This is my first time writing airbender fic and I know it goes against the canon, but it was written for an LJ friend who requested this and given that she drew me such lovely Naruto fanart, who was I to refuse? :) Enjoy!
But I love your feet
only because they walked
upon the earth and upon
the wind and upon the waters,
until they found me.
-Pablo Neruda
It begins the day Katara leaves them. Toph can't watch the boat leave, but she measures the distance by the length of Aang's sighs. His body rocks against the sand like so many small waves, his fingers scooping up the granules like so many pieces of his broken heart before scattering them again.
She hates that even after all these years of friendship, she doesn't know how to make it better or that the next time they meet, things won't be the same. The scars will be there, like fissures in the stone no matter how many smiles he plasters over them.
Digging her toes into the sand, she draws on that other part of her and sends a wave that pushes him over. He utters a protest, his feet scrambling for purchase as she sends another his way.
"Come on twinkle toes," she laughs at his indignation. "You can dance better than that!"
Toph stands on the step of Iroh's teashop. Aang doesn't announce his presence, but he doesn't need to. His step is unmistakeable, the shape of his his heel and the small rounded toes as clear to her as a thumbprint.
Toph downs the rest of her cup- the liquid scorching it's way down her throat- and thanks Iroh for the tea. She approaches Aang with a grin she doesn't really mean, aware of the angry thrumming of his heart.
She doesn't need the bad news straight from his mouth. The rumors will catch and follow his heels soon enough. And so Toph eases into an offensive stance and asks her old friend if he's come back for more.
Today his body moves like clouds and Toph finds herself struggling to keep him anchored. She finds herself asking the question she usually avoids and like that, his arms are around her.
She stands, stiff as a boulder with Aang's face buried in her shoulder. She can visualize the nose pressed into her collar bone and the shape of a mouth whispering against her.
Katara.
That one word escapes him before his shoulders are trembling. She's not certain how to yield to this, and so she stands firm, acts as the pillar upholding his sinking weight and tries not to crumble under his tears.
She is sixteen, when Iroh convinces her father to let her teach. The famed tea maker brings his best brew and while her father is busy murmuring praise for its deliciousness, he nods when Iroh sneaks in the question. When he discovers the mistake it is too late, and Iroh is pouring him a fresh cup when he rationalizes that if she could teach the avatar earthbending, then she can teach anyone.
And weeks later he brings his pot, his tray and his cups to the opening. He explains that it's for tea time, to which Toph argues there will be no breaks.
And when the first lesson ends in three crying students and two broken walls after a scant twenty minutes, Toph stomps angrily off the practice grounds. She tells Iroh to stuff it, ignoring the steaming cup beside him while he calmly sips from his own.
When Aang finally visits her school, she feels an incredible sense of relief. She drags him straight to their old stomping grounds and doesn't give any warning as she sends the first boulder hurling toward him.
He's on point this time, his energy focused and his response as quick as her own. She is the angry one this time, and she can feel herself getting sloppy when she misses a shot by a fraction of an inch or her reaction time is nearly a second too slow.
She is frustrated when Aang doesn't resort to the other elements or fall back on airbending to avoid a blow. He stands his ground in front of her, feet planted solidly where she can see them.
Frustrated, she huffs and snorts through her nostrils. She stomps her foot against the ground, putting up a wall between them. It's been a long time, but she leaves that wall there, turning her back.
Aang is light on his feet, like he's tip toeing closer to her. His hand touches her shoulder and she pauses, allowing it to linger there. He asks her what's wrong in that soft tone of his.
Toph is quiet as she ponders her answer. She's aware of how close he is standing, how easy it would be to strike against him now. She's aware of the warmth of his fingers and how it comforts her, like running her feet against cool water or smooth stones.
She can't fathom what Suki's dress looks like or even the color of her own. At Sokka's wedding she's only aware of the hundreds of feet stomping out celebratory dances and the rhythm of heartbeats pulsing with elation. She can visualize the weaving of bodies and the wave of their hands. She's even certain she could hazard the routine and get at least half of it right.
She recognizes Zuko's laughter ringing out despite the cacophony, and Katara's following close behind. Their voices float like two songbirds, rising in the air from the circle of their arms.
Sokka notices the dancers. He remarks what a great couple the fire lord and his sister make. Who knew, right? he comments to his new wife.
The comment lodges itself like a pebble in her shoe and she shakes at it, tries to ignore it while she feels its bite.
Toph drowns her response in the last of her drink and lets out a resulting belch. She doesn't wait for Aang's reaction, but grabs his wrist and drags him toward the dance floor.
She detects that by the pounding of his heart, that her student is nervous. Walking up and down, she pauses in front of him, hunches close as though she is actually scrutinizing him and enjoys the corresponding leap in his pulse.
"Is there a problem?" she asks sternly. Her student stammers and mumbles, his trembling as subtle as an earthquake, before he manages to choke out a "no." She dismisses them for the day and smiles to herself when her student rushes a little more than usual.
Iroh chuckles as he sets down a tray of fresh tea.
"You really should be kinder to your students."
Toph settles down on the floor, legs akimbo as she picks up the cup. "Kinder, as in, don't be so intimidating they pee their pants?" she boasts.
Iroh's laughter doubles, a deep, rich sound that comes straight from his belly. "Intimidated? No! That poor boy is in love with you."
"Yeah right, old man," Toph laughs in spite of herself. "And they think I'm the blind one," she teases.
Her parents want to have a birthday celebration. More importantly, they want it to be public, with boys. The very best in fact, hand picked from earth country's finest families.
Toph nearly upsets her dessert when they bring it up. After the earth bending school and Iroh's success in easing her father's views of her activities, Toph had actually come to think her parents had accepted her way of life. She had thought that this wouldn't be an issue.
Her parents are silent as they wait for her response. Her father lets out a small murmur, his acknowledgment of her displeasure.
"Of course, there is always the option of an arranged ma..."
Toph's spoon clinks roughly against the china. "It's fine," she says brusquely, "We'll have a party."
She clenches her fist, rough nails digging into her palm. The handle of the spoon curls like ribbon.
Toph stomps so hard, the floors crack. She tears the pins out of her hair and hurls them away from her. She shakes her head furiously, rubbing her bangs until they cover her face the way she likes it.
"Did I come at bad time?" Aang's voice interrupts. There's a lilt to it, and a smile implied. His footsteps seem to be even less noticeable these days and he pads over to the wall calmly, removing the hair pins embedded in the wall. Toph holds out her hand and he places them carefully in her palm.
"Thanks," she says gruffly.
"Birthday plans not going well?" he chuckles. Toph punches his arm and he recoils with a grunt.
"Why can't my parents just let me be? I have a school, I have a way to live. I don't need them to coddle me like a child." Toph's shoulders sink. She reaches with one hand to pull out the last hairpin. Her long hair falls from its large bun and tumbles over her shoulders. "I thought I had proved to them that I can take care of myself."
Aang chuckles, a tinkling sound that makes her think of bells. "Toph, everyone knows you can take care of yourself. Everywhere I go, all I hear about in earth country is Master Toph this and metal bender that. Maybe you haven't noticed, but you're famous."
Toph's lips curl in a smile before she catches herself. She shakes her head and forces a frown.
"Then why do my parents insist on parading me around like this? My father even threatened an arranged marriage."
"Toph," Aang's voice pleads. He takes a step closer, careful to slide his feet forward to let her know he is there. "Maybe the favor isn't for you. Maybe it's for the people who want to get closer to you, but are too afraid."
Toph cheeks prickle with warmth. She thinks of Iroh's teasing, and her students trembling each time she stands near. "Why would they want to do that?"
The question hangs between them. She can feels Aang's attention like a weight or a pressure; as though the air has solidified and wrapped itself around her.
Aang shifts his weight to his other leg, his body turning to face her. His hand is moving slowly upward, reaching for her and Toph feels her heart skip a beat, the same way it did the first time she experienced Appa taking flight.
"Because there's something else the villagers say when they talk about you."
His fingers brush her hair, his touch the barest flutter against her cheek as he tucks the strands behind her ear.
"That you're beautiful," he breathes.
Iroh is quiet as he closes the door of his shop and sets the bolt. He wanders over to his tea station and tidies up some items before coming to her table with a tray.
"I saved this dessert for a special occasion, but cheering someone up might be the better cause. It goes best with a hot cup of tea," he pauses, stealing her cup away from her. When he returns it, the ceramic cup is warm to the touch.
"What's troubling you?" he asks, pushing a small plate in her direction. The scent of strawberry assaults her nose and she inhales it deeply, poking at it with her fork.
"Do people really say I'm beautiful?" she asks between mouthfuls.
Iroh murmurs, the chair creaking with his shifting weight. "I have heard it mentioned once or twice. You have many fans among the young men," he says playfully.
Toph grimaces and pushes another piece of fruit into her mouth. "But I don't even know what that means. And I can't tell when someone is nervous in front of me because they like me or they're afraid of me."
"Maybe it's a little bit of both," Iroh suggests. "Imagine the dilemma for them. The handsome ones can't rely on their looks to woo you and the benders can't impress you with their mastery. It is difficult to pursue a girl who is both powerful and impervious to their charms."
Toph mashes the strawberries between her molars. "Yeah, well how do you think I feel?" she counters. "My mother asks me if I want pink or green ribbons like I'm supposed to know the difference. They're just words!"
Iroh breathes heavily out of his nostrils. The lid of the tea pot clinks and the weight on the table eases as Iroh lifts the pot to freshen his own cup.
"Beauty is not just in the things that we see. It's in the smell of my favorite cup, the taste of strawberries on your tongue. It is anything that makes you smile and fills your heart with joy."
Toph pauses when she remembers Aangs words and his breath fluttering against her cheek; a sensation not too unlike the feeling in her stomach now.
Iroh is watching her, gauging her silently. She can tell by the way he cradles his tea.
"Like the smell of your feet?" she grins suddenly, thinking of the sandal Zuko once carried.
"Like you're one to talk," Iroh huffs.
The night before her party she hides from everyone. She stretches out on the grass, feet covered in muck and her clothes damp with dew. It is comforting to be covered in the scent of her own sweat and not the painfully sweet perfume her mother insists on bathing her in.
Sitting out here, with her hands behind her head, she's reminded of her travels with the avatar.
Sometimes she misses those days. Even with the threat of the fire lord looming over them, life had been exciting, and they had been together.
But since then things began changing, she began changing, and she's not sure she can project where that leads.
There was a time when they all tried to stay together, be it at Iroh's shop or the palace of the fire lord. But with time their lives moved on. Everything seems scattered, taken by their respective countries and elements while she struggles to keep things the same.
Toph pulls out one hand from under her and sticks her fingers deep into the dirt. She pulls out a wad and rubs it over her bare belly, down to the hem of her shorts. There is something comforting in the loamy texture and the grit it will leave when it dries beneath her fingernails. It is something she can carry and that will never leave her- this solid understanding- and this is what she finds beautiful.
But change is pushing against her; Sokka's marriage, rumors of the fire lord's new intended, and a whispered compliment that even now makes her insides lurch. She plants her feet into the ground and tries to weather the outcome, but it's this last assault that has her slipping toward the unknown.
She's not looking forward to the party, but she feels a warmth when she thinks of Aang. His laughter rings in her ears and she holds it there, dwells on it like a portrait.
Her mouth curves without her meaning it to and Iroh's words come back to her.
Toph groans and curls up on her side.
Katara assures her that she looks beautiful. Toph smiles, remembering another day, in another age when something similar had been spoken. She wraps her arms around Katara and hugs her like a sister, not caring if the flowers in her hair get crushed.
"I think everyone will fall instantly in love with you," Katara teases. Toph's cheeks grow warm at the thought. She has realized she doesn't need everyone, just one.
"What's wrong?" Katara asks, one hand moving to settle on Toph's shoulder. Katara's hands are smooth, warm as a healers and yet it's not as comforting as Aang's.
"I think," she begins and pauses. Her chest rises with a deep breath. "I think I like someone. . . but I'm not sure he will like me back."
"Toph, that's great news!" Katara exclaims. She can practically hear the smile. "I'm sure whoever it is will feel lucky to have your affections."
"It's Aang," Toph blurts before Katara can say anymore. "And for as long as I've known him, he's been in love with you." Toph feels so annoyed she has to fight not to bend something; like she is in the center of an arena, frustrated by an opponent who is winning without even trying.
Katara's skirts rustle. She swallows up her first response in a careful breath before releasing it in a measured sigh. "I think," Katara begins carefully. "I think you're overestimating me." Her hand leaves Toph's shoulder, her fingers picking at the flowers in her hair.
"The truth is, when it came to Aang, I always had my doubts. I was the first girl he really knew. He was young, and I was there and a lot happened that threw things out of perspective."
Toph huffs, and turns her head sharply. Katara's fingers snag in her hair and a tendril falls loose. Katara is patience as she smooths out the flower and tucks the stray locks back into place.
"To be honest, I never got the sense that I was good for Aang. It was always a struggle to get him to face things. I always felt like I was on eggshells when he was in a bad mood. But you, you never let him run away. Don't let this be different." Katara presses a kiss to Toph's forehead. "I'll be cheering for you."
She manages to dispatch half her suitors in the first hour. All it takes is nibbling on a flower, swallowing the salad dressing which she pretends to mistake for a punch and a few other mishaps that remind them suitably of her blindness. Most of them react with polite embarrassment and quickly excuse themselves. But it is this suitor in particular that she knows will be difficult to shake.
She recognizes her student by the trembling. He stutters less than usual, clears his throat and manages to speak a whole sentence without stumbling. It is never more clear to her now that he is from the esteemed Ryu family. She knew of his heritage the first day he stepped into her school and until now, she had been content to ignore it.
But it's different when they are in her parent's home and he is introducing his eldest brother; the heir to the family fortune. Her mother is overeager to make his acquaintance in that understated way of hers and his father invites him to sit by them; a sign that he too is keen on this prospect.
Toph lifts her fan to hide the fact that she's not smiling when she giggles. They move to the banquet hall together and the Ryu brothers are seated right across from her.
Even with shoes on, she can tell that the seat she wants to be sitting in is at the opposite end of the table. There the avatar is amusing her father's most esteemed guests, or the most esteemed guests without sons, that is.
Instead, Toph is stuck smiling and trying to pick at her food despite being hungry enough to devour an entire hippomoose.
Her parents are discussing her pupil's progress and Toph offers up only kind words and not her opinions, wary of the fact that she has never heard her father this polite before. The talk moves to the Ryu family bank and Toph tunes out entirely, her attention on Aang's laugh which is audible above the din of plates and glasses clinking. Katara is on that side too and Toph imagines them together, despite her friend's encouragement just a few hours before.
"Don't you think, Toph?" her mother says.
Toph realizes she hasn't been paying attention. She scrambles for a response to the unknown question when her hand reaches out for a plate.
"Is that roast turtle duck I smell?" She stuffs an appetizer into her mouth only to discover it is pickled skunk fish. Toph fights her gag reflex and swallows the mouthful whole. "Mmm," she says.
"Have some," Toph encourages them, sending a kick in her student's direction. He takes the bait and grabs some of the same.
"Try it brother," he says and she can hear the pain in his voice as he does it. "It's master Toph's favorite."
"But what do you say, Toph?" her father continues. "Young master Ryu is an advanced earthbender. Wouldn't you like to teach him a few metal bending tricks?"
Toph smiles vanishes.
"Actually, I would mind," she says mirthlessly.
"Toph!" her father exclaims. "Forgive her," her father begins apologizing.
"Pardon me," The older brother interrupts. "I've overstepped my bounds. I simply thought that since you were helping my brother progress so smoothly..."
"That I could turn you into a master?" Toph cuts him off. "Metal bending isn't a joke and I'm not an easy teacher. Only a seasoned master stands a chance of understanding it."
"I am a devoted student and money is no..."
"Look, I know you're not used to female earthbenders or rejection, so let me make this really easy for you. If you want to play courtier, I'll be polite and follow the rules, but when it comes to bending, I am the master and neither your rank nor money are going to convince me to teach someone who can't handle it."
When she pauses, the first thing she notices is the silence. The plates have stopped clinking and the metal slide of chopsticks has ceased. Toph can practically hear her father fuming with anger beside her. And aside from her student's poor efforts to hide his chuckling, she knows that news of what she has done here tonight will blanket the city by morning.
Toph places her hands against the tablecloth and rises to her feet smoothly.
"If you'll excuse me," she says. She feels the weight of a hundred hushed tongues and hundreds of eyes upon her.
Out in the garden the noise from the great hall is a distant buzz. She kicks off her fine slippers and digs her toes into the grass, relishing the squish of mud below the individual blades.
This was not going the way she expected. She imagines her father doling out apologies inside the banquet hall and young master Ryu sitting like a peacock with ruffled feathers. She will need to go back and make herself apologize if she is to escape an arranged marriage.
Toph closes her eyes and focuses her energy. She fortifies herself with a deep breath, preparing herself to go back in there and face her parents. In this state, she is able to detect a small ripple by the bridge; a vibration caused by the slightest pressure against the stone.
"You don't have to hide, you know," Toph says.
It is Aang's footsteps that emerge. She is certain of it.
"I thought you might be with someone. I wanted to be make sure... that I didn't interrupt."
"So you thought you would spy on me?" Toph sputters.
"That wasn't my intention," Aang says, embarrassed. "But I wanted to see you, to talk to you."
Toph opens her mouth and pauses. "Oh."
Silence settles between them. Toph is keenly aware of Aang's mood, of the utter calm that is the opposite of what she is feeling.
"I guess you saw that in there," she prompts him. She feels anxious as she says it and nervous in a way she never did in a battle.
"Yes, but that isn't what I came to talk about." She can tell Aang is facing her, she can tell by the way his bare toes are pointed directly at her. "Katara doesn't know this yet, but Zuko is planning to ask her to marry him. He told me and asked for my permission."
Toph feels her spirits sink even lower. She is aware of the rocks by the pond and wishes she could be one of them.
"Good for them," Toph dead pans.
"It made me realize that I haven't been very clear about my feelings lately. Zuko knows I love Katara, and that she will always be special to me in some way. But what he didn't know is that I'm no longer in love with her. I told him nothing would make me happier than to see two of my dearest friends joined together and that I would be honored to serve as his best man."
Toph's stomach performs an acrobatic feat. She can only imagine the way it is turning flips inside of her and hopes it isn't the skunkfish. "Why are you telling me this?" she asks, trying not to hope for too much in his answer.
Aang exhales slowly. She's aware of the sudden leap in his pulse, can feel it coursing through him like the water pushing swiftly down the stream. Her body seems to respond and her heart is pounding just as fiercely, two drums off sync.
"Because long ago I had a vision. I think about it sometimes when I have to do something difficult or face a challenge I would rather ignore. Even though I hadn't met you yet, it was you I saw in the marsh, not Katara. And it's you who pushes me to be stronger, a better avatar. I can't help thinking, maybe it's a sign. Maybe you're meant to be more than my teacher. And I needed to tell you. . . before I lose my chance."
Toph's arms relax. She shifts her hand to rub against her shoulder even though she's not cold. "Is this your wishy washy notion of a confession?" she asks. She can't help the stupid grin that punctuates her question.
"It's not a joke," Aang says testily.
"I'm not laughing!" Toph replies. "I'm wondering why you didn't just tell me in the first place."
Aang laughs nervously, a familiar sound that even now fills her with warmth. "Personally, I was afraid it would result in some broken bones. But honestly? I know how much you value your independence, and how uncomfortable you are with the idea of conforming to your parents' expectations. I wasn't sure my feelings would be welcome."
Toph laughs so hard she holds her belly to make it stop hurting. She feels giddy and breathless and can hardly speak as she beckons him forward. "Come here," she says and Aang approaches her carefully. He lets out a small yelp when she grabs the front of his robe and tugs him forward.
She presses her lips against him, only to pause and feel her cheeks flare with heat. "That was your nose, wasn't it," she says sheepishly. Aang's laughter bubbles between them.
"It's okay," he says, a rough palm cupping her cheek and the warmth of his mouth descending onto her own.