Note from author:
Hello everyone. It is good to be back. I was hoping to have this up much sooner but I recently had surgery so it put my schedule behind a bit. I want to personally thank Keri (PiperGrissom) for making a video for this story as well as posting the first chapter of the story on her website. You can see the video and leave Keri a message on youtube as well as visit her site: gsrforeveronlinedotcom
Chapter One:
Too Tough to Die:
He sits holding her hand like he's done so many times and yet today is different.
Today, they called him and he came rushing.
Her blood pressure had dropped prompting the call.
He was in the middle of a crime scene when his beeper went off.
The only time he was ever called to her side was during a crisis.
He dropped his gloves into his kit, grabbing it as he ran.
He whispered briefly to Brass as he hurried to his vehicle, speeding away.
His sudden departure caught the attention of his team, not used to seeing their boss leave before the job was completed.
There were whispers of concern.
A certain brunette's head bobbed up, glancing at Brass, needing to know that Grissom was fine.
His smile indicated that everything was okay.
She returned to work but a nagging voice told her something was not right.
Grissom's life had always been a mystery.
He kept to himself and did not associate with the team after hours except on rare occasions.
His behavior was always odd.
One minute he would be discussing a case and then the next he would disappear without a word, no one knowing his whereabouts.
They learned to shrug it off.
It was Grissom being Grissom.
As he sped to the convalescent center, he wondered if this would be the night.
It didn't feel different.
It felt like any other night.
He thought that when it happened he would sense something or get caught unprepared.
He was prepared to face what was to happen.
He'd been prepared for years.
He had been there so many times he thought he could drive there blindfolded.
He knew how many steps there were from the front entrance to her room.
He knew how many tiles there were on the ceiling where she had remained for the past eight years.
He knew how many machines were attached to her body, particularly the ones that would end her life if unplugged.
The layout of the room never changed.
There were photos of her childhood, her graduation and then their wedding.
He didn't need to see them.
They were engrained on his brain.
Her parents had insisted they be brought, placed around the room along with some of her other things.
The only time he was reminded of his past was this room.
Upon her admittance to the place where she would most likely die, he had walked out of their home taking nothing with him.
He wanted no fight with his in-laws.
They placed her here when the hospital could no longer keep her.
He began the long task of paying for her medical care, insisting on caring for his wife even though her family was financially secure.
He disliked his in-laws the moment he met them but he fell in love with their daughter.
She was a beautiful, smart young lady who had been given everything to her on a silver spoon.
There was little he could deny her when she flashed that smile of hers in his direction.
He told himself he was far too old for her but she had chosen him and Elizabeth Matthews got what she wanted.
After a whirlwind romance, she was planning the wedding, the house they would purchase along with the first of many children.
His life was planned out for him and he could not resist letting her guide him into marriage.
He'd been so wrapped up in his career that he had not taken time to find or love someone much less think of a family.
He was completely captivated by her.
She was vibrant, intelligent and very much able to convince him that she could give him a wonderful life.
He wanted a life.
He wanted all of those things that she offered.
Elizabeth offered him the world and he took it.
He just wished the in-laws were not part of the deal.
It was hard to separate the daughter from the father.
When she wanted anything, she ran to her father who wrote out a check.
It bothered him.
He struggled to provide for her the life she was accustomed to living.
He'd purchased their home on his own despite the pleas from her to allow her father to help.
It was not as grand as she wanted but it had been a very nice home, far above what he should have started out with.
Working long hours helped to keep their head above water financially.
There were words over money.
She did not understand why she could not spend lavishly with her credit cards.
He finally had to remove them from her wallet.
It had been quite a battle but in the end, she had given them up, clinging to him, begging for forgiveness while he soothed her tears.
He worked extra hours, gambled a few times to provide those "extra things" she felt she needed.
He would have done anything for Lizzie.
The long hours took a toll on their marriage.
He was rarely home but he cherished every moment with her, trying to give her the family she desperately wanted.
All of her friends were having babies and she wanted one as well. He'd wanted more than anything to give her this but months passed without success.
He blamed it on the long hours while she withdrew, almost pouting.
He tried to comfort her, trying to spend as much as he could with her but Las Vegas was filled with dead bodies and there were bodies to process.
It was a difficult time in their marriage.
Then, the unexpected happened.
Lizzie became pregnant.
Her smile returned along with the laughter and he thought that things were going to be fine.
Their beautiful dreams were shattered when he was notified of her car accident.
He shook his head as he whispered the same "good night" before kissing her briefly on the forehead.
He had prayed things would be different tonight.
He had hoped above hope that she would be gone this time, ending this long dry spell of loneliness.
So many times he had been here by her side when there had been a change.
The change had never lasted, only brief glimpses of unanswered prayers.
He had prayed so much in the last eight years that surely there was no room left in Heaven.
He had been faithful.
He had been the dutiful husband, clinging to every possibility that she would return to him.
Weeks after her accident and the last CT scan revealed what he suspected.
Scientifically it was impossible for her to improve.
Technically she was gone and he had accepted that.
He had lost her the night she lost control of the vehicle.
He clung to his faith when the life within her struggled to be born.
He'd already lost her.
Surely God would not deny him the life of their child.
Lizzie continued to live while the baby died a few hours after birth.
He wiped the tears from his cheeks.
God help him, he prayed she would let go and end this torture.
He prayed he would get the call that she had passed away.
It never came.
His prayers seemed suspended just like his life.
He was caught between the duty to his wife and the love for a young C.S.I. who had kept him going all these years.
He knew it was cruel to lead the young girl along but he needed her.
She was good for the lab.
She was good for his sanity.
She reminded him there was still beauty in the world, in his life and forever in his heart.
He'd managed to keep all of this from her.
Hardly anyone knew about his past.
Brass had found out when Grissom had to leave a crime scene on the night Lizzie had been rushed to have an emergency C-section.
It was the only thing Brass knew that Catherine didn't.
He preferred it that way.
He opened his book, letting his voice fill the room as he sat there by her side.
He could not remember a time when he did not visit her.
Even when he was bone tired from pulling a double, he did not rest until he visited.
He asked the same questions, looked at the same charts, observed the same lifeless body and wept.
It was getting hard.
He had almost told Sara when she sat in his office, tearful over an encounter with a case.
The victim had been left in a vegetative state.
"The husband doesn't get it," said Sara as she wiped at her tears.
"He's so happy she's going to live. He doesn't realize she's going to be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life….and the kid Thorpe is going to be out of juvie in 48 months….it's not fair."
"It's the system," Grissom reminds her.
"What kind of system rewards the suspect when the victim is too tough to die?"
She stood, tired of being the only person with feelings.
"Sara, you've got to learn to let this go or you're going to spend all of your time in hospitals trying to save the people you can't save."
"I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything."
Grissom gasped at the pain in her voice and the intensity of his own.
He could have told her then.
He almost did.
He went to her apartment intent to tell her but then the hospital had called and he had rushed to Lizzie's side.
She had developed an infection.
He had not left her side during those days her life hung in the balance.
He ignored the jabs by his father in-law.
The words were hurtful but they had a ring of truth in them.
Grissom was hoping she would let go this time.
He even thought to sit by her bed, not holding her hand, hoping the absence of it would indicate to her that she could move on.
He could never bring himself to be so cold, always slipping his hand into hers, whispering that he was there.
He read nonstop to her for hours until the crisis passed.
His father in-law grunted in satisfaction as he gathered his silent wife and left once more.
It was the only time John Matthews came.
His wife, Emma, came every now and then, slipping into the room, to watch Grissom as he sat with his legally dead wife.
She never spoke to him and he was glad.
His battles with her husband were enough.
He thought the old man sent his wife to check on him, to ensure he was still being the dutiful husband to his daughter.
He was even though he felt the life drain out of him each and every time he faced a crisis with her health and she remained.
At least one of them was dying.
Elizabeth Grissom had proven repeatedly she was too tough to die.
Note from author:
Yes, the angst starts off really fast…but the story moves quickly.
Take care,
Penny