulder.
"How about Joshua then?" Susan asked. "Joshua is the prefect name for you. It means 'salvation' or 'God rescues'"
Her reply was a smile—his first—from her child. Her world. Her precious salvation.
"That will be your name then" Susan said. "Hey there, I'm Susan Pevensie—your mom, and you are my son—Joshua Alphonse Pevensie. Welcome to the world" she said to her child with a smile and tears of happiness steaming down her face. She pulled her son into a welcoming hug.
"I'm so glad I finally get to meet you"
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Karin: Okay, this was random, but I hope you liked it all the same. I just wanted to introduce my character Joshua who is Susan's son. I'm typing a counterpart to this oneshot if anyone wants it up. It's going to be called "Invisible" and we'll see Joshua five years old and Susan being a mom.
See ya!
