I am officially declaring September to the the month of 'matriarchs/happier times'. Get involved by writing and/or commenting aon awesome stories about your favourite asari matriarchs before the galaxy went to hell and back! Samara, back in her merc days! Benezia and Aethyta, still together! Aria the... proto-Aria!
This is pretty much a direct sequel to An Unusual Legacy, though I don't think that the context is entirely necessary. May rot teeth in places.
With thanks to RJ Ames.
An Important Lesson
"'Biotic'," she said slowly, drawing out the word, "means 'life'."
When she opened her eyes, she found Liara frozen mid-creep, her expression equal parts guilty and awestruck. Benezia smiled inwardly. Her daughter had been trying so very hard to be quiet that her entrance had, quite perversely, made considerably more noise than it ought otherwise have done. Liara was not normally allowed into this section of the house without Benezia, Shiala or one of the senior commandos at her side; to enter the gym, without permission, even knowing her mother waited within, was an act of some daring for Benezia's typically obedient daughter.
Of course, Liara was not to know how audible her approach was to someone whose ears were attuned to disruption, discord. Nor was she to know of the warning call sent not ten minutes before by the girl's tutor of the day. It was, after all, a mother's prerogative to appear mysteriously omniscient. It was not Benezia's fault if she was, perhaps, a little too good at it.
"Myna let me go early," Liara said by means of explanation, planting her hovering foot back on the ground, glancing down at it then back up at Benezia hopefully. "She said that getting anything done with me today was impossible. It's not true though. We were looking at weather patterns. But there's no weather today. It's all clear. I don't know how you can learn about weather when there isn't any."
By all accounts, Liara had spoken about little other than this lesson all week. No doubt she'd been insufferable in her excitement this morning, knowing what awaited her in the afternoon. In truth, Benezia had rather been looking forward to the start of their lessons herself. She taught biotic control on a regular basis, certainly, but advanced techniques to acolytes and commandos already at least somewhat practiced in the arts. Never did she teach from first principles. Never to one so young. And certainly never before to her own daughter.
The hidden smile found her lips, and she held out a beckoning hand.
"Come. Sit."
Liara scampered over and was soon seated atop Benezia's right leg, settled comfortably against her, as Benezia herself sat, cross-legged upon the cushioned floor.
"'Biotic'," she repeated with slow deliberation, "means 'life'. Yet we use it as a word to describe our ability to manipulate the concentration of element zero and the flow of energy in our bodies in order to generate mass effect fields. To lift and catch and shield and meld. Why is that?"
"Because... it is life?" Liara, from her perch atop Benezia's thigh, bit her lip and looked back up at Benezia for approval. "For us?"
"Yes," Benezia smiled again, well pleased.
Liara might have been shy and hesitant around others, but she was a bright little thing. It was not just a mother's pride saying so: Liara consistently excelled in her studies, no matter the subject, exhaustively exploring a topic of interest until she mastered it - or, increasingly, her tutors grew weary of her constant questions and sought other distractions. She read well, too, advanced for her age and voracious, to the point that Benezia had been forced to relocate several of the more fragile, esoteric and erotic volumes in her library to the uppermost shelves, well out of reach, even from a child who climbed like a pyjack. Few understood why she kept paper books in the first place, ephemeral as they were, but Benezia had always liked the physicality of such artefacts. The weight of history, the echoes of previous owners beneath her fingers, writ small in stains and tears and notations in the margins.
"Our ancient ancestors saw biotic ability as a physical manifestation of the soul. Later, we called it the breath of Athame, a blessing from the Goddess herself to help protect us from our enemies. As we grew more advanced, we came to realise that the very air we breathed is laced with element zero, and that we had evolved to use the electricity of our bodies to generate mass effect fields. I know you've studied some of this."
When Liara nodded her understanding, Benezia continued:
"In siari, we see our biotic abilities as extensions of our connection to the greater universe and to each other. This connection allows us to manipulate the fundamental forces of what we perceive to be reality, and to reach out and touch the minds of others."
She hesitated momentarily, debating whether or not to explain the significance of that in more detail, and decided against it. Liara would come to faith in her own way, in her own time - or not at all, as the case might be. A promise to Aethyta that she had, to her own surprise, little trouble keeping.
"Regardless of whether we view it through the lens of faith or science, it is the life force for asari. Biotics are as vital to us as breathing. Without sufficient element zero in our bodies, we cannot regulate our nervous systems. We sicken, and may even die. Our ability to meld is also dependant on eezo. If we cannot meld, we cannot have daughters, and with no daughters, our people have no future."
"But I know people who don't have biotics," Liara interrupted quickly. "Dalluma Hiritus doesn't."
"Ambassador Hiritus," Benezia said, stressing the title, "is a turian. Turians do not need biotics to live, as we asari do. In fact, turians with biotic abilities are very, very rare. It is the same for the salarians, the elcor, the drell, and every other species we have encountered so far. We are the exception."
"What about Matron T'Kyo? She doesn't know how to use biotics. She told me once. And she has two daughters, and they don't know how to either."
"They have biotics, even if they do not know how to use them. Think of your heart," Benezia said, taking Liara's hand to place it over the girl's chest, holding it in place with her own. Benezia could feel the tiny muscle beat quick and strong beneath her fingers. "You rarely do, do you?"
"No..?" Liara said, uncertainly.
"No," Benezia replied firmly. "Your heart works on its own. It beats faster when you run and slower when you sleep, all without you needing to tell it what to do. And that is well and good, because if you needed to tell it what to do for it to work, you would think of little else, would you?"
"I guess so," Liara frowned, thinking it over. "If you stopped thinking about it, it would stop. And if it stopped-"
"Yes. You would die."
She moved Liara's hand over to rest above her own heart.
"But you can learn to tell what to do sometimes, if you wish. It is difficult, and can be dangerous, and it takes many, many years of practice, but you may eventually learn to make your heart beat slower or faster as you wish, rather than letting it decide for you how fast it will go."
As she said the words, she closed her eyes, then took in and released a long, slow breath. Emptying her mind of other distractions with the ease of long practice, she found and focused on the unhurried beat of her heart, allowing the rate to drop further still, low enough and long enough for it to be noticeable.
"And there may be times," she said slowly as she breathed out, "in your life when you would find that ability useful. It may even save your life."
Benezia had been shot, once, before she'd allowed herself to be guarded by anyone, even Aethyta. The perils of being a public figure. The bullet had nicked an artery in her leg. The world had gone so still and quiet, it was as though she were frozen in time. Calm had come easily, in a dreamy kind of way-
"Mother?"
Opening her eyes, allowing her heartbeat and breathing to pick back up again, she smiled reassuringly down at her wide-eyed daughter.
"I'm fine, Little Wing." When Liara looked unconvinced, she added: "Truly. It is an old technique, and safe enough."
"Could I do that?"
"You may learn one day, if you wish," she said, releasing her daughter's hand; Liara did not immediately move it away. "But do you understand what I mean?"
"I think so. Everyone has biotics, but it takes ages to learn to use them so some people don't? And it doesn't usually matter because it usually just works for what they need it to anyway?"
"A simplification, but yes, that is the essence of it."
They sat in silence for a short time, Benezia waiting patiently as Liara formulated a new question.
"If it's like your heart," Liara began slowly, "can you make it stronger? Shiala says she runs every day to make her heart strong."
This time it was a sigh Benezia hid rather than a smile. Liara all but idolised their stoic head of security and dogged her footsteps whenever she could. For all Shiala's protestations that she did not mind keeping an eye on the child, Benezia could not help but worry that it was an imposition that only grew as Liara did. But what else could she do, if not entrust Liara to the members of her household when they professed willing? She had not bargained on having so little free time, when electing to conceive. She had not bargained on not having Aethyta here, for their daughter to idolise and trail after and learn the basics of physical defence from.
The all-too familiar ache surfaced at the thought, squeezing her chest. She pushed it aside. There was no going back from some things.
"You can, yes, in much the same way. Shiala has run almost every day for four hundred years; you know for yourself that her heart and the rest of her body are very strong. I have practiced my biotics every day for almost seven hundred years; I am a very strong biotic as a result."
"Can you show me?"
"Perhaps later. For now, I would like to see what you can do."
Uncertainty bloomed once again across Liara's face, with an edge close to panic.
"But I don't know- What do I do, Mother?"
Benezia moved Liara then, from her perch upon Benezia's leg and into her lap, so that her back was against Benezia's chest.
"Remember our meditation practice. Close your eyes. Relax. Breathe in... and out. Good. Again."
She waited until Liara had found a rhythm for herself, much faster than Benezia's own. They had practiced meditation on a few occasions before, true, when Liara had professed an interest, but the girl was young and full of the energy of youth, and found it hard to sit still for any length of time.
"Feel the flow of energy in your body."
There was a quiet moment, broken only by the sounds of their breathing. But it was not truly long at all before Liara began to fidget, losing her carefully constructed rhythm, and mere seconds after that did she twist back around to look back up at Benezia, her face a mixture of disappointment and frustration.
"I'm sorry, Mother, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. How do you feel energy?"
Benezia smiled ruefully; first principles were first principles.
"Don't be sorry - I should have been more clear. I will show you," she said, taking Liara's hands and folding them within her own. "But you must meet me halfway."
"But-"
"It is another form of exercise, Little Wing. And you've done this before, several times, remember? We are all connected in this universe, you and I most of all. Relax, open your mind to mine and I will find you."
After another moment of doubt, Liara closed her eyes again, scrunched up her face and reached. After a few seconds, Benezia felt the buzz of connection through her hands, and the uncertain brush of her daughter's mind against her own. She reached out herself, through her barriers, to complete the connection between them. Liara's bright spirit instantly spilled over into hers, an unfocused, buzzing whirlwind of thought and sensation, awash with nervous excitement and underlaid, as always with these melds between them, with a kind of wondering awe at the closeness shared. Benezia enveloped her daughter briefly with the love she felt for her, her pride in all that Liara was and had achieved, and the sense of pleasant anticipation she had felt when thinking of this lesson. Liara flared with happiness in response, and tried to draw in closer, flooding the link with a torrent of fleeting thoughts and fuzzy images of her day, her days past and even imagined happenings. Childish chatter, for the most part, backed by an overwhelming desire to share.
On another day, Benezia might have indulged her longer, even until the point that a headache threatened, but sharing was not the point of today's lesson. Withdrawing, Benezia sent gently chiding thought and Liara reluctantly drew her own self back to a more proper distance, abashed but still excited. Satisfied by this demonstration of control, Benezia rewarded her with a favourite memory from Benezia's own childhood, one she judged might soothe Liara into relative calm: sitting with her own mother - the grandmother Liara would never meet but through these melds - in their grey little apartment in Tis, listening to the rain drum against the windows while being read to from the Emathiapania. Drowsy and content and loved.
And, while Liara was so distracted, Benezia took a moment to check over her barriers and examine her mental landscape for signs of distress or damage. She found no such signs, but she did encounter several new, unexpected barriers - barriers that Benezia had not helped Liara build. Walls around things, Benezia realised, with a pang of hurt that bordered on grief, that her daughter did not want anyone to see. Including her.
She portioned off and buried the feelings of sorrow and loss as quickly as she could. She might choose to reflect upon them at some point in the future, but right now it would not do to make Liara feel guilty or uncomfortable over what was a natural, necessary part of her development. Daughters were allowed to have secrets from their mothers, however much mothers might wish that they didn't. It was an inevitable part of growing older. Growing up.
Growing apart.
When the memory of days long past came to a natural ending point, Benezia cut it off and recaptured her daughter's wandering attention. She directed it, then, to one of the new, flimsy barriers she had found, heading off Liara's guilty start with all of the acceptance she could find within herself. Reassured, Liara allowed herself to be led in the shoring up of the construct, until it was as solid as the others they had built together. She would leave Liara to do the rest. Perhaps one day Liara would show her what lay behind them of her own accord; until then she would not pry.
Benezia then turned their attention outward, away from the mental, to focus on the physical. A heightened awareness of her own body settled over her, from the drift of air currents against her skin to the slight discomfort of sitting with an unaccustomed weight atop her, then to the breath in her lungs and the beat of her heart. Turning that focus in deeper still, she found the white-hot fire burning along her spine, her neck, and at the base of her skull. They followed that fire, together, as she allowed it to flow into her shoulders and down her arms, igniting smaller blazes as it went, gathering strength with each passing moment, until it reached her hands where it began to pool, like water held back by a dam. Then, carefully, so carefully, she let the fire flow out.
When they opened their eyes, a brilliant ball of white and blue energy hovered between their in-turned hands. Benezia gently severed the meld, drawing her hands away to rest on her thighs, and then watched, with considerable pride, as the ball remained, though greatly diminished. There was relief, too, to go with the pride: she had been careful with her diet throughout her pregnancy, and both she and Aethyta were gifted biotics, but there had been no way to tell if that had bred true until now. Most untried children Liara's age would struggle to maintain a sphere half the size, even with their mother's help.
Liara herself stared down at the sphere with rapt fascination, then abruptly seemed to realise what she was doing. The ball collapsed an instant later.
She looked at the empty space between her hands, then twisted back around to look up at Benezia.
"I did it!" she said, looking and sounding more surprised than anything else.
"Of course you did," Benezia agreed, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Can you do it again, do you think? Without me, this time?"
Liara nodded and immediately turned back to refocus her attention on the space between her hands, screwing her face up with effort, hunching forward.
"Relax, Little Wing," Benezia said with some amusement, gently correcting what she was coming to recognise as her daughter's 'thinking' posture. "Remember what we just did. You are not trying to force the energy out." She placed a hand on Liara's back and pushed gently forward for emphasis. "You are looking for it. Once you find it, it will flow of its own accord."
She moved her hands to Laria's shoulders, ran them down her arms and again collected her hands, setting them in the proper position before letting them go. Liara glanced back up over at her one more time, before settling back down to try again. Benezia felt her begin to relax by inches, leaning back against her, her breathing slowing down, though the frown of concentration still marred her face. Then, just as Benezia was beginning to wonder if she needed to lead her through the exercise again, a ball of energy slowly coalesced between Liara's hands. It was small and wan and uneven, and vanished almost the moment Liara opened her eyes, but it was there.
Benezia smiled as Liara glanced back up at her once more, delight clear upon her face, and then turned back to try again. The ball formed more quickly and more coherently this time, though still tiny in comparison to the one created with Benezia's help. The third attempt lasted perhaps two seconds longer, and the fourth longer again.
She was a quick learner, this daughter of hers. Benenzia should have expected no less, but the pride at the realisation was undiminished.
"I think that's enough for today," Benezia said, after the fifth such successful attempt.
"But Mother-"
"'But' there will be plenty of time to practice later." When Liara's face fell, Benezia took care to soften her tone. "Using biotics takes a great deal of energy, Liara, more than you would think. There's still half the day ahead, and I don't want you wearing yourself out completely. You've done very well."
"Really?"
"Yes. I'm extremely proud of you."
Seconds later, she was enveloped in as tight a hug as such small arms could manage, Liara tucking her head beneath Benezia's chin. Benezia wrapped her arms around her in return.
"Thank you, Mother," Liara said, voice slightly muffled.
Benezia chuckled.
"You are quite welcome, dearest heart. You will practice every morning before breakfast for fifteen minutes, no more, no less."
"Yes, Mother," Liara said, releasing her. "Will you show me now?"
"Show you?"
"You said before. That you are very strong. Can I see?"
Benezia gave this request some consideration. The gym was designed for biotic practice, true, with strengthened foundations, dampeners in the walls and padding on the floors and ceiling, but much of what Benezia taught indoors was, by necessity, fine control and other refinements of technique. Most of the weights here were small as a result, and any demonstration of skill unlikely to be as much a spectacle such as her daughter evidently desired. Still, she realised, looking at her daughter's hopefully expectant face, there was another option. It would not necessarily be spectacular, but she imagined Liara would at least find it novel.
"Very well," she said and rose, absently brushing the non-existent dust from her gi. "You will need to stand on the training mat."
Liara obeyed immediately, all but tripping over her own feet in her haste to reach the indicated spot. There, she shifted her weight from foot to foot, almost bouncing on the spot. Almost always in motion, this daughter of hers, into and out of trees, the pool and the ponds, racing along the lawns, cutting a swath through the fresh-turned earth - all much to the ongoing dismay of Fedlimia, their groundskeeper. Apparently it was quite common at this age, for all it seemed exhausting for everyone concerned.
"Are you ready?" she asked, completing a quick limbering exercise of her own.
At Liara's nod, she relaxed into the abia stance. The energy of her body came at the call, the pleasant hum of biotic potential beneath her skin. As an afterthought, she let some of that energy flare out - a waste of it, really, and indication of poor control she would not normally tolerate from her students, but it was showy. Then, delicately, so delicately, she wrapped her daughter in an energy field and lifted her up off the ground, until her crests almost brushed the ceiling.
Liara's squeal of surprise descended into giggles just as quickly, and Benezia smiled.
"Mother!" Liara shouted between fits of laughter. "I didn't mean use me!"
"No?"
"No! It tickles!"
"It can't possibly tickle," Benezia countered easily, lowering her a couple of feet and pulling her closer. "You told me that you weren't ticklish anymore."
"I'm not!" Liara laughed. "Put me down!"
Benezia's own laughter was threatening to surface, colouring her voice.
"Are you sure?" she asked, continuing to reel Liara in towards her. "You seem very ticklish to me."
"Yes!"
"What's the magic word..?"
"Mo-therrr!"
"No, I don't think that's it."
"Pleeeeease!"
Benezia let her daughter drop into her waiting arms. But she'd forgotten - again - just how much Liara weighed these days; unprepared, she staggered back slightly until her slippered heel caught the edge of the meditation mat. Her biotics flared for real this time, on reflex to arrest their fall, but she still hit the mat hard, followed by an extremely undignified 'oomph' as Liara landed on Benezia's ribs, all but winding her in the processes. A wheezing Benezia was immediately glad none of her students or guards were present to see it.
Liara, her laughter and indignation momentarily forgotten, looked down at Benezia with concern.
"I'm fine," Benezia said somewhat breathlessly, waving the concern away as she sat up. "Truly."
The worried look didn't immediately abate at her assurance. Liara could be far too serious, at times, for one so young. Sometimes, when they were together, it seemed as though she were actively waiting for something to go wrong. Looking down into those concerned eyes, Benezia decided that drastic action might be required.
"But we'd best make sure that you are too," she continued slyly.
Her hands dove to Liara's sides before the girl could react, seeking out the spots that Benezia knew - despite her daughter's protests to the contrary - were the most ticklish. Liara shrieked with sudden laughter once more, and tried to squirm away from the touch, but her flailing only succeeded in bringing other areas into reach.
"No fair!" Liara exclaimed breathlessly as she finally wriggled free and to her feet. Her eyes sparkled with indignation anew, but laughter too.
"No?" Benezia smirked. She unfolded her legs, linked her hands over her crests and allowed herself to lay back upon the padded meditation mat, closing her eyes. "Not everything in life is fair, Little Wing."
"Why not?"
Benezia sighed. How did one explain the complexities of the galaxy to one so young? When the answers alluded even the greatest of scholars and scientists? Fortunately, millennia of accumulated, distilled parental wisdom came to her aid in her moment of need.
"Because."
"Because what?"
"Because."
"That's not a real answer." A pout, by the tone.
"I know," she replied evenly, opening her eyes just enough so she could see to stretch and poke Liara in the belly with one lazily extended foot. "But I'm afraid it's the only one you're getting for the moment."
Closing her eyes again, letting her leg drop, she was surprised when Liara dove on top of her, nearly winding her for the second time in as many minutes. But she had to laugh as her daughter tried to replicate Benezia's actions of seconds before, small hands seeking out her sides, her armpits and elbows, to little avail.
"Try all you like," she said, propping herself up on her elbows momentarily, "but I'm afraid I am not ticklish."
"They why are you laughing?"
"Because you amuse me greatly, child of mine."
Liara stuck out tongue.
"Everyone's ticklish somewhere. I bet it's your feet!"
"Bet as you wish," Benezia said, resuming her supine position. "You will have no greater success."
Liara found her right foot and quickly wrestled her slipper off, holding it aloft triumphantly before casting it aside. Seconds later, Benezia found her foot being attacked by small hands. Centuries of practice, when it came to controlling the workings of her mind and body, let her not pull away from the touch, to put the sensation out of her mind. Liara may well have been right that everyone was ticklish somewhere, but that did not mean Benezia had to confirm for anyone, even her daughter, exactly where she was so.
"I told you," she said evenly as Liara finally, mercifully let her foot drop.
"That's not-"
They both froze as Benezia's omni-tool pinged in the sequence used by her political secretary, and then pinged again in the sequence for urgent. Benezia's heart sank, even as she she accepted the call. The face of Nimtere swam into view, anxious eyes framed by bold white stripes.
"Matriarch, I'm so very sorry. I know you didn't want to be disturbed this afternoon but you also wanted to know if Proposition 7732 was tabled. It was, two hours ago. The floor has been opened for comment, and initial remarks have already concluded."
"What? Now?" Benezia said, sitting up quickly. "I'd thought Lidanya was still on deployment."
"Evidently she thought it was important enough to take leave."
"I imagine that she thought it was important enough to try to slip it under our radar," Benezia muttered dryly. "Have the others been alerted?"
"Yes, Matriarch. They are mobilising as we speak. Matriarch Gaiana has logged on and will attempt to keep them pinned down until you arrive. She's, um, the one who said we should get you. However, we've not been able to get in touch with Matriarch Efimia. Her aids have not responded to our calls."
"Effy is supposed to be on vacation," Benezia sighed, rising the rest of the way to her feet. On vacation, in much the same way Benezia was supposed to have a few quiet hours alone with her daughter. "I will call her myself shortly. Please contact Matriarchs Suhlos and Kamalia and inform them that I expect their support in opposing this measure."
"Yes, Matriarch."
"And," she glanced over at Liara, "find Mayna and have her meet us in the gym."
"Mayna is already on her way. Dinny is laying out a selection of clothing for you, and I'll send a summary of debate so far to your office terminal."
"Thank you, Nim," she said. "Excellent work as always."
"To serve is my honour, Matriarch."
When Benezia closed the connection, she found herself standing in a gymnasium that seemed colder, somehow, and larger too, devoid of the warmth and laughter it had possessed just seconds before. Liara stood before her, her shoulders slumped, the slipper she had wrested from Benezia's foot in her hands.
"I'm sorry, Little Wing, but I-"
"You have to go. It's ok," Liara said quietly, looking down at her feet. "It's important. I understand."
The look on her face, the dejection in her tone made it all too-evident that Liara's words of understanding were little more than lies intended to make Benezia feel better about her impending departure. They did not succeeded. She had, after all, been looking forward to this afternoon as much as her daughter had.
She knelt back down before Liara so that they were on eye level, taking her gently by the shoulders.
"You are important too, Liara," she said, ducking her head to try to catch her daughter's downcast eyes. "You know that, yes?"
"I know," Liara said, still not meeting her gaze. "Here's your shoe back."
"Thank you," she said solemnly, and took the offered footwear. Behind her, she heard the gym door open. Slipper still in hand, she rose to greet the newcomer: Mayna. The matron wore a green dress a bright but slightly anxious smile as she approached them, bowing respectfully to Benezia before she turned her attention to Liara.
"Why don't you and I go down to the river, Liara?" she said cheerfully. "I heard that there's a festival on in one of the parks. We could listen to some music, and maybe find some spun sugar candy. How does that sound?"
"Ok," Liara replied quietly, and took the hand that Mayna offered her without further comment.
The look Mayna gave Benezia was slightly pleading; Benezia found she had little to offer.
"That sounds wonderful. But see Shiala before you go, please. I imagine it will be crowded enough to merit an escort."
"Of course, auma."
"I will come and read to you tonight, Liara" she said to her daughter, trying to catch her eyes again and finally succeeding. "I promise."
"Ok."
Benezia watched them go, hand in hand, out the door and down the hall, Mayna taking care to match her steps to Liara's slower ones, talking all the while about the festival in a valiant effort to raise her spirits again. Another whose good nature Benezia had cause to wonder if she wasn't abusing with babysitting duties.
Beyond them, Benezia could see a group of her staff and students waiting for her, chattering with each other, all no doubt eager to get their defence underway. Benezia couldn't find such enthusiasm within herself. She could, however, find anger. A few hours without interruption was all she had wanted - was that so very much to ask?
Evidently it was.
With a frustrated sigh, she steeled herself, and, head held high, set out, in her own quiet way, to wage war: if nothing else, she would make Lidyana rue the interruption this day.
Immensely.
'Emathiapania' is taken from a story of the same name on the kmeme, giving an extract of a Mahabharata-style epic about the mythic origins of the primordial asari republics. It is damned awesome and you should go read it now at goo. gl/ 6yQc5j