Notice: Hey there, I was in the middle of writing a story when I started thinking about how upbeat my fics are compared to some of the other stuff out there. I thought it would be an interesting experience for me to try and write a sad story amid all of my happy ones. I didn't want to make it so angsty it would make people depressed, but gave them a bittersweet feeling. A story of both love and sadness, but I didn't want to make it a long story, just a one shot. So read on and tell me what you think I tried to think of a good pairing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed…whatever.
The Last Candle
"I know why you did it." Athrun stared out of the bedroom window, watching the sun slowly disappear behind the distant hills. A gentle breeze lapped at the curtains and caressed his face soothingly. It was a perfect evening.
"I knew you would come," he replied. He reached for his walking stick and slowly turned to his companion. "I've missed you. Welcome home."
"This isn't my home anymore, Athrun. You know that." The voice was soft like the breeze, no hint of malice. Athrun sighed and shook his head.
"You always did state the obvious, Kira. I've missed that too." He hobbled over to the watching figure, the seeping pain disappearing at the pleasure of seeing Kira again. Kira extended his arms and the two embraced affectionately.
"Why did you leave me?" Athrun whispered, not wanting to release his grip.
"I had to go. You know that." Athrun inhaled deeply and stepped back.
"You look good," he offered. "Younger. You look younger somehow."
"I feel younger," Kira responded, warming to the compliment. "I'm still 65, but I feel much younger. I've never been happier." The words stung Kira and tears welled up in his eyes.
"Never?" he asked.
"No." Kira's response was as tender as his smile. "You know I can't lie to you. I never could."
"Then perhaps it was for the best that you left me."
"Don't be sad." Kira took Athrun's arm and led him to the chair in the corner. "It's going to be a beautiful sunset tonight. Sit here and enjoy it. Remember."
"I remember." Suddenly it hurt too much to look at Kira directly. Athrun gazed out the window from his seat. "I remember everything. I remember too much. All the good times – and the bad….but most of all, I remember the morning I woke up alone."
"I wish I could have told you I was going."
"Together, forever. That's what you promised. I thought I was enough for you; enough to make you want to keep that promise, but I wasn't. I wasn't enough."
"Nothing lasts forever, Athrun. We had 40 good years together. I was getting old…we both were."
"I still am!" Athrun's temper surged unexpectedly. "But you….look at you! You look 10, 20 years younger!" Kira chuckled.
"You're exaggerating. No one can get younger. Not even if we try!"
"Are you happy?" Athrun asked, changing the subject. "Really happy?"
"As happy as I could ever want to be."
"Are you lonely?" Kira paused, considering his answer.
"Not like you, my friend. Never like you."
"Tell me what it's like – where you are. Did you go far away? Escape from me to the furthest reaches of the Earth?" Kira sat on the floor by Athrun's feet, leaning his head on his love's knee.
"You already know the answer to that. I could never go far and there was nothing to escape from. If you ever really needed me, I would have been here."
"Like now?"
"Like now." They sat in silence for a moment, the first shades of pink beginning to paint the sky, wrapping itself around the fading yellow glow just as Athrun and Kira once had to each other as young lovers.
They had met in high school, bonding instantly and becoming the best of friends. At University they had remained inseparable pals and in their first year in the work force they had become lovers, meeting secretly each evening to talk, make love and just be with each other.
Athrun remembered their first time. Back then, homosexuality had been frowned upon and the butterflies that had ran so rampant through his stomach almost forced him to turn around and run right back home. He smiled at the thought of it, and of Kira's careful first caress. When they had discovered each other to be gay, Kira had confessed to his brief liaisons with other men, while Athrun was still virginal. He had relied entirely on Kira to teach him all he now knew. Forty years. It was a long time to be with the same man, yet it passed in the blink of an eye.
He remembered the sensation of Kira's skin pressing against his own that first time they made love. Kira was rakish back then, his sinewy frame devoid of any fat, while Athrun was slightly heavier, with enough meat on his bones to keep both of them warm at night.
The memory of Kira's body pressing down against his own made him breathless once again, his wandering mind transporting him back to relive every exquisite sense. The smell of Kira's breath as they kissed, the touch of moist flesh as his hands explored the contours of Kira's body; the taste of semen in the moments before they climaxed…
The recollections grew, becoming more vivid with each passing image. The overwhelming marvel of Kira's touch; the unbearable euphoria of being so close to one so dear; the blinding explosion of his first induced ejaculation….
He never truly understood what Kira saw in him, but accepted his love gratefully and returned it in abundance.
"I'll tell you what I saw," Kira said, raising his head to look deeply into Athrun's eyes. Athrun started, not realising that he'd been speaking his thoughts aloud. "I saw a beautiful, loving man who was my equal in compassion, in strength and in his intelligence. I saw everything that I ever wanted in a lover. And I saw in my own reflection, the luckiest man alive."
"I was the lucky one," Athrun replied, stroking Kira's thinning head of hair. "You took me to heights that I never knew existed."
"Do you remember that time," Kira said, suddenly sitting upright, "that we went camping? We were in our twenties and we hiked down to the gorge by that gully that had the waterfall."
"That's right," Athrun laughed. "We got caught with our pants down by the Ranger!" Kira laughed enthusiastically.
"I thought we were going to be arrested!"
"After all these years, I still can't believe how impeccable his timing was! I had my mouth wrapped firmly around your cock, and you were groaning and moaning and carrying on like nobody's business…"
"And just as I came, he stuck his head through the tent flap and copped it right smack dab in the eye!" The two cackled heartily, recalling the moment until their laughter subsided into silence once more. "The sun is almost down now," Kira sighed, looking out of the window at the rainbow of colours now blossoming through the clouds.
"You still haven't answered my question," Athrun said. "Have you missed me?" Kira knelt up to take Athrun's hand in his face.
"With every pore of my being," he said. "I've missed you each and every day and throughout every night." The tears trickled down Athrun's cheek and Kira leaned over gently kissing them away.
"I'm here for you, Athrun," he whispered. "You don't ever have to be alone again."
"You'll take me with you?" Athrun pleaded.
"How could I not? It'll be just like old times, only better. Open spaces, no more hiding. Just you and me and our love, forever and ever."
"You've said that to me before," Athrun countered. "How do I know you won't leave me again?"
"Because this time there's no reason." Athrun thought about Kira's answer. The last rays of light were almost gone now as the night slowly edged its way through the window. A single candle on the table beside him flickered anxiously, spilling its ever-strengthening glow over their faces. "It's almost time," Kira said. "Come. Let me help you to bed." He lifted Athrun from the seat.
"It's one year to the day, you know?" Athrun asked him.
"I know," Kira said. "One year tonight."
"I'm scared."
"Don't be. Look." He pointed to the bed, where Athrun's slumbering figure lay quietly, the empty bottle of sleeping pills still clasped in his hand. "No more pain. No more tears. Just us."
"Did it hurt when you left?" Athrun asked.
"No. I didn't feel a thing. Just your skin on my lips as I kissed you goodbye."
"I felt it!" he whispered in awe. "I felt your kiss. I remember it!" Kira smiled, knowingly, and lay Athrun down on the bed.
"I'll blow out your candle," he said, barely audible. "The light is going out now. It's nightfall. Time to rest. Time to be by my side." And the curtains fluttered as the candle flickered out.
I know it's kind of a downer but I wanted to portray Kira's and Athrun's love for each other as a soft gentle thing. *tears of sadness* Just to let you know though readers, that I do not in any way shape or form think suicide is something you should even think about doing people deserve better than that. Anyways, thanks for reading. Flames and reviews are always welcome; but please, keep them on the subject of my writings not my views. ;p Ja ne!