Disclaimer: I own none of the cartoons used within.
This crossover maybe should be in a different section than Cartoon X-Overs... there sure are a lot of fandoms, and they're not all cartoons. Mainly the only fandoms you should worry about are Death Note, Calvin and Hobbes, Danny Phantom, One Piece, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, Avenue Q, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Fairly OddParents, Kim Possible, Ed Edd n' Eddy, Azumanga Daioh, Blues Brothers, and some others... various web cartoons... and a couple graphic novels, including Persepolis and the more obscure Ariel Schrag books, such as Definition and Potential.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Let's see... let me think of other obligatory comments to make sure that if you yell at me later it makes me justified and you ignorant. Heehaw, just kidding. Yeah-up. It's rated T for some swearing, rather graphic moments (more later), and other general adult themes. The tone of the story switches between lighter and darker, but I would say it generally keeps a dark overtone - the humor is more just to make sure that it doesn't later become an all-consuming black hole.
I mean no offense to those who have mental afflictions or know those that do. This isn't even really based on any real type of therapeutic setting.
Usual writer's drill... I accept any type of review... I especially love concrit. You can flame or complain if you want to.
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Chapter 1.
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Light cautiously opened the door and looked inside before entering. Inside he saw two beds with wooden frames, pleasant yellow floral-pattern wallpaper, green carpet, two armoires, two desks, two night tables, a little boy with spiky yellow hair, and a stuffed tiger the boy was clutching.
"Hi," Light smiled at his roommate. "My name is Light. Light Yagami." He put his suitcase down and made his way over to shake hands. His roommate was considerably younger than him, but this was no reason not to be polite.
A slight hesitation before he met Light's hand. "I'm Calvin…" He held up the tiger. "And this is Hobbes."
Light nodded, playing along. "How do you do, Hobbes?"
"Shake his paw."
Light's smile faltered a bit. "Alright."
Calvin watched with great intensity as Light shook Hobbes' hand before he moved to start unpacking. Even though Light turned his back to him for the time being, he could feel the boy sizing him up. "So, Calvin, how long have you been here?"
"About a year."
"Hm. Do you like it here?"
"Not really."
"That's a pity. Why not?"
"Too stuffy. It's all well-decorated, I don't like that. Plus it feels forced." He paused to do some sort of fiddling that little kids do when they get upset. "And get this! No one treats Hobbes like a real tiger! I don't get it, don't they know that he could rip 'em to shreds if he weren't so polite?"
"Maybe they just want to seem like they have a handle on the situation. They don't want him to see they're scared." Light walked over to his dresser and began putting his clothes on hangers as he added up Calvin's situation. "Tigers can smell fear, can't they?" He was pondering how having an imaginary friend was grounds to send a kid to this type of place. Obviously they had barely met.
Calvin nodded, probably happy that someone finally got it. "So, why are you here?"
"Calvin!" A light feminine voice said from the doorway. The girl was a picture of perfect peppiness; white boots, yellow dress, flower in her hot pink hair. She had a rainbow-colored can of soda called Posmic. "You shouldn't ask someone that on their first day. I mean, you barely know him."
"Yeah, I mean, you are pretty intimidating, what, with that tiger and all," The other girl's voice was more grating and sarcastic. She and the other girl stood in the same way, side by side, but this girl was a sharp contrast: bluish-purple hair, spiky jewelry, a blue skull shirt, combat boots. Her can of pop was day-glo yellow and read Lemon Squash American.
"Yumi…" The pink one elbowed her in the ribs.
"Ami…" She whined, imitating her.
"Hey, you'll see one day!" Calvin snapped. "You'll be sorry. Hobbes is just restraining his tiger instincts for my sake!" Yumi snickered. "One day he just won't be able to hold back and you'll be sorry."
"Didja hear that, new guy?" Yumi's cold blue eyes and thick black eyeliner locked on Light. "We'll be sorry!"
Ami ignored the bickering and walked over to link her arm in Light's. "Come on, we'll give you a tour!" She dragged him out the door and Yumi kicked it shut. The long hallway had mahogany wood paneling, lush red carpet, and watercolors lining it.
The two led him all the way down to where the hall began. "There are two hallways for bedrooms. This is the guys' hallway. Unfortunately for us, you're right next to the bathrooms. So unfair! Oh, sorry, what's your name? I'm Ami."
"I'm Light."
"Yumi," The other one waved her hand.
Light was going to ask another small talk question, but Ami squealed. "Yay! Tour time!" She swung his arm a bit. He couldn't help noticing how Yumi seemed more interested in her can's nutritional information than the tour and decided he liked Yumi better right now.
Ami plowed forth. "If you'll look directly to your left, that is room one. We call him Freaky Fred. Don't worry, he doesn't mind. We hear he's a barber, but he won't cut anyone's hair. He always walks around with hair-cutting stuff, though. He says he's naughty."
Yumi accented this with a little 'cuckoo' whistle. "Probably got here by going Sweeney Todd all over someone's butt, know what I mean?" Then she looked to her right. "Room two. Jake and Elwood Bluuueeees." She stretched out the last name so she could make a full eye roll while saying it. "They think they're cool 'cause they wear suits, the same suits every day I may add, and sunglasses at night and cheap black hats. And they can play the blues, I guess, but they're all show, really. We heard they were in a regular old jail, then got sent here because they wouldn't stop being stupid-ass freaks, I guess. What douchebags. One's fat and the other talks like a weirdo."
Light expected Ami to defend them, since Yumi was being more than a little mean, but Ami just nodded in agreement and dragged Light forth. "Room three. Ark. He's best friends or lovers or something with this girl Kerrigan in the other hallway. I like Ark. He's nice and funny." She giggled. "And he's green."
Yumi sneered. "He's actually really stupid. Room four. Rod and Nicky. Best of buddies, since before they came. Don't know what they did to get here, they actually seem sorta sane. Nicky is actually really tolerable. Rod is just annoying."
"Stop being so mean!" Ami scolded. She turned to Light. "Really, Rod and Ark are great."
Yumi continued. "Room five. You and your roommates.
"Six. We don't know their names, we just call them blue and pink. That's the color of their hair and kind of their skin tone. Beyond weird. They'll ask you to go on an adventure. Don't go on an adventure; the last person that did was in the infirmary for like, a year."
Ami again. "Seven. That's the Mayor. He thinks he's mayor of the household. Just play along, we don't what'll happen if we don't."
Yumi again. "Eight. He only answers to Salad Fingers. Just… I don't even know how to describe him. You'll see him soon enough. He likes rusty spoons."
"Let's go to the girls' hallway!" Ami dragged Light out. He was starting to get quite bothered by the dragging and squealing, but willed himself to remain in control of his emotions (if nothing else) for his first few days.
Yumi deposited her empty soda can on a table next to a bouquet of flowers. Ami was done with hers but preferred to keep it until they reached a proper place to deposit it.
"Just like your hallway, same stupid watercolor crapola…" Yumi said. "But it smells better, no sucky blues music, no freaky barbers, and no tigers. Our people are just as screwed up yours, don't get me wrong, but we're screwier in a cooler, more intense, bottled-up-ready-to-explode way."
Ami started it again. "Room nine. That's Kerri. She's sweet, she likes Ark a lot, and she's always eating muffins.
"Room ten. Sara has to wear this muzzle thing, like she's a dog or something! Isn't that sad? And she's still like, a kid, too!"
Yumi interrupted. "Room eleven. Ariel and Marjane. Marjane's Iranian or something. Ariel is always drawing something or other and recording what people are saying. Oh, and she's a gay youth."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that," Ami quickly added.
Yumi nodded to the side. "Room twelve. That's Osaka. She's an airhead.
"Room thirteen. Her name is Veronica, but insists we call her Trixie. Hmmm.
"Room fourteen. That's Nami. She refers to money as berries and random inanimate objects as tangerines. Be careful, she's klepto, and really clever – she'll have something of yours sold before you know it's gone. Rumor has it she has medical files and lots of dirt. So, yeah, again, be careful."
"Room fifteen. Her name is Lois Griffin, but some people actually call her Mom." Ami said. "But even if they don't call her that, most people seem to look at her that way. She's very maternal. People come to her often for advice and comfort and stuff. I know I do."
"And last but not least, room sixteen. Our room!" Yumi sang. She kicked open the door. Inside was a dizzying, juxtaposing assortment of punk and preppy décor.
"Is he allowed to be in here?" Ami asked.
"Who cares?" Yumi marched over to her bed, complete with a black skull motif comforter. A black cat was sleeping, but woke up and stretched for its owner.
"I didn't know you were allowed to have pets here," Light commented. But he wasn't into waiting for a response. "I'm going to go now."
Ami was cuddling a fluffy white cat in her arms but stopped suddenly. "Wait, don't you want a tour of the rest of the house?"
"I'll figure it out," He shut the door behind him.
Outside in the hallway was a girl with straight dark hair and a happy smile. "Hi. What are you doing in our hallway?"
"Just… looking around."
"It's lunchtime."
She indicate for him to do anything, but he followed her as she left the hallway and slowly turned into another. He assumed she was going to the kitchen.
She turned into the library.
"Wait, isn't it lunchtime? Where's the kitchen?"
His voice snapped her back. "Oh! Right! Ha!" She trudged out back into the hallway until she reached the kitchen.
The kitchen, with its gray stone countertops and mahogany wood cupboards.
The kitchen, with a heavily stocked refrigerator and pantry.
The kitchen, with who knows who milling about.
"I'm not really hungry."
She turned to look at him, her smile still present but less so. "Oh? No?"
"Maybe later," The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was a multitude of people crazier and stupider than he.
Light went back down his hallway, thankful that no one popped out of hiding while he was there alone, or alone as he can possibly be nowadays. He entered the room again.
Calvin almost bumped into his knee. "Where are you going? It's lunchtime. Aren't you hungry?"
"No. I'm going to stay and unpack."
"You know something weird? Sometimes, they let us make our own food! I mena, there's always food, but there's also stuff in the refrigerator. All the food they make is already cut up, because our knives are all really dull… the forks too. And besides, aren't we supposed to be crazy? Aren't they concerned we'll spike a housemate's food for invading our personal space bubble or being out to get them?" He paused in thought. "Anyway, I gotta go. Hobbes won't shut up about his precious tuna fish. I'll make you a sandwich if you let me look through your stuff."
Light felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. He stayed and listened to Calvin's diatribe, somewhat impressed by Calvin's vocabulary as well as how sarcastic and negative beyond his years he was. He couldn't have been older than ten. "Well, tell you what, you make me a sandwich and I'll let you look through my dresser, okay? Make sure no one puts something in the sandwich."
Calvin walked off.
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Light made sure not to put anything of great interest in the armoire for Calvin.
Calvin's sandwich for Light was molasses and marshmallow.
His own sandwich was caramel syrup.
Hobbes was (presumably) happiest with his tuna fish.
Calvin read comic books for two hours before falling asleep.
Light did not leave the room that night.
He didn't sleep well, either.
Ryuk showed up in his room, took an apple from Light's duffel, and left.