Title: Elseworld: One Last Chance
Synopsis: What if the events at the end of OMC were a little different?
Genre: Drama, noir, psychological
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers. I just own plenty of merchandise.
Length: 11,301 words
Page length: Twenty four pages
Beta'd: I edited June 1, 2011
Author's note: I swear, I wanted to leave OMC alone because as far as I was concerned, I was done with that thing at the start of the year but this morning, March 17th, 2010, I had a little voice in my head. It said, 'What if things were a little different?' What would the outcome look like? I also had these scenarios and images that I had to put down. This was a creative challenge and I needed to let it out, like a sneeze. I hope you enjoy it. I won't add this to the end of OMC because that is finished. This is like one of those extras in the DVD with the alternative ending. Make of it what you wish. I just wanted to see a different scenario down on paper.
The bony white hand of the slender man grabbed the black, dusky hair of the dark skinned woman and slammed her face against the hard concrete of the wall. Her face was stinging with the granite scratching and hurting her face. She let out a painful cry as she felt the clown rub her face around the wall.
"Thought you could get away with it, didn't you? You little bitch." Joker hissed into Talia's ear.
"Murderous psychopathic monster!" Talia yelled back. She tried to maneuver her position so she could try and get either a leg or arm and use to her advantage and hurt the hellish jester but she was pressed onto the wall with his weight crushing her. Although he was slender, he was still male as he was taller and had more strength. Right now, her extensive training in several martial arts was no match for the clown pressing himself onto her. She could feel his groin against her thigh which made her wince.
"Yawn. Tell me something I do not know…" Joker said sarcastically as he tried to give the exotic looking woman beneath him an Indian burn. As Joker rubbed her forearm, Talia was able to snake out her other arm but it was difficult to get it out from under her and the wall. Just a couple of inches, she thought.
"Tell me something, Miss al Ghul, what do you have that the Bat finds so attractive? As far as I can see, you are a spoiled rich daddy's girl with attachment issues. How old are you, really? Thirty five, forty? I would guess that much, judging by the crow's feet. Don't you think it's time to cut the umbilical cord? Does daddy set a curfew for you? Oh, I can just imagine it, 'Dear daughter, bring me back the Bat. Should you fail then I will refuse you any playtime with your friends, the league of assassins." Joker giggled.
"You are right, Joker. I do have connections with the most lethal and trained killing force my father has bred. But what you did not know is that we do not always rely on sophisticated methods to trick our enemies."
At that point, Talia was able to free her right arm and in a split second, she aimed her index and middle fingers into the clown's eyes, momentarily blinding him. The pain was so acute that the jester let go to compose his vision. This allowed Talia the advantage to administer her brand of combat as she returned the favor by aiming a kick to the clown's jaw, making his head force back several times as she kicked. She also added several violent jabs to his face and sensitive parts such as the stomach and arms in an attempt to weaken him.
"Sometimes we rely on methods that a seven year old can use in the streets." Talia said finally as she looked over the Joker who was on the floor, bruised and bloody from the daughter of the Demon's blows. Although she was not donning her traditional combat gear, even in loose fitting tan clothes, she exuded the zeal and confidence of a jungle cat. She was like a viper, ready to strike. She had the upper hand, for now.
"Unlike you, Joker, I am a skilled fighter. You are only a brawler. Your timing is flawed, and your fighting methods are messy and poor. Your coordination could also use a little sprucing up. For someone who proclaims himself as king of the clowns, you do lack the sophistication in the combative arts." Talia said coolly.
The words tugged at the clown's mind. She was undermining his significance. She was taunting him, trying to make him feel small. She was going to pay, and she was going to do so by having her beating heart in his hand. Joker coughed. Red and brown spilled out the contents of his spasm on the floor. Joker's arms jittered. He felt her foot press down on his calf muscle. A sharp pain went up his spine.
"They call this the death coil. A bit more pressure and I can break your back only by stepping on you. This is kind of, like how you say it, the phantom limb. I severely damaged your tendons and no doubt affected some of your nervous system with my hands. Don't think I won't hesitate to do it." Talia said warningly. A shot went up Joker's spine and he winced as he felt her foot add pressure to his leg. She was almost freezing his coordination. She let go, slowly.
"You don't think I can't do it?" Talia said angrily.
"I think you don't have the guts. Joker coughed and once again, spilled out blood and bits of bile as he did so, "You won't do it because like always …you want to please daddy and get on Batman's good side. You are like the little girl that can't decide if she wants the blue or teal dress for her prom." Joker giggled. Talia sneered at him. "You simply don't have the guts, my dear. You are just a little girl with identity issues." Talia added pressure to his calf and once again, he felt the sharp pain across his lower back. She let go. It was like electroshock therapy, almost. The only thing was that Talia had no idea how to administer the lethal doses of electricity. She used her hands more than her brain. Right now, she was acting out of anger and she was toying with his leg. What she did not know was that electroshock therapy had only made the clown immune to the pain after some experiments. He was trying to get her closer, make her angrier so that she would lose concentration and then he could move in for the kill. Right now, the pains felt more like annoying tickles than acute pinches. "You want the bad boy in black but you cannot live without daddy's riches and Lazarus Pit!" Joker spat back.
"How dare you insult my father? It was because of his pit, you came back to life when Batman should not have meddled. It is because of him, your heart is beating now, but I shall remedy that." The daughter of the Demon screeched.
"Sweetheart, your daddy is nothing more than a dried up old mummy who uses chemicals to keep himself healthy. I can buy some Oil of Olay anti-aging cream on QVC and still get the same results!" The clown hissed.
On that note, Joker with his throbbing leg which was still in pain, aimed and made Talia trip. He winced as he added pressure to his leg muscles but smiled when he made the daughter of the most powerful man get down on her knees. Joker got up and stepped on her neck. She heard some cracks as he did so.
It was not until she looked up at the corner of her eye that she noticed two black portholes that greeted her large coffee colored eyes. The sound of the click suspended her.
"Don't even think about it." Joker warned her. "If you move so much as an inch, I will pull the trigger and aim this between your eyes and destroy that pretty face." His mannerisms and low voice made the princess tremble internally. Now, she was powerless. She had a dagger but that was not the same as a gun which could cause more damage in just a split second. With her dagger, she could stab him but that was not the same. You could stab someone in the leg or arms and they could still chase you down. A gun could do so much more damage. It could destroy whole muscle, bone and tissue with one pull. A dagger stab could leave a wound and you needed coordination, timing and a good eye with that. A gun did not have the same care and consideration. One shot and it would slow down the victim and she did not have much of a chance with those two holes aimed at her head. One second and it would be over.
"And just to demonstrate that I am serious and unlike you, here is a free sample." Joker said darkly as he aimed at the sky and a sharp boom of fire erupted from the porthole. A desert fox fell through and landed to their side, blooding seeping out of its sides. Without even missing a beat, he killed.
"Any last words, princess, before I turn your pretty face into street pizza?" Joker said mockingly. He squeezed her cheeks between his bony fingers while pressing the hot opening against her face.
"If you kill me, then the Batman has no reason to take you seriously any more. You are no different than the monsters he seeks to obliterate!" Talia shot back.
"Really, how do you know that?" Joker said sourly. "Did you know that I kept him company these past few weeks? Did you know that we bonded over TBS and popcorn?" Joker smiled. He took pleasure in watching Talia squirm.
"Lies! The Bat would never surrender himself nor shut himself away with a monster like you!" She grunted. "You are just a beast! A pale faced demon!" Talia screamed. Joker added more pressure to her neck, making her lose consciousness on her back. He was doing the same actions to her as she had been doing to him moments earlier.
"I don't see a crystal ball here. Tell me, how do you know this?" Joker said in a snide fashion. He leaned over her, almost sitting on her. His gun was still on her face and his hand replaced his foot on her neck. The pressure was enough to keep her upper body locked, but not her legs.
"Look at you! You are a monster! You do not know him like I do!" Talia yelled back. Joker nodded his face,
"I believe you are wrong there, sweetcakes. I do believe that I know the man underneath the mask." Joker said cryptically.
"It does not matter! You do not know him, intimately, like I do! He would never cavort with trash like you!" The daughter of the Demon screamed. Once again, the clown sighed.
"You do not have a clue, do you? Sweetheart, I am closer to the Batman than you would feel comfortable with assuming…."
"What you mean? You are a liar! Your whole repertoire is based on lies! You are pathological!" Joker nodded pleasurably at the woman's taunts below him.
"You really don't get it, don't you?" Joker said casually. "If I am a liar, then so is Catwoman and I know you two aren't exactly bosom buddies." Joker let out a small chuckle.
Talia hated the suggestion but paid no mind to it. Quickly, she distracted herself by looking at the man's icy green eyes. They were like acid, the same chemical used to give birth to him. Nasty, infected green mess they were. That is what he was.
"Do not bring her into this. She has nothing to do with Batman and I and all of this…." Joker pressed the gun to her temple.
"And they call me the delusional one. Catwoman is out there taking down your daddy's men on Batman's orders and ultimately, your own. So you in turn are helping her. Additionally, she is also part of the puzzle, sadly. I am not a big fan of old Thunder Thighs but she is also a part of this whole charade started by you and daddy."
Talia's eyes narrowed. She could only imagine that this must have been what Cleopatra felt like when Octavian invaded Alexandria. They were more or less allies but this time, she was losing a special port.
"She is a lot smarter than you give her credit for, so I can see why you would be jealous of her." Joker said casually. "But that's not what I am here to talk about."
Talia wanted to spit in his face so badly.
"You see, I am a lot closer to Bruce than you are willing to admit." Joker said in a low and eerie tone.
He knew the name. There goes the library, the men and her city.
"I saw the scars that Catwoman gave him, as well as the ones by Croc and Two Face. I also saw the emotional ones that you were responsible for. Tsk tsk, and you say that you love him. If you do, why do you hurt him?"
Talia fought the urge to bring out tears. How did he know these secrets, these highly personal mementoes that were meant for her and Bruce alone? He invaded sacred territory by bringing it up. He was no better than looters that raid the tombs of the pharaohs in the Valley of the Kings. What is worst is that he did it for pleasure, not profit.
"Once more, I think I came a lot closer than you ever did. You want to know how?"
Talia looked up, trying to ignore the clown's presence. It felt like rape and she wanted to blank out of the encounter. Joker leaned in and whispered in her ear. His voice was like the wind on a parched desert.
"I made him sing like a canary and burst up, like a fountain, like Old Faithful." Joker said finally.
The image was too much for Talia. Her heart was racing. The suggestion was no longer such and although he spoke cryptically, it was enough for her to fly into a defensive rage. She curled up her hands.
"How dare you….filthy animal!" Talia growled. "Liar!"
"Truth hurts, don't it, toots?" Joker said in a narcissistic fashion.
On that note, Talia took advantage and aimed her knee which was just below the Joker's groin. As if on cue, the Joker jumped up which made Talia miss his weak spot and instead got him on the thigh which made him roll over and she was now on top of him. The gun was tossed out from his hands and rolled to the side a few feet away.
"Disgusting….piece of trash!" Talia hissed. She tried to choke the clown by wrapping her hands around his long, thin neck but was quickly subdued when his hand hit her face. A thunderous blow breached her consciousness and she rolled over onto the side. As she tried to get up, Joker kicked her on the stomach, making her fall down. He kicked her in the face and pulled her hair. This was almost like trying to manhandle Harley, he thought. Harley had her own brand of super strength but once you get the right spots, it is easy to go in for the kill. Talia tried to hit the clown on the jaw but her force was not as strong as it was earlier. A combination of emotional overhaul and weakness made her slow down by precious seconds which gave the Joker more than enough advantages to strike.
Her nose was bleeding at this point and her eye was threatening to close but she still put up a fight. Like a she-wolf, Talia would not give up. She then felt the Joker grab her by her ankle and drag her. He too was bruised and bloodied but he had the upper hand….for now at least. As he pulled her, she tugged at a red table cloth and dragged it off the table. On top of the red cloth was a gold bowl-like container which was held over a small flame. In it was hot sand. As she pulled the table cloth, she made the bowl fall to the ground and spilled its contents. Talia grabbed the sand like substance, wincing as she did so. She told herself that this was no different than coal walking and that she had to sustain the pain for a few seconds more or it was her heart on the line.
Joker turned back at her and kicked her in the face.
"And that was for ruining my good suit! You have any idea how many tailors it took to make this? This ain't Armani, dearest!" As he hovered over her, Talia threw the hot coal-like substance from her hand and aimed it at the clown's face. Joker let out a cry and covered his face. The stings were unbearable and pricked at his skin like spikes on a cactus.
"That was just desserts, Joker. Just like how you did it to me earlier!" Talia shot back as she proceeded to get up and run towards the gun. She was within reach and was about to grab the weapon but before that, she felt a blow on her back which made her arch up and close her eyes. Joker landed on top of her and pinned her down.
"Bad move, dearie." Joker said as he looked down at her. His face was scarred with burn marks. He looked like a demon being from the pits of Hell. No longer did he have the pale look. Now, he looked like he had a flesh eating virus on his face from which the burnt marks created unsightly patches from. "Don't you ever touch the face," Joker said monosyllabically. As he did so, he pulled out her dagger from her bodice. "I am just going to have to teach you a lesson." Joker said darkly as he grabbed her face and waved the bloodied knife over her.
"I never took a woodcarving class but it's never too late to start, wouldn't you agree?"Joker said sarcastically.
The pain on Talia's back reminded her that she was on top of a gold mine. She reached back slowly. Any quick jolts and the Joker would be on it, like an owl on a mouse. She was relieved when she grabbed the gun from beneath her back and slowly, she brought it up to her side, keeping the clown distracted with her wide eyed face.
Feed him. Keep him distracted with your fear. He eats it up like nectar.
"Hmmm, what's a good look for you, the Great Sphinx of Giza or the Liberty Bell?" Joker said with a round of low chuckles.
A shot of thunder broke out and at that second, Joker paused and looked up. His eyes widened and he dropped the knife. Talia looked up, stunned. The Joker pulled back and saw a patch of red on his lower left side. It was like a red flower was blooming through his clothes.
He was shot. Talia shot him with his own weapon. Joker stood up, and touched his wound. A rich thick coat of wet redness soaked his fingers.
"You little cunt…." Joker said to himself.
At that moment, the Batman came running in.
"Talia! I heard something! What happened?" Batman said urgently. He looked at the dusky skinned woman but noticed that she was looking straight ahead with no expression on her face. The gun at her side let Batman know who was responsible but he was not ready to see the end result. Joker stood there, bleeding to death.
"Joker!" The Dark Knight yelled.
"Hiya, Bats! Your girlfriend and I were just….finger painting…." Joker laughed nervously.
"No, Joker, no…" Batman said softly as he walked over. Joker had sunk to his knees.
"It feels like tickles." Joker said with some pauses.
"Easy…" Batman said assuredly. Talia got up and spat at the sight. The Batman was giving more attention to the murderous psychopath than her. Her wounds were just as bad, if not worst. She only shot him in self defense. Joker was losing consciousness. The wound was not fatal but it did hit a delicate part of his body. His kidney was probably lost and the blood loss was first priority. Batman tore off a piece of his mantle and applied it to the Joker's wound and pressed it, trying to make the bleeding stop.
"Talia? What happened?" Batman said brusquely.
"He was going to carve my face. Be glad I did not aim for his heart," she said coolly. "Though I tried…."
"You were supposed to watch out for him, not trigger him." Batman said darkly.
"So what you are saying is that I need to babysit a monster and treat him like a kitten. What a joke indeed, Batman." Talia said sharply.
The Dark Knight lifted up the clown. His breathing was shallow. He needed urgent care.
"I did not make this by myself. I am not a masochist like him." Talia spat as she pointed to her blackened eye, bruises and bleeding sores on her body. Her once immaculate hair was now a mess. It was as if she had a run in with a Kodiak bear.
"But you are a trained assassin and he is not. His fighting style isn't as streamlined or disciplined like yours." Batman said sharply, almost as if he was trying to make her feeling guilty.
"He killed more people than Hitler and Stalin, perhaps even more and you are treating him like a lamb. Perhaps a trip to Arkham Asylum is in order, wouldn't you say, beloved?" Talia said in a bitter tone. "What kind of man pays more attention to a murderous clown than a woman who loves him, in spite of what her father says to her?" Talia pleaded.
"Someone who cares for life, now get out." Batman ordered. Talia closed her eyes and walked away. Before she left, she had some last words for him.
"Just remember, beloved. The more days you allow him to breathe means that more innocent people will die by his hand." The words were not exactly new or enlightening but one fundamental difference between her and Batman was that although they were both cynical, he still had that one little grain of optimism that allowed men like Joker to live. He would not allow him to die for the gratification of a few people because they would be on their level. What kind of example was that? That was what separated him from them. That was the point of being a hero. Without some form of buoyancy there was nothing to fight for, nothing to believe in and if saving the life of someone like Joker meant that, then so be it.
Catwoman came in not long after the tryst.
"Batman. The police just came in. The JLA also helped but we lost Ras." She said with the air of a British commandant entering Normandy.
It was all very good news but there was still something more urgent at hand.
"Selina, please." She looked down at the broken chalk white man in the Dark Knight's arms. He looked like a broken marionette in his arms.
A cocktail of antibiotics, three square meals and a monitor that charted his heart and breathing rates meant that their star patient was going to make a full recovery. He had a nasty concoction in his system but thanks to some breakthroughs and a little faith and trust, it was flushed out of his system.
"He went through heavy blood loss but otherwise he is fine…." a male voice declared.
"…..should be watched twenty four hours a day. I never seen anything like this…" a woman's voice responded. She was a nurse. She sounded short and portly.
"…..so glad I don't have to watch him. I cannot care for a monster like that!"
"Sylvia, do not say that! We at Saint Claire of the Sacred Heart do not turn anyone away!"
"…..what could have done this, a wild dog?" Another male voice asked. An intern, twenty eight and fresh out of Harvard Medical School asked.
A bitch, Joker thought.
Joker's mind was hazy. Everything looked like weird shapes. A great blur obscured his vision.
"Hey, doc. My colostomy bag is full. Please don't switch it with my feeding tube…" Joker said groggily.
"Mr. Joker, you need to rest." An old doctor said. "I will get you your gelatin dessert as it was mentioned in your medical list of preferred meals. Your expenses have been covered, miraculously." The fifty five year old African American physician said.
"Really? I have fans…? Heh…" Joker said weakly.
"Please, no sudden movements. Your bill was covered by the Wayne Foundation with extra contributions being made at Arkham Asylum. I swear that man is an angel." The doctor ordered and guided the orderly to the clown's new room where he would be fed and sheltered for the next few days.
"You don't say, doc…" Joker said weakly.
After he was shifted from the stretcher and onto his bed, the clown was left alone to his thoughts. He reflected on what he last remembered. There was a big fight involving him. He remembers a combat with some shrill harpy with a funny accent and then being wrapped up in a black blanket before waking up here. Joker looked down at his wound. That was not a result of some new drug prescriptions that Arkham proposed. Judging by the wound around his hip, something really big happened. He closed his eyes, trying to rest them.
No more than fifteen minutes later, a dark figure moved from the shadows. It was early evening still. It was no orderly as they would have made more shuffling noises. More movement and then Joker looked up.
"You there, if you saw me change into one of those horrible hospital gowns, I am going to report you for sexual harassment." Joker said with a small fit of giggles. Finally, the dark figure merged from the darkness. The pointy ears were the confirmation he needed.
"I was wondering when you would show. I was out for a week." Joker said snidely as he turned away.
"It was actually a month." The dark familiar husky voice corrected him.
"That long, huh? I feel so used knowing that they touched my bits. Now I know how that stripper at the university felt like….I feel so violated." Joker coughed.
"Don't move too much. You suffered blood loss. Two more pints and you would have gone into shock." Batman said sharply.
"Strange coming from a man who did not mind beating the pulp out of me…" Joker said sarcastically, looking away from the Batman as he talked.
"What is that supposed to mean?" The Batman asked. "You know I have not done that to you in months now."
"Months, days, what does it matter? Even if you did not break my bones, you still didn't mind breaking others things….," like my heart. Joker sighed.
Batman studied the words and it was obvious that the Joker was referring to their Russian stalemate after he was taken out by Dick.
"Joker, I told you before. That was not me. That was Nightwing dressed up as me." Batman explained. "What else do you want me to say? I had no choice in the matter."
Joker's green eyes narrowed. They were acidic and poisonous. Now, he was pinning the blame onto him.
"Really, now? You couldn't give your own son protocols that your territory was sacred and that there were lines he was not supposed to cross?" Joker growled.
"What does it matter now? It is all water under the bridge and all this stress isn't good for you. You need to rest. I only came here to check on you, not babysit you." Batman said shrewdly.
Joker's face contorted into one of disgust. How dare he undermine his own feelings, his own subjective thoughts? He didn't feel pain, so he felt active and awake enough to discuss sensitive matters. Why did Batman want to back away? Did he think he could get away from discussing what happened by lecturing him like this? No, he needed an explanation.
"Me, babysat? Oh, no dear Bats, that's not it. You are hiding behind that self righteous mask again to try and get out of what happened instead of coming to terms with it. I will be more than happy to tell you how I was just about to turn your pretty little wench into Pinocchio but not before you give me an explanation as to why you ditched me!" Joker shrieked. His heart rate was going up. The chart was entering critical territory. If he left now, then that meant that the Joker would be in grave danger. Best to rectify the situation as best as he could now, but how could he do that when the clown would not even pay attention to his factual words?
"Joker, for the last time, that was not me. That was Di-Nightwing, dressed up as me." Batman stated simply. Joker snorted.
"I heard you the first two times but that still doesn't get you off the hook." Joker arched himself up to get a better glance at the other man.
"Then what do you want me to say, Joker? What do you want me to say…..?" Batman said in an almost desperate tone. Joker merely cleared his throat and closed his eyes.
"I want you to tell me…why didn't you come to rescue me sooner?" Joker said in a dark and bitter tone.
"What was I supposed to do? Pay off the guards and take you home like that? That was never bound to happen." Batman stated simply.
"You could not sneak in as an orderly or something and then take me out of there?" Joker said with an arched eyebrow. "You know Arkham is not exactly known for its sophisticated security. Harley was able to get me out of there and you know what a bubblehead she is!" Joker hissed.
"She got you out and you repaid her by trying to kill her…again. You got out. What are you complaining about, then?" Batman said angrily.
Joker rolled his eyes. How could he be so blind?
"The difference is….Harley is steak and potatoes. You on the other hand are crowned rack of lamb. Harley getting me out only means putting up with her little tantrums and demands. If it was you, then the outcome would have been different. She….she does not give me the challenge that I crave so much."
"Joker, I could not get to you because I was still working on the case…" Batman began before he was cut off by the clown.
"FORGET THE CASE, YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME FOR ME?" Joker screeched. "WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ME OUT OF THAT SHIT HOLE? DO YOU THINK I LIKE BEING PROBED IN PARTS THAT SHOULD NOT BE POKED BY A LONG AND COLD INSTRUMENT? YOU THINK I LIKE BEING PRODDED, TESTED AND ELECTROCUTED ALL IN THE NAME OF 'SCIENTIFIC ENLIGHTENMENT'?'
Batman stood there frozen. He knew that it was bad at Arkham Asylum and although he paid no mind to the…unorthodox treatments that the inhabitants were subject to, now it was too raw, like a hatchet wound. It was of those painful life contradictions he wanted to suppress because it was easier to think of things in a linear way. Even child molesters were once innocent and beautiful babies corrupted by life circumstances out of their control. Was it really their fault? It was contradictions like those that he hated to face. He put people in boxes because it was easier to get the job done but once again, he was met with one of those annoying ambiguities. Joker was a psychopath with no remorse and at one point. It did not bother Batman that he went through unconventional treatments, as rumored by certain sources but now, after everything they shared, a black hole in his heart tore at his soul.
His ego clashed with his id. It hurt more because he 'put away' Joker for some study time and what ended up happening? He was almost fatally shot by a woman's wrath, a woman he once cherished no less.
"Joker, I did not mean for it to happen." Batman stated finally.
"You did not mean for 9/11 to happen either. What else is new?" Joker said sarcastically.
"Damn it, I am trying to help!" Batman said angrily. "Stop acting like a child!"
"I am not acting like a child, brute! You are a being a stubborn ass when I ask you the most simple of questions! Stop being so vague…." The clown hissed.
"..Vague. You just want to hear things that you want me to say. You don't want a genuine answer." Batman said sharply.
Joker's green eyes tensed. The suggestion that he was not up to hearing the cold hearted truth undermined him. This was like when that snake Talia was taunting him. Once again, his heart rate levels rose. Batman noted.
"Stop that." He ordered.
"Stop what?" The clown said defiantly.
"Your heart. Simmer down or you will go into arrest and pass out. I can't have you like that."
"Oh, how wonderful. You only care when I am about to die. Too bad you did not hurry up when it mattered most."
"That is a lie and you know it." The Dark Knight said in a bitter tone. "You know perfectly well I shed blood, sweat and tears to try and find out what was wrong with you and why Ras wanted to kill you." Batman pointed at the clown like an angry father. "You were more focused on other things and didn't let me finish what I had to do for you."
Joker looked at the Batman in a semi surprised way.
"So you are saying that I was a distraction? Something that got in your way of finding whatever it was they put in me?" Joker said in a sour note.
"No," Batman said with all the patience he could muster. "I am saying that while I was trying to analyze your samples, you were more interested in…other matters."
Joker looked at Batman incredulously. The suggestion sounded like he was ashamed of it.
"And what did you think about these….extra matters?" Joker said in an unpleasant voice, like he was being the judge.
Batman felt he was being put into the spotlight. He hated it because it meant pouring out the most sensitive of matters out in the cold. They could not be bottled up like a strain of virus on a test tube or a chemical in a beaker like how he had it in his chemistry set at home. Pouring out his most personal thoughts was like spilling rich wine on a white carpet.
"I….enjoyed them for what they were. I already told you that." Batman said with unease in his tone.
"I am not sure I believe you. You sound….scripted." Joker said sharply.
Batman then hit a metal file case and created a dent.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY! DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST? DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH OR A BEAUTIFUL LIE?" Batman said in a huff.
The Joker was slightly startled at the confession. He held his dressing gown in a fist. His heart rate went down just a smidgeon.
"I don't want either. I just wanted you by my side, but I am not so sure anymore." Joker said finally.
The words were sharp like knives. Even Batman did not know what to make of them.
"What do you mean, Jok-Jack?" Batman said in a calm, almost human voice. The husky voice dwindled immensely. If he wanted to talk to the clown, he had to calm down and speak to him like he was a human being and not a monster. Joker looked at the Batman with a slight sneer. The emotion in those beautiful green eyes spoke desperation but at the same time they were holding onto something by a thread.
"Jack is not here, at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep." Joker said sharply.
Batman's heart rate was going up but he suppressed it by clenching a fist. He was slippery like an eel.
"For the last time, I did not put you in Arkham. I did not want to put you in Arkham. It was done against my choice. I did not go out to find you because it was too risky-"
"That didn't stop you from falling into one of my many Venus flytraps. Eww, I just sounded like the Weed-"
"SHUT UP!" Batman barked. "I did not go out to rescue you because it was dangerous for the BOTH of us, not just me. You think it's been easy these last few days?"
"I bet you never had a tube put up your-"
"THAT DOES NOT MATTER! I can't undo the past. I have said what I needed to say. I could not get to you but that did not mean that I stopped attempting. I found out who was responsible for that virus you had when you got it from the explosion with the asbestos but YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME EXPLAIN!" Batman growled lowly.
Joker looked at Batman in a disgusted matter. So he was telling the truth that he could not get to him. He still felt that he was being cheated in some way.
He is telling the truth, let it be.
No, the jackass is trying to get to your good side.
Bruce sacrificed so much. Look how he spoiled you like a little prince.
Letting you watch late night TV and eating jell-o? Yeah, right.
Cut him some slack. He is not Harry Potter.
Bull excuse.
He is making one last attempt to rectify it all
He is so desperate. What a joke indeed.
"I want to believe you, but I am not sure, I do." Joker said simply.
"Then that's your choice….and your problem." Batman stated simply. "There is nothing I can do to change that."
The clown stared at the Bat in a shrew manner. He was a very Machiavellian character. It was certainly plausible for him to have been caught up in things but that was no excuse for him to ignore the atrocities he endured at Arkham, not mention being nearly shot and killed by a jealous ex-girlfriend. A simple 'I'm sorry' was like giving a kiss on the forehead to the family members of those who died major accidents around the world. It felt as though Batman was undermining him and that he could get him back with some little words, words that were as transparent as gauze. His actions were a little hazy. He was not exactly the most enthusiastic person to be around after their tryst either. Did he really change or was this another one of his games where he tried to be in control? He said he was going to figure everything out but look what happened. He lost a kidney.
"I am making an attempt to fix these bridges, Joker." The name again. "Bridges that the two of us broke." Oh, so now he was admitting responsibility. "I should have kept Dick out. I should have added extra protocols. I should have…."
"Would have, could have, should have…." Joker said in a bitter tone.
"You are not helping." Batman said in a tense manner.
"Why should I? I did not do anything but….oh, I don't know, endure abuse at a place that stresses rehab. How in the Hell do you think I feel? You think I deserved it!"
"You are not exactly Mother Theresa, Joker. Face the facts." The detective said brashly. He crossed his arms across his broad chest.
"I never said I was but what about my civil rights?" Joker hissed.
"You deserve civil rights no more than a dictator," Batman said in a gruff voice.
"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Joker growled.
"Figure it out," the detective replied quickly.
It was a Russian stalemate and it was uneasy for the both of them. Batman wanted the clown to see that he had good intentions but he was sidetracked trying to do him a favor, but all he could see was what he had to put up with. The abuse was inexcusable but it was frustrating to make him see anything outside of his glass house. In Joker's mind, he was the victim which was understandable but at the same time, very limiting. How were they supposed to grow out of this?
"Lemme ask you something, Joker, and I want you to be honest. No holds barred, understand?"
The Joker let out a small yelp and looked away. The Dark Knight took it as a yes.
"IF I were to take you back to the cave, would YOU change?"
The clown's eyes returned themselves onto the taller man before him.
"I am not sure…" Joker said simply.
Batman's eyes narrowed. He did not like the response, too vague.
"What does that mean?" Batman said in a gruff manner.
"It means what it means. I am not sure…." Joker said with a sigh. He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling but it was obvious to the other man that the jester was not thinking.
"How can you say that? It means yes or no. The answer is simple. No grey areas."
"Like you know anything about grey areas. Look who is talking…." Joker scoffed.
"I am offering you another chance. You can get out of here and we can work this out…" Batman said finally, sounding desperate.
"What if I don't want to work it out?"
Those were the most haunting words the Batman had heard from the clown's mouth. Not even one month ago, he felt the clown cooing in his ear, making his spine tingle. There is no single rational explanation for why the Joker would want this.
"Why wouldn't you want to, Jack?" Batman said finally. He said it in the most human voice he could muster, but a small part of him felt like he was suffocating.
"Now you call me by my name. A little too late, I am afraid." Joker hissed. He was a day late and a dollar short.
Batman did not like hearing those words. For a cynical man like himself, even this was too much.
"What are you saying?" The Dark Knight said in a careful manner.
"Bats, isn't it obvious? We can't agree." Joker said in a sweet voice.
"Obviously, I get that but I am not sure if I understand what you are saying about change." Batman prodded on.
"I meant what I said. I am not sure and that is putting it mildly." The clown said in a dark manner.
"Why would you want to go back to who you once were? That means going back to Arkham and the cycle continues." The dark detective pointed out.
"It isn't about the old fool Arkham or this metaphysical crap you are talking about. It's about me and what I want." Joker said simply. It sounded like a riddle, Batman thought.
"And what do you want? I can get you out and give you a room. You don't need this." Batman said in an almost pleading manner.
"You are so cute when you try," Joker smiled. "I appreciate the gesture, I really do."
"Tell me what you want, and I can get it. No questions asked." Batman said quickly. Joker stretched his lips in an amused manner.
"You cannot get buy this with your Master Card, Mr. Wayne." Joker said in a sour tone. At this point, Batman removed his cowl to reveal his human face. Joker was no longer speaking to the Bat, but the man beneath the Bat. He had hoped that this would bring out Jack, the man he once knew.
"Jack….please." Those desperate blue eyes ensnared the other man's attention. He had forgotten who mesmerizing those deep orbs of ocean blue were. "Help me, help you."
Joker sighed.
"Bruce, what if I told you to stop being Batman?"
"Let's not talk about….him. I'm here." Bruce said, just above a whisper.
"Answer my question, please." Joker said in a huff.
"I couldn't do it. It's my life." He stated simply.
"Then the same thing applies to me." Joker said without a pause.
Bruce's eyes widened. What kind of mind would want to go back to the way things were? True, Bruce was not exactly enthusiastic with his answers when Joker asked him about the 'other matters' but that did not mean that he cherished those memories any less. Is that where he messed up and drove Jack away, because he was not as passionate as he wanted him to be? Because he sounded ashamed at what happened?
"Yes, but I can help you." Bruce pleaded and held the clown's hand.
"I don't need your help. I am perfectly capable of functioning on my own, thank you." Joker said in a voice laced with pride.
"Need or want, Jack?" Bruce asked.
Joker rolled his eyes.
"You heard me." Joker cleared his throat. He drank from the cup of water to his side. He started to feel dehydrated.
"I can get you out of this. You don't need to do this to yourself. You're irrational but I can help you, please let me….." the philanthropist protested.
"So you are saying that I am not capable of making my own decisions? Are you treating me like a child?" Joker said angrily.
"No, I am saying that I want to help you, damn it. That is all." Bruce said in a tense manner.
"But what if that is not what I WANT?" Joker stressed as he pointed a finger to his bony chest.
Bruce sighed.
"What is it that you want then, Jack?"
"Please don't call me by that name. Jack died when Jeannie died, remember that." Joker said in a dark tone. "I want freedom."
"You can freedom. You can play checkers on the computer and I couldn't care less-"
"Not that kind of freedom, silly little bat…." Joker said with soft chuckles. "I want the freedom to be me." Bruce stared at the clown. His enigmatic response was maddening. His manner of speaking cryptically was annoying. "Look, put it like this. If I went to live with you, do you seriously think that I will extend that courtesy to Diaper Boy and Fatwoman?" Joker scoffed. "Please!"
"I never said that you had to be nice to them-"
"But you want me to, Bats and it simple won't work! Can you imagine what Thanksgiving dinner would be like with your little brood? Pass me the potatoes, Batgirl, oh and I am sorry for breaking your spine, as if they want me there!" Joker crossed his arms.
"You don't have to see them." Bruce said calmly.
"No, but they will find out. You trained your…children to be as skilled as you are. You really think they won't miss the green haired inhabitant in your cave?" Joker said spitefully.
"That's their problem. They don't know you like I do." Bruce said in a tender manner while trying to hold Joker's hand. The other man pulled away.
He had a point there but he was still missing the bigger picture.
"Bats, I am wildcat, and I simply cannot live in captivity." Joker said simply.
"You did a wonderful job while you were there." Bruce said trying to appeal to the clown's better nature.
"Yes but that was temporary. You know, killer whales die sooner when they are in captivity than when they are in the wild, right?"
"Yes, but I also know that lions can live up to twenty five years in the zoos while in Africa, they can reach age fifteen at best." Bruce said in a tender fashion. Bruce sat on the bed, next to the clown. He leaned over and kissed the clown on the cheek and neck. He wanted to flush those words he heard earlier down. It was not the virus that affected him. It was not. This was choice. Joker could still change.
"Please, Jack. Come live with me. I can give you all I need. You don't need this." Bruce said in a pleading way. He thumbed the clown's bony face with gauntleted hand.
"Bats, this is all I know. I can't live with you because your family wouldn't allow it-"
"Forget them! It's your welfare that is important to me!" Bruce begged.
"I appreciate the gesture but I do not think you are taking my thoughts and feelings into consideration." Joker said with a wagging finger.
"You are telling me that you want to go back to being a fugitive, go back to the asylum, the same place where they mistreat their patient's, and basically act like nothing happened between us?"
"Now you acknowledge it!" Joker hissed. "Now I am important when I do something you don't like."
"That's not what I meant…" Bruce began
"Too late! My rising sign is in Taurus and I have made up my mind." Joker shushed the other man.
"So that's it? You are ignoring the fact that you were getting better and changing because I was not quick enough and because I said things in the manner you did not like them? I thought you were getting better, and ultimately that you were going to leave HIM behind," Bruce queried.
"I never made promises that I was not going to do that, didn't I?" Joker asked.
Truth be told, Joker never made such a pledge. They bonded, they shared an intimate experience but that was it. Joker was treating it like a passing event like going on a merry go round. Was it hypocritical of Bruce to get upset about it when he was not enthusiastic about it earlier? He was sort of ashamed because he was not good at recounting personal experiences with gusto. He was not able to do that with Selina or Talia either, so it was possible that Joker was taking it too personally and he chose not to see it that way? That's what it all came down to; choice. Choices were not always idealized ones. They never were but he was not going to stop, not yet.
"But don't you miss the…bonding experiences we had? Are you ignoring the moments we had?" Bruce asked. The clown smiled.
"I didn't say that I had amnesia, silly boy. I will always treasure what we had but that was a passing dream." Joker said calmly.
"So what you are saying is that I am supposed to accept that you are going to go back to being a murderous psychopath and that I'm supposed to accept it?" Bruce said roughly.
"Basically," Joker said sharply.
"Then I cannot allow that." Bruce said angrily.
"And what makes you think that you are going to stop me?" Joker said in a daring manner.
"Because wherever crime is, I will be there to stop it." It was internal, it was within his DNA.
"Then I guess we will be seeing more of each other, I suppose…." Joker said casually.
"Do you even hear yourself! You basically want to go back to me breaking your bones every night until one of us drops dead. You had another possibility and I was there. I saw it grow. I thought we were making progress." Bruce beseeched the other man.
"Roses grow in the Spring and die in the Fall. It's the circle of life, Bats." Joker said simply.
For a clinical psychopath who based his life on lies, that was a profound statement nestled in truth but even Bruce did not want to accept it. There had to be a better way, there just had to.
"Then, if that's the case, I will be there to stop you." Bruce said in a possessive manner.
"Just like old times then," Joker said nonchalantly.
"It doesn't have to be like old times, you can undo that. You have the power to change it but you are not letting yourself because you delude yourself into thinking that being a psychopath is all you have."
"Oh, and like you putting on the cowl every night. Even if I were to behave, you still have to Tango with Two Face and the Riddler and do you think I am happy with that? Just because you take one of us off the street does not mean that you cleaned up the city. No God dang way!" Joker declared.
"I can manage. I am a crime fighter. It's what I do."
"And yet, crime still crops like weeds. And you call ME delusional." Joker pointed to himself.
It was one of the worst insults, being called delusional by a man who embodied madness. Joker did have points but Bruce did not want to acknowledge them, partially because they were coming out of the mouth of a madman. At the same time, they were profound truths. They were politically incorrect, raw undeniable realities that could not be avoided. True, Joker could stay in the cave but that would be the equivalent of trying to tame a full grown tiger after it was taken out of the jungle. Even if the odds were against him, Bruce wanted to fix the tiger but then, would it be selfish of him to try and do that when the tiger's thoughts were not taken into consideration? It would be depriving them of their natural habitat. But the thing is, Joker was a psychopath and he would not doubt return to his violent ways if he was loose and Bruce did not want to allow that, not after the growth he had witnessed before his eyes.
"What about the time when you had the bath? What about the time I taught you how to throw a batarang? What about the time I defended you against Catwoman and Nightwing before he meddled? What about those times when I saw you smile not out of the pleasure out of ending a life but because you were enjoying life like a normal person for once!" The Batman prodded on.
The Joker rolled his eyes. Normal. That was a very limiting word. It was punishing too because it put him in a box that which he did not belong in. Normal was a word to cage whatever was undesirable out and Joker was far from that ideal. If normal was in the middle then he would be outside of the continuum. There was no place for him in this 'normal' world. Who was he to say what was 'normal' when he dressed up like that every night?'
"That was once upon a time, I'm afraid…" Joker said with a frustrated moan.
This felt like the time when he wanted to reach out to the clown after Barbara was shot in the spine. He knew Joker was capable of conscious choice and he knew that he could make the right one if only he needed a little push in the right direction but Joker chose not to. That was different than nature or being unconscious about it. With a little conditioning, it could be done. Conditioning, that was a cold, scientific word. It was a more neutral way of saying 'training'. That was training and you only train dogs or animals until you get the desired result. That was control and you could not control someone like the Joker. He was a not a dog. He was his own person with his own subjective thoughts and views just like Selina had her own life philosophy, just as Diana, Clark and Talia did. Joker crossed that bridge and savored what it was like to be away from his old life. Why did he want to leave this when they had made progress and their relationship went to deeper levels?
Was it a relapse? It was certainly possible and treatable but was it really going to work when Joker CONSCIOUSLY made his decision? Joker had certainly emotionally attached himself to the experience but that didn't change the fact that he was a dangerous individual and who really was going to believe that he would be tame? For Bruce certainly but he would not extend that to Dick, Tim, much less Selina or Talia. Joker was his own breed of animal so was it really healthy to keep him in an environment that contradicted his inherent nature? On a temporary scale, it did work but a permanent one was sketchy, unpredictable like the criminals he encountered and this was a constant every night. Would he do the same? Would he give up being Batman? No, that his lifeline. It was within his genes. You could not extract that part of him because Batman was him. He was the spirit, the beast, the id. Bruce Wayne was the human vehicle. He was a more friendlier, tolerable version of him.
"Lemme ask you something then, darling. Would you give up the cowl if it meant that I would not go back to the life?" Joker said in a secret fashion.
"No, I would not." Bruce stated simply.
"Why not?" Joker said with a smile. It was a look that said 'see, you are demonstrating my point!'
"Because it is a part of me. All it took was for that gunshot to come out but he was…dormant. All he needed was an opportunity. I cannot put that aside, Joker." The taller, muscular man said coolly. Joker smacked his lips.
"Then what makes you think I will return the favor just to please you?" Joker said in a voice laced with pride.
"It's not about pleasing me-"
"Oh, yes it is. You want me to be a good boy so you can put me under your thumb…." The clown said with a blush.
"It's not about control. I just don't understand why you would want to undo what happened these last two months because of my mistake. Yes, I do own up to my faults and nothing can ever fix that and I am offering you one more chance but you are not letting me because you choose to ignore my help, all because of some ego trip."
Joker rose up from the bedside and propped himself up, Such defiant, delicate and powerful words from someone who was in a delicate mindset.
"It's not about choice, I am afraid. You ever watch those TV shows when the animals attack their owners? Just because you take the cat out of Africa does not mean you take the Serengeti out of the cat, or more precisely, you can take the Joker out of Arkham but you cannot take the Arkham out of the clown. True facts." Joker said proudly.
Bruce sighed.
"So what you are saying is that what we had, all of it, the dinners, the moments, the bonding, all of it was a lie?" He said in a low and dark tone. He was trying to contain the anger that threatened to pop like a bottle top.
"Not so fast. I was there and while I am not exactly known for my credibility, I will always remember that but that cannot undo the fact that you didn't let me in, didn't trust me, failed to help me and ultimately had to have my gizzards shot out. I have excellent memory, like an elephant but I cannot forgive, Batman. That was never an attribute of mine. Who said that it was?"
Joker being a forgiving figure was like saying Pat Robertson should repeal the proposition in California.
"You choose not to forgive me, that is what you are saying." Batman asked again. Joker sighed.
"I said I COULD NOT forgive. There is a difference, just like YOU CAN NOT obliterate crime in Gotham. It is as natural to her as water and the Atlantic, feathers and beaks on birds, and two plus two equaling four. There are some things you cannot change, Batman, no matter how hard you break them down."
"But I saw you actually admit wrong when you shot Batgirl and killed Robin. I saw you actually break down."
Joker cleared his throat. He remembered that moment. His heart raced. The memory triggered some anxiety. It was obvious by his heart chart rate.
"I did."
"So then, you are wrong about not being able to choose. You did and I saw you but for some reason, you are scared. You were scared of emotion because you felt a long buried emotion rise up like a volcano. I was the same too and you showed me different." Bruce said in a soft voice. The timbre got to the clown's ears. Here, he saw the Batman get on his knees begging him to come back. It was such sweet music but on the other hand, Joker saw it as a trap. The moments with Jeannie, the pain, the hurt all came back scrambling to his brain. He did not like experiencing pain. He would prefer to be the CAUSE. In the former, he was not in control but in the latter, he was. There was no reason for him to go back and experience that.
"I was anxious because I got caught and I upset you, not because I felt some sympathy for the girl. But it's all spilt milk and water under the bridge now as far as I am concerned. What's done is done. Be glad I didn't do anything else and in case you forgot, I did not run up and kiss her feet when she made a surprise visit." Joker sighed.
So there it was. Joker's spitfire at a moment when he saw the clown demonstrate what he thought was raw emotion but in reality, he was no different than the teacher in Florida that got caught with her student and cried. But she did not cry out of guilt or because she realized the pain she caused the boy's family. She let out the waterworks because she got caught. They were crocodile tears. Joker became anxious, like a whore trying to save her skin from public shame. Joker did it to get on his good side. Was that genuine? Was that worth trying to fix this broken bridge? He never made apologies and he never made a promise he did not keep. Did Joker even change at all and if so, how much of it was real? How much of it was staged?
Water under the bridge, and that is what it was. They were not going to agree. This was a Russian stalemate as far as both men were concerned. Why help someone when they do not want to be helped? First rule of addiction therapy is that the individual had to help themselves. It was a truth that goes back to the ancient Greeks when Chilon of Sparta spoke the words 'know thyself'. Both men knew what they wanted. There was no point in fighting around it anymore. They were two alphas and a power struggle would not allow for peace. Athens and Sparta, West vs East, the Union and the Confederacy. The Dark Knight and the Clown Prince were back to square one because both men could not come to a compromise.
The only way that it would stop is if one of them would die and Joker was not about to ask Batman for permission for assisted suicide because that violated the other's sacred oath. That in itself was proof that Joker was compromising but it was not the same.
"You know that you run a high risk of me breaking your bones every time I catch you with your hands red, correct?" Bruce said as he put on the cowl. No longer was the compassionate individual with a charitable heart available. The Dark Knight with his no bull demeanor was in charge now.
"Perfectly. For all you know, that nasty virus probably affected my senses too" Joker said as he was accepting the terms of a new job he just got hired at.
The last words were like stab wounds but Bruce did not want to dignify them.
"And you are aware that I will show no mercy on you, in spite what happened between us. I will act as if nothing happened, right?" Batman said as he was on the window sill. It was close to eleven PM and it was dark now.
"Oh, I am not too sure about that." Joker said as he stood up from his bed.
Batman just stood there and watched the clown walk towards him. The hospital gown left little to the imagination and it made his heart skip a beat.
"Get back to bed, now." Batman ordered.
"Not until I get my good night kiss." Joker said finally.
Batman sighed. He pressed his hand onto Joker's head and just as he was going to lean down, the clown reached out and pulled his face towards his and placed his lips onto the Dark Knight's. The passion was intense and the clown let out pleasurable moans as he savored the contact. Batman's icy demeanor melted when he felt the clown's tongue enter his mouth. He extended the same courtesy to him. A full blown expression of their lust was made present in their faces. In under one minute it was over, evaporated into the air like gas from a hot spring. The clown tipped on his toes and whispered onto the Bat's ears. His hot breath was making contact with the other man's cheek.
Their rapport was always a dysfunctional one but now there was a new monkey wrench in the machine.
"I guess our encounters are going to be a little bit complicated from now on, don't you think?" Joker whispered in the other's ear. It was an obvious reference to the link and bond he had with Selina and Talia. In a strange way, it was a funny joke but the Dark Knight did not smile.
As Batman swung on his grapple that night, he could not do anything but note the truthfulness in Joker's words, even if they came from the mouth of someone who was irrational. Insane he may be, but unforgettable he certainly was not. There was another layer to their relationship, one that was going to add extra complications in their future encounters. Batman was torn as to whether it was a good thing or not but one thing was for sure, each encounter could mean one more brick, one more slab of glue, one more chance at rebuilding that bridge.
I hope you enjoyed it. I wrote it Wednesday night and finished it Thursday after adding some last minute details. I did this as a creative challenge. You can either view this as the alternative ending to OMC or as a fictional project. Make of it what you wish but know that I had fun with this and wrote it from the heart.