TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO DUCK HAS GONE BEFORE ...

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, it owns me. I am innocent of inventing these characters, Disney did it unless specifically stated otherwise. However I do plead guilty of conspiring to put them in charge of a starship.

U.S.S. St Canard Crew Manifest:

Darkwing Duck - Captain (Come on, was there even a doubt?)
Lieutenant Commander Launchpad McQuack - Ship's Councillor
Lieutenant Commander Gosalyn Mallard-Waddlemire - Science Operations ... scanning.
Commander Morgana Mallard-Macawber - Operations/First Officer
Lieutenant Commander Megavolt - Chief Engineer juiced up
Lieutenant Negaduck - Chief of Security, phaser set to kill
Lieutenant Liquidator - Hailing Frequencies Open
Lieutenant Quackerjack - Pilot off course, of course
Doctor Reginald Bushroot - Mission Medical.

Other cast members:

Lieutenant Sara Bellum - Assistant Engineer

Introducing Ensign ? ? from Star Trek: The Original Series

Episode Two: 001101100 Things to Do While Space Docked

Chapter One: The Set Up

"Captains log. Space dock means people. Your sort of people, with similar ideas and views on the universe ..."

"No, I am not interested!"
"Don't you think it's about time that we stop hiding our feelings for one another?"
"I outrank you, ensign! Dismissed."

"Ahem. Captain's log. Space dock means people. People that never quite see eye to eye, people that tend to squabble in close quarters, people who you thought you'd escaped from when you joined aboard what they laughingly call a 'strategically balanced, culture tested star ship'."

Darkwing jumped up the stairs and leaned on the console beside Gosalyn. "Mind letting me in on what that was all about, Lieutenant Commander?"
She clenched her beak. "I am a career officer."
"Ah." He nodded in understanding, "and Ensign Cho Barker isn't exactly your type."
"Uch, yeah. How come you can guess so easily but I have to practically phaser him off me?"
Darkwing shrugged. "You're only twenty seven. I have a few more years of experience on you."

"We don't have much to do right now while the ship's in dock, why don't you take some time off, lieutenant commander?"
"Aw, great, and then where will I hide from Ensign Cho Barker?"
"Hide?" Darkwing snorted in disapproval, "since when do young women in this era need to hide?"
"What do you suggest, captain?"
"The way I survive shore leave is to think of it as another mission. Except on this particular mission you don't have to give any reports and you get to choose more recreational activities instead."
Gosalyn's face cleared as she thought about this one. "Brilliant! Thanks, captain!" She raced to the turbo lift. "You're the best!"
Darkwing blushed as the doors closed.

The turbo lift doors opened and Liquidator swished out.

"Hey, Bud."

He turned to the dark-haired engineering officer crossing his path and she batted her lashes at him.

"You got shore leave plans?"
Liquidator grinned at her, "my phaser is set to thrill." He chortled. "The more the merrier?"
"Uh ..." She pursed her beak, "wouldn't it be a bit crowded already without me?"
"Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Sara." He grinned at her. "There's always room for you and Bushy."
Sara frowned. "We're not doing that anymore. There wasn't anything between us. I mean ... I'm a duck and sure he's sweet but half the time he talks in inane gibberish."
"That's not gibberish. Gibbers do not speak like that." Liquidator lectured her.
"I know, I'm sorry, I meant, well ... The last time I went to see him with a plasma scorch he just kept going on about occupational health and how there's only one of me and ... sometimes I don't think he even realises who he's talking to but it's always about work or his bio-what-sits." She shook her head.

"I think he should find himself a nice Phylosian to settle down with." She started walking away and called back over her shoulder. "I might come, Licky, if I'm not too busy."

Liquidator stood there for a moment alone in the corridor, feeling very unfortunate for his friend. "And the Phylosian I set him up with said he should try finding himself a nice duck."
The intercom on the belt of his blue uniform bleeped. He picked it out and opened it up.
"Where the heck are you, Liquidator? A pocket universe?" The electronic voice sounded at him in disapproval.
"I am approximately three feet from your door."
"But you don't have any feet! Look, just get in here already! I've got places to be."

Liquidator got to the door and pressed the door plate. The locking mechanism released and the door slid open.

"Talk about your sub-light-speed officers." Negaduck waved him inside.
"I was delayed ..." Negaduck raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, "several times."

Negaduck's quarters were unique from anyone else's, dressed up in pictures of historical battles. Some of them were statues, forever denied that final death blow they were in the process of making. The lighting was reddish, what Negaduck insisted reminded him of the burnished sky of his home world.

"I've been trying out another style beyond realism. I've been working on this for ages, but I wanted a second opinion." He pulled the sheet off the lump standing on a platform in the centre of the room.

"Disturbing," remarked Liquidator, "you have rendered Monet's Water Lilies with a Picasso-like finish. One might even say you've killed the motif quite savagely."
Negaduck dropped the sheet over the bizarre three dimensional statue. "I'm glad you can appreciate it, Liquidator."
"What is it supposed to represent?"
Negaduck raised an eyebrow. " 'The Death of Impressionism'."
"Ah, a splendid job."
"Yeah, yeah, get outta here you crawler." Negaduck blushed as he pushed Liquidator with some difficulty out of his quarters.
"Anytime, Lieutenant." Liquidator saluted.

Negaduck stopped and grabbed up his sleepover bag before letting the door close behind him. He fell in step with Liquidator. "So are you meeting up with the boys on the station?"
"No, I have other business to attend to." Liquidator frowned as they headed to the turbo lift. "Besides which, the prospect of getting drunk does not appeal to me all that much for some odd reason."
Negaduck snorted in amusement. "Oh, please don't give me that lame excuse. I know exactly what you're going to be up to, Liquidator. Just don't expect me to rush down to the planet to back you up if things get too much for you to handle." He pointed at himself. "I'll be enjoying my hangover by then."
Liquidator shook his head. "My shore leave plans are infallible, Negaduck. I shall have no reason to call you."
"Famous last words."

They stepped into the transporter room and Liquidator got onto the transporter pad with a few other fellow crewmen. Negaduck saluted and once he saw his friend had vanished he headed off for the docking port.

Gosalyn Mallard-Waddlemire walked into sickbay, determined to convince her best friend into joining her on some well-deserved shore leave.
"How can I help you, Lieutenant Commander?" He picked up a scanner and started taking her readings.
"Oh, I'm fine, Reggie. I was wondering if you'd be my away team buddy."
"No, thank you, I've got several sensitive experiments that require my attention."

"Come on, Reggie, there's a whole planet down below waiting for us to explore. There'll be lots of fresh air and sunlight. I know how much you love sunlight."
He paused, holding the scanner. "I guess a few days won't be too much if I set the environ-controls to a cycle ..." His eyes went misty as his mind grew nostalgic at the idea of soaking up real sunlight. "Sure, Gos. That's a great idea!"
"I know." She grinned with a happy satisfaction. "I always have great ideas."