Nothing is ever perfect, he knows this. It's the only thing in the universe that he knows isn't fake or untrue.
But if nothing is perfect, then she can't actually be real.
He knows that she's flawed – god knows everyone is – and sad and just plain up ridiculous sometimes, but the days when she isn't; he lives for those days. Her smile is infectious and her personality lights up the room. He wants nothing more than for her to be happy. (Those are the days he's thankful to have a best friend as wonderful as she.)
She's smart and funny, and he finds her absolutely beautiful. She'll be reading a book curled in the library chair her eyes scanning the words effortlessly, and she'll smile and twirl her hair at the pages, only stopping to pick up her highlighter to mark something that she finds important, whether it be a quote or a statement that will most definitely be put on the next psychology exam, and he'll think of how much he wants her to be more than just his best friend.
Sometimes, he'll be trying to avoid a mental breakdown (either caused because of school related stress or family related guilt) and she'll come over and hug him, help him calm down and tell him silly, stupid things until the ghost of a smile lingers on his lips. And he'll remember how his own father never really showed this much consideration towards him, and he realizes that this woman - wonderful, beautiful Jessica - is all that matters.
xXx
Not soon afterwards, there are fleeting moments between them – little shared kisses and phrases that they don't really seem to think about until three in the morning, and those thoughts are always the 'what the hell was I thinking thoughts' and they go back to thinking that the kisses and the glances and the touches are normal things.
They go back to thinking that they're not actually in love.
xXx
Eventually, he gets enough courage to ask her out, on a proper date that isn't actually in the library, and that might just be the best night of his life. She laughs and tells him about her childhood, embarrassing childhood moments and Halloween costumes that didn't work out as well as they should have. He can't really tell her everything about himself, not yet at least, so he settles on telling her some of the stupid, cringe-worthy, hilarious things his brother and himself did as children.
If it was any other person, he's sure he would have started to cry over the nostalgia, but with her, everything was easy to say, his words poured freely from his mouth.
He didn't even really miss the past, because quite frankly, he was too busy thinking about the future. God, it's only the first date and he knows that he wants to spend the rest of his days this this woman.
They're both a little tipsy when the leave. He walks her back to her dorm, her laughter fills the warm California air with delight – it fills him with happiness. He's smile is wider than the villainous Joker's will ever be.
He kisses her when he drops her off at her dorm. He can feel her smiling sloppily against his lips. He's blushing (maybe Dean was right all those years ago; maybe he is actually a twelve year old) when he looks at her. She smiles back, and all his anxiety is instantly washed away. She gives him a kiss on the cheek before saying goodnight and unlocking her door.
xXx
Many nights like this come to pass, and after every date, he finds himself falling more and more in love with her. It feels nothing like the way his father had described it would; it doesn't hurt, it's not a hindrance, if anything, its finally setting him free.
And freedom is something he has never really experienced before. So, when he's lying in his bed listening to her soft snores as she's asleep in his arms, he thanks the universe for letting the two of them meet.
And he thanks her for finally setting him free.
xXx
They eventually find themselves sharing a dorm. It's littered with books and pictures and art supplies, but that doesn't really matter to him. He feels as he once did as a child in the back of his father's Impala; he feels safe. He feels loved. He feels like he's finally home.
The days are long and the nights are even longer, but they carry on.
They've been together for two years; and he can't remember how he lived without her as a constant in his life. (And that's when he realizes that he doesn't want to live his life without her being greatly apart of it)
Between studying and classes and sleeping, he manages to work up enough money to get a ring. It's nothing special, but it's something. (Don't they say it's the thought that counts?) And he knows that she'll like it (or at least he tells himself she will) because she's Jess, and she knows how hard he's worked for some silly little ring and everything in-between.
He puts it off, both terrified at the prospect of marriage and delighted by it. He's nervous; he doesn't want this to be a repeat of his parents – if she ends up like his mother, he doesn't think he'll be able to live with himself.
So he keeps waiting. He knows there will come a time when the question slips out and she'll answer, but for now, although his heart is set on marrying this girl, he likes what they have.
It sure as hell ain't perfect, but it's as close to perfect as he can get.
Aye fam. This came to me while I was watching agents of shield the other night, because the woman who plays Bobbi also was Jessica and I tooled around in the xover section and was disappointed, but you know, xovers aren't really too plentiful.
SO I meandered my way to the Sam/jess corner of this website, and where I expected to find a bunch of sad/happy/fluffy/idfk stories I found a few.
And me, being the busybody that I am was suddenly struck with inspiration. (Plus I really miss Jess and Sammy deserves to be happy.)
So here is the Sam/Jess story that you probably didn't need or want, but it needed to be written down or it would have driven me bonkers.
Please – let me know if you like it or if it made you cry bc HOPEFUL SAM KILLS ME TOO (That means review. I'm a slut for reviews/follows/favorites)
Also – if you are into xovers, I have two harry potter/supernatural ones and a doctor who/supernatural xover (so you should totally check them out as well)
Okay that's enough self-advertising for one evening.
With love,
Bleuboxes
(ALSO 11x04 ACTUALLY KILLED me AND ITS MY NEW FAVRITE EPISODE)