AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Ok, the story title and summary are a bit tongue in cheek. Actually, maybe this whole story is tongue in cheek. Cuz you know how you'll be watching your favorite series, and they've got this whole storyline playing out, and you're all into it...and then all of a sudden, they'll air some seemingly random episode that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the arc that you're all jazzed about and invested in?! All because they seem to think it's time for a little comic relief, or something?!
To quote Jess, "Well, uh...my story's kind of like that".
As my little handful of loyal followers ;o) know, I've been writing my way through season one, sticking with show canon, and just trying to elaborate a little on the psychology and other juicy stuff going on behind the scenes we see.
Nick and Jess are perfect for one another, we all agree here. ;o) But as Liz M. herself has said, they just aren't perfect for one another YET. They both have to do some growing and changing first. And that means other boyfriends and girlfriends coming and going, to help them get to that point.
So yeah. There's not a lot of Nick/Jess yummy-goodness in this story. In fact, this comes a whole lot closer to being a Nick/JULIA story, so if you don't think your sensitive little heart can take that, turn back now. :op
But if you don't mind a few pages of fun interaction between the guy roommates...and if, like me, you've always wondered how Nick and Julia met...read on. ;o)
I PROMISE my next story will be back to all kinds of sweet angsty goodness. ;o)
But in the meantime, I present you with...THE COMIC RELIEF EPISODE:
Nick and Winston exchanged looks over their cereal bowls. Exhausted, shell-shocked, slightly-tinged-with-horror looks. Each willing the other to speak of it first.
Winston was the first to cave.
"I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this..." he began, his voice low and hoarse with lack of sleep, and more than a little desperate, "But I can't live this way anymore, man..."
"I know man, but what can we do?! We can't..." Nick looked around quickly, making sure no one else was around, before he whispered, "We can't say anything about it!"
"You can't?! Because I think I can, man! I think I have to!"
"Winston, NO! She has no idea...do you know how embarrassed she'll be?!"
"You don't know what I'm going through, man!" Winston near-sobbed, "You're gone half the night, working!" He lowered his voice to hiss vehemently, "You aren't there for the beginning, when they're still fresh and full of energy!"
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut against the vivid image that put in his mind. "I...I can't...I'm sorry, I can't talk about this. This was a mistake. Let's just go back to never mentioning this. Please. I beg you."
"No way man!" Now that Winston had finally spoken up, he was relentless. "I've got PTSD from some of those sounds! I'll be minding my own business, just walking down the street, and the squeal of someone's tires will make me break out in a cold sweat. A cat meowed at me the other day, and my brain immediately flashed on an image of Jess lapping up..."
"For the love of God, Winston, STOP!"
"...I'll never be able to watch another black and white movie again, man!"
Winston was near his breaking point, but Nick knew he could trump him. "Oh yeah?! You think you've got it bad?! Well how about this, buddy...I SAWthem!"
"What?!"
"I fell asleep on the couch one night, and they didn't see me when they came in. I saw the kitty cat...in action!"
"Dear God no." Winston was aghast with the appropriate horror.
"I watched them tear each others' clothes off. I saw the guy without his shirt."
"I'm so sorry man," Winston commiserated, shaking his head slowly, "I didn't know." His voice trailed off, "I didn't know..."
"It's ok...just...stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not the only one hurting, here," Nick said with an uncomfortable shrug of his shoulders, as if trying to physically shake off the memory of the things he'd seen.
They sat in mutual sympathy for a few minutes, before Winston asserted, "But just to be clear...we're still never speaking about any of this to Schmidt, right?!"
Nick shuddered, thinking about how salaciously interested their clueless roommate on the other end of the loft would be in hearing DETAILED descriptions of the bizarre array of sex noises that had been emanating from Jess's room each night.
"GAWD no."