Criminal Minds?Where is Harry Potter, you say? It's just a one-shot!
Well, here's a new love of mine, JJ and Reid. I'm watching CM online and I just got to the episode where JJ announces her pregnancy. Needless to say,I wasn't partcularly fond of the idea. Or that Will guy.
"I'm…pregnant"
He heard the words but they took a minute for his advanced mind to comprehend. He could remember that 21st of March 2001 was a Tuesday in seconds, it takes him 10 minutes to read a 300 page book, he could profile murderers just by looking at their handwriting, but those simple words took him a while to process.
Pregnant. JJ was pregnant.
He saw Emily hugging her to congratulate her, and then she turned to him. She looked at him and smiled a shy, awkward smile that made his heart skip a beat.
No,he told himself. It's over now. She's having a baby with Will.
He wrapped his arms around her gently, to cover his real feelings. She was a little hesitant at first, tense.
He heard himself mutter "Gongratulations". She patted him on the back gently and she quickly turned to Hotch.
Her body language clearly stated that her feelings toward him where nothing but brotherly. The dissappointment that rushed through him didn't compare to anything he had felt before. It was the most powerful feeling he had felt to this day, and God knows he had seen the some of the worst things the human mind could possibly imagine.
He saw Emily leave and he followed her out the room. Apparently Will and JJ needed a minute alone.
Will and JJ. Together. A couple. With a baby.
He saw a door and quickly got in. Luckily, it was a an empty bathroom. He didn't even stop to think about the possibility of it being a room full of people. He put his hands on sink to support him and lowered his head. He wanted to dissappear, he wanted to be wiped off the face of this earth.
He was scared at the power of his feelings. He never let himself get out of line before. Logic always guided him through life, he always based his actions on facts and percentages.
But it was different now. It had been different for years. It all changed the first time he saw JJ.
The very first time he laid eyes on her, he experienced the strangest thing he had ever felt. It was like everyone else had suddenly turned blurry, like everyone had lost interest to him, like the whole world had gone gray apart from her. She was there, glowing, smiling, introducing herself. When her eyes flew past him for the first time in that office, he felt his cheeks burn. Never before had he "blushed",wasn't that the term?
At first he couldn't understand what had happened to him. He had been worried and almost went to see a doctor, before he realized his symptoms weren't actually symptoms. He noticed those things only happened when she was around. In addition ,he frequently lost his balance because he was too busy listening to her to watch his step, he often found himself mumbling instead of speaking properly, he felt his all of his thoughts fly away every time she looked at him and his eyes always looked for her in every room he entered.
Over the years, he had managed to make less of a fool of himself, but those feelings never went away. He had learnt how to control himself, to pay attention to other people even when she was in the room,and not lose his calm everytime she talked to him.
He knew his love for her was one-sided. He always knew she could never feel the same way, and her behavior both proved him right and hurt him a little deeper every day. How could she possibly feel the slightest affection for him? She was beautiful, intelligent, quick in reply, relaxed, wonderful. Perfect.
What was he? He was awkward, retained, closed to himself, he would lose his sense of direction everytime something wouldn't go according to plan, he appeared arrogant and annoying most of the time…he was nothing compared to her.
He tried to remind that to himself. Every time he thought her eyes stayed on him longer than necessary, everytime she smiled at him, every time she hugged him or touched his arm. Every day for the past three years he had tried to remind himself that she was too good for him.
But facts and logic can't stop a heart in love from hoping.
He felt his cheeks wet and looked up in surprise. He saw his face in the mirror; tears were streaming down his cheeks.
He stayed like that for a second, looking at his reflection. He was unsettled, his hair was messier than ever as he had run his fingers through them countless time that day. Bombers,he recalled. We're here on a case.
But, selfish as that sounded, he didn't care about the case. He didn't care about the un-sub, he didn't care about the facts, their theories, the evidence,his notes. He didn't care about anything.
He only cared about her.
Even now, he couldn't stop the rush of feelings at the thought of her face.
I'm going to have to.
He wiped the tears and threw some water on his face to regain control of himself. He looked normal on the outside again, but inside him there was still an enormous mess. His thoughts were scattered, his memory started and stopped at her:
"Hello, Spence. Jennifer Jareau. Call me JJ." A bright smile and a gentle handshake.
"I'm…pregnant." A look around as she waited for the response. Hugs and gongratulations. Some sincere and some forced.
His sense of logic briefly appeared for a second.
You had your chance. It's over now. Friends is the most you can hope for.
He ran his fingers through his hair one more time and took a deep breath.
He slowly opened the door and walked out, his heart barely beating and his mind filled with fantasies of futures that will never come.
Kinda heavy for Reid I think,but I really wanted those two together. Why do the couples I like never work out?
Please let me know what you think :)