Author's Note: I own Buffy Summers.
This is my first Buffy fanfic, I usually stay in Harry Potter or Supernatural. This fic was a completely organic thought, and I didn't realize that parts of my plot are very common in other fics, but who cares? Mine will beat them all. Thanks in advance for reading!
Also, some details are AU, such as Dawn's feelings towards Spike season five to the beginning of season six, which will be explained in more depth in later chapters.
Where do we go from here? How can we pick up the pieces of a normal life that is not what it seems? How do we keep on fighting without a leader, with no direction? Is it even possible? Why did she leave? Can we survive this summer? Can we go on without Buffy?
Creaking floorboards signaled to Dawn that Willow had finally awoken, and was coming to wake her up. She sighed and turned over. Another night of nightmares. She was sick of being tortured by these hallucinations, these sweet releases in which she saved Buffy only to wake to reality. She couldn't save Buffy. Buffy is dead. And she has to learn to deal with it.
A tentative knock echoed on her bedroom door.
"Dawnie?" Willow poked her head in the door where Dawn must have looked like she was still sleeping. "Dawnie, aren't you going to get ready for school?"
Dawn rolled off the bed and began to get ready for another numb six and a half hours. Willow sighed and withdrew her head, and Dawn could hear her padding down the stairs. She knew none of Buffy's friends liked to stay in the same room with her for very long, just because a resemblance factor. It was the same with the Buffybot, but at least with her, you could forget that she used to only be programmed for sex, and let yourself drift off in the fantasy that Buffy was still alive, that their family was still intact. The daydream didn't last for very long though, the robot would never be able to replace her sister, as Spike was ready to believe.
Not even noticing what she was pulling over her head, she looked down at her shirt.
Buffy's UC Sunnydale shirt. Awesome start to the day.
"Dawn? Do you want circles or funny shapes?" Tara's voice drifted up the stairs.
Grabbing her backpack, Dawn headed downstairs. "Circles are fine," Dawn said without looking up as she settled in at the breakfast table.
The Buffybot walked into the kitchen at that time as well. "Dawn! I made your lunch for you! It's your favorite, peanut butter and bananas!" The robot smiled at Dawn as she handed her a brown bag.
Ok, maybe it was really hard to forget that she wasn't Buffy.
"So, Dawnie, you know what you're doing?" Willow grabbed a plate of pancakes from Tara and sat down on the stool across the table from Dawn's chair. "Xander will be over in a few minutes to drive you to school, and then when it lets out, you'll come-"
"I understand Wil. I do this everyday. It's not hard to forget." Dawn started shoveling pancakes into her mouth, hoping to leave the awkward situation as soon as possible. Xander, who entered the house with an exuberant, "Where's my Dawnster? Ready for school, bud?" cut her plan short. He raised a hand to the others. "Wil, Tara, reformed sex-bot. How are my three favorite ladies today?"
"Are we going?" Dawn cut him off, looking up at him pleadingly.
"Sure, jump in the car. I'll be right out."
Dawn left. She knew that she had to leave first because Xander had to see how she was today. God forbid you ask her if she's in the room. She knew they were planning something with her, but no one was telling her anything.
Right on cue, Xander exited the house with a fake, toothy grin plastered on his face, believing that some of his "happiness" might rub off on her.
"You ready for another knowledge-filled day of fun, Dawnie?" Xander laughed and Dawn felt sick. No one would let himself or herself feel anything in the wake of Buffy's death, and it made her feel even more alone than if everyone was depressed.
"Yeah, sure. Fun."
"Oh come on, Dawn you're cooped up in that room. Get out. Interact again."
"Fine. I'll go interact."
B****T****V****S
Dawn could hear Janice walking up to her locker before she could see her. She had found this new habit of wearing noisy jewelry, and you could hear them hitting one another from halfway down the hall.
"Hey Dawn. You want to come over tonight? Me, you, a big bucket of popcorn, and The Exorcist? Sounds like fun, huh?"
"Sorry, I can't. I have to-I'm grounded."
"Again!? It seems like every time I want to hang out, you're grounded, or visiting your aunt in Los Angeles, or baking cookies with your sister." Janice tried to pull a hurt face, but it just made her look really stupid.
"I just have a busy schedule."
"Oh come on Dawn, for the last few weeks, you've been a complete mope-fest. What happened?" Dawn know she was asking her more for gossip's sake than any friendly bond of loyalty, and she wasn't about to be sucked in.
"Nothing's wrong. I guess I just have more of a life." Dawn turned and walked quickly into Mr. Burrow's room, to try to crank out Pre-Calculus without actually knowing how to do any of it.
B****T****V****S
That afternoon, Dawn scanned the line of cars in front of the school, checking if she had a ride before she started walking home. There was no sight of Xander's broken-down car, so she turned and got ready for the mile walk she did every other day. Dawn popped the buds of her Walk-man into her ears and blasted heavy rock, loud enough that she wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts. The streets passed quickly by, and soon she got to the cemetery shortcut.
This was her least favorite part. Cutting through the cemetery shed another half of a mile off her walk, but I would come in direct vicinity with Spike's crypt. I shaded my eyes and glanced up at the sun. Shoot, it was low enough that the cemetery wouldn't be in direct sunlight and a confrontation with Spike was not only probable, it was completely probable.
Walking as fast as she could without running, Dawn made her way through the cemetery, hopping over gravestones and sneaking through to get to the other side as quickly as possible.
"You seem to be going through an awful lot of trouble to avoid notice, nibblet," a drawling, English accent whispered from the shaded trees behind him.
Dawn inwardly groaned. Today just wasn't her day. Well, no day was ever her day. But she just didn't have the strength to deal with the vampire who almost stalked her as if she was Buffy incarnate.
"What, Spike? What do you want now? Just because you have that chip, not come looking for sympathy from me. I still hate you, remember?" Dawn tried to drip malice from her words, but they just came out tired.
"Somehow, I tend to doubt that, nibblet. Why else would you come gallivanting through my cemetery every afternoon?" Spike sauntered out to the edge of the shade, taunting her playfully. Dawn was not in the mood for his games.
"I'm just trying to get home. I'm tired and I just can't deal with you right now, so please, just stay away from me. Maybe everyone else has, but I haven't forgotten that you're evil." Her words stunned Spike, coming from a human so small and fragile.
"Wait! Little Bit!" He hurried through the shaded grove to catch Dawn by the arm.
"Stay away from me!" Dawn shoved Spike away from her, sending him catapulting into the sunlight, where he started to smoke before tumbling back under the cover of a tree. He looked up at Dawn standing over him.
"You are nothing to me! You're like a vampire that's been neutered, you don't belong in either worlds, and you certainly don't belong with me!" Dawn's constitution began to break down, and tears started flowing down her cheeks. "Why don't you get over Buffy and stop following me, because I am not going to turn into her!" Dawn took in a few gasping breaths to try to stop the crying.
Spike stood up and reached out to her, trying to comfort her. Dawn batted him away before turning away to compose herself. She turned back, her eyes red, and her face blotchy.
"You're beneath me," she said triumphantly, trying to get him angry so he'd leave her alone for good.
Spike just smiled a sad half-smile that didn't reach his eyes. He pulled Dawn in close to him, and struggled at first, but he tried to give Dawn her own form of comfort by stroking her hair. Dawn was come over by nostalgia; Buffy would do this so many times, just hold her, and stroke her hair, and Dawn's dam burst within her, she began to sob, ruining Spike's shirt in the process. She forgot it was Spike holding her; in her mind, she was with Buffy and their mother. No one was dead, and they were together. Dawn's hands came up and grabbed Spike's jacket, trying to bring her back to reality.
Spike didn't know how long they stood there for, he wasn't one to get tired, but it was least an hour, because the sun was low in the sky when Spike began to feel Dawn sagging against him. He pulled her away and shook his head. Here was the only girl who wasn't a horse that could fall asleep standing up. Supporting her back, Spike leaned down and picked up her legs, cradling Dawn in his arms.
"It's always up to Spike to bring them home afterwards," he muttered to himself. In her sleep, Dawn recognized the sense of warmth and tried to burrow in closer to Spike. "Oh, brilliant, love, when you're asleep is the only time you want to get close to me."
Taking the backstreets, Spike managed to avoid any notice of a dangerous-looking man carrying a passed out, innocent, albeit beautiful girl into the night. The Summers house looked like beacon in a foggy ocean, every light was on, and three cars were parked outside. It was a rare sight for even one to be out there, now there's three.
"Well, I guess they didn't take Dawn's disappearance lightly," Spike whispered to himself as he mounted the steps and pushed open the door.
"Spike! What are you do-Dawn! Dawn, are you okay?" Willow flew on them like a mother hen protecting her young to the death.
"She's fine, without you all bloody giving her the third degree!" Spike hissed out a loud whisper. "She cut through the cemetery and stopped in because she was tired, and she fell asleep in my crypt. I wanted to let her sleep before I took her home."
"Don't you have a phone? You could have at least called." The annoying ex-demon looked at him.
"Hello? I live in a crypt. No bloody electricity in it. And I wasn't about to leave nibblet alone to tell you. Lots of demons know I live there. You don't know who could have shown up." Spike turned and carried the semi-unconscious Dawn up the stairs into her room.
Once he laid her on top of the bed, she started shivering; it was cool for a summer night. Spike shook off his leather jacket and covered her with it; she was small enough that she fit under it. Leaning down, he stroked a piece of loose hair out of her face. Someone cleared their throat behind him. It was that girl, he hadn't cared enough to learn her name, and she was so quiet it wasn't really a problem.
"I think maybe you should leave."
Tanya! That was her name. Or was it Terra. Whatever.
"What did you say?"
"I said, I t-t-think you should leave. Let Dawn get some rest."
Spike shoved past her, almost ran into Willow on the stairs, and stopped in front of the living room where the remainder of their little gang was sitting.
"Just so you know, that girl is severely unhappy. Maybe if you idiots stopped asking her if she's okay and actually spent some time with her, explaining how you feel, she'll be better. But you lot are a bad influence on her."
Silence was his only response.
"Just so you all know."
A/N: So, did you like it. I know, not a lot happens, but don't worry. More will come. I don't want to rush it like other fics try to do.
If you review, I'll send you your own Spike plushie to inspire you to write more Spike goodness! There's also a plate of cookies as a prize. Take your pick!