So this is my celebration on getting caught up on replying to people up to today! Yay! I've finally dug myself out of the never-ending list of emails that hasn't been caught up since January... So in celebration, have an angsty fic. ;)
"Pip?" Merry's soft voice was concerned. It was the last night before the Hosts of the West would ride for Mordor…and his young cousin was staring into the East with blind eyes.
"Are you all right?" Pippin turned.
"I'm alright, Merry," he said in a soft voice.
"You don't look alright," Merry responded. "No one would think less of you if you stayed here tomorrow, you know. You've already done deeds to put you in renown." Pippin shook his head vehemently.
"I'm going, Merry," he said in a much stronger voice. "I want to do what I can…for Frodo." He turned his face to the East again. His voice went soft again.
"I just keep…I keep thinking about the Palantír," he admitted.
"Oh, Pip…" Merry murmured.
"He's mad, Merry," Pippin said in a distant voice.
"Well, since we keep messing up his plans, I'd assume so," Merry responded, trying to pitch his voice lightly. But Pippin stayed serious.
"Not angry. Insane," he said in an almost monotone. "Oh, he's still intelligent…so intelligent. But he's insane—because of the Ring. It's consumed him, Merry. It's always thrumming in his thoughts. I could feel that. And I…I'm just so frightened. That it will do the same…the same to Frodo." Merry couldn't say anything, his throat was too tight. So he simply wrapped his arms around his cousin, hoping his presence would help.
"I can't help but think that if we ever see him again…he won't be him. That it will be a reflection of what I saw in that Palantír…"
"Oh, Pippin," Merry whispered, his tears spilling. "No. That will not be. I do not know if we will ever see Frodo again…" Oh, how it hurt to admit that. "But he will not come to that. You know him too well." Pippin nodded.
"Frodo never would," he said. "But there are things stronger than him. Remember what Lord Elrond said if he became a wraith? That he would no longer be our cousin?"
Merry did remember, all too well. How Elrond had warned them what might have to be, rather than to let Frodo become a slave to the Dark Lord.
"Then, Pippin, we will do whatever it takes to get our Frodo back," he said, his voice deceptively calm. "Whatever it takes. I promise." Pippin's tears finally overflowed, but hope sparkled again in those green depths, and Merry found strength in that.
But he did not know then, that someday that promise would ring mockingly in his ears, as his beloved cousin Sailed, and it proved that the only way to get their Frodo back…was to let him go.
Well, this is the last thing I have written...so review, and I'll try to write new stuff, m'kay?