Yep, another story. You can blame Shonda.

Okay, it's official. I'm pathetic. When Lexie walked towards the elevator I was actually squealing and clapping my hands because I was so excited to see what would happen in the elevator. One minute later I felt as if my shipper heart had just been smashed against the wall.

So my frustration with the show has to go somewhere before I'm going to explode. So here you go! What should have happened.

Chapter 1: Crossroads

So make sure you want him back because you want him and not because he is with somebody else.

Lexie couldn't stop thinking about Derek's words. Did she want Mark back because she couldn't stand seeing him with another woman? Was it jealousy? Lexie pressed the elevator button, waiting for the cabin to arrive, her mind spinning around Derek's words.

The only thing that could change that is, if he knew that he still has a shot with you.

Would Mark really change his mind if he would know about her feelings? Would he choose her?

The ping of the elevator jerked her out of her musing, but when she looked up a familiar pain stabbed her heart. He was standing in the elevator and only seeing him made her heart ache.

No. It wasn't jealousy. She loved him. She was sure. She wanted him. Not because she was with somebody else. She wanted him because she didn't know how to live without him. Being without him made her feel as if there wasn't enough oxygen in the air, being apart from him felt as if an essential part of herself was missing. She needed him like the air she was breathing, she needed him like the heart that was beating in her chest.

The breath she had been holding rushed out in a soft sigh. She couldn't turn around and walk away, so she stepped inside.

"Lobby?" Mark asked her before he pressed the button to close the doors.

"Lobby!" Lexie replied, her voice sounded even strange to her. All squeaky. As if she had to push the air around the big lump in her throat.

The elevator doors closed and Lexie's heart began to race. Wasn't this the perfect opportunity? She just had to step forward and flip the emergency switch. It would be that easy. Flip the switch and he couldn't escape. She would be able to talk to him without any interruptions. But before Lexie could make a decision, the elevator pinged and the doors opened.

"Parking lot?" Mark asked, his voice sending goosebumps over her whole body.

"Parking lot!" Lexie pressed out, following him out of the elevator. The smirk he sent in her direction almost made her heart stop. But suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't go to the parking lot with him.

"Ah, you know what? I … I forgot I have some charting to do. So … have a great night." Lexie turned around sharply and pressed the elevator button, willing the cabin to arrive faster.

Mark furrowed his brows in confusion, feeling disappointment rising in his chest. She couldn't even go to the parking lot with him? Why did they still acted so weird around each other? But if he thought back, Lexie was acting weird since she had thrown the baseball at Julia's chest and then she had been standing in front of his apartment, completely unexpected, because she'd wanted to talk to him.

Mark shook his head. He obviously read too much into it. If it would have been important Lexie would have told him. Maybe she just hadn't wanted to spend the evening alone with Zola, maybe she just wanted to talk to an adult. But Mark could still not shake the uneasiness. He just wished that he could stop caring about her. He just wished that he didn't still have feelings for her. He just wished that the part of his heart that still hoped she would come back would just shut up and give him a break.

~M&L~

Lexie stood in the elevator, pressing her head against the wall.

"You are an idiot, Lexie Grey? You are a complete idiot. You have to tell him. What are you waiting for? Do you want him to propose to her? Do you want to wait until it's too late?"

Lexie had hoped that talking to herself would make her feel better. But it didn't work. The moment she realized that the possibility that he might ask Julia to marry him wasn't that far fetched, her heart clenched painfully.

"Oh my god, what am I doing?"

The moment the doors opened Lexie rushed out of the elevator, taking the stairs to run down to the lobby. The elevator wasn't fast enough. She needed to stop him before he would get into his car and drive away.

Running through the sliding doors, she stopped for a second, searching the lot frantically for any sign of Mark. She thought that he was already gone when she caught a glimpse of his jacket and she almost fell over her own feet in the attempt to reach him before he could climb into his car.

"Mark? Wait!" Lexie exclaimed, slightly breathless, as she reached him. As he turned around, clearly surprised why she was standing in the parking lot, Lexie took in a deep breath before she said slowly. "I need to talk to you."

"About the stuff you wanted to talk about on Valentine's Day?" Mark asked curiously.

"Yeah, about that stuff." Lexie replied, trying to catch her breath.

"Sure. Do you wanna grab a drink at Joe's?" Mark already turned into the direction of Joe's bar and Lexie grabbed his arm to hold him back.

"No." Lexie said, sharper than she had intended to and Mark looked confused at her, his gaze dropping to her hand on his arm and Lexie quickly pulled her hand back. "I … I don't think we should talk about this … stuff in public."

"We are standing on a parking lot, Lex. Not really private."

"Maybe. But it's definitely better than in the hospital or at Joe's. At least here I can see if someone is going to interrupt us."

"Okay, so shoot. What stuff are you wanting to talk about?" Mark really wanted to know what she wanted to tell him. It was obviously so important to her that she'd run after him.

"I'm carrying it around for months now. Scared to tell you. Scared that I'm too late and obviously I'm already too late." Lexie started to explain.

"Too late? Too late for what?" Mark asked, a strange feeling settling into his stomach. She couldn't mean what his heart hoped she meant. That wasn't possible.

"I overheard you telling Derek that you are thinking about moving in with Julia and I freaked out." Lexie said. "God damn it. I even went all crazy in front of Alex and Jackson telling them a story about pets. It's driving me crazy, Mark. I can't even look at you anymore without feeling as if a car just crashed into my heart. Only looking at you hurts so damn much, Mark. Knowing that I was the one who shoved you away, knowing that you'd only done what I've told you it's … I am pathetic. I am a pathetic mess."

"You are not making any sense, Lexie." Mark's hands started to tremble and he balled his hands into fists. No, it couldn't be true. She'd told him to leave her alone. She'd been the one who didn't want to love him anymore.

"That's exactly it." Lexie continued, oblivious to the turmoil that raced through Mark's body. "This doesn't make any sense. At all. We don't work. We are too different. But it seems my heart doesn't want to listen."

"Lex? What are you trying to say?" Mark asked barely above a whisper. He had difficulties to breathe. After all this time? Did she want to tell him that she wanted him back?

"Derek told me that it wouldn't matter what he'd tell you. You would move in with Julia anyway. But he also told me that he thinks that I'm the only one who can stop you. But if I'm gonna trying to stop you ..." Lexie paused briefly, her chest constricting painfully. "I should be sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons."

"You want to stop me?" Mark asked incredulously. "Why?"

"Because I'm still in love with you and the thought of you moving in with another woman is killing me." Lexie locked eyes with him, deciding that if there ever had been the need for desperate measures this would be the time. "I'm still in love with you, Mark. I tried not to be but it didn't work. I don't want to love anyone else. I want another chance. I'm in love with you."

"You stole my speech." Mark said hoarsely. "That's not fair, Lexie. You're playing dirty."

"Is it working?"

"What do you expect me to do, Lexie?"

"I don't know. Just tell me if … I just wanna know ..." Lexie took in a deep breath, tears pricking the back of her eyes. "I always hated women who begged a man to take her back, to choose her. So I'm not gonna do it. But I still have to tell you … don't move in with Julia, Mark."

"I don't know if ..." Mark started, but Lexie raised her hand, stopping him in mid-sentence.

"Is there any part of you that still believes in us?" Lexie asked, trying desperately to keep any pleading tone out of her voice. "Just tell me that you don't love me, Mark, and I'll go. I'm gonna turn around and walk away. If you say that you aren't still in love with me, I will leave you alone. But if I … if I still mean something to you then … I want you back, Mark. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If I wouldn't be such a traditional romantic who wants the man to drop on one knee I would do it. But that would be pathetic, right? It would feel like begging and I'm not begging. I'm just stating the facts. I love you and if you turn me down ... I'll survive. Of course I'll survive because who would die because of a broken heart. I'll survive but I don't think that I'm ever going to be able to get completely over you, Mark. A piece of my heart will always belong to you. Always!"

"I can't." Mark replied softly.

"Oooo-kaaay!" Lexie stuttered. Derek had been wrong. She wasn't the one who could stop him. "That's all I wanted to know. I'm just gonna ..."

"No, don't leave." Mark interrupted her, grabbing her arm before she could walk away.

"Why?" Lexie asked. She just wanted to get away. She would break down any second and she didn't want to break down in front of him. "You've just told me that you can't give us another chance."

"I didn't say that."

"Then what did you mean?" Lexie asked, unable to keep the hope out of her voice.

"I can't tell you that I don't love you." Mark replied quietly, his hand tightening around her arm, his eyes burning into hers. "Because it would be a lie, Lex. Because I do love you. I never stopped loving you."

"You do? But ..." Lexie said, but got interrupted by Mark putting his finger over her lips.

"Answer me one question." His finger on his lips made her knees weak. She would do anything for him. "How do I know that you won't walk out on me again the minute things get tough?"

Even though Lexie knew that this would be the most pressing issue he would have with them getting back together it still hurt that he couldn't trust her. But she was willing to accept that this was mostly her fault. She had been the one who walked out on him without giving him a chance to talk to her. Raising her hand, she wrapped her fingers around his and pulled his hand down.

"You don't." Lexie replied softly, intertwining her fingers with his, not able to resist the feeling of his skin on hers. "I can only promise you that I will never walk out on you like this again. But I don't know if my word is good enough for you."

"On the one hand I don't think I can live with the fear that you won't stay around forever." Mark squeezed her hand, the love to her already overwhelming him again. "I'm scared that I wouldn't stop thinking about it every day. That every minute we would spend together would be tainted by this fear."

"And what's on the other hand?"

"On the other hand …" Mark looked down at their entwined hands, his thumb drawing slow circles in her palm before his eyes searched hers again. "I would never forgive myself if I don't try."

"So where does this leave us?" Lexie asked hesitantly.

"At a crossroads?"

"Which way are you going to choose?" Lexie asked fearfully. What if he would choose Julia over her?

"The one where you are waiting for me at the end." Mark replied, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really! But I need some time to catch up to you."

"I'll wait."

Tschatschanga! That's what I would have wanted to see. But of course why should we get anything even remotely like this. We can be glad if they are saying more than three words to each other. It's getting so ridiculous that you could almost laugh about it. Almost. If it wouldn't make me so sad to see them being unable to talk to each other.

I have an idea to continue this but it's not going to be a very long story. Three to four chapters I think. Might depend on how much longer Shonda is going to stomp on my shipper heart.