... Alright, so, this is the culmination of the past... two days of work. Well, that plus three days of planning. And months of UST (Unresolved Storytelling Tension, for those clearly unfamiliar with my self-proclaimed talent for spinning things like that). But that's all irrelevant. The point is, I've been toying various ideas for a Gundam Seed fic from the moment I finished watching Destiny. And then that was strengthened after reading the likes of Maderfole's Gundam Seed: Chaotic Cosmos and known as r's Humanity's Judgment, neither of which actually influenced this idea.

No, what influenced this idea was three things. First and foremost, my intense hatred of Destiny (except for Kira; I really liked Kira in Destiny) and it's seeming replication of the first season with small changes. Second, my dislike of the fact that many Seed plot-fics either portray him as either too nice/weak or completely evil (Humanity's Judgment falls into the latter), and that I disagree with both characterizations of Kira. And lastly, I decided I wanted to play out an idea in which Lacus is assassinated, as per several rumors that a sequel to Destiny would involve her assassination.

This fic will be one of two things, depending on reception of it. As it stands it is a one-shot set in the Adventure genre, perhaps to be considered an alternate take on the end of Seed. If reception of the idea is sufficient, though, I will go ahead with my other plans for this fic and it will become an Adventure/Romance plot-fic, like most of my work (Carpé Diem has hardly gotten off the ground yet, so I reserve the right to exclude it for now). I'll leave that decision up to my faithful readers, as I believe this fic will be just fine either way. At the very least, this chapter satisfies me.

So... have at it.

"We..."

There was nothing. His eyes were wide open, taking in everything there was to be seen, yet he could see none of it. His senses had been numbed, along with everything else. He could see nothing, hear nothing... feel nothing. Was there anything to be felt, though? Was there anything left to be felt, to be heard, to be seen? After all, he'd done his duty, right? He had done it; he had killed the source of all this conflict. All this death. He had killed Rau Le Creuset, and with this, the war would end. It had to, right? It would only make sense.

But even so, there were so many questions he felt he had to ask. Would the war truly end? Would the deaths of those pushing the war truly be enough to allow the rest to look toward a bright future? Or were they being too idealistic, thinking that such a simple course of action would end the war? Kira had never truly hated anyone, not enough to truly wish them dead anyway, and so he could hardly say he knew how deep the hatred between Naturals and Coordinators ran. Well, he had hated Athrun enough to see him dead, but there had been a lot of tension at the time, and that hatred wasn't wholly his own. This hatred, though... It was bad enough that Naturals and Coordinators weren't entirely against the idea of completely destroying the other, though, right? That being so, Rau Le Creuset, Patrick Zala, and Blue Cosmos were not necessarily alone in their ideals.

... Well, perhaps Rau Le Creuset was. But having his ideals agreed upon was a terrifying prospect.

"Why are we here?"

Despite it all, he couldn't help asking that question. This isn't what he had wanted. Not even a year ago he had been a student, a brilliant one at that, with a bright future. He could have gone anywhere he wanted. He had wanted to do something to do with computer science. Something that he could fill the lonesome and boring days with, to give him excitement. Something that he enjoyed.

But he didn't enjoy killing. He didn't enjoy being humanity's hope for survival. All that weight, all that dependence... he had never asked for it. He hadn't asked to be the Ultimate Coordinator. They were all forced upon him, against his will. Why, though? Couldn't he have escaped it? Was he doomed from the start to be where he is now, drifting aimlessly, motionlessly? He could tell that he was alive, if only because he had recently grown aware of the fact that he could see small stars in the endless expanse of black above him. But that wasn't enough. He shouldn't have felt like this. Once upon a time, he had been delighted simply to receive praise for a job well done at the college on Heliopolis.

Now, that same sense of completion was accompanied simply by knowing he had killed a madman. He felt as though he'd done the greatest of deeds simply because he'd ended the life of another. Which wasn't wrong, necessarily... It just didn't make him happy. Knowing he felt joy at the loss of another's life, no matter whom the person, didn't make him happy. It made him feel empty, hollow. That feeling, which had once allowed him to sleep with a smile on his face and go into the next day with a spring to his step, now accompanied the knowledge that he had taken a life.

He hated that feeling, now.

It was painful to move, but he strained his head regardless. He knew he had to. He would soon lose consciousness, and inevitably die. He could feel the life in him draining out of the gaping wound in his chest. The blood hadn't yet made itself visible through his suit, but he knew it was there. He could tell, though he could not even feel it. He was glad for it, too. After all he had done, he could die in peace. He would die painlessly, as he had always hoped to. He would die with a heavy heart, perhaps, but it would be painless at least in the physical sense. And perhaps his death, untimely though it was, would be a good thing. He had sinned, he had killed... he needed redemption.

Redemption. That word tore at his mind like an angry headache that refused to subside. It so aptly described what his life had amounted to. Time after time, his actions were determined by the need for redemption. He had killed Sir Waldtfeld's lover, and he had offered his life in turn for that. He had been denied the opportunity to die then, but now...

Now he could truly die. Killing that first man in Heliopolis, killing Sir Waldtfeld's lover, killing Nicol, killing all those people... he could finally let the guilt consume him. He had never wanted to kill any of them, perhaps, but it had been necessary at the time. It was kill or be killed. Either he killed them or they killed not only him, but his friends and those whom he considered a second family. Murrue, Sai, Miriallia... even Dearka, though neither knew the other well. They were comrades, and that made him Kira's friend. They would be sad to learn he'd died, but he'd died redeeming himself. He could join those he had killed, those he had let die... Perhaps he could beg Flay's forgiveness when he died?

Flay wouldn't forgive him. She was far too prideful. He chuckled bitterly at that.

And Mwu... he hadn't even been by his side when he'd died. It had been so sudden, after all... could he have protected Mwu? Would him being there have made a difference? Perhaps, if he had offered himself in Mwu's place. But if he had done that, Rau would still be alive. Rau would have destroyed everything anyway, and Mwu would have died eventually... Still, giving Mwu those extra days; would it have been worth it?

His friends would say no. He would say yes. Kira knew that much.

Nearby, he could see what remained of his mobile suit floating just as helplessly. The ZGMF-X10A Freedom... Lacus had given it to him. She had told him to use it to do the right thing... and he had. Would she mourn him? Would she be sad if he died? He prayed not. They had dreams they shared, dreams that needed fulfilling. He knew she would never forgive him if he mourned her loss and it affected their plans. No, she wouldn't mourn. Perhaps on the inside, but that would be it.

Lacus was a strong person, after all. She still had the strength to hold herself as she did, even after losing her father. Kira blinked slowly, washing away threatening tears. Lacus had drawn strength from him, he knew that. She had depended on him, if only a little. But he had depended on her as well. They were kindred spirits, after all. Perhaps not much more, but they were at least that much.

The ring she had given him floated above his chest, beneath his tight, constricting suit. It had been looped through a chain and placed around his neck since then. What had it meant to her? He had a strong feeling, but then, he had never gotten the chance to ask. Did she love him? For that matter, did he love her? The trials before them had been too pressing at the time, and he hadn't even considered it. Was she just praying that her rock survived? Or was she praying that her lover, the only one she could trust what remained of her heart with, would come back to her? That was a silly thought, he realized belatedly.

It didn't matter anyway. Whether she needed him or loved him, she would not mourn for him. Hopefully, few would.

"Kira!" Someone was calling out to him now. It was distant, but he was certain of it. He didn't dare confirm it, though. What did it matter if anyone found him now? He was broken. He was nothing more than shattered remnants now, to be left with all the other destruction that had been wrought around him. He had come to terms with it, though. He was ready to let those he had wronged have their way with him. It was what had been required of him from the moment he'd sinned, since the moment he'd killed.

"Kira!" That voice was more masculine... Athrun? Perhaps. Kira smiled slightly, determining that the first voice must have been Cagalli. He should have known better than to think they would forget about him. Even though they should have forgotten him, they never would. They were good friends, too good perhaps. But that was okay. They were people he could rely on, people he knew had been there for him to the bitter end. He hadn't anticipated having such a reliable best friend and such a wonderful sister would be such a double-edged sword. Especially when just a few months ago he had been in despair, fighting his best friend and fighting off a crush for whom he now knew to be his sister.

Even now, that revelation stirred forgotten feelings in him. And as much as he hated himself for it, shame wasn't one of those feelings. He had held a crush for his sister once upon a time, and the feeling had clearly been mutual... at the time. But the revelation of them being siblings had hit them both hard. A line was immediately placed between them, one neither dared cross. They were so close, yet neither dared to acknowledge it. They were siblings. They weren't lovers. Kira had come to terms with this as well. He told himself the love he had for Cagalli had been a subconscious knowledge of her being his sister. The desire to protect her above all else had come from a brotherly desire to do so, not out of an embarrassing fondness for her. He had convinced himself it was so.

The Strike Rouge was close. Kira could tell, simply by listening to the growing sound of it's thrusters. The calling voices of his friend and sister were growing louder, heard over the sound of the suit's thrusters. He limply lifted his arm and reached out to them, though he could not see them. Tears finally broke free and ran down his face. Why did they have to come? Why couldn't they have been selfish for once, to have forgotten him the way he had wanted them to? It was a desperate hope and he knew it would never be, but... what if they had forgotten him? He didn't have time to consider that before he finally blacked out. The last feeling he felt before losing consciousness was that of his sister's small hands grasping his hand tightly, and his hot tears running down his face. He could feel...

But why did he have to love that feeling?

"... Breathing conditions, normal. He's stable." Quiet, hushed whispers. Almost inaudible.

"Will he live? He hasn't woken up!" ... Cagalli? That rough tone was distinctive.

"Miss Cagalli, it has only been three days. He was on the verge of death when you brought him to us."

So Cagalli had tried to save him... Though he knew he couldn't, for he was far too weak at that moment, Kira tried to smile. His heart swelled with gratitude, even when it should have been despairing at a lost chance to finally die. But was that gratitude for his sister, or...

"I know! But I can't lose him! He's all I have left!"

Was it for his old friend? The one whom, had things been different, may now have been his lover?

"I know how you feel, Miss Cagalli. But as it stands, we are lucky he has not needed to go comatose. His will to live is impressive."

Had he been able to, Kira would have laughed at that. Will to live? Last he remembered, he'd been pleading for death to take him away. To swallow him in it's warm embrace, to allow the demons of his past to claw at him to their hearts' content.

"You don't know a thing about how I feel!" Cagalli cried. And despite her distress, Kira was delighted to hear the worry in her voice. It had been far too long since he'd seen the caring side of his dear sister. Far too long indeed. That side of her belonged to Athrun now. Not that he was jealous.

"Even so, I..."

"Look, I..." Cagalli sighed, "I'm sorry. But I'm worried, alright?"

"I know you are, Miss Cagalli." There was a long pause that followed, and though Kira could not open his eyes he could tell this was the annoyed sort of pause, where the doctor would roll his eyes and casually reposition his glasses on the bridge of his nose, discreetly glaring at the offending person all the while. It was too bad for him, then, that Cagalli had looks that could easily kill. Kira knew this well from experience.

"Keep me updated, 'doc. I can't lose him..." Another pause, "I just can't. I won't know what to do anymore, you know?"

"Everyone here on the Archangel knows how much you need him, Miss Cagalli. But for now, all we can do is hope."

"Yeah..." Cagalli breathed, dejected.

"I know the kid too, you know? I owe my life to him, as does everyone else on this ship. I want him alive as much as you do, so just let me do my job, okay?"

The next time Kira felt aware of his surroundings, it was in far happier times. There wasn't anyone fighting around him, there wasn't any loud bickering that Cagalli could be known for...

But there was someone. Kira could feel someone, sitting nearby. The silence between him and his unknown visitor was palpable, but he could tell his visitor was nervous. They were searching for the right thing to say.

"... Hey, Kira." It was Athrun. Kira wished he could smile, delighted as he was that his friend was there by his side. Instead he did the only thing he could do, listening as intently as possible. Even if Athrun wasn't necessarily aware of his conscious state. "It's been almost two weeks. The fighting has stopped. Cagalli is in hysterics, claiming you sacrificed yourself to give us this peace. That the only reason we aren't holding guns to eachother is because you took the bullet for everyone else."

There was a long pause, as though now that he'd started talking, Athrun was desperate not to let them fall into silence. "I don't believe her, though, you know? You're strong. Far stronger than I ever thought you would be. Back on Copernicus, when we were kids... I always had to look out for you. You were just too friendly for your own good." A laugh followed, hollow and nervous, "But now... Now I don't know. Sometimes I still think you're that boy, the one that I had to defend. The one that relied upon me.

"Deep down, I think I still wish you were the weak Kira. The one that needed me around. But you don't need me anymore. We are friends because you want us to be, but you know what? You can look out for yourself. And it bothers me a bit, knowing that my purpose in your life isn't there. I used to be the big strong Athrun that would look after you. I'd pick you up when one of the other kids knocked you over, and I'd throw a punch or two if anyone made you cry. That was... it was just what I did. And it made me feel good, to know that you needed me."

Kira had felt numb from the moment he drifted out of the distorted cockpit of the Freedom, but now... why couldn't he feel everything? Every emotion his heart could offer, every aching pain in his body? If he could, he would have known whether or not he was crying. He didn't want to cry, but deep down he knew he would have been.

"But you don't need me anymore," Athrun went on, oblivious to the emotional distress he was bringing out in his friend. "I'm not the big strong Athrun I was years ago. Now I'm best friend Athrun, that guy that you almost killed... that guy that you want around, but don't need around. It's hard getting used to that, really. I'm used to being needed, to having you run to me asking for help. But you're strong now. I sometimes wonder if you are stronger now than I am.

"But even if you are, Kira, I..."

The day Kira woke, he'd never felt worse. His eyes slowly slid open, taunted by the unending darkness beyond the window in the small room. He could see the stars out there, lingering, reminding him of the last thing he had truly seen before falling into this depressing state.

The doctor was standing across the room, leaning against the wall and looking very bored as he flipped through a small book of some sort. The cover showed a medication package, so Kira's first guess was that it was a medical book of some sort. That, or the latest inspirational 'Don't Do Drugs' documentation novel from Earth. The latter seemed unlikely, though.

When the doctor noticed he was awake, he hastened to shut the book and toss it aside, running to Kira's side to check him over. He asked many questions in rapid succession, such as how he felt and whether he could perform certain tasks. Kira responded truthfully, testing his own functionability as he went. His right arm was a little limp and his legs were too stiff to do more than lift slightly; he'd not be walking for a while. His fingers moved perfectly, bending and stretching as they should. All in all, Kira was surprised to find the extent of his damages rendered him immobile and with a single arm.

Then the doctor left the room, mumbling something about a guest waiting and hysterics. Kira could put two and two together then, bracing himself as Cagalli ran in and flung herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing loudly into his chest. Kira smiled as he wrapped his left arm around her, holding her tightly and resting his chin upon her head. She continued to mumble things like, "Jerk," and, "Idiot," but he knew she was expressing her happiness as best she could. It had always been that way with her. Cagalli had far too much pride and was far too strong to sink to the level of disgustingly sweet words of affection. Every bit of affection in her had to be read between the lines, else it would never be found.

When finally she pulled away to look into Kira's eyes, he was surprised to see the worry in them. She never openly showed her worry to such an extent. She had no trouble expressing worry. Heck, expressing worry was what Cagalli did best. But she never showed so much worry before. Was it because he was her brother?

"I'm here, Cagalli," Kira whispered, placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I thought I had lost you again, you idiot," Cagalli mumbled half-heartedly. It was obvious she was too happy to try to be mad at him.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Kira placed another kiss to her forehead before wrapping his arm around her head, pressing her into his chest again. She responded immediately, sighing almost happily as her arms shifted to rest around his waist, holding tightly. "I wish you would be like this more often," he whispered into her hair, laughing afterwards.

"I don't," Cagalli whispered back, snuggling further into his chest. "I'm sick of thinking you're dead. First I thought Athrun had killed you, and now I thought you'd died for all of us. I don't want to worry after you anymore."

"What do you want, then?"

"I want my brother to keep holding me like this, and pretend to listen while I ramble about all the girly feelings I felt when I thought you were dead. You owe me that."

And he did owe her. But he didn't pretend to listen. Kira listened intently to her every word, mumbling words of encouragement into her hair when she inevitably began to cry again. She told him of how she refused to see even Athrun for almost a week after returning, and how it became daily routine for her to speak with Kisaka briefly before spending gross amounts of hours pestering the doctor about Kira's state of health. She told him how even when Athrun tried to comfort her, the best she'd managed to do was put a false smile on her face and convince him that she would be fine. And naturally, she mentioned that Athrun had bought it completely, and that she'd been annoyed for days that he had been unable to read her like he should have been able to.

But Kira could. The moment she had finished, he said softly, "You want Athrun to treat you like I treat you."

"I don't want a second brother," she protested, knocking his back with a fist lightly. Kira let out a fake cough, chuckling when she immediately pulled back, looking as though she were about to break into a fit of sobs again. But when she saw him smiling softly at her, her worry quickly turned into annoyance and she began hitting his chest with her fists repeatedly, saying, "Don't scare me like that!"

Kira brought up his hand and grabbed both of Cagalli's in it, stopping her assault. "I'm sorry, Cagalli," he whispered, gently laying her hands down into his lap. "And I didn't mean you want another brother."

"What did you mean, then?" she asked, rearranging herself so that she was laying beside him, head resting on his shoulder and fingers drawing miscellaneous patterns into his wobbly arm.

"Remember back when we left Desert Dawn, and you came with us to Alaska?" He felt Cagalli nod, so he continued, "Even back then, I could read you like an open book. We shared everything with eachother. We weren't much different then than we are now, except we weren't... brother and sister."

"What about it?" Cagalli asked softly.

"You want Athrun to know you like I do. You want him to be able to look at you and immediately know that you are trying not to break down in front of everybody. You want him to know when to talk to you, and when to just hold you and let you cry it out. You want him to make you feel safe, even though you are perfectly capable of protecting yourself."

"Stop it!" Cagalli cried suddenly, laughing. She leaned forward to look into Kira's eyes, smiling widely as she said, "I'm supposed to be the big sister, remember? Stop being so smart."

"But I'm right, aren't I?" Kira laughed, forming a fist with his left hand and lightly knocking it against Cagalli's head.

"You made me sound like some vain, selfish girl!" Cagalli retorted hotly, unable to hide her laughter.

Kira laughed with her for a good minute before leaning forward as best he could, running his hand through Cagalli's hair. "But deep down, you are a vain and selfish girl, right?"

"I thought I was selfless," Cagalli mumbled, determinedly looking away.

"You are as selfless as they come, Cagalli," Kira whispered, cupping her cheek and forcing her to face him. "But you are like any girl. Though you deny it, you want to be doted on. You want to feel like a Princess every morning – don't comment. You want Athrun's attention to be only on you, and it bothers you that he can't give you all of his attention because of..." he dropped his hand from her cheek and gestured in a large circle around them, "... all of this."

"You seem to have no trouble doing all of that. Lacus is lucky," Cagalli sighed. Kira made sure to note for later use that she didn't deny his point.

"Are you sure you should be calling her lucky when I'm your brother?" Kira laughed, taking great pleasure in watching her expression turn embarrassed immediately.

"You know what I mean!" she shot back, covering her face with her hands. "She has somebody who almost died trying to protect all of us, and he is still able to read me perfectly, you know? It makes me wonder, 'Why can't Athrun do that?'"

"I'd rather you not make it sound like I'm a possession. She doesn't 'have' me," Kira sighed, raising an eyebrow in a poor attempt to keep the amusement out of his features.

"Whatever," Cagalli muttered, swatting at his chest. "The point is, Athrun doesn't dote on me and he doesn't make me feel like the Princess I am. I don't have his sole attention, and he doesn't know when to talk or when to hold me."

"Sound more annoyed."

"... What?"

Kira flicked lightly at Cagalli's nose, saying, "You need to sound more annoyed. Sound angry. You being quiet and normal like this... it's starting to scare me."

"Don't tease me," Cagalli growled, turning that ever famous temper on Kira.

"That's better."

"Stop!"

"Angrier."

Cagalli punched him roughly in the shoulder, completely uncaring to whether or not it actually hurt him. "I'm going now."

"That was perfect."

As Kira lay in his comfortable infirmary bed that night, watching the stars outside, he couldn't help but sigh longingly. When had he ever felt as lighthearted as he had then? Teasing, laughing, joking... when had he last been able to do that? His time had been spent either brooding, killing, or planning, often in that order. He'd become a soldier through and through and he knew it, try as he might to deny it. Could he fit in with society now, with himself battle scarred as he was?

"Why are we here?" He found himself asking himself that question again. He knew he had no answer for it, but the question itself plagued him as much as the memories of his actions did. He gritted his teeth and slammed his fist down on his thigh, crying out in sheer frustration. He vaguely noticed the doctor running in to check on him, only to give him a reprimanding glare and retreat when he realized that Kira wasn't in any real pain. Any pain that could be treated, anyway. There was plenty of pain within, unable to be cured by even the greatest of science's advances.

"What's wrong, Kira?" The melodic voice that could only belong to Lacus drifted to his ears as she walked in, smiling faintly as she moved to take a seat at the chair beside his bed. "Cagalli called me the moment she left. How are you feeling?"

"I..." Kira looked away, ashamed to have been caught in the middle of one of his emotional episodes. "Why can't I be dead? It would be so much easier if I were."

"You want to run away?"

"I want to redeem myself. I have killed, and killed, and killed. Even when I fought to stop people from dying, not killing when it could be helped, I killed." Kira took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. His right arm was still motionless, his hand lying open palm in his lap. "It didn't occur to me at the time, since it was a best case scenario, but there were probably people that I'd tried to keep alive that eventually died. I can't keep anyone alive!"

"Is it Flay?" Lacus asked, unperturbed by Kira's torment.

"It's not even Flay, Lacus!" Kira cried, throwing his head back. "It's everyone. I killed Sir Waldtfeld's lover, I killed Nicol, I killed Flay... I've hurt my friends when I didn't even mean to."

"But you didn't mean to, right?" Lacus tilted her head to the side, watching the anguish in Kira's eyes with worry. "And you're regreting. That's a start."

"Even so," Kira said, looking up at Lacus. "They haunt me. They call out to me when I am awake, and they haunt me in my dreams. I can't free myself from that guilt."

Lacus said nothing as she stood, moving to sit beside him in bed and wrapping her arms around him slowly, tentatively. Neither had truly made any attempt to acknowledge where they stood with one another; there simply hadn't been an opportunity. But as she placed her arms around him Kira sighed softly, knowing immediately that he truly could feel at ease with her holding him. His hand reached across his chest to play with a lock of pink hair, spinning it around his finger and tugging at it softly, gently, lovingly. Lacus' head fell to his shoulder as his hand advanced, running through her hair and massaging her scalp as it went.

"Is this helping?" Lacus asked finally, her voice slightly higher pitched. Involuntarily she let out a squeak as Kira's hand ran down the side of her neck, tickling the soft skin there.

"Yeah," Kira mumbled, distracted as he focused on his hand's movement through Lacus' hair and down the sides of her neck, indiscriminately massaging or tickling as it went. He truly did feel burdenless then, lost in the feel of this rare moment. They didn't need words at that point; sometime in the last minute, they had wordlessly told the other where they stood. They were together, kindred spirits with similar ideals and lovers who relied upon one another to drown out the suffering of their past.

"This war is almost over," Lacus stated, her own hand beginning to trace a figure eight pattern on the palm of Kira's right hand. "Soon we can lay down our weapons and look toward the future."

"It's funny," Kira sighed, pulling Lacus close against the side of his body. "Here we are, two kids, trying to tell the world of adults what to do. When did we suddenly become the ones who had to do it?"

"They are too prideful," Lacus said quietly. "They don't remember what it's like to be friendly, to embrace those around you. Childlike innocence?"

"Childlike innocence," Kira agreed, his hand returning to playing with Lacus' hair. "What will happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"When all this is over, where will we stand?" Kira asked, drawing Lacus away from him with his hand so that he could look her in the eye. "I was pulled into this because I wanted to protect my friends. Now I fight because I want to stop the war. But despite all that, I don't want to fight. I don't want fighting to become my life."

"And," Lacus said, drawing the word out for an extra few seconds, "what is it you do want to do?"

Kira didn't answer. Instead he pulled Lacus against him again, pulling her slightly on top of him and used his left arm to pull his right around her slim waist. With the other he returned to playing with her hair, listening intently as her breathing began to even out. She was asleep a few minutes later, chest rising and falling and pressing into Kira's chest with every breath. Even as he fell asleep he continued to play with her hair, pondering the question she had asked.

That was another question Kira would have to find the answer to.

It was a week later, a full month after the fierce battle at Yachin Due, when Kira finally had a true visit again. Everyone had been busy going about their duties: Lacus had been busy with negotiations, finally reaching a stable point in the negotiations where, according to Athrun during a brief visit two days ago, both sides were certain to sign an agreeable peace treaty any day now. There hadn't been one drawn up yet, but Kira was sure that if anyone could do it, Lacus could. Cagalli had meanwhile been busy finding Orb loyalist contacts throughout the Earth Alliance to aid her in rebuilding Orb which had, again according to Athrun, recently been restored independent status from the Earth Alliance. Cagalli would have been ecstatic then, Kira was sure.

But when he saw her that morning, she was anything but ecstatic. She wasn't even happy. Her body was quivering and she was shaking with tears as she ran in, and Kira hardly had time to process anything before she flung herself at him, grabbing him around the neck and holding on for everything she was worth. Kira knew better than to let this moment fester in silence and he immediately drew her away from him, asking softly, "What's wrong?"

"You really do know when I want to talk," Cagalli choked out quietly.

"Answer the question," Kira replied sternly, ignoring her quip.

"The Eternal... it is..."

"Lacus?!" Kira cried, grabbing Cagalli's shoulders roughly. "Is everything okay? Tell me, Cagalli! Please!"

"It's under attack! By ZAFT forces!" Cagalli sobbed. "Some of our Astrays went to help, but we can't hold them off... I..."

"Is the Strike Rouge on the Archangel?" Kira asked suddenly.

"Y-yes, but..."

"Head to the bridge and tell them to ready it for launch." Kira stood, wincing as his legs struggled under his weight. He took a few experimental steps before collapsing against the wall. "I'm going."

"Like that?" Cagalli gasped, rushing over to support him. "You can't!"

"I have to!" Kira shot back. "I can't lose Lacus, Cagalli. I..." He paused, "No, we can't lose her. The world needs Lacus."

"You mean you need Lacus."

"I'm not that selfish."

"It's okay to be selfish sometimes, Kira."

Both fell into silence. With Cagalli's support Kira managed to kick off from the ground and let the lack of gravity guide him. He called over his shoulder, "Go let them know, okay?"

The trip to the hangar was eerily quiet for Kira's tastes. He passed by nobody, and even in the hangar mechanics seemed to be pointedly ignoring him, almost afraid at seeing the despair that was sure to be written on his face. He pushed himself up toward the open cockpit of the Strike Rouge, flinging himself in and seating himself, stubbornly ignoring the pain that shot through his body when it crashed into the seat.. He flipped several switches and watched the suit come to life, running through performance checks swiftly. His eyes followed everything it said easily, reading everything it had to say while his fingers strummed in alterations as necessary. No sooner had he finished than he saw a request for communication from the bridge. He pressed a button near the flashing alert on the screen before him, listening for any sort of sound from the bridge.

"... Kira, you're clear for launch," Miriallia's voice was heard softly. She seemed reluctant, and for good reason, given the circumstance. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I have to, Mir. Thank you." He eased the controls forward, stepping the Strike onto the small platform that then led the suit to the linear catapult's launching bay. Mechanics all around were hurrying to make sure everything was prepared for his launch, and he registered vaguely that Murdock was giving him a thumbs up. "Kira Yamato, Strike Rouge!" he called out, as was his unnecessary wont. "Launching!"

The catapult flung him forward at that moment, the suit coming to life as it was launched from the Archangel. He lurched forward as he struggled to get a proper hand on the controls, fighting to keep control over the suit. That didn't bode well for him.

"Kira," Miriallia called out to him again. "There are ten of them right now. Seven are Ginns, but there are three Cgues as well. Be careful."

He had fought far worse. And he'd done so with nothing but him and either the Moebius Zero or the Skygrasper to lend him support. He could do this. He could...

His vision blurred and he lurched forward again, sending the Strike Rouge into a downward lurch as well. He blinked several times to regain his focus, steering himself toward the tiny blips on his radar, surrounding the Eternal. They weren't far off and the Eternal had help, but would it be enough? Kira had realized, albeit belatedly, that Orb's Astray mobile suits weren't quite on par with the Cgue suits ZAFT was pumping out. And ZAFT had a slight advantage in their status as Coordinators, though their genetic enhancements had proven to be a relatively small point in mobile suit warfare.

"How are the Kusanagi's Astrays holding out?" Kira asked, watching, with careful calculation, the green beams flying back and forth in the distance, accompanied by small explosions from time to time. None large enough to have been a mobile suit exploding.

"Not well, Kira. They are outnumbered two to one as it is, and Kisaka is afraid to put what little is left of their troops in danger as well. You will have to save them," Miriallia explained grimly.

Kira nodded, now all the more determined to save the Eternal. He would beat this weakness of his. He would save Lacus. He would not fail again. "I can't lose anyone else," he muttered to himself.

When the Eternal came into sight, he couldn't prevent a gasp from escaping his mouth. The situation was worse than he had expected. Ginns had it surrounded on all sides while the three Cgues fought off three of the Astrays. The two other Astrays were defending the Eternal as best they could, but it was a hopeless endeavor. Kira knew which group it was he needed to help. Bringing his beam sword to hand, he turned toward one of the Ginns and rushed it, cutting off one of it's arms before it could act. As it spun around him he followed, swerving when it hopelessly tried throwing it's shield at him. He closed the distance once more and took out it's other arm and it's head in one swing, leaving the suit to drift away hopelessly, to be either abandoned or recovered by it's allies.

He didn't have to wait long to find his next foe. He turned and brought up his shield just in time to stop a beam shot from a beam rifle before it hit him. He brought his own rifle to hand and carefully fired, hitting the joint that held it's right arm in place, leaving it weaponless and it's head damaged by the resulting explosion. Words of gratitude poured in from the pilots of the Astrays as soon as he took out the second one, showing to Kira the grim reality of their situation. And dismantling two Ginns hardly helped the Eternal's position.

"This is Kira Yamato! Eternal, can you hear me?" Kira called out desperately as he reached out to one of the Astray, pulling it aside just in time to save it from a beam fired from a distant rifle. He quickly spun to face it and brought his rifle up again, firing blindly. The Ginn flew over the shot and maneuvered itself to Kira's left side, firing again. This time it hit the Astray and destroyed it, the resulting explosion shaking Kira's suit. His vision faded out completely for a second, but he still managed to find the Ginn and take it out with a few swift swings of his saber, removing it's head and arms in the blink of an eye. "This is Kira Yamato! Can you here me?!"

"... Kira!" Lacus called out to him, her voice telling him of the worry her heart surely felt. The response was faint at best, static intruding upon her words and cutting her off every few seconds. The Eternal must have been hit harder than he anticipated. "What... doing?!"

Kira didn't need to hear what the static had cut off to know what she had to say, naturally. He had asked himself that question as well, briefly, before dismissing the thought. He was protecting Lacus, of course. But not just her. Sir Waldtfeld, Martin... His allies, some former enemies, were aboard the Eternal. The near entirety of the Clyne Faction was aboard the Eternal. If nothing else, they couldn't afford to lose the Clyne Faction. On a more personal level, Kira knew that he didn't care all that much about the Clyne Faction itself. What he cared about were his friends, the people stuck on board the Eternal, fighting for their lives as best they could. And he may have lost the Freedom, but Kira was not about to let that stop him.

"I'm saving everyone!" he cried. "I won't lose anyone else! I will protect them!"

And that was all that he truly need to hear. That determination fueled him, gave him the strength to push on. His body seemed to respond to that desire as well. His senses were suddenly heightened; he felt as though he could feel the very movements those around him were making. As a Ginn nearby sprung out from beneath the Eternal and fired at him Kira was quick to react, dodging the shot and firing back, taking out the arm that had been holding the rifle. He could no longer feel the ache of his wounds or the ache in his heart at the thought of failure. He had become hollow, devoid of anything beyond the feral desire to see his enemy defeated and his friends saved. His body sacrificed all else, granting him the state of mind required to focus on that alone. That was the SEED power he had awakened within himself many months ago.

"... Stop it!" Lacus' panicked voice wasn't reassuring, but in Kira's state of mind he was able to dismiss it easily. What may have actually affected him normally received no more than a casual notice at that moment, engrossed as he was in his present duty. Two more Ginns came at him from both sides, beam rifles trained forward and firing. He assessed the situation quickly, swerving and dodging their assaults as they continued to grow closer. At the last possible second he flipped upward, his beam saber cutting off the arm of one while he fired at the other, dropping his shield in the process of favoring such an offensive maneuver, taking out it's arm as well. Both remained still for a moment in shock before pulling off, poorly armed as they were. If they had anything left to use against him, they no longer had the will to try.

Kira scanned the battlefield before him critically. All of the Astrays that had been engaging the Cgue had been destroyed, overpowered and methodically taken out. The prospect of fighting them off as well as the single remaining Ginn didn't bother Kira, particularly, given the fact that he still had some help. Granted it was a single Astray, but that would be enough to hold off a single Ginn.

"Take care of that last Ginn," Kira ordered softly, praying belatedly that his sole ally still had means of hearing him. He didn't dwell on it, moving quickly to intercept the three Cgue that were quickly advancing on the Eternal, which in itself looked hardly capable of doing much more than sitting around and getting destroyed. It was smoking in several places, and it seemed to be a miracle that it hadn't yet been destroyed. Only the bridge looked to be untouched, but that alone made Kira dare to hope. There was a chance he could do this. There was a chance he could save Lacus. He...

"Astray to Strike pilot! I can't find the Ginn!" Kira jerked to rigid attention when the Astray pilot's voice pervaded his thoughts, startling him. His eyes moved to his radar immediately, scanning it for any heat signals. If there were any aside from himself and the Astray, they were being concealed. The three Cgue were close, but none of them could have been the signal for the remaining Ginn. Unless the Ginn had retreated without his noticing, which wasn't likely, and one of the Cgues had inexplicably retreated, also unlikely. That meant...

"The Eternal!" Kira cried, whirling about. But he was far too late. The Ginn revealed itself then, rising up to a steady level in front of the Eternal's bridge and fired. The green beam travelled at a pace far too slow for Kira's heightened senses, inevitably hitting it's mark and sending a massive burst of fire through the now wide open bridge. That blow seemed to do it for the rest of the Eternal, as a moment later it detonated, rocking everything around it with the force of it's explosion.

Kira couldn't really tell if his heart was still beating, then. Who was to say? What remained of it had nothing left to cling to, grasping desperately at whatever nothingness lay before it. His only relief came in the fact that he did not cry. He did not feel pain. He did not know if he was numbed to it, or if he simply couldn't feel it. Either way, all that he felt when the Eternal exploded was the hollow emptiness that had filled him the moment he had entered his SEED state.

"Kira!" Mirialia called out to him, her voice hoarse. She too had seen what had just happened, clearly, and her distress was apparent. Unlike Kira it was clear she was crying, as a sob interrupted her attempt to speak. "Are you okay? Answer me!"

"Kira Yamato to Captain Ramius," Kira replied dully. He realized that his body was moving of it's own accord, turning toward the Ginn and firing, destroying it in a burst of flames that left nothing but charred remains in it's wake. He didn't even bother to try and spare the pilot.

"Kira?" Murrue's equally hoarse voice asked tensely. "What is it?"

Kira didn't respond immediately. He charged at the nearby Cgues, dodging everything that came his way with an ease that startled even him. Not even SEED provided such a sense of awareness. They backed away slightly as he neared, but it wasn't enough. His saber was already held high, and in a blindingly swift motion he swiped at one, destroying it. Before anything could move he had turned and slashed again, destroying the second. As the third dared to flee he pulled out his rifle, firing at it's backside and destroying it as well. There was a dull pain within him as he heartlessly destroyed them rather than decapitating them as he had taken to doing, but he ignored it.

"... I think I know why we are here." And then he blacked out.

And that is the inconclusive one-shot of the day. The ending leaves something to be desired as a one-shot, but as a prologue for a future plot-fic it works just fine. In case you needed additional incentive to make your decision.