While scrolling through the eva fics at fanfiction.net, I thought to myself. ¡°Why oh why are there so few eva humor stories??¡± And after reading Cupid¡¯s Arrow by Ishagu, I decided to finally write this fic, which I¡¯ve been thinking about for some time. It takes place in the universe Shinji dreamed up during the last episode of the series. What if that¡¯s the way things actually happened? Well, here¡¯s my take at it.
I do not own any of these characters. Someday I hope someone says that about the ones I create on my own spare time. J
Also, to work off what actually happens, I¡¯m taking everything word for word as it appears in the series this first chapter...I hope I can¡¯t get sued for that or nothing...having to sell my pickle collection would devastate me...
Note: There are some weird characters every time I put a ... or a comma, or something like that. I think its with quotes too. Sorry! I¡¯ll fix it as soon as possible!
¡°Baka Shinji!¡±
*gasp* Shinji¡¯s eyes suddenly opened as she was shocked from his sleep. It was strange how every morning he seemed to be unsure where he was.
¡°It¡¯s about time you got up. Shinji, you idiot.¡±
Shinji rubbed his sleepily eyes, saying the same thing he said every morning. ¡°Ah, what is it Asuka...¡± He yawned a bit, trying to get that morning taste out of his mouth.
¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?! Can¡¯t you appreciate the fact that I went to the trouble of coming to wake you up?!¡±
Shinji had grown accustomed to all this yelling as was trying to decide whether or not to go back to sleep.
¡°Don¡¯t you have any words of appreciation for your oldest childhood friend?!¡±
¡°Ah...arigato...but let me sleep just a little longer...¡±
¡°What are you doing?!¡± Asuka was never one to put up with disobedience, especially from Shinji. Raising her fist in anger she quickly grabbed Shinji¡¯s bed sheets and threw them off. ¡°It¡¯s time for you to get up!¡±
*gasp* Asuka pulled back, her red face of embarrassment was quickly replaced with a red face of anger from which countless innocent young boys have fled from in terror.
¡°YOU STUPID PERVERT!¡±
*SMACKAGE!!*
¡°I can¡¯t believe you got one of those!!¡±
¡°I can¡¯t help it, it¡¯s morning!!¡±
Shinji¡¯s pen-pen doll bobbled his little head in the background as he tried covering himself. In the kitchen his mother was washing the dishes to the sound of the TV weather forecast.
¡°Oh, my, Asuka is so sweet to come pick him up every morning, and he doesn¡¯t appreciate it.¡±
Gendo replied, distracted by the day¡¯s paper, a grunt-like, ¡°Uh.¡±
¡°Dear, you have to get ready too.¡±
¡°Uh¡±
¡°Gosh,¡± she said with a pleasant frown, ¡±You¡¯re just like Shinji.¡±
¡°Are you ready?¡±
¡°Anytime,¡± she said with approval, ¡°I¡¯m the one who gets complaints from Professor Fuyutsuki if you¡¯re late for the meeting.¡±
¡°That¡¯s true. He¡¯s your biggest fan.¡±
¡°Oh you! Cut that out and get ready!¡±
¡°I understand, Yui.¡±
Asuka waited impatiently by the door as Shinji slowly dressed.
¡°Hurry up!¡±
¡°I know! You¡¯re such a pain in the ass sometimes, Asuka!¡±
¡°What did you say?!?¡±
*MORE SMACKAGE*
Shinji stood by the front door, a large red hand covering his face, waiting for Asuka to put her shoes on.
¡°We¡¯re leaving now! Itenkimas(sp?)!¡± she said cheerfully.
¡°Itenkimas,¡± he said sullenly.
¡°See you later sweetie! C¡¯mon dear put the newspaper down!¡±
¡°Uh...I understand...Yui...¡±
Outside Shinji and Asuka ran down the sidewalk against the large traffic jam. They were accustomed to running, as Shinji was accustomed to waking late.
¡°
¡°Hey, isn¡¯t there a new student starting today?¡± he asked.
¡°Yeah that¡¯s right! Since the city¡¯s going to become the new capital, they¡¯re a lot of people moving in. It¡¯s no wonder we¡¯re getting so many new kids.¡±
¡°Oh, that makes sense. I wonder what she¡¯s like?¡± He said with dreamy eyes, ¡°I hope she cute!¡±
Asuka scowled at an oblivious Shinji.
Just around the corner, a certain blue haired girl was running for all she was worth.
¡°Oh, I¡¯m late! I¡¯m late!! I can¡¯t be late for the first day!¡±
The piece of toast bounced, held by her teeth, as she tried to eat it while she ran.
Panting heavily, she nearly screamed as a brown haired boy ran around the corner and suddenly,
*SMASH!!*
Shinji held his head, trying to get his wits together. The blue haired girl clutched her head as well, her toast now a snack for the birds.
¡°Huh?¡±
¡°Huh? AH!¡± She suddenly pulled back down her skirt and jumped up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I¡¯m in a hurry!!¡±
With that she started to run down the sidewalk once more. Shinji just sat there, still able to see the white cotton glory as she ran away.
¡°I¡¯m really very sorry!¡± she yelled back.
Shinji sighed in curious manner.
Asuka growled in a pissed manner.
¡°WHAT?!¡±
At the school Toji could hardly believe it. ¡°Did you see her panties?!¡±
¡°Well, it wasn¡¯t a very good look. Just a little flash,¡± said Shinji with a taunting grin.
¡°AAAAH! I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re the one who gets all the luck!!¡±
Toji grabbed his face in disbelief just as Hikari grabbed his ear, demanding his attention.
¡°AaaAACK! What are you doing, class rep!!¡±
¡°Suzuhara! Just what exactly were you talking about? Go change the water in the flower vase right now! You understand?¡±
¡°You¡¯re so mean!¡±
¡°Nani?!¡±
Shinji leaned back and sighed a bit. ¡°Poor Toji¡¯s so hen-pecked. It¡¯s sad, isn¡¯t it?¡±
¡°Look who¡¯s talking.¡±
Shinji quickly turned back to Asuka behind him. ¡°Are you saying that I¡¯m easily manipulated?¡±
¡°I¡¯m merely reporting the facts.¡±
¡°How so?!¡±
¡°It just is. Accept it.¡±
¡°Why do you always treat me like this?! You always...OW! That hurts you idiot!¡±
Kensuke just sat back, grinning to the sound of more yelling. ¡°The calm. The peace and tranquility...aaaaah!¡±
Suddenly, screech marks and the smell of burning rubber marked the sounded the highlight of the morning. Shinji and Toji pulled away from their abusive counterparts and joined a drooling Kensuke at the window.
*In unison* ¡°It¡¯s Misato sansei!!¡±
She stepped out of her red sports car, waving her purple hair and smiling to the sweet chime music being imagined by the three waving students.
¡°ooOOOH!! Misato sensei is so gorgeous!!¡± the three said together as they returned her victory symbol, grinning from ear to ear.
*Asuka and Hikari* ¡°Look at those three stooges! Baka-des!¡±
The school bell rang as Hikari sounded the usual STAND! BOW! SIT! commands. Misato looked at the students as if she had a special secret with each one of them.
¡°Lighten up dude! We¡¯ve got a new blue-haired babe here to introduce herself!!¡±
¡°My name is Ayanami Rei! Nice to meet you!¡±
¡°GAH!¡± Shinji did a slight giant double take as he recognized the face, the hair, and the skirt.
¡°HEY! You¡¯re the jerk who was staring at my panties!!¡±
¡°Hey, what do you mean by that?!¡± yelled Asuka as she jumped from her seat, ¡°You¡¯re the one that was flashing them at Shinji!!¡±
¡°Who are you and why are you defending him? Are you guys doing it?¡±
¡°GAH! Uh...wha...NO! We¡¯re just really good childhood friends!! You shut up!!¡±
¡°Be quiet you two!¡± Hikari stood up, getting in the mix of it, ¡°We¡¯re in a class, not a bar!¡±
¡°Hey! This is more entertaining then class! I want to see how this turns out. Please continue!¡±
The class all laughed together to Misato¡¯s coy remarks as Asuka slowly sat back down embarrassed. Shinji was still in a state of shock, Hikari was pissed, and Rei just kept glaring.
What a wonderful start
To the perfect day
Finished! Tell me what you think! Every kind of review is appreciated! The sooner I get ¡®em, the sooner I update!