The bar we were playing at was dark and smoky. I hated these bars they always made me cough which only added to my pre-show jitters. I and five other girls played in a punk rock band, we were the largest and in my eyes the best band in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Not that there were many punk rock bands in Tulsa. I looked around, most people in the bar dyed their hair and everyone had more than one piercing and a few tattoos. We had our amps up loud so music blared, not bad music, good, hard, angry, emotional music. Red and Kay, our singers danced and jumped around. Red was famous her for voices, she could make her voice sound like a little girls high pitched voice at one moment, and a man's deep growl the next. She could sing impersonating a country twang or rap like Eminem himself, she could even sing screamo style. Red had bright red hair, but she got her nickname because she is loud and obnoxious like the color red. Reds eyes were bright blue; she was eighteen and had no intentions of growing up. Red loved life, her plan was to live each day as though it were her last, and many thought each day was her last. Lane was a model type of beautiful. Her eyes were a kind smiling brown, she had pale skin, and a medium frame, and she was in perfect proportion. Everything about Lane is perfect. Well not really, but no one knows that except me. Lane dyed her hair a lilac in honor of her friend who died when she was four. Every color Lane dyes her hair has some special meaning to her, but again no one knows that accept me. Lane could sing for hours on end and her voice would still be amazing. I looked around to the two guitarists, Jess and Sam. Jess was the youngest of the group, little sister to Lane. Jess was fourteen and not allowed to bleach her hair until she was sixteen so her dark brown hair was dyed a bright but natural red, her eyes were a muted blue, even though she insisted they were grey. Even though she was two years younger than me, Jess was a half inch taller than me and technically in the same grade even though we have no classes together; almost all of my classes were honors, at least in science. Jess was my best friend, she was honest but kind and a little shy when meeting new people. Sam was a tall, slim girl, she was seventeen her hair was dyed a vibrant pink, but her eyes were a deep, cold green Sam could fake her moods or personalities, but no one knows that except me. Sam and Lane were best friends since anyone could remember. Finally I looked at our drummer, Mayday; her real name was May because it was the month she was born in. Mayday got her nickname because she caused a few problems worth saying Mayday. Mayday was tall and muscular without looking like the hulk; she had sharp green eyes and natural dark brown hair, she didn't want to damage her hair with bleach. She was incredibly proud of her largely gaged ears. Mayday had so much built up anger at the world, making her an amazing drummer. Mayday was a cold hard person and everyone thinks she doesn't have emotions, but I know she has many, to many built up emotions. I looked down at my bass. My name is Kay, I am sixteen, I dye my dirty blond hair black, my eyes are dark brown almost black. On the surface my skin is perfect although too pale, but really I have scars everywhere, my face where my parents hit me is usually bruised and scared. My legs have long thin scars across my upper thighs which is why I always wear pants or long shorts. My wrists also have scars just like my thighs which is why I always wear bracelets or long-sleeved shirts. Lastly my back has wide red scars from my drunken father whipping me with his belt. On the outside I have flawless skin and no one except the band knows about my scars. I am incredibly small and skinny for my age. I am described as a quiet person, being quiet makes people trust me; people tell me stuff that they won't even tell their best friends. I know even if people don't tell me, I can just tell. After we finished our set we started to pack up. Lane was in the middle of carrying an amplifier weighing as much as she did, when six boys came over,
"Hey you need help?" asked one of them, he had a movie-star like smile, he seemed to be that person that everyone liked.
"Yeah, can you help pack up the snare drum?" grunted Mayday
"The what?" asked the guy
"Never mind." Said Mayday, annoyed.
"You sure?" he asked "I think your friend is about to be crushed."
"Oh she's fine." Said motioning to me. Red shortly came over to the rescue by grabbing the amp from my arms.
"So Kay, what are we doing tonight?" asked Red. I shrugged in response.
"I vote we go out and party." Said Red
"I dunno about you but I'm going to Starbucks." I said. I love coffee, and Starbucks, I can just sit there and listen to music, and write, or draw. I don't have to talk or drink beer like I would at a bar; I can drink coffee and sit in silence.
"You bore me Kay." Said Red, and she walked away. Red was known to speak her mind in a blunt dead-pan fashion. After a while Lane and Sam walked up to me and Jess, "well I am done with every guy in this place." Said Lane
"Yeah can we leave now?" asked Sam
"I dunno, Red and Mayday are really chatting it up with those guys." Said Jess nodding over to Mayday and Red. "Oh the guys left, yeah let's go."
"What guys?" asked Lane
"Oh there were about six guys standing over there, I guess they left." Said Jess
"So what do you want to do know?" asked Mayday coming over
"Kay wants to go to Starbucks." Said Red coming over too. I blushed, I can't help it.
"Don't you want to finish your ear piercing?" Lane asked me
"Yeah." I muttered. I got all up my ear pierced so when I wear all small hoop earrings my ear looks bionic; I also want to get my lip and nose pierced.
"So then let's go to Mo's." Said Lane "Jess, if you don't tell Jen, you can get a second piercing, as your late fourteenth birthday present." Jen was Lane and Jess's oldest sister; she took care of them since their parents died in a fire. Jen had to work two jobs and Lane had to work as well in order to keep their family together.
"Yes!" shouted Jess. So we made our way down to Mo's tattoo and piercing parlor. Everyone in the band has sat in Mo's chair getting an ear pierced or a tattoo done. As we walked down the street to Mo's we ran into the six boys from the bar. I could see them better now. The one who asked if they needed help before was tall and muscular, he looked like could be a model for a magazine. If it weren't for his pierced ears and My Chemical Romance band shirt I would have thought he was a pop. A pop is short for popular. At school we naturally divided ourselves into groups, the punks, the jocks, the musicians and artists, nerds, and the popular people. The punks were the people being caught smoking, drinking and listening to punk music behind the bleachers at school. The pops are the people smoking, drinking and listening to pop music, behind the bleachers at school and making out with the jocks or cheerleaders. The pops were almost always fake. All the teachers and adults even young kids thought the punks were emo, and depressed and destructive just because we listen to punk music, dye our hair, and have more than on piercing. The pops and punks fought, no one knows why but we do. At school and sometimes outside of school, I would need all my fingers and toes just to start to count how many times I had been literally thrown into a wall, or called a 'basket case' or 'whore' even though the most intimate thing I ever did was wave to a person. Most pops were just so uncreative that they just called us 'punk.'
"Hey, again." Said the boy.
"Hey." Said Lane
I saw the guys up close now. There was the handsome one; standing next to him was a smaller boy. He was slightly less muscular than the boy standing next to him, but he had the same hair, same skin, I knew they were brothers. The boy had grey-green eyes, almost like Jess's if her eyes were green. Standing on the other side of the tall boy was a guy same height, around his age. The guy had piercing blue eyes, dirty blonde hair and tan skin. Three guys stood in the back. One was around twenty, tall muscular, he had white blond hair and a scowl on his face. He looked like he had never smiled in his life; he looked like the person who could never see the good in the world. Not that there was much. Next to him was a guy around eighteen was my guess. Unlike the man next to him the guy looked like he had never frowned before, he was on the tall stocky side; he had bright blue hair and brown eyes. My eyes finally found the small boy. He was around the same age as me, he was on the small side, but he was still a half inch taller than me. He had large dark brown eyes, tan skin, and long shaggy black hair. I saw in his eyes that he was shy, and very skittish.
"What are you doing?" asked the boy
"We're going to Mo's." said Lane "you wanna come?" she added slyly.
Everyone groaned inwardly, I could see it on their faces. Lane had the habit of inviting random guys into whatever we were doing. It usually ended poorly. Now there were more than one, this was I had a feeling not going to end well. I didn't mind getting my ears pierced if it was just with the band, but I hate people watching someone sticking a needle in my ear.
"Yeah Steve was gonna get his ear pierced." Said the guy nodding towards the guy on his left
"Yes I am." Said the guy who must be Steve, he was staring mostly at Sam.
"Well then let's go." Said Lane
Soon our group and the guys mixed together. Jess and I walked in the back with the small boy and the other boys little brother. The small boy's name was Johnny and the other kid was named Ponyboy. We introduced our selves but didn't talk much. I was right Ponyboy was the younger brother to the handsome guy that Lane was currently chatting up. And Johnny was shy and skittish. Soon we reached Mo's tattoos and piercings. We entered Mo's and the familiar scent of antiseptic and tattoo ink greeted us. Mo, a short stocky man with a greasy gray ponytail greeted us. He had tattoos all over his arms and I guess everywhere else on his body. He wore black baggy jeans a gray shirt and a black vest.
"Hello ladies, who's getting stuck today?" asked Mo chuckling at his own joke.
"Jess is, Kay is finishing her ears, and Steve is piercing his ear too." Said Lane
"Okay then, Jess you shall be on my chopping block first." Said Mo, chuckling at his own joke again.
"okay." Said jess laughing meekly
"You want a your second piercing right?" he asked, leading her to his chair.
"yeah." Said Jess tying her hair in a knot.
"okay." He said sterilizing his hands "on the count of three, one… two…three… click" with a small click an earring was inserted in her ear right above her first piercing. "And the other ear, one…two…three… click." Her other ear was pierced. I saw that Jess had her eyes shut the entire time, and she was holding onto the arm rests so hard her knuckles were white. "Okay you're good to go, just keep it clean, and don't take the earrings out for about four weeks." This information was wasted, now everyone in our group had at least two piercings.
"Alright Kay you need to show me where you want your ear pierced?" asked Mo
"Right here." I said pointing to the mid part of my cartilage
"Okay, one…two…three…click, and one… Two…three…click." said Mo. I felt preasure on the spot where the earing was entering my ear, but it didn't hurt. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance after being slapped around by my parents.
"Ah Kay, it's the end of an era. Your ear has been pierced about twenty times, some on purpose, some not." Said Mayday glaring at Red when she said the last part.
"Um how do you accidently pierce and ear?" asked the angry guy, whose name is Dally.
"Red?" I asked
"Well then. I was helping Kay put an earring in, but I couldn't see the piercing so I just shoved the earring in. And that is the story of how Kay got her third piercing." Said Red. She had told the story a million times, sometimes it was proudly, other times she was apologetic. Once I overheard her telling the story where I was stabbed in the ear by a pop.
"Who is my last victim?" asked Mo
"I am." Said Steve
Jess and I got bored; we had watched every person in our band get at least on ear piercing. I was the person to put Maydays gages in. we were looking at the tattoo displays when I heard a cry. I looked at Jess and saw that she too was surprised. I looked over and saw Steve just as Mo was about to put the other earring in. I heard the cry again, it was Steve. Jess and I exchanged grins. 'That's right tougher than a dude.' Her eyes said plainly. Half of my mouth curled up into my awkward lopsided grin.
"Well shoot, with ears like yours you could get a job at Hot Topic." Said the stocky guy coming over.
"I do work at Hot Topic." I said simply. Returning to the tattoo design book that I was leafing through.
"Well then that explains a lot." Said the guy walking away. I turned over and saw him talking to Johnny. I felt his dark eyes stare into me, for some reason it made me feel more uncomfortable than usual.
We reconvened outside of Mo's. "So what do you want to do now?" Asked Sam.
"I vote we do something." Said Red
"Well no shit Sherlock." Said Sam.
Red scoffed but stayed quiet.
"No really, what should we do?" asked Sam again
"I think there's a free concert across town, some new band." Said Lane
"Well if we are going to across town, can we drop off our instruments first?" Said Red. I was thankful because my knees were about to buckle under the weight of my bass.
"Wait why should we go to some other new band, and why do they get a concert and we don't?" asked Mayday
"Okay we go home and then, do something." Said Sam
"Okay what is this something you speak of?" asked the tall stocky guy
"Well Two-Bit we don't know yet." Said the angry looking guy, and then he muttered under his breath. "Moron."
"Well if you guys aren't doing anything interesting, I'm breaking off." Said Red and Two-Bit, at the same time.
If we were just going to walk around all night, I'd rather stay home. My home is not a pretty place. Over the past years it has been described as a war zone, a torture chamber, and saws home sweet home. My parents made it clear since day one that I was not wanted, and I was just a burden to society. Walking around my house is like walking around a minefield, do one wrong thing and it is world war three, where I am Iceland and my parents are Russia. I try to stay away from my house as much as possible. No one would care if I stayed out late, or if I was sick and dying. I had an older sister, her name was Kim; she taught me how to play bass. She would care if I got sick; she was the reason why I was in the band. One day she went home early from band practice, she told me she wasn't feeling well. I remember her exact words to me, "I love you Kay, and don't let anything get you down." I remember feeling confused as to why she told me this, and I didn't know why she gave me her only and favorite bracelet. A small silver band that she had won in a contest, I still wear it. I didn't know why she suddenly dyed her hair black. I couldn't understand why, until I got home that night. It was just getting dark and I had walked home with the band. I had a nervous feeling inside my stomach, like something was terribly wrong. I remember finding my parents passed out on the couch. I was nauseous I remember stumbling into the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was blood. There was so much blood, everywhere, pooled in dark crimson puddles on the floor, splashed on the wall, in the sink, and worst of all mixed with water in the bath tub. The same bath tub that held my sister, limp, lifeless, dead. I just stood there for what seemed like a century, until it finally hit me Kim, me caring, kind; sweet sister was dead, never coming back. I couldn't take it I began screaming, and crying. I hated everything, my parents for not caring about us. Myself, I didn't see that she needed help, I didn't notice that she was depressed. Finally someone pulled me back; I didn't want to leave her. Finally I collapsed into Maydays arms. She heard me scream and ran back. I never saw Mayday cry, but there they were, tears rolling down her face. I finally stopped screaming and just started sobbing onto her shoulder. After a while paramedics came to take away Kim's body. I don't know when but somehow I got to Jess's house. I just sat there, stunned, confused. Everyone was just dazed. The usual joy and happiness that was Jess's house was gone, as though it was sucked out.
"Kay?" my thoughts were interrupted by jess's voice "Kay?" she said again
"Hmm." I replied
"Dr. Who?" she asked. Jess and I would watch Dr. Who for hours. We had seen every episode, but we would rather re-watch every episode than go out.
I nodded in response. "Kay and I are gonna go home." Said Jess.
"Oh come on, be social." Said Lane
Jess and I looked at each other and answered in unison "nah."
"Kay, you don't want to work on CBP?" asked Lane.
My city beautification process Lane called it was my graffiti. I started painting shortly after Kim died. I could express every emotion I could feel in art. One day I couldn't deal with the fact that no one seemed to care that my sweet, loving sister had killed herself. I decided to make them remember. When night fell I grabbed my cans of spray paint and walked to Kim's favorite place, the town library. Kim would take me there when our parents got "out of control." As she would say. The library donated a small wall for local artists to display their work. There was one piece of graffiti that bothered Kim, so I painted over it and then painted a small portrait of Kim, under it I wrote Kim's age, the day she was born, the day she died, and her last words to me. I knew she would have wanted everyone to know them. What I didn't know was Mayday had followed me. She thought I was going home to kill myself as well. Mayday ran home and when I came back the next day I was bombarded with questions and comments about my "graffiti" Red, Mayday, Lane, and Jess thought it was cool and Jen thought I was destroying the beauty of the city. After a while I explained that the wall that I painted Kim on was for local artists. After a while I began painting on other walls until Red, Mayday, Lane and Jess found out. They nicknamed it my City Beautification Project or CBP.
We walked home. Jess and I didn't talk and neither did Ponyboy and Johnny. Sodapop and Lane were in a deep conversation about something. Red and Two-Bit were talking and laughing about god knows what. Sam and Steve were laughing probably about his reaction at Mo's. Even Mayday and the angry looking guy were talking about something. I looked over at Jess to see her staring at Ponyboy. I caught her eye, and nodded in his direction. I raised my eyebrows in a 'why don't you go talk to him?' type of expression. She drew her eyebrows closer together, looked up through them and frowned as though to say 'no!' I raised my right eyebrow saying, 'why not?' she bit her lower lip and looked down at her nose as though to say 'won't like me' I just looked at her hoping my face said 'don't know until you try' apparently she got my message because she took a deep breath and walked over to Ponyboy.
I was left walking alone. I didn't mind being alone is one of my favorite feelings. When I am alone I can think about whatever I want without feeling like people know what I am thinking about. I was in the middle of thinking about my next piece of art when I felt another person standing beside me. I looked to my right and saw Johnny. We waved at each other and continued walking. Soon we arrived at Jess's house. Red put her guitar down and Lane and Sam went to go get sweatshirts. Everyone in the band left their stuff at Jess and Lane's house. It drives Jen mad, but deep down she doesn't mind. Jen used to be in the band as a keyboardist bit then she had to work and band became a last priority. Having us around makes her feel still excepted by the band.
Jess and Ponyboy were still in a deep conversation so I began to grab whatever snacks were in the house. After a couple minutes Jess came in, "Ponyboy and Johnny are gonna stay with us." She said opening a cabinet and grabbing a couple bags of chips. I inwardly groaned, if Jess was going to turn into Lane, inviting random guys into whatever we were doing I would need to find new friends.
I grabbed the six pack of Dr. Pepper took out two cans and walked into the living room. I set down the remaining cans on the table and started to walk out.
"Where are you going?" asked Jess walking out of the kitchen with a large bowl of chips.
"CBP." I answered simply.
"You want us to come with you?" asked Jess
I shook my head and ran to my house for spray paint. I gingerly stepped inside our small one floor house to see my parents in the middle of a major fight. I sighed and prepared for a beating. I walked as quickly and silently as possible to my room, but it was too late, my mom looked at me and without missing a beat threw a punch to the middle of my cheek. I didn't even flinch, I was used to being beaten and abused by my parents. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" yelled my mother.
"I just needed to get something." I muttered
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" yelled my father
"I just needed to get something." I said a little louder
"CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" asked my mother
"No." I said quietly
"That's what I thought." Said my father
"GET OUT OF HERE!" screeched my mother. I quickly ran to my room grabbed my bag and jumped out the small window in my room.
I ran down the street, turned, down another street. I ran for a couple more minutes until I stopped in front of the opening of a small bridge. It was abandoned years ago, people go there to be alone or make out. Everyone calls it the point of no return, because five people committed suicide in the tunnel. It was said to be haunted by the people that killed themselves. I stepped in. The tunnel smelled damp and musty, I could hear water drip slowly from small cracks in the ceiling. I dropped my bag and pulled out a can of white spray paint. After covering both walls a ghostly white I took the pencil from behind my ear and sketched. After I finished my drawing I pulled out a can of black spray paint, and then frosty blue. I painted for about two hours until I finished, when I was done I stepped back and admired my work. On both walls was a single file line of people with their heads down and shoulders slumped, they wore ratty black, blue, and white pants, shirts or dresses. On the top of the right wall I wrote "welcome to the tunnel of lost souls." And on the top of the left wall I wrote "we will accept you with open arms, but be warned, this is the point of no return." After I looked at my work I packed up my paint and ran back to Jess's house.
Jess, Ponyboy and Johnny were in the middle of an episode of Dr. Who when I stepped in.
"Where were you?" Jess asked
I shrugged and grabbed the remaining can of soda and a handful of chips. I sat on the floor and listened to Jess explain the show to Ponyboy. We just started the next episode when Red, Mayday, Lane, and Sam walked in along with Two-Bit, Dally, Steve, and Sodapop. They were laughing and out of breath.
"Damn! You guys missed a lot." Said Red after a while
"Shame." Said Jess and Ponyboy at the same time. Everyone stared at them and then burst out laughing. I finally saw it; Jess and Ponyboy were so similar. They were both the youngest who lost parents. They were both deep thinkers, the ones who would get lost in a book, watching sunsets, and watching movies. I didn't know Ponyboy but you could tell he was the same.
I looked down at my hands and saw that I got paint on them. Mayday saw my hands too because she asked what I did. Mayday Knew that I was out painting, she really meant to ask where I went.
I shrugged and got up to throw away my can of soda. The night passed quickly after that.
I woke up the next morning to being jumped on. I screamed at the top of my lungs, I wound up my arm and punched the person right in the jaw. I heard a cry of pain but didn't look back. I just ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. '
"Kay, what the hell?" said Mayday, she too had stayed over at Jess's house. "Seriously what's going on?" she asked again seeing the kitchen knife in my hand.
"Person… in the living… room… jumped on… me." I said breathlessly. Mayday's eyes hardened in furry. She opened the door ready to ambush the pervert, when she stopped and started laughing. I looked at her, puzzled.
"It's Sodapop and Steve." She said through fits of maniacal laughter. "Look, and for god's sake put down the damn knife." She added.
I looked out through the kitchen door and saw Sodapop and Steve from the night before. Sodapop was sitting on the couch rubbing his jaw bewilderedly. Steve was doubled over laughing. I felt my cheeks flush and muttered a small "sorry"
"Sodapop you are an idiot, who the hell jumps on a sleeping person?" asked Mayday angrily.
"Sorry I didn't see anyone." Said Sodapop.
"it's alright." I muttered quietly
"What happened?" said Jen running down stairs "I heard screaming is everything okay?" she stopped at the bottom of the stairs and surveyed the room "who are these people?" she asked
"Well I am Mayday; this is Kay, Sodapop, and Steve." Said Mayday pointing to each of us. "Sodapop didn't see Kay sleeping and jumped on her. Kay being the sensible person that she is freaked out and punched Sodapop in the face." Said Mayday
"Okay Sodapop, Steve, what the heck are you doing in my house at." She checked her watch "nine o'clock in the morning?"
"Lane left her sweatshirt in the park last night. Nothing serious happened." Sodapop added after seeing Jens murderous look.
"So then why is Steve here?" asked Jen
"Yes Steve why are you here?" asked Sodapop
Steve shrugged "I dunno, I had nothing better to do." He said
"Oh hey." Said Lane walking downstairs
"You… You left your sweatshirt in the park, I was walking by and saw it this morning." Said Sodapop blushing.
"Oh thank you." Said Lane sweetly, "You wanna hang out later?"
"Yeah sure." Said Sodapop
"Oh Sam's coming over later you wanna come to?" Lane asked Steve.
"Yeah." Said Steve
"Okay now that this is over do you mind letting us sleep until past nine." Said Jen.
"Yeah, sorry, see yah later." Said Sodapop and Steve.
After they left Lane and Jen went back upstairs to sleep and Mayday and I turned on the TV.
We watched TV in silence for a while until she broke the silence.
"So, the Johnny kid was checking you out last night." She said.
"Hmm…" I said in return. The last thing I wanted was any form of a relationship. If you want to be technical you could say that I have social anxiety. Obviously not extreme because I play in a band, but at the same time I hyperventilate when it comes to meeting new people or talking about myself.
"Oh come on Kay, get out there, be social for once." She said painfully reminding me of Kim. Kim was the only person who could calm me down in social situations.
I just shook my head and continued watching TV hoping Mayday would get the hint.
"Seriously all you do is homework and play bass and then when you're done with that you watch TV. By the time I was sixteen I already had three boyfriends." Said Mayday, obviously not getting my hint.
"Uh-Hu." I said
"Seriously he is apparently a nice, also socially awkward person." Said Mayday "just go out and watch a movie, no social interaction required."
"No." I said quietly but firmly.
"Watch a one minute video alone with him?" asked Mayday hopefully
"nuh-uh." I said
"oh come on. You gotta get out there sometime." Said Mayday
"I'll wait until I have to." I said
"what if you go on a double date with Jess to a movie?" asked Mayday
"Mayday no, I can't" I said
"Alright don't blame me when you are alone and Johnny has a date." Said Mayday
We went back to watching TV until Red and Sam came over and Jess, Jen and Lane came downstairs. Jen and Lane had to get ready for work and Red was getting in the way as always.
"Red, for once can you just calm down or be helpful?" asked Jen tiredly
"Sorry calm and helpful are not in my vocabulary." Said Red impishly
"Of course they're not." Muttered Jen under her breath
"So kids, what are we doing today?" Red asked Jess and I after Jen and Lane went to work and Mayday got bored and left too.
Jess and I shrugged and continued to watch TV.
"Oh come on. I was left in charge to make sure that you guys do something besides watch TV today."
"Okay then." Said Jess trailing off the think about what to do. "Kay! You painted last night didn't you?"
I nodded my head.
"Let's go to see it." Said Jess excitedly
"Yeah!" said Red as well. I shook my head and stayed firmly in my seat while Jess and Red got their coats. The last thing that I wanted was everyone in the band seeing my art, or at least knowing it was mine.
Before I could say anything Red picked me up on her backand carried me outside.
"lead us almighty master." Said Red
"can I at least get my shoes?" I asked
"no, Jess get Kay's shoes." Shouted Red
"why can't Kay?" Jess shouted back
"because she would just hide somewhere." Roared Red
"Red you're gonna bring everyone outside." I said
"so." She said with a shrug "I don't care the more the merrier."
Jess came out with my shoes just as Ponyboy, Two-Bit and Johnny came out from across the street.
"why hello there." Said Two-Bit "we heard shouting and wanted to join the action."
I tried to wriggle down from Reds shoulders but she kept her grip on my legs. Something about sitting on Reds back wasn't appealing. I saw Johnny looking at me, something about his gaze seemed to calm me down, for the first time since Kim died I wasn't freaked out by someone that I didn't know.
"Oh we were just going out to see Kay's work." Said Red
I hit her upper thigh with the back of my foot and then busied myself with trying to put my shoes on while still on Reds back to avoid the stares.
"Well then let's go." Said Two-Bit
"Alright where to?" Red asked me. I pointed in the general direction of the tunnel.
"can you put me down now?" I asked after we walked a couple blocks. I was forced to listen to Red and Two-Bits conversation and was ready to run away.
"Okay but don't even think about running away." Said Red letting me off her back.
I joined Jess, Ponyboy and Johnny. Jess and Ponyboy were talking about movies and Johnny was walking silently beside them. I walked with them not speaking. Red shouted back to me for where to turn and all too soon we reached the tunnel. I stayed back just outside the tunnel as Red Two-Bit, Jess, Ponyboy and Johnny walked in. Just as they entered the tunnel I began to run away from the tunnel, I took a shortcut through the woods so no one would know where I went. I didn't know where to go after I got back to my house. I didn't want to go inside but I didn't know what else to do, my shift at hot topic started in an hour so I decided to go to the mall early and get a cup of coffee.
A half hour into my shift Red, Jess, Two-Bit, Ponyboy and Johnny came in. I can't seem to get away from them. They walked around and I ignored them until Johnny came to the cash register to buy a CD. I looked down to find the price and saw it was a Fall Out Boy album. He looked up and saw my Fall Out Boy shirt.
"I like your shirt." Said Johnny quietly
"I like your taste in music." I said equally as quiet.
"Thanks." He muttered and walked back to Ponyboy
I stayed behind the counter waiting for everyone to leave but they wouldn't. Jess came up to buy a bracelet a couple minutes after Johnny did.
"So Johnny's been checking you out." She said with a grin
"mh-hu." I said in return
"Alright Kay what would you say if he asked you out?" asked Jess
I whipped around the angriest I have been since Kim died. "No!" I said. First Mayday and now Jess. Why was everyone trying to set me up with Johnny?
"Okay then." Said Jess, her shoulders slumping as she walked away. I guess she saw my anger. I hate to see her sad but I everyone knows that I hate social interaction, yet people still expect me to go out on a date with a person I don't know.
A few minute later Red came over with bleach and blue hair dye. I rang her up and then she handed the bag back to me. "Happy birthday!" she shouted.
I looked at her with a confused expression on my face. It wasn't my birthday, even if it was no one recognizes my birthday. I hate everything about birthdays so I always avoid the band until my birthday is over. After a couple years everyone just stopped trying to celebrate my birthday and just let me leave for a day.
"I'm gonna dye your hair, not-black." Said Red
"No, please don't." I pleaded
"Nope, I can't stand to see you with black hair anymore." She said. I knew she meant that I looked too much like Kim when she was depressed. She and Kim were good friends before Kim broke down, after Kim's silent break down she kind of pushed Red away.
"fine." I said. The blue was dark enough to look like black and Red wouldn't stop pestering me until I did.
"Alright tonight after your shift is done." Said Red
My shift ended without much excitement. I walked to Jess's house so Red could dye my hair. I debated not going but I knew that Red would just hunt me down or wait for me to come back the next day. I walked in the house without knocking and stopped in my tracks sitting on the couch along with the band was Dally, Two-Bit, Sodapop, Steve, Johnny, and Ponyboy. I started to panic, there were too many people, way too many people, why were they here? Before anyone even noticed I was there I ran to the bathroom. I was forced to see a therapist after I missed a week of school due to panic attacks. I was prescribed pills at first I had to take them every day because I would get attacks at the thought of school. After a while I could just take them when I had a panic attack. I couldn't think strait, I was numb and sweaty. I decided to keep the pills at Jess's house because my parents would take them all and then I would have none.
I ruffled through the medicine cabinet and found the jar of pills, I took one and knelt to the ground in between the toilet and sink and waited for the medicine to kick in. I rested my head against the cool stone sink. I guess I fell asleep because I woke up to someone washing their hands. I looked up and saw Johnny he looked down at me and blushed.
"Um did you?' he asked
"What? Oh no." I said smiling a little. He knelt down to look me in the eye.
"Are you okay?" he asked
"Yeah, panic attack." I said feeling myself relax; I didn't know if it was the pills or something calming about his dark brown eyes.
"Oh do you need anything?" he asked
"No thanks I'm fine." I said getting up and wiping my hands on the back of my pants
Johnny walked out and I waited a couple minutes catching my breath and walked out.
"Oh hello there, you ready?" asked Red
"Yeah." I said
"What are you guys doing?" asked Mayday
"I am dying Kay's hair blue." Said Red importantly
"In the bathroom." Said Jen
"Yes mom." Said Red
Red ran to the bathroom as I trailed behind her. I walked to the bathroom and saw Red already mixing the bleach.
"Alright let's do this!" Said Red.
After an hour of my scalp burning from bleach Red washed the bleach from my hair and blow dried it out. I looked in the mirror and saw not me but Kim. I saw Kim in the bathroom covered in blood, but she wasn't dead she was alive, and yelling at me. "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME!" she shouted "Look at what you made me do!" she yelled "You knew what I was going through, you could have stopped me."
"Kay!" Reds shout disturbed my thoughts "Kay calm down, your shaking."
"It's Kim." I whispered "It's my fault."
"Kay it's not your fault, she made up her mind no one could stop her." Said Red her usual cheeriness vanished.
"Hey guys what does Kay look like blond?" Shouted Lane from downstairs. Red and I looked at each other I shook my head; she pulled out her cell phone and snapped a picture of me.
"Let's get this dye in." said Red after a while.
Red combed the dye into my hair and then half walked half dragged me downstairs. Everyone was watching TV. I saw Johnny our eyes lingered on each other until finally I broke his gaze to sit down on the floor.
An hour passed quickly and soon Red took me back upstairs to wash out my hair. After she finished blow drying it I looked in the mirror I turned around angry at Red—what was supposed to be a dark almost black blue, was actually a bright eye catching blue.
"Red, it's too bright." I croaked
"Oh come on you'll be fine." She said. I flicked the hoodie of my sweatshirt over my hair and walked downstairs. The night passed by slowly, my hair was revealed by Red, and we watched bad movies. I slept over at Jess's house again because I really didn't face my parents.
"How does she sleep through all this noise?" I heard someone say.
"Oh Kay can sleep through a tornado." I heard Mayday say. I heard the sound of a plunger being peeled off a wall and guessed that Mayday was making out with the person on the couch.
I slept some more, and woke up to more people on the couch watching TV and eating breakfast. I opened my eyes to see the same people from last night.
"Well good morning Kay." Said Red
"Morning" I muttered and went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.
"You're too young for coffee" said Jen who was cleaning up dishes from breakfast.
"Uh-Hu" I said taking my cup of coffee to the couch.
"So what are we doing today?" asked Red.
"I don't have work today so I'm open." Said Lane
"Okay anyone up for a movie?" asked Red
A chorus of "I'm in" and "Okay" came from Ponyboy, Jess, Lane, Sodapop, Sam, Steve, Two-Bit Mayday and Dally.
"Kay, Johnnycake you two in?" asked Two-Bit
"Work." I said quietly, speaking of which I had to go. "Bye." I said quietly and got up to go to my house so I could get changed and touch up my makeup.
I entered my house greeted by the familiar sound of stuff being thrown around. I heard it from my parents room. I changed, grabbed my bag and walked to the bus stop.
The bus was fairly crowded for a Sunday so I had to stand in the back. I reached the store five minutes before my shift started and looked around. One of the perks of being an employee at Hot Topic was a discount. I started stoking the t-shirts when Johnny walked in. He stepped under the ladder that I was on looking at the shirts. I stepped down and pushed the ladder to the other side of the store; he followed and looked at the shirts. I finished stoking the shirts and walked to behind the cash register, he followed me and looked at the pins that are kept near the cash register.
"Hey kid are you going to buy anything or just follow Kay around?" asked Jim the manager of the store. Jim was pierced and tattooed in every place imaginable. Jim was intimidating looking but actually very nice.
"Oh sorry." He said leaving
"No Johnny wait." I said "Jim this is Johnny he is a friend of mine." I don't know why I called Johnny a friend or why I wanted him to come back.
"Sorry about Jim." I said to Johnny once he came back
"It's fine." He said
"So did you listen to the fall out boy album?" I asked. I silently cursed at myself-why am I trying to talk to Johnny?
"Yeah it was great." He said
"So do you like fall out boy or was just that album?" I asked. Why wasn't I freaking out?
"No, I like their older stuff." He said "Do you like fall out boy?"
"Yeah." I said
He started to shift nervously and I'm pretty sure a blush was creeping into is face "W-would you wanna go possibly get a cup of coffee sometime? If you want to." He said
"Sure." I said giving him a small shy smile. "I have a break in five minutes."
"Alright see you then." He said and walked out.
My break came around and I walked over to the small coffee shop around the corner. I saw Johnny sitting at a table. I took a deep breath and walked over to him.
"Hello." I said for some reason I didn't feel all that nervous
"Hey." He said
We got in line to order coffee.
"So what other bands do you like?" he asked
"Well there's green day, MCR, falling in reverse, nirvana, the Ramones." I said "how about you?"
"Yeah basically the same. How about the Beatles?" He said
"Oh yeah the Beatles are great. Really any classic rock, or new rock, or punk rock." I said
"Yeah I kind of guessed because you work at hot topic and you're in a band." He said
As the time passed our conversation got easier and soon I had to go back to work.
"Oh shoot I have to go, I'll see you later." I said
"Yeah okay." He said as I ran out of the shop back to the store.
Later Mayday came into the store. I was stoking a bracelet display when Mayday came over with a superior know it all look.
"So, I saw you and Johnny at the coffee shop." She said with a smirk
"Yeah." I said
"Was it like a date? Or something else?" she asked
"I think it was a date." I said
"Yay! See Kay it didn't kill you to be social?" she asked
"No it didn't." I said
"So you took my advice." She said
"No I didn't, I just got lost in." and then I cut myself off, Mayday would tease me to no end if I finished my sentence. I walked over to the cash register.
"In what? His dreamy eyes?" asked Mayday propping her elbows on the counter and cupping her chin in her palms "Oh no wait let me guess, his smile." She said
"Sure." I said rolling my eyes "So how about you and Dally?" I asked
"Listen you, no one is to know about the fact that Dally and I are dating, no one!" she said
"Okay, sorry." I said