Author's Notes: Please forgive me if the quality of this is not as good as I want it to be. It's my first attempt on humor, wk, and script format. So all three things together means I'm triple new on this. I'm currently writing several things, so whether there will be a Schwarz sequal will depend on if I have the time and the ideas... of course, reviews help.
Weiss on Radio
Omi: Hey Aya-kun, have you seen Yohji-kun? We have to find him! We're going on air in a minute!
Aya: Hn. No, I haven't seen that playboy.
Ken: No, no! We have no time! We're already on air!
Omi: Ken-kun! Play something, play something!
Ken: What? You mean play soccer in here?
Aya: Watch out for that--!
[CLANG, CRASH!] (sound of shattering glass could be heard)
Aya: --vase.
Omi: Ken-kun! why did you kick that there?
Ken: You told me you play soccer...
Omi: I meant play a song or music or something! Not soccer!
Ken: But I don't know how to play those. I only know how to play soccer.
Aya: He's hopeless.
The piano version of Velvet Underworld began playing over their voices.
Omi: Whew. Thanks, Aya-kun. We needed that distraction.
Aya: Hn.
[BOOM] (there's the echo of a door slamming shut)
Omi: Yohji-kun! There you are!
Yohji: Wow! What went on in here?
Aya: It's all your fault.
Yohji: Me? I wasn't even here!
Aya: That's why it's your fault.
Omi: Ken-kun was playing soccer in here.
Yohji: Then it's Ken's fault. Aya, don't mix me up with Ken.
Ken: Omi told me to do it!
Omi: Ken-kun, I didn't tell you to kick the ball...
The music finishes.
Ken: Yes you did! You--
Aya: Hush, we're on air.
Yohji: First of all, a big hello to the beautiful ladies listening out there. The previous slow, romantic version of Velvet Underworld is dedicated to all the pretty ladies in the world.
Omi: Yohji-kun, I thought you dedicate songs before you start playing them.
Yohji: I wasn't there when you started playing it.
Ken: That song was romantic?
Aya: It was just a song.
Ken: Oh, right. All songs are romantic to Yohji.
Yohji: You guys just don't know how to appreciate good music.
Aya: Hn.
Yohji: Anyway, I, Yohji Kudou, host for this show, thank all you ladies for listening to me. You don't know how it gladdens my heart to know you sweet people are out there spending your precious time to hear my voice.
Aya: It's not your show, Yohji.
Ken: Yohji, I don't think only girls listen to us.
Omi: At this rate, I don't think anybody is listening to us.
Yohji: Don't be a grouch, guys.
Omi: What is this show on anyway?
Ken: It's about baby sitting and soccer tips.
Aya: No.
Omi: Ken-kun...
Yohji: You mean we're on air and we still don't know what we're here to talk about?
Omi: Er...no, Yohji-kun.
Yohji: Then that's easy. This will be a dating tip show. I'll give all you ladies out there how to date a good man, or me, Yohji Kudou.
Omi: I don't think that's right either...
Aya: No. This is a show on flowers.
Omi: That's right! Flowers! Thanks, Aya-kun!
Yohji: What? Boring old flowers?
Ken: But I like kids and soccer more...
Yohji: And I like babes more...
Aya: We will be right back after this song.
A piano version of Beautiful Alone starts playing.
Yohji: And this will be once again dedicated to the ladies of the world!
Omi: Yohji-kun!
Ken: Why are we putting another piece of music on?
Aya: Because we have to discuss this.
Omi: Discuss what, Aya-kun?
Aya: Our show.
Yohji: What's wrong with it?
Aya: We don't know what to talk about.
Omi: Aya-kun has a point.
Yohji: You guys might not know what to talk about. I know! Let me run this!
Ken: I know what I want to talk about too.
Omi: But we can't talk about those things...
Y&K: Why not?
Aya: No one's going to listen.
Ken: Oh.
Yohji: Maybe not to Ken, but they're going to listen to me. Ladies love my voice.
Ken: Hey!
Omi: Yohji-kun...
Aya: We're going to talk about flowers.
Yohji: You can talk about flowers, Aya. I'll talk about ladies and dating.
Aya: We need to do this show together, Yohji.
Yohji: Then it's decided, we talk about ladies.
The music ends.
Aya: Yohji, we're not--
Omi: We're on air again.
Yohji: I hope those of you by the radio enjoyed the nice melody.
Ken: And now we bring to you the latest weather report.
Omi: Ken-kun!
Yohji: Ken ken... we're not the weather men.
Ken: I just thought it's something neutral to say.
Aya: There will be a thunderstorm this evening.
Yohji: Aya, I can't believe you're being stupid like Ken.
Ken: But there's not a cloud in the sky...
Aya: There will be a thunderstorm this evening even though there's not a cloud in the sky.
Yohji: That just didn't make sense.
Omi: You can't have a thunderstorm if there's no clouds, Aya-kun.
Aya: It can because I said it can!
Ken: Okay, okay. Calm down, Aya.
Aya: I am calm!
Omi: We will be right back after these messages!
Some stupid commercials starts on white crosses for sale.
Yohji: Who's idea was it to come up with these idiotic messages?
Ken: Yohji!
Yohji: No, it's definitely not my idea!
Ken: That's not what I meant...
Omi: It's alright, Aya-kun. We'll think of something.
Ken: We better think of something fast.
Aya: We are talking about flowers.
Yohji: No, we're not, Aya. All those girls out there are waiting for me to talk to them.
Aya: Yohji...
Omi: Yohji-kun. I don't think Aya-kun's too happy. Let's save the date talk for the next show, ne?
Yohji: All the girls of the world will be disappointed!
Ken: Then we can talk about kids this time!
Aya: Ken...
Omi: I don't think that's such a great idea either, Ken-kun... Uh, Aya-kun... What are you doing with that microphone pole?
Yohji: Okay, okay! We're talking about flowers!
Omi: Aya-kun, please, put that down...
Ken: Yes, we're florists. We know the best about flowers!
Aya: Good.
The commercial ends.
Omi: Hello everybody, we're back and we're ready to bring to you half an hour of information about how to take care of your garden and the flowers you have at home.
Ken: Make that ten minutes.
Omi: What?
Aya: We wasted two thirds of the show.
Yohji: Not wasted. Used! What's going to waste is our last ten minutes.
Omi: Aya-kun doesn't look happy, Yohji-kun.
Yohji: Alright, alright, I'll be quiet for now.
Aya: You will be quiet.
Yohji: So rude. Don't think I'm scared because you have a microphone pole.
Ken: I would be if I were you.
Yohji: You're not. And thank god for that. I wouldn't want you to scare my girls away.
Omi: Yohji-kun...
Ken: Aya's knuckles are going white...
Yohji: Don't mind him. He's always pale--
Aya: YOHJI!!!
[BOOM. CRASH. CLANG. BANG. THUMP.] (Sounds of things getting broken, thumped, crashed into, smashed, and running footsteps could be heard.)
Ken: I tried to warn him.
Omi: So did I, Ken-kun. So did I. Aya-kun took his mic with him.
Ken: Does this mean we can talk about soccer now?
Omi: No, Ken-kun. Don't you think we should follow them to make sure Yohji-kun's alright?
Ken: I don't want to get attacked by Aya.
Omi: Aya-kun won't do that.
Ken: He seems to have little qualms about smashing Yohji.
Omi: Yohji-kun just say the wrong things sometimes.
Ken: Okay, Omi. Let's follow them. Hey, if we can't find them, we can go grab pizza.
Omi: Sure! We can avoid finding them!
Ken: Sounds like a plan to me! Let's go.
[BOOM] (The sound of a door slamming shut.)
Dead Air.
THE END... for now.
Weiss on Radio
Omi: Hey Aya-kun, have you seen Yohji-kun? We have to find him! We're going on air in a minute!
Aya: Hn. No, I haven't seen that playboy.
Ken: No, no! We have no time! We're already on air!
Omi: Ken-kun! Play something, play something!
Ken: What? You mean play soccer in here?
Aya: Watch out for that--!
[CLANG, CRASH!] (sound of shattering glass could be heard)
Aya: --vase.
Omi: Ken-kun! why did you kick that there?
Ken: You told me you play soccer...
Omi: I meant play a song or music or something! Not soccer!
Ken: But I don't know how to play those. I only know how to play soccer.
Aya: He's hopeless.
The piano version of Velvet Underworld began playing over their voices.
Omi: Whew. Thanks, Aya-kun. We needed that distraction.
Aya: Hn.
[BOOM] (there's the echo of a door slamming shut)
Omi: Yohji-kun! There you are!
Yohji: Wow! What went on in here?
Aya: It's all your fault.
Yohji: Me? I wasn't even here!
Aya: That's why it's your fault.
Omi: Ken-kun was playing soccer in here.
Yohji: Then it's Ken's fault. Aya, don't mix me up with Ken.
Ken: Omi told me to do it!
Omi: Ken-kun, I didn't tell you to kick the ball...
The music finishes.
Ken: Yes you did! You--
Aya: Hush, we're on air.
Yohji: First of all, a big hello to the beautiful ladies listening out there. The previous slow, romantic version of Velvet Underworld is dedicated to all the pretty ladies in the world.
Omi: Yohji-kun, I thought you dedicate songs before you start playing them.
Yohji: I wasn't there when you started playing it.
Ken: That song was romantic?
Aya: It was just a song.
Ken: Oh, right. All songs are romantic to Yohji.
Yohji: You guys just don't know how to appreciate good music.
Aya: Hn.
Yohji: Anyway, I, Yohji Kudou, host for this show, thank all you ladies for listening to me. You don't know how it gladdens my heart to know you sweet people are out there spending your precious time to hear my voice.
Aya: It's not your show, Yohji.
Ken: Yohji, I don't think only girls listen to us.
Omi: At this rate, I don't think anybody is listening to us.
Yohji: Don't be a grouch, guys.
Omi: What is this show on anyway?
Ken: It's about baby sitting and soccer tips.
Aya: No.
Omi: Ken-kun...
Yohji: You mean we're on air and we still don't know what we're here to talk about?
Omi: Er...no, Yohji-kun.
Yohji: Then that's easy. This will be a dating tip show. I'll give all you ladies out there how to date a good man, or me, Yohji Kudou.
Omi: I don't think that's right either...
Aya: No. This is a show on flowers.
Omi: That's right! Flowers! Thanks, Aya-kun!
Yohji: What? Boring old flowers?
Ken: But I like kids and soccer more...
Yohji: And I like babes more...
Aya: We will be right back after this song.
A piano version of Beautiful Alone starts playing.
Yohji: And this will be once again dedicated to the ladies of the world!
Omi: Yohji-kun!
Ken: Why are we putting another piece of music on?
Aya: Because we have to discuss this.
Omi: Discuss what, Aya-kun?
Aya: Our show.
Yohji: What's wrong with it?
Aya: We don't know what to talk about.
Omi: Aya-kun has a point.
Yohji: You guys might not know what to talk about. I know! Let me run this!
Ken: I know what I want to talk about too.
Omi: But we can't talk about those things...
Y&K: Why not?
Aya: No one's going to listen.
Ken: Oh.
Yohji: Maybe not to Ken, but they're going to listen to me. Ladies love my voice.
Ken: Hey!
Omi: Yohji-kun...
Aya: We're going to talk about flowers.
Yohji: You can talk about flowers, Aya. I'll talk about ladies and dating.
Aya: We need to do this show together, Yohji.
Yohji: Then it's decided, we talk about ladies.
The music ends.
Aya: Yohji, we're not--
Omi: We're on air again.
Yohji: I hope those of you by the radio enjoyed the nice melody.
Ken: And now we bring to you the latest weather report.
Omi: Ken-kun!
Yohji: Ken ken... we're not the weather men.
Ken: I just thought it's something neutral to say.
Aya: There will be a thunderstorm this evening.
Yohji: Aya, I can't believe you're being stupid like Ken.
Ken: But there's not a cloud in the sky...
Aya: There will be a thunderstorm this evening even though there's not a cloud in the sky.
Yohji: That just didn't make sense.
Omi: You can't have a thunderstorm if there's no clouds, Aya-kun.
Aya: It can because I said it can!
Ken: Okay, okay. Calm down, Aya.
Aya: I am calm!
Omi: We will be right back after these messages!
Some stupid commercials starts on white crosses for sale.
Yohji: Who's idea was it to come up with these idiotic messages?
Ken: Yohji!
Yohji: No, it's definitely not my idea!
Ken: That's not what I meant...
Omi: It's alright, Aya-kun. We'll think of something.
Ken: We better think of something fast.
Aya: We are talking about flowers.
Yohji: No, we're not, Aya. All those girls out there are waiting for me to talk to them.
Aya: Yohji...
Omi: Yohji-kun. I don't think Aya-kun's too happy. Let's save the date talk for the next show, ne?
Yohji: All the girls of the world will be disappointed!
Ken: Then we can talk about kids this time!
Aya: Ken...
Omi: I don't think that's such a great idea either, Ken-kun... Uh, Aya-kun... What are you doing with that microphone pole?
Yohji: Okay, okay! We're talking about flowers!
Omi: Aya-kun, please, put that down...
Ken: Yes, we're florists. We know the best about flowers!
Aya: Good.
The commercial ends.
Omi: Hello everybody, we're back and we're ready to bring to you half an hour of information about how to take care of your garden and the flowers you have at home.
Ken: Make that ten minutes.
Omi: What?
Aya: We wasted two thirds of the show.
Yohji: Not wasted. Used! What's going to waste is our last ten minutes.
Omi: Aya-kun doesn't look happy, Yohji-kun.
Yohji: Alright, alright, I'll be quiet for now.
Aya: You will be quiet.
Yohji: So rude. Don't think I'm scared because you have a microphone pole.
Ken: I would be if I were you.
Yohji: You're not. And thank god for that. I wouldn't want you to scare my girls away.
Omi: Yohji-kun...
Ken: Aya's knuckles are going white...
Yohji: Don't mind him. He's always pale--
Aya: YOHJI!!!
[BOOM. CRASH. CLANG. BANG. THUMP.] (Sounds of things getting broken, thumped, crashed into, smashed, and running footsteps could be heard.)
Ken: I tried to warn him.
Omi: So did I, Ken-kun. So did I. Aya-kun took his mic with him.
Ken: Does this mean we can talk about soccer now?
Omi: No, Ken-kun. Don't you think we should follow them to make sure Yohji-kun's alright?
Ken: I don't want to get attacked by Aya.
Omi: Aya-kun won't do that.
Ken: He seems to have little qualms about smashing Yohji.
Omi: Yohji-kun just say the wrong things sometimes.
Ken: Okay, Omi. Let's follow them. Hey, if we can't find them, we can go grab pizza.
Omi: Sure! We can avoid finding them!
Ken: Sounds like a plan to me! Let's go.
[BOOM] (The sound of a door slamming shut.)
Dead Air.
THE END... for now.