A/N: Today is Darkest-Hearts birthday! She's the reason I'm a Punk fan. So here's a bit of silliness in her honor. :)
Punk's Birthday
They were singing again. Punk sighed and turned to look at the five superstars who had been following him through the hall since he'd arrived at the arena, serenading him. His eyes narrowed on Jeff Hardy, the one who'd started the whole thing. Someone had let it slip to Jeff that today was Punk's birthday, and since Punk's arrival, Jeff had been following him, singing. It was loud, and off key, and annoying. What made it worse was when Matt joined in, followed by Miz, Morrison and now Jericho. Punk stared glumly at the lot of them and waited them to finish what felt like the millionth repetition of "Happy Birthday." When they were done, they stared at him expectantly. "I hate that song!" Punk growled.
"Oh? Why didn't you say so?" Jeff asked. He grinned unrepentantly at Punk and launched into it again.
"Argh! Don't you know any other songs, Hardy?"
Jeff shook his head, singing all the while, "Happy birthday, dear Punky! Happy birthday to you!" And that, Punk reflected, was the line that was bothering him the most. Punky? WHY did people insist on calling him that? It made him sound like a ten year old girl.
Punk sighed again and started back down the hallway, carolers in tow. "Is it your birthday, Punk?" Eve asked.
"What do you think?" Punk snapped, indicating the singers as he brushed past the diva.
"Happy birthday!" she called after him.
They followed him all the way to the locker room and, Punk noticed with dismay, the group had grown from five to almost twice that. He put his hand on the door, then turned to the singers. "Look, could you guys knock it off? This is beyond annoying now. I just want to have a few hours of quiet before my match, okay?"
"Oh, sure, Punk," Jericho said. He pulled a pouting Jeff away with him.
"But, Chris…" Jeff was saying. "What about the…"
Punk sighed in relief and turned away from the dispersing carolers. He couldn't believe how ridiculous the whole thing was. Why did Jeff Hardy think he wanted to be serenaded? Especially with that same song, over and over… He pushed the door to the locker room open, then jumped back in shock as many of his coworkers shouted, "Surprise!" and blew party horns at him.
"What the…?" Punk managed.
"Jeff told us it was your birthday," Luke Gallows said. "Why didn't you mention it, boss?"
"Because I hate birthdays," Punk muttered, staring at the crowd with dismay as they broke into yet another rendition of- ugh- Happy Birthday. Punk tried to smile, knowing that it was one thing to tick off the Hardy Boyz, but quite another to tick off everyone in the locker room. "Thanks guys, really. But it wasn't necessary."
Jeff popped up behind Punk, who was edging his way out the door. "Were you surprised?"
"Ack! Surprised?" Punk said. "I almost had a heart attack!"
"Oh, good!" Jeff said, clapping his hands.
"Why is me nearly dying a good thing?" Punk asked, turning to Jeff, fists clenched in anger.
"It's not." Jeff blinked at him. "But you never seem to celebrate anything, and since we found out it was your birthday, I thought maybe this once you might enjoy having a special day."
"Jeff," Punk said. This whole thing was making him feel tired. Just dealing with the Charismatic Enigma on a normal day exhausted him, but today… He wanted to crawl into bed and not come out for twenty four hours, and have all of this be a horrible nightmare.
"I'm sorry you didn't like it," Jeff said. "I just thought if we showed you that we like you, maybe you'd stop being so grumpy all the time."
Punk frowned. "I'm not grumpy, am I?"
"All the time," Jeff said again.
With a sigh, Punk looked between Jeff and the crowd waiting in the locker room. He bit his lip, worrying the lip ring for a long moment before he smiled. "What the hell. It's only one day, and you've gone to so much trouble… there's no alcohol in there, right?"
"I only bought sparkling apple juice," Jeff said proudly.
Punk slung an arm around Jeff's shoulders and said, "Then I guess today, we're going to party."
The locker room broke into cheers and applause, and Jeff said, "I guess you don't normally do things like this, huh? Happy birthday, Punk."
Punk grinned at the younger Hardy brother and said, "Thank you. It's just what I needed today."
