There, I told him. And immediately I feel a great rush of lightness, of peace, overcome my whole being. As if a heavy weight was taken off my back. As if I come up for air through the surface of the dark waters and take my first breath after a long, long time.
There are tears in his eyes.
Rory reaches out, pulls my wrist close, and kisses my hand. His back bends forward to do so, and it looks like his body took my burden instead.
"I'm so sorry," His voice was gentle, and it was cracking at the edges, "I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I could have stopped it."
He is devastated, but all I could think of was the lightness of it all, like the breeze carrying the fresh smell of the grass and dew around us. I was smiling.
"You couldn't help it. We didn't know each other then. It's fine. It's all right."
He covers his eyes with my palm, and I feel the wetness of his tears.
"No. No it's not. It isn't. I can't."
He starts crying, his body shaking. I took him in my arms and comforted him. As he weeps into my shoulder, I thought how odd it was that I was the one who was raped, but I'm the one comforting my boyfriend.
"Listen Rory you awesome person, you." I caress his hair, "You have made it all better. Don't you see that? I hated guys, and I wished all of them would die or, turn out gay for each other-" he laughed despite his tears, "-you made it all better. I could trust guys again because of you."
I felt the tears coming, and I tilt my head up to the night sky to stop them.
"Now I see differently. Guys can protect you and be your best friend. They'll be there for you in a jiffy when you need them. Rory, you have no idea how happy you have made me."
He tries to control himself, wiping his eyes. He smiles weakly, I smile back.
"You'll be fine now, right?" I ask.
He laughs softly, "I am if you are, Amy."
"I'm fine." I grin, "I'm perfectly fine. I got you. You'll keep the nightmares away, you always have."
Rory pulls me close with one arm around my shoulder, then kisses my cheek. For the rest of the night we watch the quiet evening stars, and I thought of how happiness is made of tiny, insignificant moments like this.