A/N: so another of the Puppies series, and yeah sure I can condense these.

/ |||| | You Just Never Knew | |||| \\\

/

You take in the air around you, this is your home, your room, and it's all packed away in boxes and bags.

The things you aren't taking with you are up in the attic, there's a truck outside with everything you needed in it.

So now you just stand in the middle of a room that was yours, can still be yours.

Maybe it was a bit of his too, but that doesn't matter, not right now.

Your plan works like perfection, funny 'cause usually you have horrible plans, yeah they work but still.

So this is your goodbye, to your father, your room, your home, to him.

The pack should be half way to the meeting with other wolves, you couldn't come along.

Wolves are too dangerous.

So you packed and set about making the beginnings of your life while he leaves you behind.

You scurry around yourself looking at all the self doubt and self loathing you packed away sitting in your chest.

You can unpack when you reach your goal, once you're away.

You made sure to ship everything out during the week.

No one knew, everything just disappeared a little at a time.

Fading into the background, Scott had even helped under the pretense of removing unnecessary clutter, with your excuse of growing up and moving on.

Derek had been in your bed the other night, your room staged to look like you were still living there.

It was his first night back into your bed; he spent a month out of it.

He was leaving you behind even now, but that's okay, you're used to it now.

You had sat down, or been sat down with your father.

Had a talk about your future, your education, your happiness.

It was your chance, and you took it.

Chattering on about Biochemical Engineering and all the great colleges and the awesome full ride you got, the one you spent weeks typing a paper for.

You sent out the letters with your dad, and you opened your letters together too.

It would seem that Penn State would be adding on a great member to their population.

It was a blessing; after all it was far enough.

So now you stand and look at the shell you are leaving behind, your bed made; your dresser is in your dad's room, extra space for him.

You know it will be back in here soon after you leave.

Pulling yourself from it, you move out into the hall and down stairs, to your dad who sits looking at a picture of your mom.

You wonder again if it was like watching her leave all over again, you leaving.

He is so proud of you, like you knew he would be.

He smiles now and you're both in the truck and driving to the airport.

Promises of phone calls once you land, of weekly phone calls and bi-weekly emails, and monthly letter all pushed into quick words and tight hugs.

You can wait for eternity, you can spend your whole like waiting; you were born waiting, just for him.

You think as you wish he was there with you and your dad.

And then its last goodbyes and waiting to file onto the plane and to Pennsylvania .

Its restless sleep, and air space, and eating snacks and more sleep and finally landing in your new home.

Your room mate is waiting, a sign with your name on it in her curvy writing and a smile on her face.

This could be okay, and you'll wait.

Wait for eternity.

Wait for just him.

You can do the running just as well though.

You can leave too.

You can make him cry too.

You can grow numb too.

All you have to do is try.

But its okay, you can be just as tough.

You can hurt just as much.

You'll pull and push and strive to be better.

To grow numb.

You know how to leave too.

You just never knew.