"Great, I'm on a break." I say to myself in a voice just barely over a whisper. A thin chain rests between my fingers as I toy with the diamond. I don't dare look over to the love of my life, so I glance out the window.
"Turn left," her broken voice tells the cab driver. Moisture rises to my eyes, just enough to fill them without spilling over. A crack between two building splashes my face with sunlight and I blink my eyes shut. A tear slides down my left eye as the driver takes a left. She takes her things from the trunk and runs into the house, risking a glance at me. I watcher her go inside, until we pulled away from the curb.
The ride to the airport was nearly unbearable. Tears slowly sprung free, one at a time. I sat there suffering in my silence, when we finally arrived at the original destination. I get out of the blue and orange taxi and pay the driver after removing my own items from the back. I dial my sisters phone, unsure if Holly J had already spoken to her.
"Hello, Declan," my sister greets me, as if it was any other day.
"Fiona," I say, gently. Exhaling and releasing a few new rolling tears.
"Declan, what happened?" she asks me, I inhale sharply.
"Holly J and I, we're 'on a break'" I sit down on a narrow bench. Bolted to the floor in the lobby. I don't give her time to respond. "She said that she felt gross, because I offered to help her out. She gave me back the necklace. I told her the problem was that is was a relationship over the phone and online and she suggested a break." I spilled everything out to my sister.
"Declan, she just needs a little time to figure stuff out, life is hard on her now, financial problems, she's moving, SAT's. Just give her some space. Kay?" she repeated Holly J's words almost perfectly. "Now, I am going to go visit her on her fist shift, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"
"Yeah., bye." I say coldly. I take off to security and head to my plane.
Upon landing in New York, I am greeted by my mother.
"Sweetie, how are you doing?" she gives me a small kiss on the cheek and an impersonal hug.
"Fiona." I hiss under my breath and ignore my mothers questioning. When I arrive to the pent house, home, I unpack quickly and lay down on my bed. I shut my eyes and wonder. I must have drifted to sleep because when I opened them, I was in darkness. I suddenly felt a severe rush of jealousy, for my sister. Holly J and her were friends, because I needed my sister and girlfriend to get along, but she left me alone now. My sister had just been given everything I wanted, needed, and loved. I felt guilt for my attitude in the beginning of our dispute, I really did just want to help, really.
I decided not to follow up on the Yale trip. Instead I sat around at home, feeling sorry for myself. This wasn't the first time my heart was broken, the last leaving me hard, and cold towards the opposite sex's feelings. I honestly became a player, of the game of getting what wanted me the least. Holly J, the trophy. I forced myself to get under her skin, showing up where she would least expect me. That game ended when she broke through my heart breaker façade. Degrassi, my first public school experience, was the best year of my life.
I wondered about her, was she upset, also? Was she glad we were on a break, or was it she was just as heart broken? These answered were nowhere to be found anywhere inside myself. I dialed her number and stared at her picture until I fell back asleep for the night.