Hello and welcome. Today, I'm joined by the Allies. Shall we get started?
Russia: Yes, please.
America: Totally! I mean, I'm getting totally bored here, dude!
Britain: Ugh. Typical Americans. Can't wait for anything. (Sips tea)
Great. Okay, Question 1: Of all the countries, who's your favourite?
America: Jeez, that's a tough one. NOT! America, dude!
Excluding yourselves...
America: Sorry dude, no comprende. America's the only one for me.
France: I would 'av to go with Greece. He did invent zee Olympics after all... (Goes into a dream like state)
Britain: (Shudders) Dear God...
2: And your least favourite?
Britain: That one's easy. Old wine-loving froggy over here wins it for me...
France: (Having snapped out of trance) I'm your favourite? Well, I'm very honoured... Of course, I don't feel the same way about you, but I know where you get it from...
Britain: No, you bloody French bastard! You're my least favourite!
France: Oh, well I disagree. Besides, at least I don't 'av imaginary friends... Honhonhonhonhonhonhon!
Britain: That's it, Frenchy! At least I don't get drunk everyday!
France: What ees life without zee occasional bottle of wine, eh?
America: Dudes! Time out!
Russia: (Smiling happily) I like this interview.
3: Okay, Britain and America are excluded from this one. Who do the rest of you think would win in a fight... Superman or Harry Potter?
Britain: (Mutters) Well, THIS is obvious...
France: Zuperman.
Russia: Probably, Superman.
China: I don't approve of either, but I would have to say Superman also.
Britain: WHAT! Are you all out of your minds? Superman over Harry Potter? He's not even a bloody human!
Russia: In Russia's opinion, that makes it better because he possesses powers that even countries could never dream of. Those powers could be ze key to helping him enslave humanity once and for all...
(Everyone else sits and stares at him in silence. Russia smiling)
4: If you could punch one Country in the face, who would it be?
Britain: Can I have two?
Go ahead.
Britain: In that case, France and America.
America: What? Why would anyone want to punch me in the face? I'm like so totally awesome!
Russia: I voud quite like to punch Poland... again.
Britain: (Nervous laughter) He he... You sure like violence, don't you...?
Russia: Oh, yes. It makes me happy to think that you all might destroy each other and become one big county. That voud be making it easier for me to take over and rule te whole world. (Still smiling.)
America: ...Dude, I love this guy!
Britain, France and China: WHY!
5: Who out of the Axis do you like best?
France: Eh, I will 'av to go wiv Italy.
Britain: (Mutters) Only because you're basically in love with him.
France: What was that?
Britain: Oh, nothing. (Sips tea) If you forced me to answer, I would probably have to say Japan. But I'd like it to be noted that I don't particularly like any of them.
America: Dude, I would totally have to say Japan! He's awesome, and he's like so totally easy to scare!
6: Who's your least favourite from the axis?
America: Hmm, probs that Germany guy. He's like, always so on y' know?
Britain: Indeed. He always has a battle plan and he seems to be quite the fighter...
Russia: I bear no grudge against them. I know that I 'vill soon rule them all.
France: Well, I don't like Germany at all. (Scowls)
Britain: And that stupid Italy always runs to him when he has a problem.
France: 'Ey! Don't insult Italy, you... you...solitaire bâtard!*
Russia: (Closes his eyes and starts to hum)
7: What's your favourite food?
Britain: Well, you can't say no to a good bit of Stew and Yorkshire pudding.
France: Bleugh! 'Zat is not food! Now, Blanquette de veau**... miam miam!***
America: Dudes... Hamburgers are the clear winners here. (Picks up a burger from a huge pile sitting beside him and starts to eat)
Britain: (Looks at him in disgust) Where on earth did you get all them?
America: (Shrugs)
7: Greece- relaxed and dreamy, or annoying and unintelligent?
France: 'Ow can anyone who invented such a great event as zee Olympics be unintelligent?
Britain: Oh for the love of God, can you stop going on about the bloody Olympics? I mean, what kind of a lunatic creates something where everyone prances about in the nude? The man's clearly deranged, wouldn't you agree?
America: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Britain on this one. And when America says something, you know it isn't a lie.
Britain: (Taken aback) Oh. Thank you, America. Oh, for God's sake! WOULD YOU CALM DOWN ON THOSE BURGERS? You'll give yourself heart failure, man!
America: (Picks up his 6th burger) Lighten up, dude: I'm America! Nothing's gonna happen to me, I'm way too cool!
Russia: I suppose it all depends on whether or not you're a cat fanatic...
8: Which do you find more important... happiness or power?
America: Dude...totally power! I mean, come on. That one's a no brainer.
Britain: (Mutters) Just like you then...
France: I would 'av to say... 'appiness over power. All you need eez love, after all. Although, if you had all zee power then you could simply 'av all zee women you could want anyway...
Russia: Da... For Russia, happiness voud be power. I do not wish for any more than that simple request.
Canada: I'd say that happiness is the most important.
Britain: Who the bloody Hell are you?
Canada: ...I'm Canada...
...Well, that's all, folks!
*Bastard Loner.
**A French dish containing veal.
***Yum, yum.
