Different kinds of Pain

Different kinds of Pain

Chapter 1: Awoken

By Candy aka Solarsun

Disclaimer: I don't own House! I wish I did!

Adjusting to the light of the room, his haunting baby blue eyes opened slowly. Ahead of him was a wall, but it was no ordinary wall indeed. It was a hospital Wall which meant something in his head.

For one that Growing headache was probably more serious then he had thought it was.

For another he was going to be stuck in this bed for a while by the cool metal band around one of his left hand he could feel.

Cuddy must have already been thinking ahead with this.

That damn woman.

Groaning turning his head slowly, trying to let his eyes adjust to the light that was coming from the open window he noticed another bed in the room. He closed his eyes then, the light was too much anyway.

So he wasn't a lucky one who got a room to himself, he thought dryly turning his head back forward to stare at the ugly wall ahead of him. It was probably a punishment for the stunt he had pulled not to long ago…

How long ago was it exactly, he thought again his right hand rubbing his chin.

Three days worth of hair growth sat on his chin.

Greeeaat.

"House," A familiar voice chimed at him toward the right of him. He really didn't feel like turning his head to acknowledge the person so he didn't. He already knew by the voice who it was.

"Cameron," House muttered. "How long have you been sitting there? Don't you have an ER to run?"

"Can't blame me for being worried," Her soft voice said as he heard her stand up and move some stuff around on him.

"Yes I can," House sighed trying to open his eyes but the light was still too bright. "Could you go shut that curtain, it's blinding the cripple." He finally said giving up on opening his eyes until that curtain was shut.

Immediately she did as she was asked and he could hear her stand up and walk over to the left side of the room and doing something over there. His eyes, even under the cover of his lids, could sense the change in light and he tried once more to open them.

"Ahh the ability of sight has returned to me, it's a miracle! Call the papers," House muttered as he opened one eye and then the other, his eyes slowly focusing on Cameron who was now standing at the edge of his bed where the ugly wall used to be. "Did you fix my leg and everything too?"

"House," Cameron said again in that same worried tone. She was always so good at that tone, he thought. "Do you know why you're here? Do you remember what happened?"

He didn't want to remember what happened but the visions of what had happened three days ago forced themselves to the surface as he closed his eyes. His brain was to active, to hurt to deal with the situation.

"I don't want to remember…" He groaned again. "But if it'll keep you happy then yes I remember."

Three days ago, he figured, was when he underwent what Wilson asked him to too try and save Amber for his friend.

Three Days ago he had failed as a Doctor. He had also failed as a friend to Wilson, letting Amber die. It didn't help that she had also been on that bus because of him. Wilson probably wouldn't speak to him for quiet a while, he thought dryly.

And who could blame him?

"House, you've been here…" Cameron broke in reminding him that she was still standing there.

"For three days. I'm in a hospital bed, not stupid." He shot back not wanting to deal with the doctor part of this right now. Right now he wanted to just curl up and die. He was a doctor to solve the case. That's how it had always been with him. Once he had figured out what exactly was going on with the patient that nobody else could, he'd give them what they needed to know and leave it at that.

He wasn't one for crying over spilt milk. If the patient was going to die, then that was the answer and there was nothing he could do about it.

So why the hell did he feel so guilty about Amber?

He solved the case, figured it out in time to give Wilson a final goodbye. It was more then he would have had if he hadn't gone through that hell to figure out what he had forgotten.

If he hadn't done that they probably would have never figured out Amber was Jane Dow number 2, and that she probably would have died under their noses days ago from complications.

Then Wilson would have been even more upset because she had died in his hospital under his nose without him able to say goodbye to her.

House had done his job…

So why was there so much guilt eating him?

He didn't want to think about that right now. That was something he could deal with later.

Later when his brain wasn't screaming at him to stop thinking.

Later when his eyes didn't want to go blind to stop that light.

Everything was always later with him because there would always be a later…

Well…maybe not. There probably would be no more later with Wilson and him and Cuddy he was sure wasn't going to let him work for a while.

So, he figured, he had all the time in the world now to deal with it.

But House didn't want to deal with it.

"House," Cameron's voice broke in once more. Obviously she hadn't left yet. That woman tended to not get his hints or she got them and ignored them. She was good for that.

"Leave me alone," House finally said. "I'm sure there will be plenty of time for you to bug me later. I'm awake now, see? I can blink my eyes and everything."

He tried to blink them open and close just to piss her off but that hurt a hell of a lot more then he thought it would.

"It's good to see you be yourself," Cameron sighed. "I'll tell the others you're finally awake at least."

"Good, now go away. I want to get my beauty rest." House said trying to turn himself slowly in his bed, then remembering that cool metal piece on his left hand keeping him from getting up. "O yeah, tell Cuddy I want a word with her the next time I'm awake."

"Ok," She said then leaving him in the room with the unknown patient.

Opening an eye he let himself adjust to the room again to glance at this mysterious someone who was invading his hospital space. It seemed a lot like that dream he had had after being shot by that disgruntled man but this was real. He could tell it was real by his throbbing leg, his hurting eyes, and his screaming brain.

Ahh it was a good day to be alive.

Not really though, he thought, that was just something people thought to make things seem better then it really was.

House was never the one to sugar coat anything.

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(authors notes)

Welcome all to my first ever not cartoon/anime fanfiction on !

I had been playing around with an idea of a House fanfiction since season 4 ended and here I am throwing my hat into the ring.

This is going to be difficult for me to say the least. Why do you ask?

Because to do a good portrayal of House is I think difficult. I want people to be able to read this and it be like watching an episode of our favorite series and I'm afraid that I won't do a good enough job with it for that.

If I don't do a good enough job then I don't want to write it.

Now on to other things. I am not sure how this story will end totally either. Like I said I've been playing around with ideas in my head. I may have this end up being a Huddy or a Hameron story but I also am a complete sap when it comes to House and maybe bring in an original character.

There was a saying in the Fruits Basket Manga 'If Someone can cause those scars there is sure to be someone who can heal them'. It's in book 4 and that I think will be the driving force to this fanfiction. We all love House because he's broken, cracked, tainted. What ever you call it he's hurt. What caused this hurt has been sorta left up to the watcher. A lot of hurt comes from his leg (both physical and emotional hurt) but I don't think that is what caused House to be House. There is a lot more to him then what meets the eye and that's what this story will be about.

Him and healing.

Who does the healing will be up to me I guess and maybe some influence on your reviews. So review now and review often!

Thanks and I hope this wasn't to horrible!