Molly Hooper's sense of guilt had become too much. Too overwhelming for her to handle alone. She had decided to tell him, to tell the truth. She only had to find the courage.
Special Thanks to ShaLon for beta reading and adding more life to it ;)
Around every corner, the wind was howling like a wounded wolf; it was a hostile and cold autumn night. She was freezing to death, maybe she should have put on more clothing, but her decision had been so abrupt she didn't care what she was wearing. She needed to go there and tell him. Her hands were shaking like crazy as she finally arrived there, at John Watson's new apartment. She found the courage within herself and rang the doorbell.
She waited eagerly for him to open the door, also eager to get into a warm place after walking such a distance in that heartless cold weather. A few minutes passed, and she had now rung for about five times before finally John opened the door: sad, hollow eyes looked at her with a little hint of surprise spreading over that cold mask of bitterness he was so desperately trying to keep on. "Oh, hi, Molly", he uttered flatly.
Nervously, the girl looked around. "Can I…come in? I know you might want to be alone after…well, sorry… you know, I'm…". The pathologist expected him to interrupt her and politely tell her to go away, but he just stood there patiently, looking like he really needed someone to talk to, a little comfort. She started doubting she was the right person for this, but no matter what, she couldn't give up now, she had come there to tell her friend something of extreme importance. "…Sorry. Can I just come in?"
John's facial expression seemed to soften up a bit. "Sure, come in."
That surprised her. "Oh, if you really want me to go…what? I mean…okay." Molly entered a rather small flat, everything felt so melancholic and cold. It was nothing like 221B Baker Street, not messy at all, John's stuff was strictly sorted and everything in its place. "How are you?" John just stared blankly at her. "Sorry…bad question."
After a few seconds, a spark of life shone into John's eyes as he shook his head. "No, no, it's uh…fine. Do you want some tea? You look frozen." John offered Molly a seat which she gladly accepted.
"Tea would be nice, thanks." She didn't know why, but for some reason her heart was pounding like crazy, and she was getting more and more nervous by the second. Molly knew she was going to betray him when she would have told John the truth about the fall. She felt so much guilt rising up in her chest by seeing the ex-soldier feeling so down and heartbroken, she just had to tell him everything she knew, or at least try to say he was still alive...somehow… "You…I came here…you might be wondering why I'm here today. John, I wanted to tell you something…", she blurted out while the man was busy with the kettle.
"Yes? What do you want to tell me?" He asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
The brunette bit her lower lip, a sense of uneasiness making its way through her already shivering limbs. That was not going to be easy for her. "Oh, uhm… I heard you have a new Job. I just wanted to congratulate you… and ask how it is."
"It's okay", he said as he laid the two teacups on the table and sat in the chair across Molly's. "I first thought to try and ask at Bart's, but…you know, too many memories."
"I know what you mean." Molly lowered her head pitifully. "I'm so sorry for you..."
Emotionless, John took a short sip of his tea and began to wonder. "Molly? You… really liked Sherlock, right?" The woman keenly nodded. "I was just thinking. You seem so… okay. I don't know how I should say that, and forgive me for doing so, but you look like you don't mind… his death... all that much."
Bingo. Again, Molly bit into her lower lip. "Well, that's the real reason why I'm here. I…I...know som… something. But I, uh…you, uh…"
"Molly, calm down", he gently stopped her from her rambling and, surprisingly, his lips bent up in what looked like a smile. A weak smile, but nonetheless still a smile. "Take a few deep breaths and tell me, once you've calmed down a bit."
She did as suggested and tried to regain her composure, not an easy task since her heart still pounded crazily. After a few more breaths she finally opened her mouth again. "You stated you believe in Sherlock, no matter what the others say, right?" John winced over that name, but Molly was persistent. "I know it's hard for you to talk about him, but what if…he's still alive? What would you say if I told you there is a possibility Sherlock's still alive? Do you still believe in miracles, John?"
"I wouldn't believe you," he answered rather harshly, his eyes shut.
At that statement, Molly's heart skipped a beat. It hurt to see him like that. It hurt so much to hear him talk like that. Suddenly, she felt guilty and powerless.
"I… see. I'm sorry, then… You know, if you need someone to talk to, you can always have me." The woman could have slapped herself by saying that again. "I mean…you know…"
This time John was giggling softly, it seemed like her goofiness helped him cheer up a bit, after all. "Thanks, Molly. I will keep that in mind, but I think you should go now."
The brunette seemed disappointed by the sudden request to leave him alone, but she knew that would happen, she had to accept it, and so she did.
"I'm sorry, Sherlock", she said to herself while heading back into her four walls. "But at least, I tried."
Shortly before Molly arrived at home, her mobile phone emitted the received message sound. Wondering who could have texted her, she checked the screen, and a warm smile slowly spread across her lips as she was reading. The first warm thing in that cold autumn night. "I'm grateful that you visited me today. I'd appreciate it if you would visit me more often, from now on. -JW"
Molly gave a gentle squeeze at the phone in her hand, and held it close to her heart, smiling even brighter. "I will do everything I can to help you… John", she whispered to herself as she closed the door behind her.