"Yer kingliness!" A distant voice called, high-pitched, yet gravelly.
He did not move.
"Yer kingliness!" Called the voice once more, much closer now.
He let slip a low grumble before rolling onto his belly, relishing the heat of the room. Considering its proximity to an active volcano, it was always rather toasty inside. He loved the heat.
A fist began beating furiously at the door. "Yer kingliness! I know yer in there. Ain't been no other place, so this gotta be it."
Bowser drew in a slow, deep breath, then half-sighed and half-snarled. "What do you want, pint-size?"
The voice called through the door. "Yer kingliness, I want ya to get yer fat, lazy ass up out of that there room is what."
Bowser huffed, indignant. Where did the pipsqueak get off talking to him like that? Grumbling under his breath, he closed his sleepy eyes and buried his face in his arms. "Go jump in the lava, short stuff."
There came a short-lived pause before, "King B, this gotta stop." There was a rummaging at the door and the clinking of metal as the lock was picked. The door swung open with a low creak, and in stepped a small robed figure wearing a white, expressionless mask.
Bowser ignored him.
Shy Guy moved towards the king and over the rubble, decay, and rotting old food. "You can't shut yerself in here forever, boss. Things is getting bad out there. You ain't been out the castle in weeks."
Bowser opened one sleepy eye, unaffected by the little creature's pleas. "What do I care? Them's all adults. Take care of themselves. I'm sleeping."
The little figure stomped furiously. Normally very calm and collected, it had had enough of this nonsense now! "B, you're getting fat. You smell like old people and garbage, which is bad enough in a hot place like this. Ya been "sleeping" fer months. Ain't nobody seen you. Thems thinking we got no ruler. Getting a lot like anarchy out there, B. No ones knows what to do. People's getting hungry cause we live around a freaking volcano. Trade agreements expired with mushroom kingdom, so we ain't got food coming in at all. What little we get comes up to let you get fatter and lazier than ever."
The large koopa king stirred, sitting up at last, "So tell the mushroom kingdom to renew the agreements. Da set thems up way long ago before he went away and left all this rot to me."
Shy Guy was unamused. The anxiousness in his voice persisted. "Listen, fatso. Your da, the Great Morthophelus Koopa, was a mean old crank, and the only reason them agreements got set up, is cause them shroomers was too scared to cross him." The little creature strolled right up the the large Koopa, thrusting a finger accusingly at him. "Guess what, lazybones? They ain't afraid anymore. They know if they don't send nothing, ain't nothing happening. You just sleep and leave us, your royal subjects, to starve in the streets. If you don't get your ass up and get food from them soon, the people gonna mutiny and put your fat, ugly, scaley head on spikes at the foot of the volcano, and mine right beside yours, your kingliness. Ain't dying fer you. Ain't dying for this rock."
Bowser sat in silence for some time. "My kids-"
Shy Guy interrupted, "Is all born a thieves 'n' whores. They ain't smart enough, or they ain't caring enough. People can spit all they want on your Da for being the evil, terrible tyrant he was, but he cared. He shore weren't about to let us starve. You...you ain't evil like your Da, but you don't care. You're a fat, stupid, no good, lazy piece of shell-less dung, and yer gonna ruin the kingdom yer family carved outta this rock thousands a years ago."
Bowser lashed out and gripped the little creature in his large hand, positioning a claw at its throat. "Nobody speaks to me like that. I ain't nothing like you say."
Shy Guy was not afraid. "Yeah? Why don't you prove it, B?"
Bowser stared a moment, eyes glistening in the firelight. Dropping the little creature, he stretched, then moved for the door. "I will."