Mary couldn't believe it. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be pregnant; it was hardly possible. It had only ever happened once. Still, she had been due a week and a half ago, and she had never missed her monthly gift before.
Pamuk was dead. If she was pregnant, she wouldn't be able to hide her scandal from anyone. It would be all over the newspapers. And who would help her take care of the baby? She couldn't live as a single mother. If she had the baby, she would never have a chance of marrying. No man would want to come near her for her impurity.
She had been wracking her brains for two days now, and Mary still hadn't thought of what she should do. Her original solution was to tell her mother, for only she would know what to do. Mary had tried to shake the idea from her head. She couldn't tell her mother. How would Cora ever forgive her? After two days of no good ideas, Mary had decided it was the only solution.
She had waited for a good time to tell her, but Cora was so busy, and that moment had been hard to come by. It was after dinner that evening, when Anna had finished helping her change and braided her hair, she asked to speak to her mother. It wasn't often that Mary had asked to speak to her mother, so Cora entered Mary's room curiously.
"What is it, Mary?" she asked almost impatiently.
"Oh, Mama," Mary cried, tears escaping her eyes as she moved forward to embrace her mother.
It had been an extremely curious call. Cora had telephoned him in the middle of the day. Tuesday: a work day no less. All she had told him was that she needed to see him early the next morning. He was supposed to meet her at the back door. All in all, the situation was terribly suspicious to Matthew.
He had to take the morning off of work, but seeing as it was for family, Matthew tried not to be bothered by it. He was riding his bike up the gravel path to Downton Abbey. When he reached the massive house, he hid his bike by one of the large willow trees in the yard and made his way to the back of the house.
Matthew couldn't help but remember the first time he had seen Downton. He had been absolutely astounded by it. He had received a telegram from Lord Grantham informing hi that he was the new heir to Downton only four days prior. He had grown up middle class, worked as a middle class lawyer, and had planned to marry, raise his own family, and die a middle class man. Inheriting the grand Downton estate was never considered an option. Inheriting any estate had never been viewed as an option.
Matthew reached the back door of the house, where he hardly pulled his hand up to knock before the door was pulled open from the inside. It was Cora, and she looked to each side to make sure he was the only one there before pulling him inside.
"I do apologize for the secrecy," she said.
"It's hardly a problem, Cousin Cora," he told her.
Cora led him through parts of the house he had never seen before, to a small sitting room he had also never seen before. To his surprise, Mary was there, nervously sitting in a chair near the windows.
Mary had despised him since the moment he met her. He remembered her hurt expression when she walked in on him and his mother. He had been complaining to her about Lord Grantham, saying he would be trying to push on of his daughters at him. Mary had heard, and she had been cold towards him ever since. He had attempted on multiple occasions to make amends, but she wouldn't hear of it. Luckily for him, she seemed as surprised by his entry as he was by her presence.
"Mama, what is this? I thought you were calling for Dr. Clarkson," Mary said with an irritated tone.
"Mary, you have already seen the doctor. There isn't anything else he can do," Cora explained.
"He can do more than him," Mary said, nodding her head in Matthew's direction. He tried to hide how uncomfortable he was by Mary's decision to pretend he wasn't there.
"I think I will leave you two alone for a minute," Cora said, giving her daughter a warning glance. And with that, she left Mary to explain everything to Matthew.
Mary sat, staring at her feet, doing everything she could to avoid Matthew's gaze. He awkwardly made his way towards her and sat in a chair opposite her. He watched her, waiting for her to say something. After several long minutes in which Mary mentally planned how the impending conversation would take place, she sighed and looked up at him.
She couldn't help but feel reassured when she looked into his eyes. They were so blue, and they were pleading with her to tell him everything. Before she knew what she was doing, Mary spilled everything. She told him all about Pamuk: how she had been so attracted to him; how they had flirted; how he had drawn her away from the family and kissed her; how he had asked to visit her; and most importantly, how he had come to see her that night. She refrained from telling him where he had passed that night.
She hated the look on Matthew's face. He was shocked, and she knew why. All he was thinking about was how impure she was. Surely he despised her by now, and that she couldn't bear at the moment.
"Say something," she finally spoke up.
He remained unflinching for several more moments. "Did you love him?" he asked.
Mary was somewhat taken aback by the question. "No, I'm sure I didn't."
Matthew was satisfied with her answer, though he wasn't sure what to say next. He was spared when Cora reentered the room, and pitying look on her face. It was then that Matthew remembered he still hadn't been told what this had to do with him.
"Cousin Cora?" he began the question.
"Mary believes she may be pregnant," she said, completely catching Matthew off guard. He couldn't help but steal another glance at Mary, who was once again looking at her feet.
"Is she sure?" he asked.
"We talked to Dr. Clarkson yesterday. He said it is more than likely."
"But what does this have to do with me?" he finally asked.
Cora waited while she thought of the right words to say. Clearly, there wasn't a right way to say it. He must have had ambitions of his own. Plans to marry someone he loved, and raise a family with his own children, not the children of a foreigner he hardly ever spoke to.
"Cousin Matthew, please take into account how terribly sorry I am to have to ask this of you," she began. Matthew shifted his feet, sensing what would come next wouldn't be good. "If Mary really is pregnant, then there is no way to hide the scandal of what happened. Even if no one knows who the father is, they will know she had a child out of wedlock, which is scandal enough without them knowing the father is dead."
"Of course," Matthew said, urging her to continue.
"Now, if Mary were to take a husband as soon as possible, she could cover the story by claiming she conceived on her wedding night."
It was then that it clicked in Matthew's head. He didn't know how to respond to his cousin's request, though he didn't have to because that was when Mary made herself heard.
"Absolutely not!" she shrieked.
"Mary…" Cora pleaded.
"Mama, had I known this is what you wanted, I never would have told you! I don't want to marry someone I hardly know just to cover up the scandal!"
"It shouldn't be that hard considering you are pregnant with the child of a man you knew less than Matthew!" Cora snapped. She immediately felt guilty for her inappropriate remark when she saw how her daughter's expression changed. "Mary, all your life you believed you would marry out of duty, not love. If you married him, you would inherit Downton, and no one would have to know who the child's real father is. And if you don't want to keep the baby, we can give them up with the excuse that neither of you were ready quite yet."
Mary gave Matthew an apologetic look. Cora felt she had done her duty.
"Please show Cousin Matthew the way out to the back door," Cora said to Mary. "And would both of you, please, consider it?"
Mary said nothing to her mother as she led Matthew out of the room. She directed him down a pair of corridors before stopping in her tracks and bursting into tears.
Matthew was stunned. Mary had never come across as the type of person to let any sign of weakness show around another person. He didn't know what to do.
"Cousin Matthew, I'm so sorry you have to do this," she sobbed. "We won't force you to do anything. I completely understand if you say no. But we didn't know what to do!"
Matthew surprised them both as he reached forward and grabbed Mary by her shoulders and kissed her. He had expected her to pull back but she didn't. When he pulled away from her, she pulled him back so he could embrace her. She continued to sob into his shoulder.
"Did you feel anything?" she asked.
"Nothing," he sadly admitted. He pushed her away from his so he could look her in the eyes.
"Mary, don't be sorry. As the heir to Downton, I believe my duty is to the estate and to the family. It doesn't matter if we don't feel anything between us. Isn't that what marrying out of duty feels like? And besides, I believe that after a while we might begin to feel something."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Matthew, please, don't… you don't have to do this you know."
"Would it make a difference if I said I wanted to do this? That I wanted to help?"
"I still don't think you should give up your future, a wife, or a family just because I was foolish. I'm sure you had hoped for something different."
"I hoped for something completely different from becoming the heir to an estate. My future already will be completely different from what I expected."
They both remained silent for a moment. Mary was only trying to wrap her head around where her life was turning.
"Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asked her.
A/N I know this chapter was a little far-fetched, but I thought it was kind of a neat idea. This is my second Downton Abbey fanfiction, so if you haven't been reading my first one, it is called "Inescapable", and it is also a Mary/Matthew story. Please follow, favorite, and review!