AN:

This Fanfiction may contain: Swearing, References to sexual contact (this isn't about smut though), Use of recreational Marijuana, Alcohol, teenage angst, existential angst, and bees.

Don't worry, this isn't completely AU - just a certain point in Gem history transpired differently and this is the result. There's still a history behind what lead the characters into this existence, but I'll withold from explaining - it's better to read it in the fanfiction, when it comes to that. I could clarify some things in the Authour Notes, but unless it's pretty confusing I'm not sure I will. I'm sure there's enough for you to pick up on what's going on, as you have the context of the entire show, unlike these characters. The characters in the tags will make their way over eventually. I didn't intend for this to be a Stonerfic but I got stoned to write the second chapter and... Yeah. It's still a story with stuff to tell. Enjoy.

'And always remember! this is the most efficient form of folding, and it can leave you much time to accomplish other important chores!' The Pearl spoke of itself as nothing more than a chore-doer. 'Did you get all that, Rosaline?' And, thanks to her assignment here on Earth, she thought she was a teacher, too.

'Who exactly would I be serving?' Rosaline asked. 'A Human or a gem? Do I need to know this?'

'At the current moment in time, what happens after this program is undetermined, so you're training should be open to whatever possible futures may follow after. You know this.' The Pearl that spoke to Rosaline was tall, much like she'd heard other pearls were. She had shot gray hair that stopped just before her shoulders, and parted neatly at her brown to expose her large eyes and nose. Her gemstone sat on her left shoulder, and looked not too disimilar to the one on Rosaline's own forehead. 'And, what should a Pearl such as yourself not do, Rosaline?'

'Oh, Uh, I think the answer's 'ask questions', but you just did that yourself, soo...'

She spoke with a twinge of arrogance. 'Yes, because I am not a pearl such as yourself - I am a fully functioning pearl who does exactly what she's told and never speaks back. Unlike you - A Human Pearl! How ghastly.' Rosaline guessed any Pearl would act like this, given the chance to mentor a lesser version of herself. When would a Pearl normally get that chance? Would... Would Rosaline ever get that chance?

Rosaline folded a tshirt as pearl watched over her. She came across a t-shirt that portrayed a large snake with bulging eyes. This belonged to... Nora. She put it in the 'Nora' pile, after a brief hiccup in which she apparently 'folded it too harshly'. Rosaline wished she could be any of the other gem hybrids. Nora, another such human-gem hybrid in this weird experiment, was an Amethyst, and - as Rosaline looked out the window, she was a happy Amethyst.

A regular Amethyst guard flung the fifteen year old into the air, Nora travelling hundreds of feet before falling down safely into the arms of the other Amethyst. 'Amethyst Training', they called it. Yeah, sure. They totally weren't just fucking around and having fun.

She sighed, folding a black band t-shirt with 'Sadie Killer and the Suspects' written on with edgy ghosts and tombstones in the background. The t-shirt had a teardrop-shaped hole in the back, and such, Rosaline concluded it belonged to Freddie, The Lapis Lazuli hybrid. He'd recently mastered the summoning of his water wings at the price of soaking his t-shirt with constant streams of water. This was his solution, and might Rosaline add - if she was allowed - not a bad one.

'Why does everyone else get to experience the human feelings of enjoyment, Pearl?'

'They're not having fun, Rosaline, they're training. If they're enjoying it, that's just a human side effect, and, regardless of what it is, it's beneficial to their training.'

'You're telling me that's training?' She asked, pointing out the window at the Amethysts playing catch with Nora.

'Oh, those darn Amethysts can't be serious for a second! Continue folding, I'll be back shortly.'

'Yes, my pearl.' Rosaline mocked in a high pitched voice.

Pearl gave her a look and stopped walking. She stood, waiting.

Rosaline sighed with reluctance. 'Yes, My Pearl'

'You don't belong to me, so I'm not 'Your Pearl', But you should still refrain from mocking me.'

'Yes, Pearl. Forgive me.'

As she left the house, Freddie and Dug approached, having been watching from the living room for... Rosaline didn't want to think for how long.

'That - now that was fucking painful to watch.' Dug started. 'Like, a lot painful.'

Rosaline shrugged. 'I'm a Pearl. I'll get used to it.'

'Hey, there's my shirt!' Freddie - still mid air - took his shirt off, dropping the soaked fabric to the floor. He snatched the band tee from the stack of washing and slipped it over his head.. 'I probably can't do this without putting my wings away, huh?'

'Nah I'm sure you can' Dug laughed.

'Why do you -' Freddie spoke as he wriggled the t-shirt over his neck, the fabric of his t-shirt flirting with the water of his wings. 'Have to do all this boring shit? It's going to make you-' his wings suddenly shut off as he fell to the floor. When he rises again, the t-shirt is on. 'a boring person.'

'Well, I'm not a person. I'm a human-gem hybrid, and I'm supposed to be a Pearl.'

Freddie tilted his head and thought for a moment. 'You need to chill out.'

'Yes, perhaps my human mind and form is providing too much stress for my human brain to handle. Perhaps I could do with a human-break?'

'Come hang with us at the skatepark!' Dug said. 'I invented a new trick. I call it: the Fire Ollie.'

'Don't be too impressed' Started Freddie. 'It's literally an Ollie, but he does this thing with his feet where he sets the board on fire. I'm usually the one that puts it out. He hasn't given himself any serious burns.'

'Yet.' Dug added.

'Yet.' Freddie confirmed.

'No, I'd love to accompany you, but... Pearl would not allow it.'

'Fuck pearl!' Dug exclaimed. 'Just get one of the Amethysts to shapeshift and cover for you. That's gotta work, right?'

'No. Pearl would notice. The difference in hue would make it quite obvious.'

'It's a joke, duuuuude. Well, if you wanna come see my bust some sick moves, and understand jokes more, you know where to find us. Come on Freddie, Let's-a-go!'

'I'll catch up with you dude, I'm gonna help Rosa here with the dishes. Water is kiiiind of my thing.'

'Fine, I'll just burn to death if things go wrong.'

'Sounds great.'

As Dug skated out the house, Freddie sprayed water from the tap into Rosaline's face.

'Hey!'

'Come oooon. Come hang with us!'

'I can't, Pearl -'

'Who cares! Look. Pearl is an alien. Yes, one of the Aliens overseeing our existence - but running away from laundry duty is what normal human kids do all the time! She's not going to react to a misbehaving kid as if you were a traitorous gem for... not doing the laundry! If you'd just think of yourself as a human teenager for a minute, you could have so much more fun! If you're a human teenager - which, remember, you sort of are - this would not be a big deal. at all.'

'But I... I think this is really important. To Pearl. It's important to pearl that I become the best version I can be, and so...'

'Come on, Rosy, your Pearl's showing.'

Rosaline opened her mouth to retort, but laughed. 'Alright. I'm feeling like a little humanity could be good for me. Let's go see this Fire Ollie.'

While Rosaline had to admit riding on a literal flaming skateboard was pretty hardcore, the presence of Dug's human friends was a little... Uncomfortable. It's not that she didn't like humans, just - she had never said anything more to one than in passing. Rosaline sat with Freddie and Dug's human friend. He wore a black tshirt, spray painted onto it in white, the words: 'MY NAME IS RAFAEL'.

Rafael addressed Rafael, as Dug finished his seventh consecutive Fire Ollie. 'Alright, Freddio! the Fly-Guy.'

'Sup leggy'

'Not-' Rafael seemed shocked but burst out laughing. 'You can't just call everyone who walks 'leggy' '

'Well, I kind of can, kind of just did, so I kind of will.'

'Anyway. Nice wings. You've gotta have some cool skate moves.'

'Ha, I can fly. I could skate, yeah, if I wanted to - but flying's cooler.'

'Just fly with the skateboard then! It'll be sick.'

'Alright, alright. Not a bad idea, If I can upstage Dug at his own game, that makes me pretty fucking cool.' Freddie's wings shook as he lifted into the air.

'The Name's Freddie by the way - buuuuut I kind of like Fly-Guy better, if I'm being totally honest.'

'Nice to meet ya, I'm -'

'I know what your name is, leggy.'

Rafael snorted. 'Sure you do.'

Freddie swooped over to Dug, and Rosaline shifted her attention to herself. Her heart rate increased - she knew enough about humans to know that usually meant she held romantic feelings for the one she was with, but - that was Rafael, a human she didn't even know. She concluded perhaps it wasn't the human concept she'd originally though. It was something more along the lines of 'I've never met this human in my life - I've never met ANY human in my life and now I'm ALL ALONE with this human.'

'So, what should I call you?' Rafael asked, breaking Rosaline's train of thought.

'Rosalina. Is my... chosen name. But I'm a Pearl, so there's no need to distinguish me.'

'Yeah, but you're also a human, right?'

'Yes, in a way. It's... very complex. not something a human could understand.'

'Riiight.'

The two watched as Dug made his way back over and Freddie did some totally sick manoeuvres with the skateboard - doing ramps and putting his feet under the board, his wings erupting out as he lifted into the air, showing up Dug with multiple flips and barrel rolls. A... lot of barrel rolls.

'No lie, this is pretty sick.' Rafael said.

'Pshh. He's just flying. Yeah, sure - he's an impressive flyer, but he's not skating!'

'Ha, whatevs, Dug, you just salty. It looks cool.'

'Yeah, It sorta does.' Dug admitted. He turned to Rafael. 'So When's Rafael getting here?'

He snorted in a laugh. 'As far as your brother and sister are concerned, he's already here.'

Rosalina tried to piece the puzzle together in her mind.

'So... you're not Rafael?' She asked.

'Nope' Said... the human wearing the Rafael t-shirt.

'Your other friend is called Rafael.'

'Yep.'

'And that's his t-shirt?'

'Nope.'

'I don't understand.'

'Rosalina, you'll understand in a bit.' Dug said. 'Speaking off, though, Rafael's just about here.' The new human approached the group, his eyes on Freddie and his skate-flight tricks.

'So your siblings got powers too... dude, hate to say this, but his power's kind of cooler than yours.'

'Psh, as if you wouldn't give your life for my powers anyway.'

'True. Only for the convenience though, might I say.' He raised his eyebrow and index finger as he said this. He wiggled his finger dangerously close to Dug's face. 'Speaking of 'finger'-'

'No one said finger.' Dug said blankly. Rafael (The supposedly real one) and Dug stared at each other briefly, accumulating into Rafael moving his finger slightly to boop Dug on the nose. The two burst out laughing.

'Speaking of finger, may I-' Rafael continued

'Yeah yeah, go for it.' Dug held his hand out, fingers softly spread apart.

Rafael held onto his hand and flicked his thumb with his, as if it were a lighter. he feigned clicking noises, until on the third attempt, a small flame emmitted from Dug's finger. The two of them held big grins on their faces, almost laughing. Rafael reached into his pocket and pulled out what Rosalina could only guess was a cigarette.

'So your brother and sister getting high with us?'

Rosalina guessed it was not a cigarette.