Disclaimer
This story is a fan fiction. We own nothing (save part of the plot, which at this point we don't have; Mandy and Ash, who are real people even though the names aren't theirs; and the apartment Ash and Mandy are in is rented by Ash's parents) 'This is a fanfiction of the following animes/mangas: Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh, YuYu Hakusho, Ranma 1/2, and Teen Titans. 'Tis also a fan fiction of two other fan fictions. They are "Lily of the Black Rose" by BlacVlvtn and the "Sailor Ranko" series. The "Sailor Ranko" series can be found at "burger bill. com" under the link entitled "Sailor Ranko Fanfiction" or something similar to that. From there, there are links to the different stories. "Lily of the Black Rose" is somewhere on this web site (under anime and Yu-Gi-Oh! rated PG-13). I strongly encourage you to read the other fan fictions before you read this fan fiction.
Author's Note
We were extremely hyper when we started writing this. "The ancient book of magic. com"is probably not a real website. If it is, please don't sue us. When "Sirius" appears we are talking about the star. Any time "Rei-Hiei" appears, we are talking about the Hiei that appears on the TV show. Any time Hiei appears, we are talking about a kid that was possessed when he was about three years old by Rei-Hiei, but you won't have to worry about that until the demon exorcising spell, AKU RYO TAI SAN, appears. The following list is of the characters we are using who transform into Sailor Senchi, the age we are using for them, their Senchi form, power/element, and where their Senchi form came from. Oh, and, in case you haven't read the "Sailor Ranko" series (which you should have by now, if not, find the website in the disclaimer and read the story) Female Ranma : Sailor Sun : Bunny/Serena/Usagi : Sailor Moon.Yugi : Tuxedo Mirage : Darien/Mamorou; Tuxedo Mask/Tuxedo Kaman
Ranma Saotome, 16, Sailor Sun, Fire, "Sailor Ranko" series
Akane Saotome (Akane has married Ranma), 16, Sailor Io, Lava, "Sailor Ranko" series
Mandy Good, 14, Sailor Sirius, Water, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Ash Cochran, 14, Sailor New Moon, Chaos/Shadows/Destruction, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Serenity Wheeler, 13, Sailor Serenity, Love, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Lily Kaiba, 15, Sailor Black Rose, Fire/Curses, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Téa Gardner, 15, Sailor Delta, Solar, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Yugi Mutou, 15, Tuxedo Mirage, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Raven Metrion, 16, Sailor Azarath, Darkness, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Misti Ryou, 16, Sailor Rhea, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Mai Valentine, 24, Sailor Harpy, Wind, "The Crossover of Insanity"
Ishizu Ishtar, 21, Sailor Alpha Star, Time, "The Crossover of Insanity"
The Crossover of Insanity
Part I: The Start of an Odd Summer Break
Chapter 1: What Came Through the Ceiling
by AEC1990, BlacVlvtn, and Kage
After being beaten up by demons, the Reikei Tantei (Yusuke's team) came crashing through the ceiling of a fan girl's friend's room in a three-story apartment building (the fan girl and her friend were on the first floor). Unfortunately for the Reikei Tantei, the fan girl was there and they had an unlimited supply of lead clothing and chains, duct tape, sledgehammers, and mallets. No one really knows why, but that's not important. The Reikei Tantei were worn out from the fight they lost. The fan girl and her friend were able to tie them from the ceiling. The fan girl and her friend went to "the ancient book of magic. com"and found the spell "How to Conjure Chibis" (technically, this spell isn't very ancient…):
Ingredients (measuring per person), Directions, and Chant
1 cup powderoodles
1 decagram chili powder
1 gram cinnamon sugar
1 pinch parsley flakes
1 gram garlic salt with parsley
1 gram oregano leaves
2 teaspoons basil leaves
½ teaspoon garlic powder
3 cut yams
1 box raspberry Jell-O
1 box lemon Jell-O
8 oz. tomato sauce
1 herring
2 teaspoons salt
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups flour
Mix well in well-greased cauldron (sizes may vary). For one chibi, the cauldron should be about the size of a dishwasher. Recite spell:
Chibi, chibi, come alive!
Chibi, chibi, don't you die!
Chibi, chibi, we want you!
Chibi, chibi, you will be
In every way, exactly
Like the true you!
(In other words,
Like the person's chibi that you are)
After they followed the directions, the cauldron spewed red smoke.. From the smoke came the Chibi Reikei Tantei. Chibi Kuwabara said, "Where are we?" in his dumb voice.
Chibi Kurama (the smart one) said, "We have obviously been conjured from the world of the chibis," as Chibi Hiei hit Chibi Kuwabara on the head with one of the girls' mallets.
"Yeah, baka ningen," muttered Chibi Hiei
authors' note: before this time, all big characters had duct tape over their mouths.
Kurama asked, "Who are you?"
"Shut up, you!" shouted the fan girl while throwing her Chibi Kurama key chain at him.
"You hit me with me! I feel so insulted!" wailed Kurama.
Meanwhile the fan girl was hugging a struggling Chibi Hiei, and Chibi Kurama was sitting at Kurama's feet hugging the key chain.
Kurama looked down and said, "I keep getting smaller, and my mentality goes with it!"
Chibi Kuwabara was picking his nose idly. Chibi Yusuke was supposedly observing his surroundings and read the chains box:
"Lead chains? Big Ones, I don't think you'll be able to get out of there."
The fan girl's friend asked "How did you get out of the duct tape, Kurama?"
Her eyes never left the internet page she was looking at.
"…uhh… I don't really know," was all Kurama could say because he truly didn't know.
"Oh well, I'll take the duct tape off all of you," said the fan girl's friend as waved her hand and the duct tape disappeared.
Hiei suddenly shouted "Leave. Him. ALONE!"
"Are you talking to me, Dragon-Boy?" asked the fan girl.
"Exactly!" shouted Hiei.
"Fine!" she said as she let go of the chibi which ran away immediately.
"Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" shouted the miniaturized Hiei as a little black lizard crawled from behind him.
Every one, except Hiei and the chibis, were laughing, but Hiei was trying real hard not to laugh. The chibis were frightened.
Yusuke shouted, "Haha! Real threatening, Hiei!"
"Give…Him…A break…He's…A chibi," said Hiei, putting a lot of effort into talking without laughing.
"Spaz!" said the fan girl's friend as a small grey cat walked into the room.
"Kitty!" said the fan girl happily.
"May. I. See. CAT!" shouted Kuwabara.
Everyone else sweat dropped.
The fan girl's friend said, "No, not yet, the lizard shall be much fun for Spaz."
Spaz ate the lizard, and Hiei swung into Yusuke who hit Kuwabara who hit Yusuke who hit Hiei who hit Kurama who slammed into the wall. The fan girl shouted, "Ahhh! My baby! Are you okay!"
Kurama replied, "Well I am hanging from your ceiling!"
"Ah, but there you are wrong! It's not my ceiling!"
"It's mine!" said the fan girl's friend.
"Then who's the blonde?" asked Kurama.
"She is my friend, Mandy, and a dedicated fan girl of yours. She is now drooling on your chibi's head. Perhaps you would like to help it," said Mandy's friend as Kurama was magically set free.
"Group hug!" shouted Mandy as she hugged Kurama AND his chibi.
Kurama was frozen stiff with fear. Yusuke was laughing while Chibi Kuwabara was picking his nose and sitting on top of Spaz who was hungrily watching Chibi Hiei try to conjure his Dragon. Chibi Yusuke was missing, and Kuwabara was asleep.
"Where'd I go?" asked Yusuke when he realized his chibi was missing.
"Interesting, there are eight freak shows in my room," said Mandy's friend as she finally looked up from her computer
"You—hehheh—are…right…there…heh…heh," said Hiei.
Mandy heard Hiei and said, "Uh-oh, better not laugh, Dragon-Boy! Don't laugh, Dragon-Boy! You might never hear the end of it!"
Mandy's friend asked, "The big-haired freak show is trying not to laugh; his name is Hiei, right?"
"Hiei is my name. I'm the chibi one…Now back to what I was doing…" said Chibi Hiei who was distracted by the sound of his name.
"The dumb-looking freak show is asleep; didn't you say his name was Kuwabaka, Mandy?" continued Mandy's friend.
"It's close enough," she replied.
"The black-haired freak show is looking for his chibi: his name is Yusuke, right?"
"That's my name, now where am I?" said Yusuke.
Mandy said, "Speaking of Kuwabaka, let's get rid of him."
"Gladly," said Mandy's friend, "the Sahara Desert could always use another human inhabitant."
She opened the window, magically unchained Kuwabara, and barked, "You, follow the cat!"
Spaz leaped out the window followed by Kuwabara and ran through a black hole. Mandy's friend shut the window, and a few seconds later Spaz reappear on Mandy's friend's dresser.
"YAY!" shouted Mandy.
Mandy's friend shouted "MR. FOX DEMON, IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!" when Kurama hadn't moved in a few minutes, and when Kurama didn't move, she said "Fine, I'll use my mallet," and threw a mallet at Kurama who fell onto Mandy who shouted, "Ooooh! Thank you, Ash! Mine, mine, MINE!"
Ash giggled, pointed at Hiei and said, "Look at the big-hared—Hiei, right?—freak show. He is trying so hard not to laugh that he is as red as a beet."
Mandy looked up and said, "Better not laugh, Dragon-Boy!"
Spontaneously, Yusuke's and Hiei's chains rearranged to the point the chains holding them to the ceiling are around their waists and Yusuke shouted, "Must. Find. Self."
"Fine, I'll let you down," said Ash.
Yusuke was let down and started looking for his chibi until he was hit in the face by Chibi Yusuke's strongest Spirit Gun. Yusuke started crying and Hiei started laughing.
"He is laughing," said Ash with wide eyes that showed her amazement.
"Omigod! Is Dragon-Boy laughing? It's a miracle! Or maybe it's the end of the world…" said Mandy, shifting her eyes around nervously.
"Hey, Mandy, you let go of the fox demon," said Ash with the amazement now showing in her voice as well as on her face.
"I did? Omigod! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!" shouted Mandy.
"No, it is not the apocalypse," said Ash in a now irritated vice
"What are you talking about! Hiei laughed for Max's sake!" shouted Mandy.
"I did?" asked Hiei.
Mandy said, "Yes, and now we're all gonna die!"
"No, we are not. Well, technically we all will die eventually, but not now," said Ash as she handed her a Bible and told her to read Revelation.
After Mandy had read the book, she said, "Oh."
"Now do you see that 'tis not Armageddon?"
"But…But…Dragon-Boy laughed!" Mandy whimpered.
"I REALLY don't remember laughing. (Well at least not in a while…)" said Hiei
Mandy knocked on Hiei's forehead and said, "Your brain must be broken or something."
"I don't remember laughing…" Hiei whimpered, "I really don't remember laughing…"
He started to cry.
"Wow!" Mandy exclaimed. "Not only can he laugh, but he can cry too. I didn't even know he had tear ducts."
"Why is my face all wet?" Hiei asked suddenly.
"You were crying," Ash answered him.
"I was?" he asked confusedly. "I don't remember that either."
"Dragon-Boy has amnesia now too?" Mandy said, her head spinning from all the new information.
"Did you know that when one has been possessed, one does not remember what one did while one was possessed?" Ash put in.
"So…Dragon-Boy's not crazy? Darn." Mandy said, disappointed at the loss of a potential companion in insanity.
"Don't go there…yet…" Ash continued. "We don't know if he was possessed or not."
"But…If he's not possessed, then this fan-fic will have no plot!" Mandy yelled at random.
"'Fan-fic'?" Hiei wondered aloud.
"Yeah, this one we're in," Mandy sort of explained, looking around the room. "Hey, where'd Kurama the Hottie go?"
"He is hiding," Ash stated simply.
"Awwwww!" Mandy shouted as she began to search. "Oh, Kurama! Where are you my oh-so-sexy obsession?"
"He is in the closet."
"You are amused by this?" Hiei questioned.
"Quite," Ash said, smirking.
Meanwhile, Many was searching the closet. "I've found you!…I think…no, I haven't. Dammit! Please excuse my French."
"He is somewhere in the shelf, and we both know that's not French," Ash pointed out.
"Yes, it is! What do you know about French!" Many shot back as she moved random objects on the shelf. "There you are you beautiful bastard!" she shouted, hugging Kurama around the neck. "Never leave me again!"
"Oh, jeeze, you really should think about laying off him for a while!" Ash advised her. "He's obviously very frightened of you. If you really want him to love you, let him get to know you first. You don't want him to get to know you as the frightening, obsessive fan girl."
Mandy simply whined.
"Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?" Ash said sarcastically.
"But I want him to love me NOW!" Mandy said impatiently.
"Good for you, but you'll never win his heart acting the way you are acting now," she said, turning to the computer.
"You will strangle him before long." Hiei pointed out as he noticed Kurama turning blue.
"Oh no!" Mandy gasped as she released him, allowing his face to return to its normal color, though it had been a nice shade of teal. "I'm so sorry!" She then backed away for fear of harming him more.
Ash said something in Latin and a cage appeared, trapping Kurama in the cubbyhole shelf.
"What did you do that for?" Mandy complained. "How's he supposed to love me from a cage?"
Just then, the computer began to beep, catching Ash's attention.
"'Tis an IM from Raven…" she announced. "Oy!…"
Mandy hopped down from the shelf and went to the computer. "What's it say?"
"One of Sailor Chaos's followers is loose in one of Tokyo's parks." Ash read.
"Crap," she said, suddenly serious. "Now, of all times?"
"Rainbow Moon Crystal Power!" Ash shouted, activated Quick Transform, which excluded the light show and implied nudity.
"Sirius Crystal Power!" Mandy activated her Quick Transform. The American Sailor Scouts generally prefer Quick Transform, unless they just want to look cool before a fight.
"Come, or die," Sailor New Moon ordered.
"Huh? Come where?" Sailor Sirius wondered. Unlike Sailor Moon, Sailor Sirius didn't magically become smart when she transformed.
"You'd be coming either way," Sailor New Moon said.
"Oh yeah. Well, in any case, couldn't they help us? We might need it," she added, gesturing towards the Yu Yu boys.
"They are who I told to come," Sailor New Moon informed her.
"Ooooh, well I feel stupid…" Sailor Sirius said, realizing this suddenly. "What about Kurama? He's still in a cage.
"Yes, let me out," he called from inside the cage.
"But I just put him in there..." Sailor New Moon protested.
"So what?" the other two said in unison.
Sailor New Moon said some more weird Latin stuff and Kurama was free.
"Yay!" Sailor Sirius exclaimed.
"Help me!" Hiei yelled at random.
"With what?" Sailor Sirius said. "You're perfectly capable of murder!"
"What do you mean?" he said ignorantly.
"You could kill us all if you wanted to!"
"I can?"
"Yessss…" Sailor Sirius said slowly, poking his face.
"Owie!" Hiei cried. "Mommy!"
Sailor Sirius looked at him in shock. "One: your mom's dead; Two WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"
"Since when?" Hiei asked in bewilderment.
At this, Sailor Sirius gave up on him completely. "Oh my… For Max's sake; let's just go."
Sailor New Moon on the other hand, still had some questions for the little freak. "Hiei, what year is it?"
"Year is 1993," he answered. "Why?"
"Hiei, I was two in 1993," Sailor Sirius said.
"You're two?" he asked innocently.
"No, she is fourteen," Sailor New Moon corrected. "The year is 2005."
"Idiot Dragon-Boy," Sailor Sirius commented.
"I know what year it is, and I'm no idiot, Stupid Head," "Dragon-Boy" shot back.
"That's the Hiei I know!" Sailor Sirius exclaimed. "Welcome back, Dragon-Boy!"
"I went nowhere, Idiot Girl," came Hiei's reply.
"Who're you calling an idiot! In case you haven't noticed, you're the one tied to the ceiling," Sailor Sirius observed.
Just then, a very s85"
"…possessed Lily. You don't think…?"
"Hiei's been possessed for the last twelve years."
"What do you mean?" asked Kurama.
"But… Hiei's been mean his whole life… and he's like… fifteen… at least," Sailor Sirius said confusedly.
"How else can you explain it?"
"Short-… I mean long- term memory loss?" she suggested.
"Let's go see Raven…" Sailor New Moon said. "Sailor Azarath."
"Right," Sailor Sirius said, nodding in agreement.
Meanwhile, Kuwabara was wandering the Sarah Desert in search of the small grey fuzzball known as Spaz.
"Where'd Kitty go?" he said, looking about. "Kittyyyyy!" he wailed.
Tokyo, 8:00 AM
The monster roared as Sailor Black Rose screamed "Black Roses of Fury!" her best attack which split the monster in two.
"It divided!" Sailor Delta exclaimed.
"Divide and conquer; that's what I always say," added Sailor Black Rose cockily.
"It divided," Sailor Harpy began, "And both halves are as strong as the original which makes it likely that it shall conquer."
"Oops," was all Sailor Black Rose could say.
"Keep it in the park;" cried Sailor Azarath. "We have to wait for New Moon and Sirius!"
Suddenly a light flashed and the words "Chaos Strike" were heard. A black ball of energy engulfed the monster completely, then disappeared in seconds to reveal that it had indeed been destroyed.
Sailor Sirius yelled "Hi!" and waved, causing everyone else to sweatdrop.
"Good ol' Sirius," commented Sailor Black Rose.
"Come on, you stupid chibi," growled Hiei as he yanked on a string connected to his chibi which tried to walk in the other direction.
Chibi Yusuke bounced along in a straight jacket giggling as Yusuke said, "Calm down, little guy, you're gonna hurt yourself"
Chibi Kurama, the only one who was actually behaving, simply hummed contentedly in Kurama's arms.
"How did we get to Tokyo in 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds?" Kurama wondered aloud.
"Magic," Sailor Sirius responded with wide eyes as Time Zone music from nowhere began to play.
"New Moon! Sirius!" Sailor Azarath exclaimed worriedly.
"Yessam?" Sailor Sirius responded, bending over backwards in order to see her.
"Someone here is possessed!"
"I was right!" shouted New Moon.
"So Dragon-Boy's possessed?" said Sirius. "Yay, we have a plot!"
"What in the censored existence are you talking about?" said Black Rose, just before a random anvil fell on her head.
"Never mind," Sirius said.
"Do NOT use that language in front of people younger than you!" New Moon scolded.
"I can say that I want, when I want, and in front of whoever I want!" Black Rose shot back, despite the effects of the anvil.
"Whomever," corrected New Moon.
"Who cares!"
"I do!"
"What authority do you have!"
"I was Princess Serenity's younger sister."
"WAS being the key word."
"Children, children, please," Sirius put in. "Be quiet and let the grown-ups handle things."
"Rhea, Azarath, Harpy, and Alpha are the only ones here older than me," Black Rose pointed out.
"I— " New Moon began.
"Die," Black Rose said.
"Eep!" Sirius yelped, diving behind Kurama. "Please don't hurt me!"
New Moon used Pluto's Dead Scream, causing Black Rose extreme pain.
"Why did you do that!" Sailor Rhea shouted over Black Rose's screams.
"Stay out of this," Black Rose ordered her, once she was done screaming.
"But she—"
"Are you asking to die?" Black Rose growled.
"Now you're sounding like you're boyfriend," said New Moon.
"Don't drag Joey into this!" Black Rose whispered.
"Stop fighting, you guys!" Sirius pleaded, hugging Kurama's arm in terror. "Sailor Scouts are supposed to be allies at the very least!"
"Stay out of this, you stupid girl!" yelled Black Rose.
"I created you, Lily Kaiba!" Sirius shouted back as her eyes filled with tears. "You should be thankful!" She then began sobbing into Kurama's shoulder.
"Umm…" said Kurama as he silently screamed for help.
Sirius, totally oblivious, threw her arms around his neck, this time without strangling him.
"What boyfriend?" Black Rose said innocently.
"Don't lie," said New Moon.
"Who says I'm lying?"
"You ARE lying."
"No, I am not."
"Then what's that make of Joey, If he's not your boyfriend!"
"But, you have to go out with him!" Sirius shouted through her tears. "If you don't, you'll only die sooner."
"Where—? Who—? How do you know about him?" Black Rose said in bewilderment.
"I told you! I am your creator! I know everything about you!"
"Not you," said Black Rose.
"She only knows about you because of me," Sirius said.
"Wha-What do you mean?" stuttered Black Rose.
"You're a fictional character," New Moon said.
"But, I'm real," Black Rose observed.
"You are now," Sirius added.
"What do you mean 'now'?"
"None of you, except Mandy and me, were real before Mandy and I realized our powers," New Moon began. "We used our powers to bring you, your friends, some of your rivals, and others to life. When you were created, you were told that you weren't originally real."
"You must have forgotten," offered Sirius.
"How could anyone forget something like that?" Rhea asked.
"I dunno, but I did," Black Rose said simply.
"Use correct English!" New Moon scolded.
Sailor Black Rose: What do you mean "English"? We're speaking Japanese.
"Apparently, something having to do with our powers lets us understand each other even though we are speaking different languages," New Moon explained. "But, still…"
"I think that's enough, New Moon," said Azarath.
"Fine…" said New Moon reluctantly, looking around the park. "Where's Tuxedo Mirage?"
"I haven't seen him all week," Sailor Delta realized.
"Joey and I went by the Kame Game Store earlier," said Black Rose. "He wasn't there… Come to think of it Mr. Mutou wasn't there either…"
"Then where is he?" asked New Moon.
"Here I am," Tuxedo Mirage announced as he appeared in a flash of light.
"Where have you been!" shouted New Moon.
"Grandpa is moving his shop to somewhere in Texas," he informed her. "I should be there now."
"Daddy was thinking about moving to Texas too," Black Rose added.
"May we come too?" begged the other Senchi from outside of Texas.
Suddenly, Sailors Moon, Sun, and Io appeared in a burst of light.
"Did I miss anything?" Moon asked.
"Other than everyone expressing that they wanted to go to Texas?" said Sirius.
"Can you take Sailor Sun and Sailor Io with you?" Moon requested.
"Probably, provided Lily's dad pays for them," she responded, leaning against Black Rose expectantly.
"He might…" she said.
"Lily, where are you?" said Seto's voice from somewhere far off.
"I gotta go now," said Moon. "See you!" And she left.
"Transform back, now!" New Moon ordered everyone.
"Raven, can Joey come back now?" Black Rose requested.
"What was he doing here?" said Tuxedo Mirage.
"We were about to have a Senchi meeting," said Delta.
That doesn't tell me why they were here."
"He found out about our powers," she explained.
"Transform back, NOW!" New Moon said again.
Everyone immediately transformed back into their original forms as Joey appeared from a black hole. "What'd I miss?" he said.
"We're going to America, big brother," said Serenity excitedly.
"Oooo-kaaaay," he said.
At that moment, Seto Kaiba appeared in the clearing in which the detransformed Senchi were standing. "LILY BARBIE KAIBA, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN! I've been so worried. You say you're going to a park, and a monster attacks the park that you say you would be . Don't you ever scare me like that again!"
"DON'T EVER USE THAT censored NAME AGAIN!" she screamed, as the random anvil appeared again, and fell on her once more. She got up again and added, "Especially not in front of my American friends, but I would prefer that you do not use it at all…"
"What's Barbie?" asked Joey.
Suddenly, Lily began to melt. "Heeelp! I'm melting!" Soon, there was a Lily-shaped puddle where she had been standing.
"What the heck happened?" said Mandy.
Lily then walked out from behind some trees. "It's a sort of self-destruct mechanism I was born with. Every time my middle name is said twice within five minutes, I melt."
"Whoa," said Mandy, sounding a lot like Keaneu Reaves.
"Well, anyway, wanna go shoot some pool?" Lily suggested, as though all was normal.
"Sure!" Mandy agreed.
"Hey!" shouted Joey. "What about my question!"
"I can show you a bunch of Barbies," Ash offered, "but I don't have any with me, and if I had my way, I probably wouldn't be able to show you any Barbies." This caused Lily to melt again, only to reappear a couple of seconds later.
"In the meantime, let's go to the pool hall before I forget the idea I had," said Mandy. "I wanna use this lampshade." She held up a lampshade featuring several versions of female Hiei, some of which were blonde and wearing pink.
"You've been carrying that around with you?" Ash said in amazement.
"Is there something wrong with that?" Mandy wondered.
"What the censored is that?" said Hiei, as the anvil fell on him as well.
"It's a lampshade, Ding-dong," answered Mandy.
"No, the thing on it," he said.
"Oh!" Mandy shouted excitedly. "Why, it's a couple female pictures of you, Dragon-boy!"
As Hiei began seething, Kurama randomly became a hippie. "Whoa, dude, Hiei, like… chill… just go with the flow, man…" he said.
"I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE!" Ash screamed. "AKU RYO TAI SAN!" She hurled a flaming scroll at Hiei.
"Eek! Ash's gonna kill us!" Mandy yelped, as she grabbed Kurama's hand and ran to the pool hall.
"Ack! There are two of me!" Possessor Hiei yelled, and ran after Mandy.
"Oh no!" Ash exclaimed.
"What?" said Yugi.
"Mandy told me that she wanted to get Kurama drunk…" said Ash. "That's what the lampshade's for… I'm sure she's gonna get drunk too… she might get the possessor Hiei—"
"Here!" Hiei yelled.
"—drunk too…Where are the chibis?"
Just then, Chibi Hiei began hiccuping, as Chibi Kurama laughed stupidly while wearing a lampshade.
"Oh my gosh! They're already drunk!" Ash said.
"Yipe!" shouted Yusuke. "We're all gonna die!"
"Going to, no we are not going to die," Ash said to him. "What time is it in the Woodlands, Texas right now?"
"I left at some point after 1:00 AM," said Yugi.
"Follow the string to find Rei-Hiei!" sang Chibi Hiei.
Meanwhile at the bar, Mandy was singing and dancing on a pool table with a drunken Kurama. "Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebooooob Squarepaaaaants!"
"What are we singing about anyway?" asked Kurama as he put an arm around her.
"I dunno," she said. "Who cares!"
"Oh my God! It's a smurf!" yelled Rei-Hiei, pointing at a corner.
At the sound of the word "smurf," Mandy screamed, causing many of the bar-goers who were not yet drunk to stare at her.
"I dun see no smurf…" said Kurama. "Where'd it go?"
"Kill it!" she screamed. "I'm afraid of smurfs…"
Back at the park, Joey was asking who Rei-Hiei was.
"HE IS THE ONE WHO POSSESSED ME!" Hiei yelled, then adding quietly, "He was actually quite nice to me…"
"Damage can be done… Lots of damage… Need… Stop… Damage…" said Ash, rocking back and forth on the grass. "'Tis coming… soon… big…" Suddenly she stood and yelled, "RAINBOW MOON CRYSTAL POWER!", transforming into Sailor New Moon.
"Oooohh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea!" Chibi Kurama sang.
"Spongebob Squarepants!" Chibi Hiei answered.
"Chaos Strike!" New Moon yelled.
"Owie…" said Chibi Hiei.
"Hey, I can't move… How am I supposed to dance like this?" Chibi Kurama protested.
At the same time, back in the ba asked.
"Are you kidding?" Mandy yelled. "I'm afraid of smurfs! But… Maybe David can do it…" She shifted her eyes around once more as David Risley appeared in a flash of white light.
"Who's he?" asked Kurama.
"Why it's David the smurf-catcher!" Mandy explained.
"You invited another guy on our date?" Kurama said.
"What are you talking about?" said Mandy confusedly.
"I asked you out; don't you remember?" Kurama said.
"No."
"But… but… I LOVE YOU!" he wailed.
"Oh, well in that case, I could be persuaded to remember…" Mandy said mischeviously.
Back at the park, another monster appeared.
"It's a monkey!" yelled Chibi Kurama. "I wanna hug it…"
"How dare you?" said Raven.
"How dare I what?" asked New Moon.
"Shut up and transform!" Lily yelled. "Black Rose Crystal Power!" Immediately, she used her Black Rose chain to encircle the monkey-monster with a chain of black rose pendants.
"Aww… I wanted to hug it!" complained Chibi Kurama.
"Hug it quickly! It must be destroyed!" New Moon commanded him.
"Yay!" he yelled, and grabbed hold of its tail.
"Stop being gay, you – er – freakish –um – miniature Kurama-clone-thing-a-ma-bob!" Yusuke yelled at him.
Back at the bar thing, Kurama said "What do you mean by 'persuaded'?"
"Are you kidding?" said Mandy. "I'm drunk! Can't you think of anything?"
"Well even if I could tihink of anything, I couldn't do it because I'm paralyzed!" he pointed out.
"Oh yeah… maybe I can un-paralyze you…" she offered, and attempted to help him, somehow breaking one of his bones in the process. "Oops. Sorry!"
"I didn't feel it anyway," he said.
"Wow, are you really that drunk?" Mandy marveled.
"I dunno…"
Suddenly, Mandy yelled "HI!" as some strange drunken man appeared.
"Greetings, fellow Earthlings, how are you this fine night?" he said, before collapsing.
"It's day you freak," said Kurama to the lump on the floor.
Mandy on the other hand stuck her foot in the air and said, "Bob the Sock says hi."
"Oh great sock! I am not worthy of your greetings!" Rei-Hiei said, bowing down.
"Ow! Owie! Owie!" Kurama yelled at random.
"Did you just start feeling that broken bone?"
Later outside the pool hall, bar, thingy, Yusuke was bursting into a room. "I heard Kurama scream in pain!" Everyone except Yugi, Sailor New Moon, and Seto, followed Yusuke into the building.
"Miser Kaiba, you need to keep… stop many of them from getting drunk," said New Moon.
"I don' wanna!" he complained.
"Do it or die," New Moon commanded.
"How?" said Seto.
"Pay the bartender to kick them out."
"How much?"
"How should I, an American with almost no understanding of anything Japanese, know how much yen to pay the bartender to kick a bunch of teens out of a bar? Haggle with him! That's the only advice I can give! Why the heck are you asking me this!" New Moon said all at once.
"Fine!" said Kaiba, giving up and walking into the bar.
"Hi Daddy!" said Lily. "Oi! I'm already drunk. Cool!"
"Lily Barbie Kaiba, you're too young to drink beer, champagne or wine!" he exclaimed.
"I got drunk on Coke," she responded.
"How is that possible?" David asked her. "Coke's not alcoholic."
"If you buy it in a bar, it's alcoholic."
"I thought we were in a pool hall."
"We are."
"How can we be in both?"
"The bar is in the pool hall."
"I understand now… I think… Do I understand?"
"Ack! It moved!" Rei-Hiei yelled.
"It really is a smurf!" Mandy screamed. "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"
"Smurfs aren't real," Kaiba said matter-of-factly.
"They are too!" Mandy argued. "Here, have a drink." She then handed him a large glass of some alcoholic beverage.
Kaiba finished the drink in one gulp, then said, "Who's paying for these drinks?"
"I think it's on my tab," Lily said.
"How long is your tab?" asked a random guy.
"I don't know," she said. "I think the bartender lost part of it a while ago… Here have another drink, Daddy," she then gave Seto a gigantic Bloody Mary, which he also downed in one gulp.
"I challenge you to a duel!" Joey yelled. "When I'm not drunk… Here Kaiba drink this… It's good for you. (Not!)" He handed Kaiba his 3rd glass of large alcoholic beverage which he downed in one gulp.
"If you wanna loose, Mutt, I'll accept," he said, drinking his 4th through 8th large glasses of alcoholic beverage in one gulp each. "My head hurts!"
"Welcome to the Drunk Side!" Rei-Hiei announced.
Outside, Sailor New Moon was playing "Minuet 1" on her violin with her music floating in front of her.
"Kaiba's taking forever!" said Yugi.
"No problem with that as long as he gets his job done," said New Moon as she continued playing.
"The music's beautiful, Ash," muttered Yugi
Sailor New Moon finished playing "Minuet 1" and said, "No, it really isn't all that pretty. It was actually quite awful. Billions of people can play better than I am."
She stowed her violin in subspace and retrieved a boom box with a CD of the pieces her school's orchestra played during the final concert of her sixth grade year.
"If they're not out by the time this track is over, I'm gonna go in there and drag them out!" growled Yugi with a hint of anger in his voice.
Sailor New Moon said, "You don't have to do that. Once this sequence of five tracks that are all part of this one piece, 'Medieval Scenes,' there's a particular spring in China that I wanna drop Rei-Hiei into… We're all going there once it's over."
Inside the bar
"I see you take after your mother, Yusuke," said Kurama with a small laugh once he noticed that Yusuke was drunk out of his mind.
"Oooh, I don't feel so good…" muttered Rei-Hiei as he ran to the restroom.
"I guess he couldn't hold his liquor," laughed Mandy as Yusuke started doing some stupid dance.
"Everybody do the—" he shouted before he ran into the wall and shouting, "Ow!"
Outside, Sailor New Moon's boom box finished playing the last sequence of "Medieval Scenes."
China, Juensko Springs
"What are we doing here? My head hurts…" groaned Rei-Hiei just before he was pushed into Spring of Drowned Girl.
"Oops!" cried Yusuke as he stepped toward the spring. "Sorry! My mistake let me—"
"Don't step in any spring," said Sailor New Moon in a semi-amused voice. "If you do, you will be cursed into becoming whatever drowned in that spring last whenever you are splashed with cold water. That's Spring of Drowned Girl."
"Yipe!" gasped Yusuke as he jumped away from the spring and nearly falling into another that was near it.
Rei-Hiei swam the shore; and once he stood up on the bank, he found almost everyone staring at him.
"What?" asked Rei. " Why's everyone staring at me?"
"Uhhh… Mandy…" asked Kurama, "How many alcoholic beverages did you give me? Hiei's become a girl!"
"I lost count at 600, and he is a girl," said Mandy. Hey, Blac, if you gave Kurama 600 drinks, why isn't he dead?
Suddenly, a mysterious creature came plummeting through the air and landed in Spring of Tiny Drowned Phoenix. Soon another creature did the same, only it landed in Spring of Drowned Purple Telletubbie.
"Boiling water for you!" said Sailor New Moon in an unusually cheerful voice as she dumped the boiling water from the huge pot she was carrying on the two creatures that had just appeared. The tiny phoenix turned into Mandy's bodyguard, Kage; and the telletubbie turned into Ash, Mandy, and Kage's 7th grade science teacher, Ms. Clark.
"What are you doing here?" said Mandy. "I thought I sent you to the ends of the Eart as punnishment!"
"What for?" asked Sailor New Moon.
"He owes me a penny for a Powerade."
"That makes no sense… Hey! I thought you were drunk!" said New Moon as Ms. Clark smacked Mandy upside the head.
"Oh No!" shouted Kage, "She followed me here!"
"They threw us out at the same time, buffoon!" shouted Ms Clark.
"They did?" asked Kage in a disbelieving voice.
"It's around three AM in America right now…" noted Sailor New Moon to herself.
Poof!
Outside some fancy new hotell in Spring, Texas, 3 AM, Female Rei-Hiei asked, "What are we doing here?" as she looked around and said "Where is here?"
"We are in Texas. If you don't have a place to go, Mr. Kaiba will pay for your stay here," informed Sailor New Moon. (Kage and Mrs. Clark are at their own houses)
Poof!
Kurama, Mandy, Yugi, and Sailor New Moon are outside St. Luke's Hospital. "Why are we at a hospital?" asked Kurama.
Mandy said "I broke some unknown bone of yours when we were drunk."
Sailor New Moon asked "How did I know that?"
"Whoa… deep…"
"Since you broke a bone, you need to go into the ER."
Kurama shouted, "I'm not going in there, and you can't make me!"
Sailor New Moon said, "You're still paralyzed."
Mandy said, "How'd we get all the way here? Confusion!"
"I'm still in my Senshi form. I can still use my magic. You figure it out," said New Moon as she leaned against a wall.
"Aw, you make life so hard!" wailed Mandy.
"Think. I used the word in a sentence."
"But you also used the word 'think,'" saud Mandy as she clutched her head. "Ow. It hurts!"
"Two sentences before that one," said New Moon as she smirked.
"'I'?"
"After that."
"Umm… 'can'?"
"Three words after that."
"Oooohhh! 'Magic'."
"You finally got it right!… Are you sure you're not drunk?"
"No, but I ain't complaining."
"'AIN'T' IS NOT A WORD! 'No, you are not sure,' or 'No, you are not drunk'?"
"Don't complain about my grammar, I might be drunk!"
Sailor New Moon said, "'Tis time to go to the hospital."
Later, Kurama needed to be left in the hospital. Mandy insisted upon going with him, but Ash wouldn't let her. Sailor New Moon said "We were never supposed to leave my parents' apartment, and we wouldn't have if it weren't for the monster! We have to go back!"
"But, Ash, I can't leave him!" wailed Mandy as she super glued herself to Kurama. "See?"
Sailor New Moon grabbed Mandy's collar and forcefully said, "Come on!
"Never!" wailed Mandy as she squeezed Kurama's arm until it turns blue. "You can't make me!"
A nearby nurse said "You need to let go of his arm. If you don't, his arm will need to be amputated due to lack of oxygen!"
Mandy hugged him and said, "Is that better?"
"'Tis time to go!" said New Moon as she teleported herself, Mandy, and Yugi to apartment building's parking lot.
"Noooooo! What have you done!" wailed Mandy as she collapsed into hysterical tears.
"You have somewhere to be right, Yugi?" asked Sailor New Moon.
"I can walk there from here," answered Yugi.
Sailor New Moon smiled and said, "OK, 'bye!" before she teleported herself and Mandy to Ash's room.
Mandy was still sobbing as Sailor New Moon said, "The clock reads 5:00 AM."
Mandy screamed, "What do I care! You took me from my Kurama!"
"He can leave the hospital at noon," said New Moon in a voice that a kindergarten teacher may use to explain to a student that one plus one equaled two.
"But I wanna see him now!" wined Mandy as Sailor New Moon detransformed.
"Oh, well…" said Ash, "Twenty-four hours… I'm tired."
"Strangely, I'm not," said Mandy, who had seemed to have perked up a bit, "Beware, Ash, I know where the shaving cream is!"
"There is no shaving cream in this apartment, and teleporting every few minutes and being in Sailor form for hours is very tiring…" said Ash as she barely suppressed a small smile.
"Well," said Mandy, "Even if there is no shaving cream, I still have a Magic Marker."
"Give it to me or you shall spend eternity trapped in a tiny cage in the Sahara Desert with Kuwabara."
"Oh God, no! don't lock me up with that freak of nature! Here, you can have it!" said Mandy as she gave the marker to Ash.
"Leave me alone and let me sleep or I will follow through with my threat…" said Ash as she collapsed onto her bed.
"Man, she's no fun…" Mandy pouted as Matt walked in, kicked Mandy, and ran off.
"Hey, come back here!" Mandy shouted as she started to chase him.
Approximately 12 hours later, Ash was sitting on her bed messing with her computer which happened to be a Windows 95 and really slow when Mandy walks into the room leaving the door open behind her.
"Where have you been?" Ash asked her.
Mandy replied, "I was chasing Matt… until I got lost and found myself at St. Luke's. I decided to pick up Kurama… Apparently he broke a nothing… he didn't break anything… I brought him here… Is that all right?"
"I guess," said Ash.
Kurama walked into room and asked, "Shouldn't you be asking—what's your name again?"
"My name is Ash Cochran," she replied.
"Shouldn't you be asking Ash's parents that question?"
Mandy said, "Our parents are on a three-week cruise in the Bahamas. By the way, Yugi's here too."
Yugi walked into the room and said, "You need to go to the grocery store. Your pantry is empty."
"HEB is in walking distance," said Ash.
At HEB, Kurama was hiding behind anything that would stand still long enough, and Mandy asked, "What on Earth are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm avoiding fangirls," answered Kurama.
"If you're attacked by fangirls, I can summon Rei-Hiei and pour cold water on him, said Ash
"Yeah, the majority of your fangirls like Hiei too… female Hiei…" said Mandy before having a giggle-fit.
Suddenly, some teenage girl shouted, "Hey, look it's Kurama!" and girls start attacking Kurama. There were about 1000 of them.
"Crazed fangirls! Run for your LIIIIIIVES!" shouted Kurama as Rei-Hiei appeared out of thin air.
Some teenage girl shouted, "It's Hiei!"
Mandy threw a huge bucket of water on Rei-Hiei and shouted "Female Rei-Hiei!" before chucking Rei-Hiei into the mob of fangirls, grabbing Kurama and running off.
"Yugi, could you get the groceries?" Ash asked as she handed him a list and money enough to pay for all the groceries. "Someone has to keep them from getting themselves lost."
She transformed and teleported away.
In H.E.B. girls' restroom a few minuets later, Kurama was sitting in the corner looking quite shaken up at the fact that he had been turned into a girl. Mandy cried "What have they done to you?" and threw her arms around Kurama. She then said, "My love! Don't worry, I'll find way to turn you back!"
Sailor New Moon said, "Don't worry, the instant spring of drowned girl only works once."
Kurama asked, "What's that?"
Mandy said "I didn't hear anything."
Sailor New Moon muttered to herself, "The hot water's turned on, no one else is in here, the door is locked. They'll be safe while I get the groceries."
She teleported away.
At the Hotel, Lily walked into the room with blood on her clothes.
"What happened to you, Lily?" asked Téa
"I got in a fight with the bus boy. How was your day?" asked Lily in return.
"What! We haven't even been here for twenty-four hours yet!"
"Yeah, I know, I can't even walk down the hall without getting into a fight. Ridiculous, isn't it?"
"Don't you care about how other people feel?"
" Not really. He started it anyway. How can you live without a good fist fight or two!"
"Because I care about other people's feelings!"
"Well, if you didn't, you'd have a lot more fun, now wouldn't you?"
Hiei said, "Toy boat, twoy boit, toy bwote… argh!"
"Oh, shut up!" said Lily as she kicked Hiei.
"Hey, don't kick him!" said Téa, "He didn't do anything to you!
"Yes he did," said Lily, "he was annoying me!"
"Owwww… that huuuurt!" said Hiei as he started crying.
Somewhere, Seto Kaiba was walking down the street until he came upon a little kid on a tricycle.
"Hey kid," said Seto "will you let me borrow that weird contraption of yours?"
The kid shouted, "It's MINE, MINE, MINE!"
"Give it now! This is the one scene I get to myself, and you're NOT gonna ruin it! Now hand over the stupid contraption!"
"If it's stupid, why do you want it?"
Silence… a few birds chirp
"Because I said so!" said Seto as he grabbed the trike and attempted to pull it away from the kid.
The kid was still holding on to his tricycle shouting "MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!"
"What are you, kid, some kind of muscle builder?"
The kid's shirt ripped and he said, "Does this answer your question, mister?"
Seto: narrowed his eyes and kicked kid "Nope."
He rode away triumphantly on stolen tricycle and started laughing maniacally.
Thirty minutes and one block later…
"Shut up, Kid! Goddamit!" said Seto as the trike tipped over.
"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, he said that bad word you divorced Daddy over!"
Kid's mother came out of the house with two hundred machine guns on her back
"SHIT!" shouted Seto as he zoomed away on motortrike.
"He figured out how to work the engine! Run away before he figures out how to use the laser gun," said the kid.
A laser flashed and house melted.
"He found out how to work the laser!" shouted the kid as he started sceaming.
They all ate cheese, went to Disney World, did some adulty things, and lived happily went to the third part.
AEC1990: Geez, Cory, don't write when you're not wanted.
BlacVlvtn: Write on your own notebook! sticks out tongue
Random Author Cory: It's mine now. They came back from part three and skipped to part two while frolicking the yellow brick road.
AEC1990: Hey, people reading our story, forget the last few lines while we continue with the story from before the idiot Cory, no offense, wrote his idiotic know-nothing-not-needed writings!
Seto: I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm sorry! Did I annoy you Miss Ashley and Miss Amanda? You usually allow other authors coming and writing their thoughts.
AEC1990: Sorry readers we are ending this chapter now, but if you continue reading, you can read some of our ridiculous… uhh… discussions… I'm not allowing him to write because he's trying to end our story before it should be ended.
Seto: That know-nothing git is trying to end my part! starts bawling
BlacVlvtn: It's another sign of the Apocalypse! Run for cover!
AEC1990: It's not the Apocalypse!
BlacVlvtn: Yes it is!
AEC1990: No it's not!
Téa: You'll mess up the story if you continue arguing!
BlacVlvtn: What are you doing here? This is author discussion period.
Joey: Any of us can join your discussion period! We're helping with the story too!
BlacVlvtn: Maybe so, but AEC1990 and me are the only authors here! All characters… deep breath OUT!
AEC1990: What about the random authors?
BlacVlvtn: I guess they can come… Shouldn't we be listening to Mrs. Adams? This is a class period…
AEC1990: I was listening, and I'm prepared for my final. I read the whole packet last night.
BlacVlvtn: Really? I haven't done a thing… for any of my finals… least of all art! It's such a gimme class! Like Choir and P.E.…
AEC1990: My mom made me. I wouldn't have, I mean I've already taken an art final… last year. But still! We probably did more vocabulary in that class than we did art projects. And we watched a whole bunch of movies with that nun lady… I don't know her name. Sister M or something like that. It stated with an M, that's all I know!
BlacVlvtn: Yikes… art vocab. And this is coming from a human spellchecker!
AEC1990: We had to define fresco and such. And Madonna!
BlacVlvtn: How many people put something about the singer?
AEC1990: I dunno, but a Madonna is a picture portraying the virgin Mary as Jesus' mother.
BlacVlvtn: Ah, religious junk.
Lily: to readers Psssst, Blac's an atheist.
BlacVlvtn: What are you doing here? Get out!
Lily: What are you, my mother?
BlacVlvtn: Well, in a way, yes.
AEC1990: shows her Lily of the Black Rose on"fan fiction. net."What in the censored existence is this?
BlacVlvtn: Your life story. Which I wrote.
AEC1990: That she did.
Lily: Stop the insanity, everybody please!
END CHAPTER 1