~~ Prologue ~~
The soldiers stood in line outside the pavilion. Their rifles in hand pointing upwards. Their faces were mostly passive and that too because of the code which they followed. The general standing on the pavilion smiled softly. He understood their sadness, he really did. It is never easy to pay salute to fallen soldiers. The men in the coffins were their friends. They were the ones who laughed jovially with them when someone tells a joke. They were the ones who would lend a hand to a soldier in need. They were the ones who would smile with their friends when they talk about happier times. They were the ones who wiped away tears at the mention of their family back home, far away from the battlefield. They were the ones who would write long, detailed letters to their loved ones because they were unsure about whether they would live to see them again. They were the ones who fought for their country and its citizens. They are the ones who are dead.
He stood up and walked towards the microphone. Holding it in hand he looked at the soldiers in front of him before speaking.
Noah Puckerman stood upright as he stared at the general. He was telling something but he couldn't hear a word. All he could hear were the unspoken accusations from the soldiers around him and the ones in the coffins.
"It's your fault they are dead."
Yes. Yes it is.
"If only you could have warned us in time. We could have lived."
He knows. That's why it stings. If only he could have warned them. If only.
"I hope you will die, you son of a bitch."
Yes. That's what he wants too. To die. But then he won't be punished. He will escape punishment. And that is not justice. He has to live. He has to suffer. He has to go through hell while living. He should hope for death but it shouldn't come quickly. He has to live a long life. And he has to suffer all through it. He has to suffer. He will suffer. He will make sure of it.
"So today we have to say goodbye to men who loved our country. Who are true patriots. Their duty to the United States of America will never be forgotten. May their souls rest in peace. Now the firing of three volleys in honor of the fallen."
Seven soldiers came up front and holding their rifles shot thrice into the sky.
Puck swallowed as he heard the loud shots. Even after they had stopped firing, he could hear the sounds, still clear as the first one. He wanted to close his ears to stop hearing the shots but he couldn't. his arms were frozen by his side. And as the sounds became louder he closed his eyes tight wishing it all to go away.
"Suffer. Just like we suffered suffer. Cry out in pain, scream in fear. But you won't be able to escape Puckerman. You will never escape."
"Soldiers salute," the general commanded.
The soldiers in response raised their right hand horizontally, the tips of their fingers close to their right eyebrow. Puck raised his hand but he couldn't keep it as straight as he should have. His fingers shook. The coffins were raised and carried to the plane waiting nearby. As he saw each coffin being carried, his chest tightened. Seventeen coffins in total were carried by the soldiers. Puck just stared feeling numb. Timothy, Simon, Jake, Freddie, Alan, Benny, Kyle, Liam, Roger, Greg, Patrick, Dylan, David, Jason, Martie, Lennon and Artie.
he remembered his previous team laughing and joking around as they sat around Artie's bed in their room in the bunker. He couldn't walk and was confined to his wheel chair but he had a great intuition and brilliant hearing. So he was considered one of the best snipers. The only reason artie had joined the army was as he said to everyone who cared to ask was to keep Puck company but the truth was deeper than that. When his career as a director had not taken off Artie Abrams had been lost just like Puck once had been. So he got into drugs and other things which resulted in rehab. There he met someone. Someone who had changed him. She had shown him the world; that all hopes were not yet lost. With her help he had decided to begin his life anew but with purpose this time around. He decided to serve the army. She is back home, that's what Artie had said, back home where she is safe and when the war is over. He will go back and ask her to be his wife.
Puck looked at the coffin which was gently raised up onto the plane.
Artie is not going to be able to do that. Neither can any of the other men with their goals. Families back home in America would be breaking apart. Wives in shock, finding it hard to believe that their man is not going to come back and catch them in an embrace or kiss their worries away. Children who had always waited for their father's return holding toys for them to play with would not know that they would only be greeted by a coffin bearing flowers. And the fiancés would just stare at their rings, feeling lost and forlorn. Artie's special woman, would she ever know that Artie wished to make her his wife?
No. How would she?
He could see the door close as the soldiers returned back to place. The aircraft stayed still for a few moments before the engines spun faster and the aircraft moved slowly towards the runway.
"You are the reason they are dead."
"You are the reason why I can never hold my child."
"You are the reason why I can never say goodbye."
The aircraft started rolling down the runway, gaining speed with every second.
"You are the reason why my mom would break down in tears."
"You are the reason why my baby girl will never see her father."
"You are the reason why I can't ever again feel my girlfriend's lips or kiss her tears away."
The Tires raised above the runway, as the plane lifted up into the air.
"You are the reason I can never return back to my beloved Angel."
The Aircraft gained height as it flew forwards. His friends are within it. They are right there inside.
"One day when I go back home, Puck. I will buy this beautiful dark amber ring set on platinum, Amber matches the colour of her eyes perfectly you know. And I will bend down on one knee, in the middle of her class, in front of the students, in front of everybody. And I will ask her, "My beloved angel. You saved me. More than once. You showed me the way when I felt all was lost. I never thought I will make it through but then I found you and you helped me become better. You helped me heal. I know I am not the perfect man. I know I won't be able to do many things. I won't be able to carry you up the stairs. I won't be able to drive a car and I certainly can't fix a leaking pipe. But I know this. I love you. I will listen to your troubles. I will make you a cup of tea to calm you when you get stressed and I will hold you tight when you want comfort and love. You have done so much for me and truth be told, I don't know whether I can do even half of that. I know I am not worthy of you but I still wish to ask. Because I don't know how long I am going to live. I don't know whether the world will even exist tomorrow but I know this. From the day I met you, from the day you slapped me and told me to get a hang of my life, I realized I want to make you my wife. My equal. My love. So will you marry me, my angel?" ...Would she say yes? I don't know. But I sure do hope she does. She is my world Puckerman. She is my world."
The aircraft disappeared into the clouds. Puck didn't blink. He couldn't afford to. This was the last time he would be able to see them, the last time to apologize.
I am sorry.
The plane's grey tail emerged back only to disappear again moments later. No. come back. Please. Just once. One final time. One last time. His eyes searched the sky for the plane. But he couldn't spot the grey metal anymore. His eyes prickled but he didn't blink. What if the plane surfaced into his sight again? But as seconds passed, his eyes couldn't take it anymore. It closed shut. And Puck knew even if he searched the sky again, he won't be able to see it.
His friends were well and truly gone.
And he is left alone.
With the guilt.
He is a murderer.
He will always be a murderer.
The soldiers weren't surprised when Sergeant Puckerman collapsed onto his knees and cried. He gripped his hair as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Puck could feel his chest tighten. He couldn't breathe. It doesn't matter. He killed his friends. He is a murderer. He realized it was too quiet. The voices, his friend's voices. Where did they go?
Come back. Please come back.
Please don't leave me.
I beg you.
Please.
Don't leave…me…alone.