Okay, everyone. I've been lazy and not updating other stories, but I've been struck by inspiration for something completely random.

Lissa stormed into her friend's room and threw herself down on a chair with a heavy sigh. In most cases, this would be considered rude. But Lissa and Rachel were a special case.

Until last year, they had been complete strangers. Now they were best friends, due to Lissa's move from Virginia, a chance encounter in a Starbucks, and a discovery of a certain website containing authors with an inexplicable urge to vilify them.

Rachel waved at her from her bed, grabbing a dart from her nightstand. She hurled it at the dartboard. Sometimes she put pictures of people that angered her up there. She felt that was a good way to release anger. Right now, there was no picture, just a word – Fanfiction.

Rachel's dart poked a hole in the paper, but she didn't feel any satisfaction. She took comfort in the fact that, at least, Lissa's misery was worse than hers. You know what they say – misery loves company.

"Why are you so cheerful?" Lissa demanded.

"It's schadenfreude," Rachel smirked. Lissa looked at her. Rachel hastened to explain. "Schadenfreude...it's German. Pleasure in other people's pain. I'm miserable, but you are, too, so I am no longer quite as miserable."

"You're sadistic," Lissa accused.

"Well, yeah," Rachel admitted. "But it's more than that, actually. The authors – if you can call them that - are kind of lightening up on abusing me. They do pair me up rather obnoxiously with random people, but it's better than all the accusations of being a bitch, a slut, or some combination of the above. Do you realize that most of them forget that I'm an artist and into charity events?"

Lissa's green eyes widened with panic. In seconds, she had crossed the room, grabbing Rachel by the shoulders. "No, no, you can't do this to me! You can't leave me to deal with it alone!"

"Chill out, Lissa," Rachel said, stifling a laugh. "There will always be the fangirls who can't stand me."

Slightly mollified, Lissa sank down onto the edge of Rachel's bed. She examined her friend closely. Her eyes grew very round. Rachel waved her hand cautiously in front of Lissa's face.

"Lissa? You still here?"

"Did you ever notice that we look rather alike?" Lissa asked randomly. Rachel tilted her head to one side, absolutely no idea where Lissa was going.

"What with the whole red hair green eyes thing?" she checked. Lissa nodded. "Well, yeah, but aren't those linked traits?"

Lissa shushed her, leaping off the bed. Her eyes were bright with excitement. "I've got it – that's it!"

"What's it?" Rachel demanded. "Are you going to tell me what you're talking about or not?"

"That's it," Lissa repeated. "We have red hair and green eyes. Green is traditionally equated with jealousy, right? So maybe the writers think that because we have green eyes, we're jealous bitches?"

Rachel didn't say anything. She just looked at Lissa. Lissa slumped over. "Fine, you're right – that was stupid. I'm trying, Rachel, I'm trying. I don't want to write them off as a lost cause."

"Lissa," Rachel said. "It's just like with the Great Auk. People tried desperately to save it, but eventually, it became impossible. It is impossible to save fanfiction dot net."

Lissa groaned, grabbing Rachel by the arm and hauling her up. "I need coffee. Now. Let's go."

"Coffee?" Rachel laughed. "I think we need something a heck of a lot stronger than coffee if we want to survive this. Lissa, I think it's time I introduced you to the world of triple espresso with a side of plain coffee beans."

You know, I don't know if what I said about espresso is actually true. I think drip coffee has more caffeine, but I've heard different things from different places. Review?