Hello... I'm writing in this shitty site called... uh FanFiction? Right? Well my name is Eric Cartman, but you can just call me Cartman. Well something totally not cool happened today. Kenny died again. I sorta got used of it. Every season he dies! But this time doesn't feel right. He hasn't been around since came back since... IDK! He was gone for a whole fucking season! Here's the story douchebags...
Last Season in an Episode that was cut for being "Too impropriate! Even For South Park!" The government censored it... damn censorship! How am I gonna get my Butters Porn?!
"Dammit Stan!" I yelled.
"Fuck... You!" screamed Stan
"Wasn't my fault!"
"Yes it is!"
"OKAY I DID IT!"
"I knew it..."
"Keep it our secret...C-Can you?"
"Fuck No! I'm going to make you get beat up by the 6 graders!"
"No that's not how it works" I take off my cool-ass shades and say "You can't boss around with them!"
"Why not Sam?" questioned Stan
"Cuz I am their boss"
"NO CARTMAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stan falls to his knees begging
On the brick wall you see a shadow of Cartman quickly taking his gun and shoots Stan in the head.
Next Day
"BREAKFAST IS READY!" says my mom.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU I'M ANOREXIC!" I scream.
"Oh sorry. I'll guess I will throw it away"
I suddenly hear a knock at the door. There I see the dumbass, Butters.
"WTF are you doing here Butters?!"
"WHERE IS STAN?!"
Thank god he didn't ask about Kenny. No one cares about Kenny...
"Idk"
"What?"
"I don't know..."
"Yes you do your the only fat ass in South Park!"
"I KNOW IM FAT STOP TELLING ME! But why does it matter anyway"
"Well some witness said 'I saw a gay fat n***** shooting another straight skinny n*****'"
"I'm not black. You shouldn't be saying shit like that anyway," I said
"Hey it's not my words"
"Hey wanna have a Sleepover faggot! Maybe we can have some fun hehe"
"SURE!" the dumbass continued "But we have to find Stan first"
"I really want someone to blow a whistle"
"Ok we should do it right now!"
We walked to my room giggling! I was so fucking excited! My first time of my whistle been blown. When we got to my room I locked the door and showed him my whistle. Butters complimented "That's one big whistle!" He then started blowing my whistle. He blew it faster... faster... faster. Then a nice slow "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" came out of my mouth. Liquid started coming out of my whistle.
" Oh look at what you did Butters! You got your spit all over my whistle!" I complained
"Sorry..."
"Buy Your Own Whistle!"
Follow Me for the Part 2 of "Kenny Dies"