Falling for Red-heads, Enemies, Best Friends and Arseholes – A Guide to Hogwarts
Prologue
Alex
James
Alice
Fred
Roxanne
Hi Strawberry. It's me… Daddy… This is a guide that me, your aunts and uncles are writing for you. A guide to Hogwarts and a set of rules, because believe me we've bee where we do NOT want you to go! Oh and by the way, if your reading this, it's your eleventh birthday so happy birthday Strawberry. Hope it's a good one.
Strawberry, seriously? Oh, by the way it's your Uncle James here. I finally persuaded your dad to give me the quill.
Please, please, please don't listen to a word he says, he's completely mental and not in a good way.
Seconded.
Aww, you know you love me!
Sad, but true.
Anyway. Considering these freaks haven't told you anything even remotely useful, I'll fill you in. Once there were these two idiots called Alex and Lily who did something very stupid that you should never, ever do. And if you must, use protection! Seriously STI's are a growing problem! What if one of them had caught chlamydia? They could have become infertile! Actually that might not have been a bad thing…
*CoughCough*
Oh. Right. I've got to make this appropriate for an eleven year old, don't I?
Pretty much, yeah.
Damn. Yeah, okay… starting again: Once upon a time there was a 'handsome'.
Oi! What's with the air quotes?
Fine, fine , the prince fell in love with his best mates little sister (Never a good idea!) and, how to put this delicately, in around eleven years and five months you'll be reading this wonderful guide, well you get the gist.
And that folks, brings us to rule number 1 – Don't fall for your best friends little sister .
(or brother, we don't discriminate against anybody).
Except Slytherins!
Hi the prologue's pretty short but the next chapter should hopefully be longer. If you want check out some of our individual stories under the pen names Addicted-to-sugar-quills and a-trip-to-honeydukes!