We've all lost a mom.
Katara's felt it the worst, probably. Having a constant reminder around her neck like some sort of shackle, chaining her to a past we both ran away from. She'd never call it that, of course. She loved Mom, and so did I. But there are moments while she's laughing, and the world's alright for once, when she'll grow quiet and touch her throat out of habit. One late night, I asked her why she didn't take it off. It would be just as strong a tie to Mom in her bedroll as it would be on her neck. She asked me why I still used Dad's knife.
But that's different, I said. Dad's knife isn't a memory. Someday, we'll have Dad again.
Sometimes I wonder if her bad memories are what drive Katara to mother Aang so much. The kid (or is he even a kid anymore?) never had his own parents – probably doesn't even know what a real family is outside of us. I watch him during the few calm times when we aren't running from something or he and my sister aren't dousing me in water. I imagine who his parents are – if his mother had the same large ears or way-too-gullible eyes. I try to picture the moment that she decided leave him with the Air Temple monks. Did she know then what he would become? Or was she just sad? I wonder if Aang's thinking the same thing.
I feel for Toph the most, though. Katara and I had a mother a long time ago, and Aang never even knew his, but it was different for Toph. She chose to leave hers; was almost eager to get away from them. She says she doesn't miss them, and I'm left curious how someone can be so unemotional about the people who raised her. How bad was her life that she wanted to escape and that they would let her? The time that Katara would trade anything for, that Aang only wishes he could have, Toph treats like a curse. But at night, when she doesn't think anyone hears, I know she misses her mom. And I know how acute the pain of separation can be. I remember.
We've all had pain like that. And it's not even limited just to the good guys, as Katara told us. The jerk who spent weeks chasing us across the world – and whose most recent job seems to have been a tea server (I laughed) – lost someone. She gave no details, but do we really need them?
The fact is, we all have parents. Sometimes, they're off to war, or they're at home waiting for us, or they're an evil Overlord planning to rule the world. Sometimes, they're just gone, disappeared, or maybe were never there to begin with. What we have now are memories of them -- painful, bitter memories at times and at others, just hopeful ones. They're all different, meaning something special to each of us – our own private tragedy.
But we're never so much different as we are the same. For, as I said, no matter who we are nor what the reason, we've all felt what it's like to lose someone.
We have all lost a mom.