That fucking flea! Sometimes Shizuo thought that the little shit's very existence was created specifically to piss him off. It must have been; otherwise, why would anything the blonde did to try to harm the way too skinny man backfire on him?
Like now, for instance. The Flea moved just in time to dodge the downward assault Shizuo had made with a lamp post he ripped from the side of the road. The lack of a target allowed the giant metal pole to ricochet off the pavement and hit the blonde in the forehead. The bartender fell on to his back upon impact, the lamp post clanking then rolling away from him. Had it been anyone else he was attacking, Shizuo would have given up; he would've chose to lie there, attempting to calm himself and tell himself that whoever it was, wasn't worth the chase. But this is the Flea he was fighting! And no matter what, he would not. Let. That. Asshat. Win!
Before the brute could jump back in to stance, he heard footsteps stepping on either side of him. He opened his eyes just in time to see a dark figure bend down to sit on his chest. Ruby eyes stared playfully in to his own amber ones. The Flea had him in a suggestive position… This couldn't be good. That wretched, holier-than-thou smirk still splayed on the other's face. The longer his enemy stared at him like that – like a predator hunting for prey, or a child ogling a new sweet in a sweets shop – the more Shizuo feared for his life. He knew that pain was an unknown feeling for his body, but no one tried to skillfully kill him. No one tried to shoot him in the head, no one tried to strangulate him. No one tried to slit his throat with a shiny, metallic, slightly arousing knife similar to the one Izaya was fondling between his fingers.
But he would never let that fear show on his face. The blonde always dreamed that when he went out – if he went out – he would go out on a chariot of fire. Fearless, like a brave warrior, like a good big brother and body guard would. Well, he's had his fight, this was as close to "as a warrior" that he would get (even though his fate was mainly his fault, but Shizuo wouldn't think about that).
The brown eyed man unconsciously flinched when his enemy suddenly raised his arms to the sky, the knife landing dangerously on Shizuo's chest, but still gazed at him like an entertaining toy. Izaya stayed in that position for a while, making the taller man grow anxious. Strangulation it was, the Flea was always one for torture. Izaya's hands lowered towards his captive, but instead of grasping his throat, the brunette held Shizuo's face, severely confusing the blonde. He's had enough of this; a crowd had started to gather, and the idiot wasn't going to kill him. He should take his change now.
"Lick my uvula!" The pale man spontaneously shouted.
Shizuo's eyes went wide, he was a t a loss for words. Izaya couldn't possibly mean –
"Taste my stomach bile you whore!" With that, playful man mashed his lips to the blonde's in a forceful kiss.
A/N: It's a little gross, but you know it's something Izaya would do and say. This is a borderline short and I apologize. I'm simply screwing around with my words to get back in the writing habit.